Everything else is ending right now, so why not a few of your favorite shows?

Because everything is shutting down around us, it just seems fitting that TV would begin the season finale purge this week, too. Six — SIX — network shows will end their seasons this week, and some seven notable cable shows will wind down, too. Now, of these thirteen shows that I’ve highlighted, only two of them will end forever, but the bottom line is without any end in sight for our social distancing moment, it’s unclear when the TV world will get back to business. What I’m saying is, enjoy your This is Us now, while you can.

Meanwhile, in FoolishWatcherLand, the votes are in and it looks like I have to get back to work on American Gods. Which, alright! I will! I am also considering getting back to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, as I need something empty-headed to do, too. Especially since it looks like The Bachelorette will be postponed. As for the write-in votes, thank you for the suggestions — I’m going to take them into account. And there was one suggestion that was written in a couple of times that I will hopefully be able to satisfy much sooner than later. Stay tuned!

The D.B. Weiss/David Benioff guest appearance on Westworld happened last night and it was damned delightful. I won’t give it away if you haven’t watched yet, but if you have, here’s how it came together (beer was involved).

The Walking Dead had a big exit last night that did not involve killing off a major character. Spoilers, obviously. And anyway, she’ll be back.

The author of Outlander was disappointed in Outlander this week. Somewhere, the showrunner is crying in bed.

If you’ve been watching Netflix’s Tiger King — and if you haven’t, you really need to get on it — here are Joe Exotic’s batshit bananas music videos all in one place.

Season Three of Star Trek: Discovery, like everything else, is probably going to be delayed a bit:

Eric Kripke has you covered, The Boys fans:

People are talking shit about Ellen DeGeneres and it’s kinda amazing.

The Real Housewives of New York City is coming back soon, and the taglines are already out.

One of Meghan Markle’s former co-stars (for about five minutes) was supposedly offered $70,000 by a British tabloid to lie that he had a relationship with her. Just in case you wondered why Meghan and Harry got the fuck out of that particular shitshow.

Aww, Newsradio‘s 25th birthday was on Saturday, and I didn’t do anything to celebrate.

jimmy james newsradio capitalist lion tamerjimmy james newsradio well there you go

Things just became more difficult for Byron Allen in his lawsuit against Comcast.

Congratulations, genuinely, to Meghan McCain. It must be terrifying to be pregnant right now — especially having previously lost a pregnancy — and I wish her and her family all of the best.

Going Viral

WELP. My summer recapping just opened up as it looks like the Summer Olympics are going to be postponed. After Japan and the IOC dragged their heels about postponing the events, Canada announced that they wouldn’t be sending a delegation if the Olympics were going to be held on the scheduled date. They were soon joined by Switzerland and Australia, and eventually the IOC agreed to delay it by a year. This is only the fourth time in the modern Olympics that the event has been canceled. The other three times were due to war.

Other things shutting down:

Somehow, ITV series, Coronation Street and Emmerdale have only just now halted production.

In late-night TV news:

Supernatural episodes are going to be held back after tonight’s episode. 🙁

ESPN2 is running all dog-related programming tonight in honor of International Puppy Day, and on account of WE ALL NEED MORE DOG CONTENT RIGHT NOW.

MTV has debuted a special episode of Unplugged featuring musicians playing from home:

The first episode of Oprah Talks COVID-19, in which Oprah interviews Idris Elba and his wife, is available for free on Apple TV+.

Disney+ will reduce its bandwidth and Netflix is reporting that viewing is up. As for programming, they have plenty in the pipeline for the next few months but could face some disruption later in the year. All of TV right now: SAME.

Hulu is launching free 24/7 streams of ABC News.

The Lovebirds will premiere on Netflix instead of in theaters.

AND PLEASE DO NOT VISIT SCHITT’S CREEK RIGHT NOW, THANKS.

Some people who have tested positive since we last checked in:

Understandably, a senior segment producer at MSNBC is pleading with NBC News to shut down 30 Rock.

