Brace yourself: the conventions are here.

It’s Monday, August 17th. I literally had no idea what day it was yesterday for at least the first four hours. True story.

Anyway, here are some sea lions:

Political Crap

Buckle in: the election kicks into high gear beginning today when The Democratic National Convention begins tonight — virtually. Check the listings below for more information on speakers and times. And be aware, both The Daily Show and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert are going live this week for convention coverage.

So let the completely predictable bullshit begin. Right on cue:

Limbaugh is a complete dirtbag, and I’m disappointed he was trending on Twitter for this and not  … other reasons.

And Newsweek is so sorry about publishing that super-racist birtherist op-ed. Ok.

Meanwhile, the GOP and Bill Barr are going to try to smear Joe Biden with some Ukranian nonsense. Brace yourselves for some dumb October surprise on that front.

Lorne Michaels loves gifs as much as I do.

oh no sarcastic kamala saturday night live maya rudolph

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are going to ABC News for their first joint interview. It will air on August 23.

Cardi B. in a conversation with Joe Biden: “I have a whole list of things that I want and I wish and I desire for our next president to do for us,” she told Biden, “but first things first, let me keep it above: I just want Trump out, you know what I’m saying? His mouth gets us in trouble so much. I don’t want to be lied to. We’re dealing with a pandemic right now, right, and I just want answers. I want to know when this is over. I want to go back to my job. I want to be able to go outside. I want to be able not to feel like I’m trapped in my home but I don’t want someone to lie to me and tell me that it’s ok to go outside, it’s ok not to wear a mask, that everything is going to be ok. No … Tell me the truth, the hard-core truth.”


Protestors showed up in droves outside Postmaster General Louis DeJoy’s house on Saturday WHICH IS AN INSANE THING TO BE HAPPENING, but what else is new about 2020?

Five Thirty Eight has come up with a very handy and visually appealing guide on how to vote. Check out your state here.

Going Viral

Vancouver is open for production to begin after a stalemate over testing issues was finally resolved with the unions. The Good Doctor was supposed to be the first show back in production in Canada, but the Canadian unions didn’t want to have to undergo testing as often as the Hollywood unions required, as the outbreak in British Columbia was being contained. BUT THEN, in the past eight days, cases there have been spiking there (see below re: Ryan Reynolds) and folks are worried about things going downhill in September. Supernatural only has to film two episodes, let’s cross our fingers that they finish them before everything shuts down again. The CW has just set October 8 as the return date for Supernatural, so FINGERS CROSSED.

Meanwhile, Tyler Perry has filmed — and I am not even kidding — 22 episodes of The Oval in 10 days. WHAT HOW WHAT

Food Network had to cut short the upcoming season of Christmas Cookie Challenge after a crew member tested positive. There will only be 6 episodes instead of 8. Had Tyler Perry been in charge, they would have 30 episodes in the can and would have ended filming a week early.

This Is Us will tackle the COVID story when it returns (whenever that is) and it sounds like the Black Lives Matter protests will find their way into the story, too.

There was supposed to be more footage in Black is King but then …

The Billboard Music Awards have been given a new broadcast date: October 14. It was originally scheduled to air in April.

Sharon Stone’s sister and brother-in-law are in the hospital with COVID, and she would like to talk to you about not voting for a man who couldn’t care less if you live or die.

Ryan Reynolds would also appreciate it if teens didn’t kill his mom (it’s actually pretty funny — give it a listen):

Emma Samms is recovering from COVID-19.

Tucker Carlson is waging a war on Dr. Fauci and the whole thing is insane. In an interview with the Washington Post on Friday, Dr. Fauci was asked about some of the insults Carlson has hurled at him over the course of this pandemic, and his response was: “I’m not concerned about what he says. It’s a little bit — I think you could say that when he does that, it triggers some of the crazies in society to start threatening me, actually threatening, which actually happens … I mean, who would have thought when I was in medical school doing things to save people’s lives, I’d have to be going around with a security detail? That’s really ridiculous.”

So then that night on his show, Carlson TRIPLED DOWN on Dr. Fauci. He used an old clip from April, early in the lockdown, in which when asked about economic hardships caused by the lockdown Dr. Fauci said, “I know it’s difficult but we’re having a lot of suffering, a lot of death. This is inconvenient from an economic and a personal standpoint, but we just have to do it.”

At no point did Carlson reveal that this was a quote from nearly five months ago. Instead, he went on a tirade about how Washington elites don’t care about real people’s economic suffering — never once mentioning that it was the Republican Senate who went home without voting to reup the the HEROES act that would continue the $600 payments for those unemployed at this time. He went on about Dr. Fauci:

“Remember when you respected that guy? Remember what he seemed like a legitimate public health expert?

“We do. He was on the show. We treated him like a physician. Now it’s clear Fauci is just another oily politician on an ego trip, just like the rest of them. In case you haven’t been to a supermarket recently, Fauci is featured on the cover of InStyle magazine, photographed by the pool.

