Happy 19th Amendment Day! Celebrate by making a plan to vote!

Political Crap

HAPPY 19TH AMENDMENT DAY! 100 years ago today the 19th Amendment was ratified to the U.S. Constitution, prohibiting the states and the U.S. government from denying the right to vote based on gender. And I CAN NOT WAIT to use that right again in a couple of months.

That said, it is important to remember that it took much longer for women of color to be granted the same right, and that the fight to prevent them from voting continues afoot.

Meanwhile, President Misogynist has announced that he is going to posthumously pardon Susan B. Anthony for voting illegally. I mean, OK.

One woman who I’m sure is unimpressed: Michelle Obama, who tore President Incompetent to shreds at the DNC last night, pointing out the obvious — he’s not fit to lead. You should watch the whole thing, it’s a master class.

“Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country. He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head. He cannot meet this moment. He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us. It is what it is.”

President Fragility obviously did not take it well, calling the speech “divisive,” claiming that he’s only in the White House because of the Obamas (which isn’t entirely wrong — the racist backlash to having a Black president certainly contributed to President Klanrobe’s election), and mocking her for taping the speech, and, in an amazing self-own, criticizing her for getting the number of COVID deaths wrong:

He also melted down on Twitter, the least surprising thing ever. He accuses President Obama of treason in one of them before sarcastically thanking Michelle for her kind words, so you KNOW he was super pissed. Good.

Other standouts from last night include Kristin Urquiza, a woman who’s President Sociopath-supporting father died of COVID-19 and confessed to her before he passed away that he felt betrayed.

And George Floyd’s family lead a moment of silence for George and “the many other souls” that have been “lost to hate and injustice.”

Meanwhile, the Republicans are planning next week’s festivities:

#MeToo

Heads rolled at The Ellen DeGeneres Show: executive producers Ed Glavin and Kevin Leman, and co-executive producer Jonathan Norman were all fired yesterday in the wake of toxic workplace allegations. Additionally, DJ tWitch ha been elevated to co-executive producer of the show. Good. All good things for tWitch, please.

Meanwhile, Anne Heche had some things to say about the whole mess: “If I’m standing someplace and I don’t like what’s going on there and I stay there, it’s my fault. So what are the actions that got me there and why can’t I get out of it easily if that’s not something that I want to be engaged in? Ellen is standing where she walks, and that is hers to continue that journey.”

The NBCUniversal Vice Chair, Ron Meyers, has quit after it was revealed he was involved in an extortion attempt. Apparently, it had something to do with an affair he had with actress Charlotte Kirk, who was the woman responsible for Warner Bros. chief Kevin Tsujihara having to resign. For an actress I’ve never heard of, she’s pretty damn powerful.

Rose McGowan has accused Sideways and The Descendents director Alexander Payne of sexual misconduct when she was 15 years old.

Surprise, surprise. R. Kelly’s manager Donnell Russell has been charged with calling in a threat to shoot up the movie theater that was screening Surviving R. Kelly.

Drake Bell is denying allegations of physical and emotional abuse made by his ex-girlfriend.

Cuba Gooding Jr. has been sued for raping a woman in 2013. In his other case, Cuba Gooding Jr.’s lawyer suggested in a pretrial hearing in his sexual assault case that small-breasted women be crazy. Good luck with that line of argument, counselor.

Hey, you know whose opinion on “WAP” in particular, or women performing sexually-explicit songs in general I do not want to hear? Accused rapist, Cee Lo Green.

Singer Sun Kil Moon, also known as Mark Kozelek, has been accused of sexual assault by multiple women. His upcoming UK tour has been canceled.

Oh, Alamo Drafthouse. Come on.

Hey, y’all, Dan Harmon addressed and apologized for this tasteless joke years ago. Of course, explaining that to Qanoners is a lost cause.

During the nights Surviving Jeffrey Epstein aired on Lifetime, calls to RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline increased some 34%. The National Sexual Assault Hotline is 800-656-4673. You can also visit online.rainn.org.

Finally, some good news: Zack Snyder is replacing Chris D’Elia with Tig Notaro in his upcoming movie, Army of the Dead.