Sophie Turner has some shit to say, EVANGELINE LILLY:

Dr. Phil knows who the real villains are in this (and he’s not wrong, it just feels like small potatoes right now).

A recent poll suggested that a full 12% of Americans are not concerned with Coronavirus. And a vast majority of them watch Fox News.

To that end, after watching some idiot bitch on Fox News about the economic impact of social distancing, our incompetent president is now suggesting that the “cure” can not be worse than the illness itself — meaning he’s growing bored with medical and social interventions that require people to stay away from one another and from work, and is threatening to lift restrictions designed to flatten the curve in two weeks.

snl hillary kate mckinnon donald trump will get us all killed

He also lashed out at the media, blaming them, because when you don’t know what else to do, fall back on your greatest hits, right?

Yep! Because covering the spread of the virus accurately, and questioning whether or not this administration has handled this crisis well is an attack on him. Because he and his delicate fee-fees are what is most important right now. Jesus Christ, this malignant narcissist …

And as for the one person we can trust in the administration, the head of the NIH, Dr. Fauci, he’s given interviews expressing his exasperation with our president’s inability to tell the truth and stay on the proper message, while President Illiterate is expressing his frustration with Fauci for being honest with the American people instead of being a cheerleader for his half-assed measures:

But Mr. Trump has become frustrated with Dr. Fauci’s blunt approach at the briefing lectern, which often contradicts things the president has just said, according to two people familiar with the dynamic.

Mr. Trump knows that Dr. Fauci is seen as credible with a large swath of the public and with journalists, and so he has given him more leeway to contradict him than he has other officials. But the president has also resisted portraying the virus as an existential threat in a way that the public health experts have.

Fauci won’t be with the administration much longer.

Finally, part of the problem at hand is that President Out of His Depth is refusing to require corporations to make medical supplies because it would undermine conservative values against nationalizing a response. Instead of coordinating a response, making sure that supplies are being made and then sent to hotspots, this idiot has walked away from being an actual leader and dumped the majority of the response on the states. As a result, this has forced the states to compete with each other for masks and PPE and ventilators and other needed materials. SO, GREAT JOB EVERYONE. GOOD GOING.

Don’t listen to our dumb president. Listen to Danny DeVito:

mr rogers helpers

Look for the helpers:

Netflix has announced a $100 million fund to help film and TV industry workers.

Bethenny Frankel is donating half-a-million masks to doctors and nurses.

Christian Siriano and his team began sewing masks for health care workers:

New Amsterdam, the Chicago series, The Rookie, Pose, and Filthy Rich have joined other shows in donating their medical supplies to hospitals.

Rosie O’Donnell’s livestream of The Rosie O’Donnell show raised $600,000 for The Actors Fund.

These are small things, but Amazon is making a bunch of kids shows free to all.

Jake Johnson is offering personalized messages to young Spider-Man fans:

And of course, we can’t forget all of the true heroes: our medical professionals, the scientists, the pharmacists, the grocery store employees, the cooks and chefs, the delivery people and the post office, the police, firefighters and first responders, our waste disposal workers, the national guard, the cashiers, the caretakers, our teachers, all the critical infrastructure folks, the farmers and food producers, all the people stepping up to make vital medical equipment, and the local government leaders who are making the hard decisions to keep us safe. Please, wash your hands, and follow your local social distancing protocols to help keep safe those who are working hard to keep us all safe.

I love you. Wash your hands. Stay 6 feet apart. Listen to the doctors.

