Pardon me?

Hi! It’s Wednesday!

Enjoy this short story (sound on):

Political Crap

Hoo boy, has it been a 24 hours.

Attorney General Bill Barr, and President Tyrant’s best lackey, told the Associated Press that he has “not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election.” You can imagine how well this was received in the bowels of Trumpworld: Bill Barr — THE MAN WHO SHUT DOWN THE MUELLER INVESTIGATION — is now being called a member of the “Deep State.”

Delicious.

There was a Michigan election fraud hearing yesterday, and I strongly encourage you to enjoy the entire thread below for a good laugh. Basically, the best evidence they have there was fraud is “it was hot in the vote-counting room” and “rhinestone BLM masks”:

And as the runway to steal this election runs out, the lunatic fringe that President Maniac surrounds himself with are becoming fringier — somehow.

Lin Wood, a lawyer working to flip the election, has called for martial law:

Sidney “The Kraken” Powell is calling for the electoral college vote and Biden’s inauguration to be “cancelled.”

Mike Flynn literally called for the Constitution to be suspended:

And another President House on Fire lawyer, Joe diGenova, called for Chris Krebs, the former head of CISA to be “drawn and quartered” and “shot.”

This obviously is not just insane rhetoric, but it’s also incredibly dangerous and people who are just doing their jobs and ensuring the security of this election are receiving death threats.

Gabriel Sterling, a Republican and Georgia’s voting system implementation manager, held a press conference yesterday, demanding that President Treason and Georgia senators Loeffler and Perdue condemn these violent actions. Please watch:

And then yesterday, a story broke that the Department of Justice is investigating a pay-for-pardons bribery scheme, according to some court documents that were unsealed by a judge yesterday. Now, the documents are HEAVILY redacted, so we basically know nothing about this case, including whether or not President Dingaling and/or those close to him were directly involved, or who tried to bribe the White House, but stay tuned. Frankly, this might be the single least-surprising thing to happen during this administration, because everything President Art of the Deal does is transactional. Also? This doesn’t scream innocent:

This story comes on the heels of one suggesting that President Felony is considering pardoning Rudy Giuliani, his paste-eating children, and even himself. Which, again, is definitely gross, but comes as absolutely no fucking surprise. Of course, this begs the question: what federal crimes did this clown car commit that they would need these preemptive pardons? And then there’s a question as to whether or not he can pardon himself which remains an untested one and the subject of a ton of debate among Constitutional scholars. (FoolishWatcher’s own legal counsel is pretty sure he can’t pardon himself, but won’t promise anything.)

Now, he can’t pardon himself or anyone else for state or local crimes, which is why I light a prayer candle devoted to New York State Attorney General Letitia James. (But, if I’m being completely honest with myself and now with you, dear reader, I don’t actually hold a lot of hope for seeing him [or his fail children or Rudy] ever arrested, especially if he goes through with his threat to run for President again. He would howl that any criminal prosecution was political retribution, and he has millions of followers who would see it as just that, no matter what horrible crimes he had committed. It ain’t fair, but if the past four years have taught me anything, it’s that life isn’t fair and this country is a FUCKING MESS.)

49 more days.

Going Viral

The United Kingdom has approved the Pfizer vaccine and will begin rolling it out next week. This is great news, and the first concrete step towards bringing this nightmare to an end.

And over on this side of the pond, the CDC is making their own suggestions for when vaccines become available (despite the White House’s refusal to offer guidance to the States):

However, we have to get through this winter and it’s going to be bad:

The CDC is going to shorten the recommended quarantine time from 14 days to 10.

AND GREAT NEWS, GUYS: Apparently, we can cure ourselves by wearing magic amulets and  visiting Stonehenge. (To be fair, this would actually work if while you were visiting Stonehenge and wearing your magic amulet, you picked up one of those U.K. vaccines.)

Hey, musical theater nerds: Dr. Fauci says that with widespread vaccine use, Broadway could reopen by next fall.

“Pandemic” is Dictionary.com’s word of the year. GEE, WHY?

Brad Parscale thinks if President Narcissist had shown some empathy on the COVID issue instead of focusing entirely on the economy, he would have won in a landslide. LOL, I KNOW, RIGHT?

Rosie Perez contracted COVID-19 while shooting The Flight Attendant back in December.

Ryan Gallagher was cut from The Voice after he violated the show’s COVID-19 protocols. No further explanation was given, but it should have been.

The Daytime Emmys is going to remain virtual next year, vaccine or no vaccine, and you know what? Why not. It probably was a money-saver for an event that is losing money every year.

All American is not going to write the pandemic into its story this season, but don’t be expecting any more big high school party scenes.

All Other TV News

Netflix has changed all of Elliot Page’s credits to update his name and announced that he will continue to play Vanya Hargreeves on Umbrella Academy.

Go here for more outpouring of support and love for Elliot Page.

Discovery (Discovery Channel, TLC, Food Network, and HGTV) is going to get into the streaming platform business with Discovery +, which, I mean, of course they are. I know it feels like there are too many streamers, but honestly, this is the future of television. It’s a matter of time before cable ends, so networks need to find some way to survive in a streaming world. Look for A&E networks (A&E, History, Lifetime, FYI, Vice) to do this soon, too.

Here are 12 facts about The Young and the Restless in celebration of hitting their 12,000th episode yesterday.

People are VERY MAD about James Corden’s being cast as a gay man in The Prom on Netflix.

James O’Keefe, the lunatic behind Project Veritas, crashed a CNN editorial call, and now the cops are getting involved. Why isn’t this idiot already in prison?

Hollywood would like to take credit for Stacey Abrams’ hard work turning Georgia purple. NOPE. SIT DOWN.

Stephen Colbert has vertigo. Be careful, Stephen Colbert!

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Gordon Ramsay’s American Road Trip will debut on Fox on January 5.

  • Nancy Drew returns on The CW on January 20.

  • Run the World premieres on Starz soon.

  • Home for Christmas returns on Netflix on December 18.

  • Homeschool Musical: Class of 2020 will premiere on HBO Max on December 17.

  • Song Exploder: Vol. 2 will premiere on Netflix on December 15.

  • Little Women: Atlanta returns on Lifetime on January 22.

  • How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding will premiere on Netflix on December 16.

  • Escena en Blanco y Negro debuts on Amazon on December 15.

R.I.P.

Pat Patterson, WWE Hall of Famer and first openly gay wrestling superstar

WATCH THIS

The 88th Annual Christmas in Rockefeller Center: TURN ON THE TREE. WE NEED THE TREE. 7 p.m., NBC

Christmas Spectacular Starring the Radio City Rockettes: MORE KICKING. 9 p.m., NBC

Baby God: A documentary about fertility doctor Dr. Quincy Fortier who used his own sperm to impregnate his patients without their knowledge.  8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jamie Dornan, Joe Manganiello, Phoebe Bridgers
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Kate Winslet, Michael Eric Dyson
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bad Bunny
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: George Clooney, Amanda Seyfried, Tones and I
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Watch What Happens Live: Kelly Dodd, Whitney Rose

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)
American Housewife
(new)
The Conners
(new)
black-ish
(new)
For Life
(new)
CBS The Amazing Race
(new)
SEAL Team
(new)
CW Devils
(new)
Coroner
(new)
Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)
News/Local
NBC 88th Annual Christmas in Rockefeller Center
(new)
Christmas Spectacular Starring the Radio City Rockettes
(new)

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