In which I spend entirely too much more time theorizing about this ‘Bachelor’ mess

We have arrived at another Friday, I am happy to report.

This photo is an entire short story and I love it.

The Bachelor’s Rachael Kirkconnell would like you very well-intentioned people to stop defending her past bad behavior, Chris Harrison:

Y’all, I know you’re probably sick of hearing about this story, but there is A LOT of damage control going on over in The Bachelor universe over this story and it is fascinating. It is especially interesting when you consider how little attention the show paid to the offensive behavior of Lee Garrett on Rachel Lindsey’s season or Garrett Yrigoyen, the winner on Becca Kufrin’s season. (Maybe it’s the name “Garrett?” Something to consider.)

So what’s going on here? One issue, of course, is the reason that we are even at this place — the show cast its first Black Bachelor under pressure from the BLM protests that erupted across this country this past summer. Chris Harrison was right about one thing in that problematic interview: we are in a different moment in time, we are more aware, and the show can no longer laugh off misogynistic and homophobic comments as they did with Yrigoyen, and they will run into insurmountable problems if they try to cast another open racist like Lee Garrett just for the shock value. The show is clearly learning that it can’t simultaneously pat itself on the back for being more inclusive and then dismiss the concerns of its few Black alums when something questionable materializes about a White castmember.

But as much as I want to believe that someone at The Bachelor or ABC got the memo that they don’t get to have it both ways, I actually think something much simpler is happening: Rachael Kirkconnell is this season’s winner. Now, I don’t know this to be true — but there is a one in three chance that she’s Matt James’ final choice. And I happen to be cynical enough to think that everything that has happened as a result of this story — from Chris Harrison’s dismissive behavior towards Rachel Lindsay, to his removal from the show, to this Instagram message from Kirkconnell — is because The Bachelor is desperately trying to keep the myth of the fairytale alive.

Watching that Rachel Lindsay interview with Chris Harrison, it was evident to me that he just wanted the whole conversation about Kirkconnell to go away, for people to stop talking about it and making a big deal about it — not because he’s racist (although I clearly don’t know what is in his heart) but because it is important to the franchise that this be a successful love story. And having the first Black Bachelor propose to a low-key racist is not the ending of a successful love story. So, when that response elicited its own backlash, ABC had to respond with a new strategy, launching a full-on, “WE ARE LEARNING FROM OUR MISTAKES” campaign, which included removing Chris Harrison, having Matt James respond with his own, “I am only learning about these events in real-time” statement, and now Kirkconnell’s insistence that she’s doing the work. They are laying the groundwork for a redemption narrative, and maybe I’m just jaded, but I don’t think they would be putting this much effort into it if one of the other two women remaining had won.

Prince Harry opened up to James Corden about being a royal and what The Crown gets right:

“They don’t pretend to be news. It’s fictional — but it’s loosely based on the truth. Of course it’s not strictly accurate, of course,” Prince Harry said. “But loosely, it gives you a rough idea about what that lifestyle — what the pressures of putting duty and service above family and everything else — what can come from that.”

Prince Harry continued, “I’m way more comfortable with ‘The Crown’ than I am seeing the stories written about my family or my wife or myself. Because that is the difference between what is obviously fiction, take it how you will, but this has been reported on as fact because you are supposedly news. I have a real issue with that.”

And if you wondered what Baby Archie eats for breakfast, WONDER NO MORE.

Here are some more Masked Singer costumes to haunt your nightmares.

Eddie Murphy added some details to his brother’s famous story about playing basketball with Prince, and it involves Prince’s teeny tiny shoes.

No, there will probably not be a Friday Night Lights reunion. (This is the only thing E! ever asks TV creators. Seriously, guys, come up with some other questions.)

AT&T is selling part of its ownership in DirecTV, which is interesting. Again, I ask: when do the bit corporations expect cable to be a thing of the past? They all clearly have a date in mind, I want to know when it is.

Hasbro announced that they are rebranding Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head to the gender-neutral “Potato Head” — though they also aren’t getting rid of Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. Basically, they are creating a Create Your Potato Head Family, which will be a kit with two large potato bodies, and one smaller potato body, along with 42 accessories, so that people can create their own Potato Head families, which can be same-sex families or single parents. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Definitely not something to get worked up about because getting yourself worked up about an inoffensive child’s toy suggests that you don’t have real problems to worry about, right Fox News?

