It’s Thursday? How is it Thursday? Someone needs to explain to me how it became Thursday already. Thursday.
The thing about this video is that it is funny without sound, but it’s much much funnier with sound on. Also, you really do need to stay for the end. I identify with this pig:
These pigs ate fermented corn to be used for making moonshine.
One of them is hammered-drunk & passed-out completely.
Wait for it…😂🤣😭💀💀pic.twitter.com/q4k27SUUx0
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) May 13, 2020
The CW has announced their fall TV schedule and it will launch in that great fall month of … January. So, what do you have to look forward to in the fall — or as The CW is calling it, “The Fourth Quarter 2020”?
7-7:30 PM — Whose Line Is It Anyway?
7:30-8 PM — Whose Line Is It Anyway?
8-9 PM — Penn & Teller: Fool Us
7-8 PM — Swamp Thing
8-9 PM — Tell Me A Story
7-7:30 PM — Two Sentence Horror Stories
7:30-8 PM — Dead Pixels
8-19 PM — Coroner
7-8 PM — Supernatural
8-19 PM — The Outpost
7-7:30 PM — World’s Funniest Animals
So … basically … the fall schedule is the summer schedule + Supernatural‘s seven remaining episodes.
And, listen, this sucks, but it also makes sense. With production schedules still a mystery, networks are going to have to get creative, and that’s what The CW is doing, counting that they will be able to film the final two episodes of Supernatural sometime this summer or late fall, and picking up shows that have already been filmed, including Swamp Thing, which originally ran on DC Universe; Tell Me A Story, which originally streamed at CBS All Access; Dead Pixels which is a British Comedy; and Coroner, a drama that originally aired in Canada.
As for the “fall” schedule which is now a “January” schedule:
8-9 PM — All American
9-10 PM — Black Lightning
7-8 PM — The Flash
8-9 PM — SUPERMAN & LOIS
7-8 PM — Riverdale
8-9 PM — Nancy Drew
7-8 PM — WALKER
8-9 PM — Legacies
7-8 PM — Penn & Teller: Fool Us (New Night)
8-8:30 PM — Whose Line Is It Anyway? (New Night)
8:30-9 PM — Whose Line Is It Anyway? (New Night)
7-8 PM — Batwoman
8-9 PM — Charmed (New Night)
You’ll also note that there are only two new shows premiering in January, another effect of the virus. Without a formal pilot season, networks were unable to produce potential new series for their lineups.
For both schedules, there are no premiere dates, which is understandable. But hey! At least we sort of know when Supernatural is going to end! Kinda! Vaguely!
More shows that intend to address COVID-19 when they resume production: 9-1-1, Shameless, grown-ish, You, The Good Fight, and 9-1-1: Lone Star. It sounds like it might be addressed on Single Parents and Curb Your Enthusiasm, which — besides It’s Always Sunny, I can not think of a show better for this moment in time.
Lin-Manuel Miranda has joined the cast of the animated One Day at a Time episode. It will air on June 16.
HBO has launched an extension on Chrome that will allow you to watch HBO GO and HBO Now with your friends, a very useful tool during our lockdown. Speaking of, here are a bunch of streaming services that are still making themselves free for a trial period, in case you’re looking for something new to watch.
Top Gear and EastEnders are resuming production next month.
Impractical Jokers is launching a self-filmed spinoff called Dinner Party at truTV.
The ATX Festival, which will be virtual this year, has announced the first of their panels: The Bold Type, New Amsterdam, and P-Valley.
COVID-19 might be the thing that finally kills subscriber TV.
Poland is the most recent country to greenlight TV and film productions to resume. They host some Netflix, HBO Max, and Warner Brothers productions.
President Doesn’t Give a Fuck has now admitted that more than 100,000 people are going to die, moving the goalposts once again from 0 to 15 to 60,000, to now more than 100,000. But don’t worry, “it’s at the bottom of the scale.”
