It’s a Thursday! Which one? Who cares!
I don’t usually include TV ads here, but this is absolutely perfect:
December 14 can not arrive soon enough, kids.
Yesterday, from the White House President Chucklehead delivered a 46-minute speech on Facebook, which he called “the most important speech” of his Presidency. In reality, it was just 46 minutes of belly-aching, charts, and bullshittery. It was described by The Washington Post as an “attack on democracy,” “filled with lies” by The New York Times, and “detached from reality” by the Associated Press. I can not wait until this man can no longer use the iconography and symbolism of our country to prop up his nonsense.
Pres Trump in this 46 minute video he just released says this might be the most important speech he has ever given.
What's clear is that it might be one of his most dishonest speeches he's ever given. He's making baseless claims that courts, the AG & DHS have said didn't happen.
— Yamiche Alcindor (@Yamiche) December 2, 2020
Pres Trump, who reports say is looking at possibly pardoning himself and family members, has his eyes set on legal problems in NY: "I hear that the same people who failed to get me in Washington have sent every piece of information to NY so that they can try to get me there."
— Yamiche Alcindor (@Yamiche) December 2, 2020
You can watch it if you want to set 3/4 of an hour of your valuable time on fire, or you can watch Leslie Jones’ concise review:
This is FUCKING EMBARRASSING!! pic.twitter.com/8fszMT8pbm
— Leslie Jones 🦋 (@Lesdoggg) December 3, 2020
Also fucking embarrassing: this woman who is The Girl You Wish You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party as played by Victoria Jackson instead of Cecily Strong. Melissa Carone appeared with Rudy Giuliani at Michigan’s voter fraud hearing and she was so unhinged, even Rudy tried to pull her back a bit:
I thought Rudy Giuliani was crazy.
Then I thought that Trump's 46-minute tirade was insane.
— Colonel Hardstone (@Col_Hardstone) December 3, 2020
— BidenWin (@NewPrezz) December 3, 2020
And Carone wasn’t the only unhinged monster at the hearing:
“I think Chinese all look alike. How can you tell? If some Chow shows up, you can be anybody and you can vote.” -one of Rudy Giuliani’s witnesses yesterday insisting there must have been voter fraud in Michigan
Yes, it’s an actual quote.pic.twitter.com/nsM0Hc2LE7
— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) December 3, 2020
Over in Wisconsin, the state Supreme Court declined to hear President Shitshow’s campaign’s challenge to their election results. ~womp womp~
And down in Georgia, Lin Wood and Sidney Powell, two of the lunatics trying to overturn the election, urged Republican voters to not participate in the Senate runoff election next month. I mean, listen, I’m going to enjoy the GOP devouring each other for as long as I can, but methinks on December 15, once the electoral college votes Biden officially as the 46th President of the United States, these looneys will disappear, and Democrats will have to actually fight in this race. (But for now, this insanity is pretty delicious.)
"Too far! You're supposed to use conspiracy theories to undermine faith in democracy when we lose, not actually believe those conspiracy theories, follow them to their logical conclusion, and then say things that hurt Republicans as a result."
— Travis View (@travis_view) December 3, 2020
And if you’re looking for real voter fraud, look no further than this Florida lawyer who advocated that people move to Georgia for two months to vote in the Senate runoff, like he’s doing. This Mensa member is now being investigated.
“If that means changing your address for the next two months,so be it.I’m doing that. I’m moving to Georgia.”Our 6 investigation reveals deleted video-a FL attorney telling GOP members how to move to GA,vote in runoffs. It’s illegal.There’s more,& an investigation @wsbtv #gapol pic.twitter.com/or2PgWQrT1
— Nicole Carr (@NicoleCarrWSB) December 2, 2020
Crazy times, man.
Black Lives Matter
It was announced a few days ago that Entertainment Weekly‘s editor-in-chief had been fired but no reason was given. So I waited to post anything about it until it was cleared up: sexual harassment or racial discrimination? Because you know it was one or the other. And sure enough: racial discrimination.
Folake Olowofoyeku, the star of Bob ♥ Abishola says that agents urged her to change her name, which is the least surprising thing I’ve read all day. Hell, even her fictional TV name confuses my spellcheck every single time.
“The Oscars thing, people having issues with that, it’s insane,” Samberg said. “The parameters, if you look at them closely, you could have the whitest cast in the history of cinema and still very easily meet them by just doing a few roles behind the camera. People that have problems with it can f*ck off.”