Going Viral

Let’s talk about going to the movies during the pandemic. Don’t do it. Yes, I know movie theaters are reopening this week. Alamo Drafthouse just announced they are reopening, and 8 AMC theaters are going to open right here in my hometown. And I hardly blame the theater owners being anxious to get their businesses back up and running again. I get it.

But aside from an indoor concert, or honestly, bars, I can’t think of a commercial environment more conducive to catching this thing. You’re sitting in a closed box with no ventilation with a bunch of other people who will not be wearing masks so as to be able to eat their popcorn and drink their 48-ounce Cokes, sitting in seats that other strangers had just been sitting in? ARE YOU CRAZY IN THE HEAD? And then to reopen theaters just as we are sending kids back into classrooms and college students back to school? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

Just release Tenet on VOD. It’ll be fine. You can screen it in theaters once this thing goes away. (By the way, thank you, New Jersey and New York; y’all get it. Maybe because you lost so many of your citizens to this virus.)

Speaking of sending college students back: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill moved all classes online after only one week when they experienced a spike in cases, with 177 students in isolation and over another 300 in quarantine. The university newspaper called it a “clusterfuck,” and they ain’t wrong.

OH COOL, the MyPillow guy has some new miracle cure he’s trying to sell to President Snake Oil. It is untested and potentially even toxic. Anderson Cooper is not having it:

The Camila Cabello film Cinderella has begun filming again in London.

And Miss Willoughby and the Haunted Bookshop finished filming in the UK. Star Kelsey Grammer scolded SAG-AFTRA to get back to work already.

The Witcher has begun filming again in the UK. As has Call the Midwife.

Here in the U.S., The Conners has begun production and taping will start this week. It’s the first comedy that has returned to filming.

For All Mankind has also returned to production on the second season.

A reboot of Leverage has been filming for the past two weeks in New Orleans.

Seth Meyers will return to his studio next week (without an audience, obviously).

“How Will ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Work Post-COVID?” Nevermind what the article says, let’s talk about this hed. WE ARE NOT POST-COVID. WE ARE COVID.

All Other TV News

Dana Terrace, the creator of The Owl House‘s confirmed that the lead character, Luz Noceda, is bisexual, making her Disney’s first bisexual character.

Tyler Perry will be the recipient of 2020 Governors Award from the Television Academy. I mean, making 22 episodes of television in two weeks during a pandemic is certainly worth some sort of acknowledgment.

Kyle MacLachlan thinks Dune should be a series, not a movie, and he’s not wrong.

The Game of Thrones finale also disappointed Tywin. REMAKE THE FINALE.

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Dancing With the Stars is returning on ABC on September 14.
  • Utopia will debut on Amazon on September 25. It looks wild.
  • Chef’s Table: BBQ will premiere on Netflix on September 2, and this one hits right in the feels.
  • The Binge will premiere on Hulu on August 28. (HINT: It’s a spoof of The Purge, get it?)
  • Coastal Elites will debut on HBO on September 12.
  • Reno 911 returns on Quibi on August 24.
  • Departure will debut on Peacock on September 17.
  • Becoming streams on Disney+ on September 18.
  • Cuties will debut on Netflix on September 9.

WATCH THIS

Democratic National Convention: Former Acting US Attorney General Sally Yates, Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, Former Secretary of State John Kerry, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Representative Lisa Blunt Rochester, Former President Bill Clinton, and Former Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC

Dead Pixels: This British comedy follows a trio of friends obsessed with an online video game. Series premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

I Quit: This new docuseries follows six entrepreneurs as they quit their 9-to-5 jobs to follow their dreams of starting their own businesses. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Discovery

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Hugh Jackman, Lili Reinhart, Buju Banton
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Russell Crowe, Patton Oswalt, the Lemon Twigs, Thomas Land
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Regina Spektor
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jeremy Zucker
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Stacey Abrams, Chloe x Halle, guest host Kerry Washington
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Modern Family
(repeat)
Modern Family
(repeat)
What Would You Do?
(new)
Democratic National Convention
CBS NCIS
(repeat)
FBI
(repeat)
Democratic National Convention
CW Dead Pixels
(new)
<Whose Line Is It Anyway?
(repeat)
<Tell Me a Story
(new)
Local
FOX Hell’s Kitchen
(repeat)
Prodigal Son
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent
(new)
Democratic National Convention

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