"We're gonna lose over 100,000 perhaps" — Trump just moved the goalposts *again* about the projected US coronavirus death toll pic.twitter.com/salNr4Ho1g
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 14, 2020
He also gave himself credit — in the third person — for being “right” about … something?
“Look, there's nothing good about what happened with the plague, okay? Especially the death. But the one thing is, it said, ‘Trump was right,’” the president, referring to himself in the third person, told host Maria Bartiromo of Fox Business. https://t.co/F1o0vYZsl5
— Meridith McGraw (@meridithmcgraw) May 14, 2020
He obviously also claimed that no one blames him for the unemployment numbers.
Credit and blame game.
BARTIROMO: But now, we’ve got 33 million people filing for unemployment. We’ve got 20 percent —
TRUMP: Nobody blames me for that.
— Annie Karni (@anniekarni) May 14, 2020
OK, I suppose we’ll see about that in November, you sociopath.
President Does Not Care About You also wants your kids to go back to school, against Dr. Fauci’s advice, and in spite of the fact that there appears to be a rare and mysterious inflammatory disease afflicting children associated with the virus. (You know, also leaving aside the part where the people who teach our children and work in the schools might contract the virus, or the part where kids might bring the virus home to you and whomever you live with. JUST SETTING ALL OF THAT ASIDE.)
And right now, whistleblower Dr. Rick Bright is testifying before congress that the vaccine will take longer than 12-18 months to produce, there will be grave consequences if we open too early, and the “window is closing to address this pandemic.”
Joel Kupperman, an original member of The Quiz Kids, a radio and television show, has died of “influenza-like illness (probably Covid-19)” according to his death certificate.
Dr. Joseph Fair, an NBC News/MSNBC science contributor, epidemiologist, and virologist, is in the hospital battling the virus.
Disney has set The New Mutants to open in theaters on August 28; and Ron’s Gone Wrong has been pushed back into later in 2021. We’ll see.
In fact, this Vanity Fair article lists the movies that are currently slated to open this summer. Again, we’ll see.
And Matrix 4 still hopes to begin filming in July. I guess we’ll see.
The Hollywood Bowl has canceled its summer season for the first time in 98 years.
Captain Sandy claims there’s no reason to be afraid of cruises. She obviously hasn’t watched this horror show:
NHK conducted an experiment to see how germs spread at a cruise buffet.
They applied fluorescent paint to the hands of 1 person and then had a group of 10 people dine.
In 30 min the paint had transferred to every individual and was on the faces of 3.
— Spoon & Tamago (@Johnny_suputama) May 8, 2020
Meanwhile, if this whole thing hasn’t been nightmarish enough for you, this Washington restaurant would like to help.
A Love & Hip Hop cast member has been charged with misusing COVID-19 funds. Y’all. Don’t do that.
Disney released this Olaf song — recorded from Josh Gad’s home — to help kids cope with separation from their friends and family and it is very sweet.
Over the past eight weeks, The Actors Fund has distributed $10.5 million to provide emergency financial assistance for performing arts and entertainment workers.
Guns ‘n’ Roses isn’t letting this thing go, and are releasing t-shirts that read “Live ‘n’ Let Die with COVID-45.” The proceeds will go to Recording Academy’s MusiCares.
The Mr. Show kids had a reunion to raise money for a charity that helps families facing poverty, and, mocking that completely tone-deaf celebrity “Imagine” video that came out in the early days of this, what … 6, 7 years ago? they recorded a group performance of Weird Al’s classic, “Eat It.” It’s pretty brilliant.
Y’ALL: The Prince estate is hosting a watch party of Prince and the Revolution’s 1985 performance from the Carrier Dome in Syracuse, N.Y. on YouTube beginning tonight. There will be a pre-show with the drummer Bobby Z, beginning at 6, with the concert following. It will be available to watch through Sunday.
And here are some other things to stream today.