#MeToo

Just your weekly reminder that Harvey Weinstein is a piece of human garbage, and if it seems like I’m relishing the fact that he contracted Covid-19, it’s because I am:

View this post on Instagram

These photos were taken at the premiere of Serendipity on October 5,2001. We all refused to go because holding a premiere mere weeks after 9/11 with the city still smoking felt like the most insensitive, tone deaf,disrespectful idea possible .But Harvey insisted. We flew into New York and somehow got through it. The next morning Harvey called me and asked if I would like to bring my less than two year old daughter to his house for a playdate with his similar aged daughter I said ok. I turned up and he immediately called for his nanny to take the babies to another room to play. I went to go with them and he said “No, you wait here .” The minute the door closed he started screaming “you stupid fucking CUNT, you CUNT you ruined my premiere .” I had no idea what he was talking about and started to shake.He said,”If I am throwing a red carpet you get in a tight dress, you shake your ass you shake your tits you do not go down it looking like a fucking lesbian you stupid fucking cunt .” The shock made me burst into tears.I tried to say “Harvey,the city is on fire, people are still looking for their relatives none of us even felt the premiere was appropriate much less coming out dressed like it’s a bachelor party .” He said,”I don’t care -it’s my fucking premiere and if I want pussy on the red carpet that’s what I get”.Screaming. Livid. I managed to get myself and my child out of there and yes that was one of many experiences I had that there was no recourse for,and falls under no felony.But I WAS punished for it, and for other instances where I said no to him for years,insidiously and seeming irreversibly. Hearing that he has gone to prison for 23 years is a huge relief to me on behalf of all the women he sexually assaulted or raped, and I hope will be a deterrent to that sort of behavior in this and any other industry. Having said that,the crimes that are not crimes,the inhumane bullying and sick covert abuse for which there is STILL no recourse no matter who you tell(and I did tell),these too need to go.I hope and pray that we as an industry can start to actually outlaw all abuses of power and expose them and eliminate them, for all genders,forever.And Rose,brava ❤

A post shared by Kate Beckinsale (@katebeckinsale) on

Good news for Woody Allen and his defenders like Bret Stephens: his memoir has found a publishing home after all, just as everyone predicted. So everyone can just shut the fuck up with their “censorship” pearl-clutching. It is within any publishing house’s right to not publish something! That’s how it works!

R. Kelly is being prosecuted for knowingly and intentionally giving a woman herpes. Yep! That seems on brand.

Ghislaine Maxwell, the woman who procured young girls for Jeffrey Epstein ALLEGEDLY, now wants money from his estate. Cool cool cool.

A friendly legal reminder from a woman who is not a lawyer to Johnny Depp, Donald Jingleballs Trump and everyone else who would file a vindictive lawsuit against their lawyers’ wishes: DISCOVERY IS A BITCH.

Cancellations

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • We’re Here is like Queer Eye but with some of RuPaul’s best drag queens and I am all about this right now. Deliver it straight into my veins — on HBO, April 23.
  • Run will debut on HBO on April 12.
  • The Great will debut on Hulu on May 15. If you loved The Favourite as much as I did, this will be your jam.
  • Hawaii Five-0‘s series finale is in two parts, the first to air this Friday.
  • The Willoughbys will premiere on Netflix on April 22.
  • Survive will premiere on Quibi on April 6.

R.I.P.

Kenny Rogers, Country music legend and Houston native. When I was living in New York City, I went to a Kenny Rogers Roasters with my friend, the great Houston Chronicle writer Andrew Dansby (you should read his obituary for Rogers here). I accidentally left my purse there, a lovely Coach purse my mother had given me some years earlier, and never got it back, leading me to joke for the next 20 years that Kenny Rogers stole my purse. Fast forward to a few years ago, and Foolish’s own Whitney went to a Kenny Rogers concert and had a chance to meet him backstage. As she and her mother put their purses down to take a photo with him, he joked, “You know, we keep those.”

!!!!

You can keep the purse, Kenny.

And just in case you needed a little cry today:

Lucia Bosè, Italian actress

WATCH THIS

Supernatural: Castiel asks Jack to do the unthinkable. 7 p.m., The CW

Freud: A young Sigmund Freud gets mixed up in some occult shit in this new series. Netflix

Saving Private Ryan: I don’t know why a movie about another difficult time in our history might make you feel better right about now, except that it has a happy ending? And Tom Hanks? Man, I don’t know. 7 p.m., Sundance

The Golden Girls marathon: Just another reminder for why you should be staying out of public: to keep Betty White, national treasure, safe. 10 p.m., CMT

 

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