This guy argues that waiting room televisions should be set to The Food Network or HGTV instead of cable news, and y’all, he’s not wrong.

Someone made a Twin Peaks “lodge” for squirrels and birds.

Going Viral

The number of cases is no longer plateauing but actually starting to tick upwards, but there is hope among the experts that this isn’t another wave, but just a by-product of a delay in reporting because of the winter storm.

Meanwhile, governors, including my own here in Texas, are considering easing restrictions including lifting mask mandates. Yeah, I mean, maybe not just yet, guys? We’re close, I agree, but maybe let’s wait until we are confident the most vulnerable have been vaccinated and can start vaccinating the general population?

The Johnson & Johnson vaccine will probably be approved as early as tomorrow. ~fingers crossed~

California has seen more than 50,000 deaths from COVID-19, the most of any state. California has also lost an estimated 175,000 “creative economy jobs.”

Filming on Apple TV+’s series Truth Be Told was interrupted by protestors who were mad that the show was allowed to film in a park that has been locked up due to COVID-19. Kinda hilariously: “Nearby vendors wanted the filming to continue, even though some protestors said that they were there for the vendors themselves.”

The Queen says the shot — I’m sorry, “jab” — doesn’t hurt.

New York’s Lincoln Center will be opening 10 outdoor performance and rehearsal stages in April. 

They finally have decided that No Time to Die will open on September 30, and for the first time ever, I think they might have found a date that will actually happen.

We’re all starting to come apart at the seams:


  • Animaniacs has been renewed for a third season on Hulu.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Underground Railroad will debut on Amazon on May 14.
  • The Handmaid’s Tale will return on Hulu on April 28.
  • Shrill will return on Hulu on May 7.
  • Law & Order: Organized Crime debuts on NBC on April 1.
  • M.O.D.O.K. will debut on Hulu on May 21.
  • The One will debut on Netflix on March 12
  • Snabba Cash will premiere on Netflix on April 7.
  • A Tiny Audience will return on HBO Latino and HBO Max on March 19.
  • Gomorra will return on Sky and HBO Max soon.


Ronald Pickup, Actor in The Crown and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel among others

Alan Robert Murray, Oscar-winning sound editor



The Manchurian Candidate: The original and one of my all-time favorite movies. More relevant now than ever. 7 p.m., TCM

Tom and Jerry: They’ve turned the classic cartoon into a hybrid animation/live-action movie for some reason. Warner Bros. > Hanna Barbara. I will die on this particular hill.  HBO Max

Brutal Bridesmaids: EVIL BRIDESMAIDS. Just the latest thing for a modern woman to worry about. 7 p.m., LMN


Saturday Night Live: Nick Jonas and Nick Jonas. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Hereditary: Most terrifying movie of the past ten years? Discuss. 10:15 p.m., Showtime Showcase

Girl in the Basement: This Lifetime movie is based on the true story of a young woman who was held prisoner in her basement by her monster of a father for decades. And hey, Judd Nelson plays the dad, so I guess he’s getting work again? 7 p.m., Lifetime

Jurassic Park marathon: RWAOR! 2:30 p.m., TBS


The Golden Globes: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are back to host the stupidest awards ceremony from opposite coasts. We’ll see how it goes. 7 p.m., NBC

The Walking Dead: Look who’s back: Maggie’s back. Winter season premiere. 8 p.m., AMC

The Circus: I bet when these guys started this season in January, they thought it would be calmer, maybe some inauguration coverage, and that they’d actually be able to get some sleep. LOL. Season finale. 7 p.m., Showtime

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Queen Latifah, Paris Hilton, The Network
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Cynthia Bailey, Miss Lawrence

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
CBS MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Blue Bloods
CW Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
FBI: Most Wanted
48 Hours News/Local
FOX PBS Fight Night
NBC Young Rock
The Weakest Link
Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live
(Nick Jonas)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
American Idol
The Rookie
CBS 60 Minutes NCIS: Los Angeles
NCIS: New Orleans
The CW Local Batwoman
FOX Cherries Wild
Bless the Harts
The Simp-sons
The Great North
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC Golden Globes: Pre-Show
The Golden Globes

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