All Other TV News
I want you to imagine Friends with this cast:
- Ross = Noah Wylie
- Phoebe = Kathy Griffin
- Monica = Nancy McKeon
- Joey = Hank Azaria
- Chandler = Craig Bierko
- Rachel = Elizabeth Berkeley
Just as we guessed, Riverdale will time jump in season five, skipping over the inconvenient college years that would see the main cast separated. It sounds like this season was originally planned to end with the time jump, but because the virus shut production down early, they had to end on that weird murder episode. It sounds like the show will go back and do the three episodes they originally planned for the end of this season. Stay tuned.
Jay Manuel is writing a tell-all book about his time on America’s Next Top Model and omg how could I have forgotten they did a blackface challenge in “cycle” 4? Y’ALL. IT WAS SO BAD. IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TODAY:
Wait wait wait. We must talk about this as well. Tyra was out here normalizing Blackface. How is this woman not cancelled 😂😂 #ANTM pic.twitter.com/EyyKh7gYWO
— Michaela Pratt (@kay_scott324) May 5, 2020
Michelle Williams, Amy Poehler, Niecy Nash, Natasha Lyonne, Tamron Hall, Naomi Watts, Angela Yee, Norah O’Donnell, Stephanie Beatriz, and Soledad O’Brien will be honored by the Alliance for Women in Media Foundation (AWMF) Gracie Awards this year.
Here is a very satisfying supercut of Fox shows making fun of Fox:
You guys: The Ozzie and Harriet house — which was Ozzie and Harriet’s ACTUAL HOUSE in the exterior shots of the home — is for sale. But get this: it also served as Ari Emmanuel’s house on Entourage, and Christopher Meloni is living there now — he’s the seller. AND IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH: It’s haunted. LET’S POOL OUR MONEY TOGETHER AND BUY IT.
Love is dead and seeking an emergency divorce. I guess bowls of wedding cigarettes don’t do the trick.
- The Purge and Treadstone have both been canceled at USA.
- Anne Rice’s The Mayfair Witches and Vampire Chronicles are coming to AMC and the 16-year-old wannabe Goth in me CAN. NOT. WAIT.
- Throttle, a novella co-written by Stephen King and his son Joe Hill is being turned into a movie at HBO Max.
- Netflix is working on a true-crime documentary about Dale Wayne Sigler.
- Ridley Scott’s Scott Free Productions has signed a first-look deal with Apple TV+.
- The Roots have signed a first-look deal with Universal TV.
- Barry Watson, Sonita Henry, Marvin ‘Krondon’ Jones III, Lilli Birdsell, Kate Cobb, Ezra Buzzington, and Joshua Burge will star in Into the Dark: The Current Occupant.
- Inde Navarrette is joining Superman & Lois on The CW.
Mark Your Calendars
- Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich will debut on Netflix on May 27.
- Scare Package will premiere on Shudder on June 8.
- The Go-Gos will premiere on Showtime on August 19.
- Love Fraud will debut on Showtime on August 30.
- Belushi will premiere on Showtime on September 27.
- Sleeping with Friends will premiere on YouTube on May 20.
Beckett Cypher, Melissa Etheridge’s 21-year-old son
How to Get Away With Murder: We have been promised answers to all of our questions in the series finale. We’ll see. 9 p.m., ABC
Station 19: Members of the crew rescue a doctor from Grey’s Anatomy in the season finale. 8 p.m., ABC
Katy Keene: Katy needs help making her plan work in the season finale. 7 p.m., The CW
Misery Index: Season premiere. 9:30 p.m., TBS
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Chris Evans, Mo Willems, Maroon 5
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Amy Schumer, Chris Fischer, Graham Norton
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: John Lithgow, Alison Roman
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: racy Morgan, Bazzi
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Stephen Curry
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Nikki Glaser
- Watch What Happens Live: Stephen Colbert
|ABC||Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
|How to Get Away With Murder
|Man With a Plan
|In the Dark
|FOX||Celebrity Watch Party
|NBC||Council of Dads
|Law & Order: SVU