It is Monday and it is one week until the Electoral College officially votes for Joe Biden as president and 44 days until Joe Biden is sworn in as the President of the United States.
And because you’ve been patient with me today, here’s my new very favorite Twitter account: Place Where Car Shouldn’t Be.
December 5, 2020
December 6, 2020
December 6, 2020
It’s been a busy weekend of absolutely nothing changing in the aftermath of the election:
President Fraud went to Georgia ostensibly to host a rally for Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue, but he spent the majority of his time bitching about how he won the state and how the Republican Governor Brian Kemp won’t cheat on his behalf.
Trump incoherently rants about the Georgia election being rigged against him while encouraging Georgia Republicans to go vote in the Senate runoffs next month pic.twitter.com/nJorjwE0yB— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 6, 2020
"I like cucumbers" — this speech has gone bizarre places pic.twitter.com/RehhhrPd8r— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 6, 2020
Georgia just recertified their results for the third and final time. Biden still won.
But President Firestarter’s lies about the election have real consequences: an armed mob showed up on Michigan secretary of state’s front lawn to “protest” the election results.
“Dozens of armed individuals” showed up to Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson’s home last night, shouting “Stop The Steal!” pic.twitter.com/rZhPK5hbsv— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 7, 2020
Meanwhile, Bill Barr is looking to distance himself from his shit show. (Too late.)
And sources in the campaign staff and legal team are starting to say that the legal avenues to challenge the election are closing up BECAUSE THEY NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. With one of their key players contracting COVID (see below), and the Electoral College meeting in a week, the clock is ticking.
Axios is reporting that President Ratfuck is making big plans to ratfuck Joe Biden’s inauguration: “President Trump is considering a made-for-TV grand finale: a White House departure on Marine One and final Air Force One flight to Florida for a political rally opposite Joe Biden’s inauguration.” I mean, who knows if this is true, but it certainly sounds like something this asshole would do. Alternatively, this is a plan being leaked to Axios by those close to President Attention-Seeker as a means to encourage him to give up the election fight and focus on what comes next — a promise that he can always be the center of attention, even if he’s not in the White House.
Funny part is, if Trump takes Air Force One during Biden's inauguration, then it'll create the humiliating spectacle of the pilot changing the callsign the moment that Biden is sworn in. That's what happened to Nixon. https://t.co/NQw5ZeoPri pic.twitter.com/ZQbPltVM6v— Max Kennerly (@MaxKennerly) December 7, 2020
Anywhoodles, Joe Biden just keeps on keeping on: he’s going to name his health team tomorrow; and his Defense Secretary by the end of the week. Maybe this guy?
Retired Gen. Lloyd Austin, once viewed as a long-shot candidate to be President-elect Joe Biden’s defense secretary, has been chosen to lead the Pentagon https://t.co/8cZwldc1Nv— POLITICO (@politico) December 7, 2020
Oh, and one more reason to be grateful Joe Biden won? It makes a Veep revival more likely.
We hit one million more cases in the first five days of December.
And one of those cases was one Rudy Giuliani, which 1. “well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions”:
Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday, asking one of his witnesses: “Would you be comfortable taking your mask off some people can hear you?”— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) December 6, 2020
He was unmasked at the Michigan election hearing for over 4 hours pic.twitter.com/L8hh5wvMTD
But 2. HOW DID IT TAKE THIS LONG FOR THIS NUMBNUTS (literally) TO CATCH THIS VIRUS? America’s Mayor is in the hospital, which would seem to contradict this tweet:
Thank you to all my friends and followers for all the prayers and kind wishes.— Rudy W. Giuliani (@RudyGiuliani) December 7, 2020
I’m getting great care and feeling good.
Recovering quickly and keeping up with everything.
The Arizona Legislature is taking a week off after having been exposed to Tooty Rudy.
Rudy Giuliani: Please don’t let the doctor equivalent of Rudy Giuliani treat me. https://t.co/BsVciCYP5h— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) December 6, 2020
truly been a wild month-plus for giuliani pic.twitter.com/ZuzCvDeA7k— Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) December 6, 2020
Also testing positive: MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle and her entire family. She’s doing better but had a lot to say about the experience.
