And look! GOATS! This took place in San Jose, California and it is wonderful:
I’m dead 😂☠️ When I got back from the store all the goats had broken through the fence and were recking havoc on our street
This is the craziest thing to happen all quarantine 🐐🐐🐐 pic.twitter.com/Hc7XpuiBdT
— Zach Roelands (@zach_roelands) May 13, 2020
Full disclosure: this bit was on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Monday night but was buried by all the other crap out there. But I wanted to pull it out and bring it to your attention because it is as funny as it is accurate as it is disturbing. I present President Boss Baby having a tantrum when confronted with his coronavirus failures:
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) May 12, 2020
TV showrunners aren’t giving away all of their secrets, because some might still use stories that they weren’t able to film this season in upcoming seasons, but here’s what some of them had to say about how their shows were supposed to end before everything came to a grinding halt.
Good news for Jeopardy! fans: they have new episodes that will begin airing next week.
Once Upon a Quarantine, a Lifetime series that follows four couples as they film themselves in lockdown, will debut on May 20 in case you want to see other people be bored in their homes and fight with their kids over homeschooling, just for a refreshing change.
And Design at Your Door, a home design show that delivers “a box of specially curated décor elements” to homeowners who then record themselves follow experts’ decorating advice while filming themselves and the results will debut on HGTV on June 11.
Last Man Standing will address the coronavirus — if it’s renewed for season 9. (It will be renewed for season 9.)
NBC News is hosting a town hall on anti-Asian sentiment this afternoon. It will be available to stream on a number of services, including Peacock.
Los Angeles’ stay-at-home order has been extended for another three months, which will certainly make it difficult for TV and film productions to start back up (at least in L.A.).
Looking for a new face mask? You can get a disturbing one of your own face like Jimmy Kimmel below, or you can get one that celebrates your favorite show. I’m not lying, I would wear that Lil’ Sebastian one.
Surprise, surprise: Dr. Facui told senators that reopening too early could be catastrophic. Not that that idiot Rand Paul — WHO WENT SWIMMING IN THE SENATE POOL WHILE INFECTED — wanted to hear it.
Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson is attacking Dr. Facui, pointing out that he hasn’t been “elected” to anything, because YEP! That’s definitely how we determine who to trust with medical and scientific advice: the person the voters — who are overwhelmingly neither scientists nor doctors, choose. Guess this asshole doesn’t realize that the majority of — if not all — White House and Capitol advisors aren’t elected?
Tucker Carlson goes after Dr. Fauci and says he wasn’t elected pic.twitter.com/ncEqZq0d6R
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) May 13, 2020
Hey, Paul Manafort has been released from jail. Must be nice to be a politically-connected white guy right now.
Oh, and Jared Kushner isn’t ruling out the possibility that they will postpone the election. I mean, technically the White House CAN’T postpone the election — Congress determines when Election Day is, but precedent and the Constitution hasn’t stopped these assholes anytime in the past three and a half years, so why should they start now?
Nick Cordero, the Broadway actor who has BEEN THROUGH IT, woke from his coma. Here’s to hoping he has a speedy recovery.
Sumo wrestler Shobushi has died from complications from COVID-19.
Universal Orlando will reopen CityWalk on May 14. The park remains closed.
Solstice Studios intends to be the first with a new movie in the theaters: they announced the Russell Crowe thriller, Unhinged, will open in theaters on July 1. We’ll see.
Broadway’s Plaza Suite, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, and the Michael Jackson-themed show, MJ, have both been pushed back a year.
Ken Jennings and Elon Musk having a twitter fight is just not how I saw the future unfolding.
Melissa McCarthy, Ben Falcone, Nat Faxon, and Jim Rash are going to offer online acting and directing classes to raise money for the Groundlings.
Justin Baldoni’s studio has launched “The Six Feet Apart Experiment,” a film making competition challenging creatives in this moment, and hoping to raise awareness about cystic fibrosis.
New York City has broken a record! 58 days without a pedestrian death! Yay?
