Welcome to your new nightmare.

It’s Friday which means another week down and three more to go until Election Day. Again: vote in person and early if you can, and if you’re mailing in your vote: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? PUT A STAMP ON THAT SUCKER AND DROP IT OFF. The more votes we can get in before November 3, the fewer votes that spray-painted goon can contest.

We have an update on the pandemic from our favorite time traveler:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Going Viral

Grey’s Anatomy and Station 19 pay tribute to essential workers in their first promo of the season:

Jack White will be Saturday Night Live‘s musical guest after that dum-dum Morgan Wallen had to drop out.

Jodie Whitaker says Doctor Who is in preparation for production later in the year.

Netflix’s Vikings: Valhalla has resumed production after a number of false positives.

Pixar’s next movie, Soul, is now going to debut on Disney+ on Christmas Day, instead of waiting for movie theaters to return.

Meanwhile, the National Association of Theater Owners is asking Americans to write letters to Congress, begging them to help save the movie theater business. And I’m deeply sympathetic to this cause, as I am to any industry that has been hard hit by this virus. But, as this piece suggests, NATO kinda put themselves in this position by being weirdly rigid about things like release dates and just how important they are to culture in general.

Speaking of industries I’m sympathetic towards: Broadway. (And I hate Broadway musicals!)

And WarnerMedia is looking at another round of layoffs thanks to the virus.

But if any of these industries — or Americans — are expecting another stimulus package before the election, they’re shit out of luck. It ain’t gonna happen.

Political Crap

You know what? It’s been a week. So I’m going to leave you one serious post and then give you some laffs, because Jesus Christ, I can’t take anymore.

In this very interesting piece, the writer compares Fox News to serialized dramas like Lost, explaining the network’s appeal is in its web of conspiracies and characters and the narratives the network creates for them. It’s really insightful for those of us who have relatives completely addicted to this shit.

Related to the above, I encourage you to read this funny but also infuriating Twitter thread by Molly McKew, a Russian interference expert and writer who watched and live-tweeted Tucker Carlson’s and Sean Hannity’s shows last night. Things neither show discussed until President CoughsALot called in to Hannity: a right-wing terrorist group’s plot to kidnap a sitting Governor, and COVID-19 (and when President Grand Wizard did discuss Governor Whitmer, it was to attack her for being “ungrateful”). They didn’t discuss either story — the two biggest stories of the day — because they didn’t fit the narrative they need to construct.

But Laura Ingraham (who’s show McKew could not make herself watch because ENOUGH) did mention Whitmer only to claim that the men who were arrested in the plot against her look like “anarchists” and not right-wingers, and then goes on to blame the Black Lives Matter protestors, somehow, to this violent plot. I should point out, Black Lives Matter and the protestors did not make plans to kidnap and execute anyone:

Anyway. Enjoy these videos of President Used Car Salesman:

All Other TV News

We need to talk about this new online gambling site ad which features John Goodman as a talking fingertip:

I have not been so traumatized since this Kerasal ad that featured a woman who had feet for hands:

But at least the women who had feet for hands wasn’t a well-respected actress with multiple Emmy, Golden Globes, and Screen Actors Guild nominations who is currently leading the cast of a popular network show. I have so many questions for John Goodman, namely: WHAT IS GOING ON, JOHN GOODMAN? WHO TALKED YOU INTO THIS? DO YOU OWE SOMEONE MONEY? ARE THEY BLACKMAILING YOU? AND WHY A TALKING FINGERTIP? DID YOU THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOU SAW THE SCRIPT? AND WHO’S IDEA WAS THIS TO BEGIN WITH? HOW MANY ADULTS HAD TO SIGN OFF ON THIS BEFORE IT WAS MADE? AND HOW MANY ADULTS HAD TO SAY, “Yep, looks great, let’s send this to the networks” WHEN THEY SAW YOUR CGI’D FINGERTIP FACE IN ACTION? WHY, JUST WHY?

