We are 90 days away from Election Day, which according to most predictions will be a shitshow. According to some polls, among people who plan to vote by mail, Joe Biden has a healthy lead. However, among people who plan to vote in person, President Brundlefly has a significant lead:
According to a new Emerson poll, of those who plan to vote in person, Trump leads 65-32. Biden leads with those who intend to vote by mail, 76-20. Trump's strategy thus writes itself.
— Jerry Taylor (@jerry_jtaylor) August 4, 2020
President Gollum knows this, which is why he’s been screaming about mail-in voting (even though that’s how he voted) and suing Democratic-led states that are trying to give their citizens a safe option for voting DURING A DEADLY GLOBAL PANDEMIC.
And if all that isn’t bad enough, he’s put Louis DeJoy, a Republican donor who just happens to be personally heavily invested in UPS, in charge of the Post Office. In recent weeks DeJoy has put into place a number of measures that have significantly slowed mail delivery in a move some are concerned is ultimately designed to hamper mail-in voting:
DeJoy, a North Carolina logistics executive who donated more than $2 million to GOP political committees in the past four years, approved changes that took effect July 13 that the agency said were aimed at cutting costs for the debt-laden mail service. They included prohibiting overtime pay, shutting down sorting machines early and requiring letter carriers to leave mail behind when necessary to avoid extra trips or late delivery on routes. Postal Service memos detail ‘difficult’ changes, including slower mail delivery
The new policies have resulted in at least a two-day delay in scattered parts of the country, even for express mail, according to multiple postal workers and union leaders. Letter carriers are manually sorting more mail, adding to the delivery time. Bins of mail ready for delivery are sitting in post offices because of scheduling and route changes. And without the ability to work overtime, workers say the logjam is worsening without an end in sight.
The GOP has been trying to privatize the post office for decades and in this specific moment, during an election taking place during a deadly virus which will increase the number of mail-in ballots, an election that by all measures they will lose if the vote is counted in its entirety, they’ve found sufficient motivation to finally do everything they can to kill off the post office once and for all.
And make no mistake, if President Stroke Event claims victory based on in-person voting on Election Day but absentee and mail-in ballots turn that victory to Joe Biden’s favor, this will turn into an ugly and protracted fight.
Well, this is a good catch. All the swing states—with the exception of NC—will NOT count ballots that arrive after Election Day, even if they are postmarked in time and the lateness is not the fault of the voter. https://t.co/09vnJ2o2Bb
— Amanda Carpenter (@amandacarpenter) August 5, 2020
THIS IS NOT GOOD.
However, there are some things we can all do as voters to make sure we don’t have another Bush v. Gore (but much much worse) on our hands:
STEP ONE: Go to Vote.org to confirm you are registered to vote (these fuckers are purging voter rolls, so even if you think you are registered, it is not a given), or to register to vote. Ideally, you’d also confirm you are registered on your state’s election site. Here in Texas, that site is VoteTexas.gov.
STEP TWO: Request a ballot by mail if you are eligible. You should be able to find an application on your state’s election site.
STEP THREE: Investigate whether your state has Early Voting. If you’re not comfortable voting by mail because of the fuckery happening with the post office, you might be able to vote ahead of Election Day when the lines will be shorter. Here in Texas, early voting begins on October 19. We are still three months away from the election, so polling sites might not be available yet (they aren’t here in Harris County) but you should check your county’s election site for locations as we get closer to the election. HarrisVotes.com is our county’s site, fellow Houstonians.
STEP FOUR: Investigate ballot drop-off locations. If you want to avoid potential crowds with in-person voting, early or otherwise, or if you want to confirm your ballot is received because you are worried about post office fuckery, you have another option: request a ballot by mail, and then drop it off in person at the appropriate location. In the most recent run-off election in July here in Houston, Harris County opened up 11 drop-off locations where people could return their ballots. Though they have not confirmed drop-off locations for November’s elections, I anticipate there will be as many if not more places where voters can bring in their ballot in person. Here in Texas, the voter themselves has to present the ballot with a valid ID. Check your local laws, but dropping off a mail-in ballot might be the safest option for many voters.
Make a plan, take some proactive steps, and let’s make sure these assholes don’t steal the election out from under us.