Watch @SRuhle share her experience with COVID-19 after she and her family tested positive.— MSNBC Live with Stephanie Ruhle (@RuhleOnMSNBC) December 7, 2020
"It is not over." @MSNBC pic.twitter.com/WjFIqv4sD3
And Letitia Wright, having been roasted on Twitter for posting an anti-vaxx video, has deleted all of her social media accounts.
But it’s one thing to have a Black Panther actress spreading anti-vaxx bullshit, it’s another thing entirely for the U.S Senate to do so. And yet, here we are.
Which I guess isn’t entirely surprising, in the wake of the news that President Warp Speed’s administration declined Pfizer’s offer back in the later for extra vaccines when they are available. Now Pfizer has commitments to other countries and might not be able to get back to us until June.
Disney is suspending their cruises until March at the earliest — and even then …
The Voice contestant Ryan Gallagher disputes the allegations that he violated COVID protocols which led to his removal from the show.
Young Sheldon had to shut down production after a positive test.
All Other TV News
Warner Brothers and Roku still haven’t struck a deal to make HBO Max available on the streaming devices, and both sides think they have the advantage: Warner Brothers thinks Roku will want to sell their devices during the holidays, while Roku thinks that its user base is so large Warner Brothers will have to cave first if they want to increase their HBO Max subscriber base. It’s a regular Mexican standoff, guys.
Meanwhile, if you were hoping to catch Wonder Woman: 1984 for free with an HBO Max trial, you’re shit out of luck, my friend.
You think you’re sooooooo funny, Family Guy.
hey @astros, how much you payin' oscar the grouch? pic.twitter.com/HTMwAzJD9T— Family Guy (@FamilyGuyonFOX) December 7, 2020
It’s been a hard year for everyone, including news broadcasters who suddenly had to start broadcasting from their living rooms, making the opportunities for bloopers — always high on a live broadcast — exponentially higher. Here are 30 minutes of some of the best from 2020:
Netflix has heard your concern about The Crown, royal family loyalists, and they’re like, “Nah.”
Now you don’t have to subscribe to Disney+!
Literally no one asked for a sexy KFC “mini-movie” about Col. Sanders starring Mario Lopez. NO ONE.
Glee cast members have launched a GoFundMe for Alexandria House, a non-profit that Naya Rivera supported to honor her memory.
The Emmys are merging Variety Talk and Variety Sketch Series into one category: Outstanding Variety Series. This means that for the first time Saturday Night Live will be up against shows like The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. There just aren’t enough sketch shows to compete against SNL. So get ready to lose to John Oliver along with everyone else, Lorne!
Speaking of Oliver, Last Week Tonight remains on hiatus until February, but here’s a new clip to help you get through:
LAST MAN STANDING IS BLOWING MY MIND, MAN.
I know I keep posting Alex Trebek stuff, but this is a lovely and appropriate tribute by Google.
- Big Sky has been given an additional six episodes on ABC.
- Penn & Teller: Fool Us and World’s Funniest Animals have been renewed for an eighth and second season respectively at The CW.
- Feel Good has been renewed for a second and final season on Netflix.
- The Family Business has been renewed for a third season at BET+.
- Nice White Parents is being adapted into a TV series for HBO by Issa Rae and Adam McKay.
- Comic book Naomi is being adapted for TV by Ava DuVernay and Jill Blankenship.
- Once Upon a Time in Aztlan, a drama starring and produced by George Lopez, has landed at Amazon.
- No Stone Unturned, a forensic drama, is being developed at NBC.
- The A Word is being developed at NBC.
- A six-part documentary series about the world’s best surfers has been ordered at Apple TV+.
- Heartbreak High is being rebooted at Netflix.
- British horror film The Power has been picked up at Shudder.
- Margot Robbie’s production company LuckyChap Entertainment has signed a first-look deal with Amazon.
- Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright have been fired from Vanderpump Rules on Bravo.
- Samuel L. Jackson, Lisa Kudrow, Leslie Jones, Joe Keery, Kumail Nanjiani, Tracey Ullman, Cristin Milioti, and Samson Kayo will star in Death to 2020 on Netflix.
- Mahershala Ali, Jon Hamm, Djimon Hounsou, and Ezra Miller have joined the cast of Invincible on Amazon.
- Desmin Borges is joining This Country on Fox.
- Gabriela Flores and Matt Barr have joined the cast of Walker on The CW.