Hasan Minhaj spoke some truth about Hollywood’s very low standards of attractiveness for White men, versus men of color. He’s looking at you, Dax Shepard.
Faizon Love is suing Universal for being excluded from the international film posters for Couples Retreat. The film came out 11 years ago.
CHET HAZE HAS TO STOP. TOM HANKS, COME GET YOUR IDIOT SON.
Ay yo Chet Hanks done pissed off Jamaicans and ain’t even sorry about it 😭 pic.twitter.com/NqdNeEQ9mS
— 𝒜𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 & 𝐹𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 (@ore_xoxo) December 3, 2020
The number of Americans who died of COVID yesterday hit an all-time high. It’s either 2,885 or maybe 2,833, depending on where you look. But in reality, the number is probably higher. Whatever it was, the number was appallingly high–higher than the number of Americans who died on 9/11.
But that’s not going to slow us down! In Chicago, a 300-person party was broken up; in Manhattan, 400 people gathered together, and the fucking State Department is planning on holding a 900-person holiday party. We’re so fucked.
But hey! Vaccines, right? Except law enforcement agencies are already warning that the mafia plans to steal stashes and other criminal organizations are planning on making fake vaccines, so that’s something new to worry about.
Facebook is promising to pull down mis- and disinformation about the vaccine. We’ll see how that goes.
This is going to shock you, so brace yourselves, but businesses that rent space at properties owned by the Trump Organization and Kushner Companies received millions in PPP loans when thousands and thousands of other small businesses who weren’t connected were stiffed.
The Mayor of Los Angeles has ordered people to stay home — except he did so in the most confusing way possible.
Roger Goodell wants you to know that playing football is perfectly safe even though it absolutely not and all the positive cases bouncing around in the NFL would belie that. Meanwhile, now that they are out of the Bubble, 48 NBA players have tested positive ahead of the new season.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hill’s Kyle Richards, Kathy Hilton, and Dorit Kemsley have all tested positive for COVID-19. Production has been suspended.
Three production members on Netflix’s Family Reunion have tested positive, but filming was not suspended.
HUGE: Warner Brothers is planning on releasing all of their 2021 on HBO Max before moving into theaters a month later. This includes: The Little Things, Judas and the Black Messiah, Tom & Jerry, Godzilla vs. Kong, Mortal Kombat, Those Who Wish Me Dead, The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, In The Heights, Space Jam: A New Legacy, The Suicide Squad, Reminiscence, Malignant, Dune, The Many Saints of Newark, King Richard, Cry Macho and Matrix 4.
All Other TV News
One of the best TV characters of 2020, Ted Lasso, was inspired by two of Robin Williams’ most memorable characters, according to Jason Sudeikis. (And while I could argue that Ted Lasso is reason enough to subscribe to Apple TV+, you might be overloaded with other streamers and unwilling to take on another. However, it’s definitely a reason to use a free sneak preview if one is available to you.)
More Undoing questions answered, this time by Lily Rabe. Spoilers, obviously.
And here’s a good piece on how The Undoing not only squandered an opportunity to discuss domestic abuse and violence in general, but actively made such violence sexy. I’m still pretty angry about this series, by the by.
Here’s some concept art for the dragons on House of the Dragon. Spoiler: they look like Game of Thrones dragons.
Quibi only lasted 8 months, but did you know there was a network that was alive for only a single month?
John Mulaney was investigated by the Secret Service after his SNL monologue in which he alluded to — but never mentioned by name — President Lump in comparison to Julius Caesar. He also is sorry he suggested that Joe Biden and President Covid were equivalent. Good.
Someone has been bitten by a big cat at Carole Baskin’s sanctuary. We’re never going to be done with these people, by the way.
OK, SO! The story is that The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills‘ Erika and Tom Girardi’s divorce might all just be a scam to protect financial assets. But for me, the REAL story is that Erika Jayne and I have something in common: we are both married to wh work on aviation cases. I mean, on opposite sides, BUT STILL. I HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH ERIKA JAYNE. We’re going to be best friends now.
Two of my favorite movies — if not my actual two favorite movies — are The Godfather, Parts 1 and 2 (I actually think Part 2 is the better film), but let me just tell you what no one has asked for: The Godfather, Part 4. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. And I know this is a movie story, not a TV story, but my blog, do what I want, etc.