All Other TV News
Have you watched the choose-your-own-adventure Kimmy Schmidt yet? If not, then don’t click on this explanation of all the different endings; and do not click on this revelation of this dig at the Game of Thrones finale; and do not click on this explanation for how to get an extended version of the amazing theme song; and do not read this story about how Daniel Radcliffe thinks you should watch the series.
Believe it or not, there are storylines that are too dark even for The Walking Dead. This prison character’s entire arc was changed after producers decided they needed to lighten things up a bit. Of course, soon after they’d turn a child into a serial killer, so, you know.
Rick & Morty fans have made Solar Opposites the most-watched title on Hulu ever. Don’t mess with Rick & Morty fans, yo.
Here, the intimacy coordinator for Normal People discusses how she navigated the show’s explicit sex scenes. It’s very revealing! Pun intended!
- A Little Late with Lily Singh has been renewed for a second season on NBC.
- Forensic Files II has been renewed at HLN for two more episodes.
- Tyler Perry’s The Oval and Sistas have both been renewed at BET.
- American Housewife might have just been canceled:
— Daniel DiMaggio (@DDiMaggio) May 13, 2020
- Room 104 will end after season four on HBO.
- Your Place or Mine and The Cactus, two romantic comedies that will star Reese Witherspoon, have been ordered at Netflix.
- Kung Fu and Republic of Sarah have been ordered to series at The CW.
- A Head of the Class reboot has been ordered at HBO Max.
- The Custom of the Country is being turned into a series by Sofia Coppola at Apple TV+.
- A Center Stage series is in the works.
- Great Expectations is being turned into a series by Steven Knight, Ridley Scott and Tom Hardy for FX and BBC.
- PBS is developing a documentary about Marian Anderson.
- Irma Vep is being turned into a series.
- Alternatino is headed to Quibi.
- Sweet Tooth is being adapted into a series at Netflix.
- Netflix is making a narrative film about the 1999 U.S. Women’s Soccer team.
- The Dreyfus Affair: A Love Story is being turned into a series.
- The Dog House has been ordered at HBO Max.
- Katee Sackhoff is joining the cast of The Mandalorian.
- Common will appear on the reboot of Fraggle Rock: Rock On!
- Wolé Parks is joining Superman and Lois on The CW.
- Cameran Eubanks will not be returning to the cast of Southern Charm on Bravo.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Good Lord Bird will debut on Showtime on August 9 and it looks crazy good.
- Fuller House will return on Netflix for its final episodes on June 2.
- The Woods will premiere on Netflix on July 12.
- Ju-On Origins will premiere on Netflix on July 3.
- Monstrum will premiere on Shudder on May 14.
- Room 104 will return on HBO on July 24.
- Good Bones will return on HGTV on June 9.
- Small Town Throwdown will debut on Discovery on May 20.
- Summer Rush will debut on Food Network on June 4.
- Heartland Docs DVM will return on Nat Geo WILD on May 30.
- Search Party
- Doom Patrol
- Esme & Roy
- Adventure Time: Distant Lands — BMO
- Expecting Amy
- Close Enough
- The House of Ho
- Tig ‘n’ Seek
- The Dog House
- American Pickle
Carolyn Reidy, Simon & Schuster President and CEO
Survivor: The three-hour season finale. 7 p.m., CBS
The Goldbergs: Beverly schemes to make Adam prom king in the season finale. 7 p.m., ABC
Schooled: The love triangle continues, also something about prom. Season finale. 7:30 p.m., ABC
American Housewife: Anna-Kat is being bullied at school. Also, something about prom, because ABC is determined to remind everyone what they are missing out on. Season (series?) finale. 8 p.m., ABC
Single Parents: Annie and Will try to remember what happened between them in the season finale. 8:30 p.m., ABC
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: David Spade, Kathryn Hahn, the Killers
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Nick Kroll, Glenn Close
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hugh Laurie, Benjamin Gibbard
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Daisy Edgar-Jones, Paul Mescal, Leslie Odom Jr.
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Bill Murray
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Luke Wilson
- Watch What Happens Live: June Diane Raphael, Denise Richards
|CW||Penn & Teller: Fool Us
|FOX||The Masked Singer