OH! And while I have you busy doing shit, if you have not already, please go to census.gov and fill out the census. These fuckers are trying to shut down the census a month early, too, because of course they are. BE COUNTED.
In news that I didn’t realize was news: Joe Biden will not be accepting the nomination of the Democratic party in Minneapolis.
Mulan is going to stream on Disney+ on September 4, but it’s gonna cost you $29.99 to watch it. The movie is also going to be released in theaters where they are open, but theater owners are pissed.
As promised, S.W.A.T. went back into production yesterday. Hopefully, they’ll continue to test negative and serve as a model for other series.
Amazon’s The Bay went back into production somewhere in Los Angeles County.
That kiss on General Hospital was taped pre-COVID (well, technically, it was taped minutes before the entire set was cleared, but the point is this wasn’t new footage).
Coastal Elites, a socially-distanced comedy, will air on HBO on September 12.
This is super cute, but schools shouldn’t be reopening. We’re just going to be closing them back down in a month.
UConn is canceling their 2020 season. They won’t be the only ones.
Rafael Nadal is not going to play the U.S. Open. WAIT, THE U.S. OPEN HASN’T BEEN CANCELLED?
The New York Comedy Festival is canceled for 2020.
The Sarajevo Film Festival is going online. It was supposed to be the first big international festival to return in person.
There won’t be enough Clorox wipes until 2021, so plan accordingly.
It’s time Congress steps up to #SaveRestaurants by passing the RESTAURANTS Act. Share our new ad that is airing on cable news networks in DC and in select markets across the country and take action now at https://t.co/EI2cGelrpl.pic.twitter.com/bOjG9mpvVM
— Independent Restaurant Coalition (@IndpRestaurants) August 3, 2020
This does not have much to do with the virus — except that I can not think of a more horrible moment for something like this to happen — but please take a moment to think of the people of Beirut.
Black Lives Matter
Do Jurnee Smollett a favor: when it comes out, do not call Lovecraft Country “timely.” She makes a good point.
This will be my 3rd public apology to Gabrielle Union. If a 4th is needed, I will continue to apologize and push for reconciliation between the world, and more importantly, the culture I grew up in.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) August 1, 2020
The NCAA will allow student-athletes to wear social justice messages on their uniforms this season. Of course, whether anyone should be playing sports this season at all …
Tucker Carlson is out here questioning how George Floyd died, suggesting that we don’t actually know, despite the fact that the autopsy determined it was a homicide. But OK, Tucker. Keep blowing that dog whistle.
Meanwhile, in Aurora, Colorado, the same town where police killed Elijah McClain a young Black man who used to spend his time playing his violin for stray cats at the animal shelter, the police pulled over a Black mother and her four children while looking for a stolen vehicle. They forced all five to lie on their stomachs in a parking lot and handcuffed two of the children. The family was in a minivan. The vehicle they were searching for — was a motorcycle. Watch this video and then go ahead and tell me this would happen to a white family.
Aurora PD handcuff and held family at gunpoint. pic.twitter.com/GkTWKFZqkI
— Joshua Rodriguez (@Joshuajered) August 3, 2020
A drive-in summer series in Portland pulled a screening of Kindergarten Cop, after some called the movie pro-cop propaganda. They showed the John Lewis documentary Good Trouble instead. You’ll be shocked by this, but right-wing media lost their damn minds over this decision that had literally no effect on anyone but this local population.
The whole Ellen Degeneres Show debacle just keeps growing:
And former DJ Tony Okungbowa says that while he’s grateful for the experience …
While I am grateful for the opportunity it afforded me, I did experience and feel the toxicity of the environment and I stand with my former colleagues in their quest to create a healthier and more inclusive workplace as the show moves forward.
— Tony Okungbowa (@TONYOK) August 4, 2020
But … there are rumors that James Corden might take over the show. And Eric Andre is (jokingly?) openly campaigning to take it over with the support of thousands of fans.
— Eric Andre (@ericandre) August 4, 2020
— Eric Andre (@ericandre) August 4, 2020
Lea Thompson is joining in the chorus of famous people calling out the show:
True story. It is.
— Lea Thompson (@LeaKThompson) July 31, 2020
But hey, Ted Cruz has her back:
I don’t know Ellen, but this WaPo chronology makes the whole “scandal” look like an exercise in Cancel Culture trying to destroy her bc she wasn’t woke enough to throw Kevin Hart overboard or be hateful to George W Bush.