- Christian Borle and Michael Potts are joining Prodigal Son on Fox.
- Lewis Pullman, Noah Reid, Shaun Sipos, and Isabel Arraiza are joining Outer Range on Amazon.
- Adrianna Mitchell is joining the cast of Snowfall on FX.
- Chelsea Alden has joined Shameless on Showtime.
- Jericka Duncan and Adriana Diaz are the new anchors of CBS Weekend News.
Mark Your Calendar
- Death to 2020 debuts on Netflix soon.
- We Can Be Heroes will premiere on Netflix soon.
- Total Control will premiere on Sundance Now on December 17.
- Sweet Home will premiere on Netflix on December 18.
- Desus & Mero interview Barack Obama on December 13.
- Euphoria: F*ck Anyone Who’s Not A Sea Blob will premiere on HBO on January 24.
- The Real Housewives of Potomac will return on Bravo on December 13.
- Frozen in Time will premiere on Discovery+ on January 4.
- Six Degrees with Mike Rowe will premiere on Discovery+ on January 4.
- BattleBots: Bounty Hunters will premiere on Discovery+ on January 4.
- Home Town returns on HGTV on January 3.
- White House Christmas 2020 will air on HGTV on December 13.
- Framed by the Killer will premiere on Oxygen on January 15.
- Detention: The Series is now available on Netflix.
Hello friends, a Netflix series adapted from #返校Detention will be out today. More here https://t.co/2d8Gzuc62h— redcandlegames (@redcandlegames) December 5, 2020
Meanwhile, the studio has been busy working on our new game. Hopefully we can share more info with you soon!
David Lander, Best known as Squiggy on Laverne & Shirley
December 5, 2020
Thanks for all of the kind condolences on David Lander's passing. You know this is a loss shared by all of us, not just those who had the joy of knowing him. If he made you laugh, he was your friend, too. Peace.— Michael McKean (@MJMcKean) December 6, 2020
David REST SOUNDLY… you have earned your peace https://t.co/M5mEggRtYy— Henry Winkler (@hwinkler4real) December 5, 2020
Natalie Desselle-Reid, Actress who appeared in Eve, For Your Love, and many other TV series and movies
Whitney Collings, Star of Bad Girls Club
Pamela Tiffin, Film and Broadway actress
David Sheehan, Pioneering entertainment reporter
Nurses: This Canadian medical drama from the producers of The Rookie focuses on a team of nurses in a busy Toronto hospital. 9 p.m., NBC
A Suitable Boy: This BBC limited series follows four families in post-independence India, as one of the families searches for an acceptable match for their daughter. Series premiere. Acorn TV
Room 2806: The Accusation: A docuseries that follows the rape allegations a New York hotel made against French politician Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Though he was arrested, New York dropped the case after claiming the housekeeper lied to investigators, but Ms. Diallo who is originally from Guinea asserted the interpreters made errors. After the case was dropped, more women came forward claiming Strauss-Kahn had assaulted them, too. The case broke some nine years ago, well before the #MeToo movement, and it’s hard not to wonder if things might have shaken out differently in the current environment. Netflix
Idiocracy: The longer we go in the Trump era, the more this movie reveals layers. For instance: President Comacho is played as a ridiculous leader, but he at least 1. listens to advisors who he recognizes are smarter than him, and 2. respects the peaceful transfer of power and leaves office with little fuss. WE ARE LITERALLY LIVING IN DUMBER TIMES THAN IDIOCRACY. 7:12 HBO West
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Dolly Parton, Andrew Rannells, José Feliciano
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Nick Kroll, Jeremy O. Harris, Sam Hunt, Kaz Rodriguez
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Meryl Streep, Chris Stapleton
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Matthew McConaughey, Shawn Mendes
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Miley Cyrus
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Heather Graham
- Watch What Happens Live: Rachel Hargrove, Shane Coopersmith
|ABC||Monday Night Football
|Bob ♥ Abishola
|CW||Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Whose Line is it Anyway?
|Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|FOX||I Can See Your Voice
|Cosmos: Possible Worlds
One thought on “Well, now how is President Halfwit supposed to destroy democracy now that his comically incompetent lawyer is leaking the COVID?”
Lenny and Squiggy painted their toilet black so they would never have to clean it again.