- Texas 6 has been renewed at CBS All Access for a second season.
- DuckTales will end on DisneyXD after the third season.
- The Pope of Greenwich Village is being developed into a TV series.
- Danni Delgado, a legal dramedy, and The System, a social worker drama, are being developed at CBS.
- An Untitled Texas Medical Project is in the works at CBS.
- Candy, a true-crime drama starring Elisabeth Moss, has landed at Hulu.
- Women’s Studies, an hour-long dramedy, has been ordered at HBO Max.
- A series about fashion designer Cristóbal Balenciaga is being developed at ViacomCBS.
- Lockdown has been picked up at HBO Max.
- Motorheads is being developed into a TV series by IMDb.
- Memorial Drive: A Daughter’s Memoir is being turned into a TV series.
- Teenage Euthanasia, an animated series, has been ordered at Adult Swim.
- The Unlikely Murderer has been greenlit at Netflix.
- The 18-30 Stone Holiday has been greenlit at the UK’s Discovery network Quest Red.
- Julianna Margulies is joining The Morning Show on Apple TV+.
- Brandon Routh is joining ABC’s The Rookie.
- Hailee Steinfeld has joined Hawkeye on Disney+ as Kate Bishop.
- Piper Perabo, Mallory Jansen, and Kevin Daniels have joined The Big Leap on Fox.
- The Lord of the Rings series on Amazon has added 20 people to its cast. I am not going to list them all here, thanks.
- Gabrielle Dennis, Page Kennedy, Diamond Lyons, Khali Daniya-Renee Spraggins, Jermelle Simon, and Journey Christine have been cast in The Upshaws on Netflix.
- Rushi Kota is returning to Never Have I Ever on Netflix.
- Barrett Wilbert Weed is joining the cast of Bridge and Tunnel on Epix.
- Anya Taylor-Joy, Olivia Colman, and Helena Bonham Carter will star in BBC’s Cinderella.
- Jessica Paré has left SEAL Team on CBS but will be back to direct episodes.
Mark Your Calendars
- Discovery+ will launch on January 4 with 1,000 hours of programming, including a Zac Bagans investigation special, Chip and Joanna Gaines’ Fixer Upper: Welcome Home, and these original programs.
- The Euphoria special is available to stream now on HBO Max.
- The Walking Dead Holiday Special will stream on AMC+ on December 13.
- Sabrina returns on Netflix for its final season on December 31.
- Call Me Kat will premiere on Fox on January 3.
- The Masked Dancer will premiere on Fox on January 6.
- Lupin will debut on Netflix on January 8.
- Belle Collective will premiere on OWN on January 15.
- Kinderwood will debut on Noggin on December 3.
Hugh Keays-Byrne, Actor best known as Immortan Joe in Mad Max: Fury Road (and I didn’t realize he had played Toecutter in the original Mad Max film — cool)
RIP Hugh Keays-Byrne 😔 It’s amazing you were able to play an evil warlord so well cause you were such a kind, beautiful soul. You will be deeply missed my friend. pic.twitter.com/kXDhNs5jEU
— Charlize Theron (@CharlizeAfrica) December 2, 2020
Rafer Johnson, Olympian legend and the man who wrestled the gun our of Robert Kennedy’s assassin’s hand
Bruce Herschensohn, Radio and TV commentator and politico
Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special: I mean, come for the Mimi wackiness but stay for the song. You know which song. Apple TV+
Heaven’s Gate: The Cult of Cults: A look at this crazy-ass cult as told by former members and family members who lost loved ones. Premiere. HBO Max
The Hardy Boys: Detective teenagers! Series premiere. Hulu
Earth At Night in Color: Tom Hiddleston narrates this look at nocturnal animals. Series premiere. Apple TV+
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jason Bateman, Carrie Underwood
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Christopher Krebs, Aubrey Plaza
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bryan Cranston, Rufus Wainwright
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Zendaya, Diego Luna, Paris Jackson
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Madison LeCroy, Leva Bonaparte
|A Million Little Things
|Star Trek: Discovery
|CW||iHeartRadio Jingle Ball
|World’s Funniest Animals
|World’s Funniest Animals
|FOX||Thursday Night Football
|Law & Order Special Victims Unit||Dateline|