(By the way: do not go to YouTube and search “Kerasal feet for hands.” Just … trust me.)

And to cleanse your brain of the nightmare fuel I’ve just poured all over it, here’s a woman in another new ad, talking into her purse like a lunatic:

And while we’re talking bad TV ad decisions, this 4-minute documentary about the ad campaign that literally bankrupted a national chain restaurant is fascinating:

The Bachelorette is coming for us next week, ready or not. If you don’t read RealitySteve, here’s what we know about this season so far.

Congratulations, John Oliver!

The Watchmen creator Alan Moore is back with a new movie and possibly TV show, called The Show — but he insists he is done with comics, and no, he does not have anything to say about Watchmen. (But boy, I wish he’d watch it.)

Roku channels are now available on Amazon Fire — which doesn’t make sense, except it does.

Your chance to get a free trial of Apple TV+ has been extended into February. (And I recommend you take advantage of it, if only to watch Ted Lasso, which is a charming delight.)

Mindy Kaling! Congratulations on your secret baby!


In Development

  • I Hate Suzie, British dramedy, has been picked up by HBO Max.
  • The Memory Police will be turned into a movie by Charlie Kaufman for Amazon.
  • Jensen and Daneel Ackles have created a production company, Chaos Machine Productions, and have signed an overall deal with Warner Bros. Television.
  • Battle: Freestyle, a sequel to the Norwegian dance feature Battle is in the works at Netflix.
  • James Patterson has signed a first-look deal with studio eOne, and an adaptation of his novel The Noise will be the first project produced.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The West Wing Reunion will debut on HBO Max on October 15.
  • The Stand will premiere on CBS All Access on December 17.
  • The Expanse will return on Amazon on December 16.
  • Invincible will premiere on Amazon in 2021.
  • American Selfie: One Nation Shoots Itself will debut on Showtime on October 23.
  • Leap of Faith will debut on Shudder on November 19.
  • Wolfwalkers will debut on Apple TV+ on December 11.
  • Alice in Borderland will premiere on Netflix on December 10.
  • El Cid will premiere on Amazon soon.
  • Superstore returns on October 29.


William “Bill” Bernstein, Co-founder of Orion Pictures

Tommy Rall, Actor and dancer

Whitey Ford, Legendary Yankees pitcher



The Haunting of Bly Manor: SIRI, CLEAR MY CALENDAR. Premiere. Netflix

The Right Stuff: I don’t know. The Right Stuff is a pretty perfect movie. But what do I know? Series premiere.  Disney+

Deaf U: A group of deaf and hearing-impaired students at Gallaudet University shares their stories in this docuseries. Premiere. Netflix

Room 104: Series finale. 10 p.m., HBO

Ghostwriter: Season premiere. Apple TV+


Saturday Night Live: Bill Burr and Jack White. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Cats: The most terrifying movie of the Halloween season arrives. 7 p.m., HBO

Eli Roth’s History of Horror: Season premiere. Shudder


Fear the Walking Dead: Morgan has to decide whether or not to help a desperate stranger in the season premiere. 8 p.m., AMC

Spanish Princess: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Starz

Top Gear: Season premiere. 7 p.m., BBC America

Late Night:

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC NBA Finals
CBS The Greatest #AtHome Videos
Undercover Boss
Blue Bloods
CW Masters of Illusion
Masters of Illusion
World’s Funniest Animals
World’s Funniest Animals
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC American Ninja Warrior

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
CBS FBI: Most Wanted
48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX PBA Bowling
NBC College Football
Saturday Night Live
(Bill Burr & Jack White)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC NBA Finals
Jimmy Kimmel Live!: Game Night
CBS 60 Minutes 60 Minutes Clueless
The CW Local Pandora
FOX The Simp-sons
Bob’s Burgers
The Simp-sons
Bless the Harts
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC Sunday Night Football

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