“Man of science. What a buffoon. But Fauci isn’t suffering during the lockdown, he’s a loving it. Tony Fauci’s enjoying the hell out of himself.”

This is why Dr. Fauci has to have a security detail.

Tickets for Tenet go on sale this week. Apparently, theaters who want to show the movie have to not only abide by their state’s safety regulations, they also have to mandate that masks be work at all time — except when consuming concessions. OH. WELL, THAT’S A KINDA HUGE LOOPHOLE.

stephen colbert poporn this is going to be a disaster schadenfreude

Meanwhile, the Florida Film Festival, which is a thing, is going to take place in person in a theater while cases and deaths surge in that state. What could go wrong?

Another MLB series has been postponed because of a player testing positive. This time its the Reds-Pirates. Get it together, baseball.

Another downside to this goddamned virus (you know besides all the deaths and economic costs and our kids falling behind in their educations and the culture war and missing Black is King footage that has sprung up): justice for Harvey Weinstein continues to be delayed.

Cardi B. spent $100,000 on COVID testing to film the “WAP” video. Another weird little detail about the bizare times we live in, the tiger and leopard in the video had to be spliced into scenes with them, because big cats are succeptible to the virus.

All Other TV News

If you are a Verizon Unlimited customer, you will be getting a Disney+, ESPN+, and Hulu bundle for free with your plan.

Here’s why Peacock and HBO Max STILL aren’t on Roku and Amazon Fire (basically it comes down to who controls advertisements and user data).

Paramount+. How original.

Hey, here is the first episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks. For the rest of the episodes, you need to subscribe to CBS All Access, soon to be known as Paramount+.

Len Amato, president of HBO Films, Miniseries and Cinemax, is out after 13 years in a reshuffling of Warner Media. And John Redmann, the showrunner and executive producer of The Talk is stepping down after 10 years. (There must be a story there …)

Everything revealed about Justin Hartley and Chrishell Stause’s divorce on Netflix’s Selling Sunset. (For the cheating rumors, you have to go elsewhere.)

This is only tangentially related to TV, but apparently, Russell Crowe donated money to a restaurant that was destroyed in the Beirut explosion in Anthony Bourdain’s memory. A lovely, beautiful tribute.

A special prosecutor tasked with investigating the way the Cook County state’s attorney’s office handled the Jussie Smollett story found she did nothing illegal, but did abuse her discretion when she chose to drop the case.


In Development

  • Clueless, the TV series, is in development at Peacock.
  • Stormborn, a nature series narrated by Ewan McGregor is coming to Smithsonian Channel.
  • The Henna Artist is being developed into a TV series. Freida Pinto is producing and will star.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

The CW has announced its fall premiere dates:

  • Supernatural will return for its final five episodes on October 8. The series finale will air on November 19.
  • World’s Funniest Animals will premiere on September 18.
  • Pandora on October 4.
  • Swamp Thing on October 6.
  • Devils and season two of Coroner on October 7.
  • The Outpost on October 8.
  • Tell Me a Story season two on October 13.
  • Enola Holmes will debut on Netflix soon?

  • The Duchess debuts on Netflix on September 11.
  • Keeping Up with the Kardashians will return on E! on September 17.
  • Earth to Ned will stream on Disney+ on September 4.
  • This is Paris will debut on YouTube on September 14.
  • A Teacher debuts on Hulu soon.


Ash Christian, Emmy-winning producer, actor, and writer

Linda Manz, Actress known for her roles in Days of Heaven and The Wanderers

Duane Tatro, Composer on Love Boat and Dynasty among other TV series

Howell Binkley, Tony-winning lighting designer on Hamilton and Jersey Boys

Robert Trump, Younger brother of President Sociopath



Democratic National Convention: Senator Bernie Sanders, Senator Catherine Cortez Masto, Governor Andrew Cuomo, Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Representative Jim Clyburn, Convention Chairman Representative Bennie Thompson, Representative Gwen Moore, Former Governor John Kasich, Senator Doug Jones, Senator Amy Klobuchar, and Former First Lady Michelle Obama 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC

Amy Schumer Learns to Cook: Amy makes potstickers and ricotta pancakes in the season premiere. 9 p.m., Food Network

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and Solo: A Star Wars Story: Frankly surprised these haven’t shelved away on Disney+ yet … 3:30 p.m., TNT

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Tiffany Haddish, Jurnee Smollett, Orville Peck, Shania Twain
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Jason Sudeikis, Robert Costa, Thomas Land
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Susan Rice, Sheryl Crow
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bryan Cranston, Declan McKenna
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Reese Witherspoon, guest host Kerry Washington
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Holey Moley II: The Sequel
To Tell the Truth
The Democratic National Convention
CBS The Neighbor-hood
Bob Hearts Abishola
All Rise
The Democratic National Convention
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Try This At Home Too
FOX 9-1-1
9-1-1: Lone Star
NBC American Ninja Warrior
The Democratic National Convention

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