Today’s Left is deeply intolerant. https://t.co/Df1Wbu91wV
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) August 3, 2020
Alan Dershowitz is SO MAD at The Good Fight for calling him a shyster in a recent episode and is threatening to sue. LOL, if the shoe fits, you creepy perv.
Giovanni Cianci, music producer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, has been fired after a musician accused him of harassment and an attempt to assault her.
Ronni Hawk, star of the Disney Channel’s Stuck in the Middle, has been charged with domestic abuse for attacking her boyfriend.
All Other TV News
More Bachelorette craziness: So the producers have all but confirmed that Tayshia will replace Clare.
“The producers have told her that the season will still lead with Clare and her short-lived journey, and will show Clare falling in love with one of her suitors,” the insider shares. “Clare will then conclude her journey and announce that Tayshia is the lead.”
It sounds like Clare began communicating with one of the bachelors (Dale) before filming began: “Everyone is under the impression they began communicating before filming. He got her first impression rose and that was basically that,” the insider reveals. “She did not want to go through the motions of pretending to be interested in other men. She was done.” And it should be noted, on The Bachelorette, more often than not, they end up with the man they give the first impression rose to.
Y’all. The Netflix noise was originally supposed to be a goat bleating. Is there some way we can change our defaults to make this so?
One-third of Quibi subscribers say they are planning on dropping the service in the coming months. Maybe Quibi should consider launching a free, ad-supported version here the way they are in Australia and New Zealand?
Meanwhile, Disney+ has reached 57 million subscribers.
Ellen Pompeo admits that she stayed on with Grey’s Anatomy because she “made a decision to make money.” GIRL, DON’T APOLOGIZE FOR A THING.
- I Am Not Okay With This might have been renewed at Netflix.
- T.O.T.S. has been renewed for a second season on Discovery.
- Taskmaster has been pulled from The CW’s schedule after only one episode.
- A Who’s the Boss? sequel starring Tony Danza and Alyssa Milano is being developed.
- Ren & Stimpy is being rebooted at Comedy Central.
- Kings of America, a limited series about Walmart produced by Adam McKay and starring Amy Adams, is in the works at Netflix.
- Sorcerers is being developed into a series at AMC.
- A Mimic TV series is in the works.
- Seen & Heard, a documentary about Black television from Issa Rae, has been set at HBO.
- The Lady and the Dale, a documentary from the Duplass Brothers, is coming to HBO.
- Michelle Gomez is joining The Flight Attendant on HBO Max.
Mark Your Calendars
- Raised by Wolves will debut on HBO Max on September 3.
- Love Island will return on CBS on August 24. It’s filming in a quarantine bubble in ~checks notes~ Las Vegas. Huh. Well, good luck with all that.
- The Haves and Have Nots will return on OWN on August 25.
- Deaf U will premiere on Netflix on October 9.
- Mapleworth Murders will debut on Quibi on August 10.
- Teenage Badass will debut on digital on September 18.
- Women in Film Presents: Make It Work! will air on The CW on August 26.
- Danger Force minisodes will begin airing on Nickelodeon on August 8.
- Felipe Esparza: Malas Decisiones will debut on Netflix on September 1.
- Dodgeball Thunderdome will debut on Discovery on August 19.
Daisy Coleman, Subject of the Netflix documentary, Audrie & Daisy. Daisy and Audrie were survivors of rape, only to both take their own lives.
Pete Hamil, Legendary journalist and author
Big Brother: A cast of returning all-stars quarantine in the Big Brother house. This is either the exact TV show for our moment, or the WORST POSSIBLE REMINDER of what we are all going through. Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Coroner: Basically, this is a Canadian lady version of Quincy, M.E.. (Look it up, kids.) Series premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
True Life Presents: Quarantine Stories: Twenty-somethings are forced to move back in with their parents thanks to the virus. LISTEN, I AM LIVING IT, BUT FROM THE OTHER SIDE. Premiere. 8 p.m., MTV
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jamie Foxx, Tig Notaro, Black Pumas
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Seth Rogen, Gillian Jacobs, Thaddeus Dixon
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Jerry O’Connell, Meghan McCain, S.E. Cupp
|ABC||United We Fall
|Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
|CBS||Tough As Nails