Well, hi. So, things are … strange, and I’m trying, as I’m sure you are, to not completely spin out. As I type this, I was supposed to be on a plane to California, a trip that we canceled for obvious reasons. I’m not looking for sympathy — God knows there’s not going to be much available for a TV blogger who has to cancel her annual ski trip — but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t disappointing and not a little scary as I didn’t make a grocery run at the end of last week under the assumption that I wouldn’t be home anyway AND NOW MY FAMILY IS GOING TO STARVE.*
As for this blog, I had built a series of posts to run this week featuring tons of cute animals doing cute things to amuse you while I threw myself down the side of a mountain for no particularly good reason. But since I’m here, we’re just going to do the regular TeeVee thing so I don’t bore myself to death while trying to socially distance. The problem is, the regular TeeVee thing these days mostly means coverage of how the virus is impacting the industry because that’s pretty much the only news right now. It’s a bummer and it sucks and I’m sorry because I know you probably don’t want to read about it and I certainly don’t want to read about it. But whaddya gonna do? It’s our new reality.
But before we get to that, be sure to tell me which show you’d like me to get back to recapping. I’m seeing a surprising amount of love for American Gods in there, which I did not expect, but alright! I see you! American Gods was neglected and deserves love! Vote and make sure your favorite is represented.
*We are not going to starve.
Before we get to the virus crap — always so much virus crap — a few non-virus things:
Emilia Clarke finally admits that the ending of Game of Thrones was not great and that it is some bullshit that Jon Snow just … got away with it.
Well, here’s some trivia about Walking Dead actress Thora Birch that I just did not see coming. (That’s what she said.) (I’m sorry.)
Love might not be dead after all! YOU SHOULD HAVE PICKED HIM ALL ALONG.
QUIT BEING SO NOSY, JOHNATHAN FRAKES.
Where are all your favorite shows filmed? NOWHERE THESE DAYS.
TV Guide has been doing a good job of coming up with series to binge while you are doing the responsible thing and socially distancing yourself:
- Stuck with little ones? Here are the best kids movies to binge.
- The best horror series. I know I’m a broken record on this, but Marianne is really great.
- The best sci-fi series. If you haven’t seen 12 Monkeys, the movie and/or the series (which obviously isn’t as good as the movie, but is still pretty darn good) now is either the BEST time to watch it or the WORST time to watch it.
- And the best crime dramas. They include The Outsider here, which is an interesting choice as it’s more of a horror series, but sure. I’ll allow it.
- And Warming Glow offers the best cooking series.
And over on PBS, they are making Ken Burns’ Baseball available for streaming to help with your sports withdrawal. I’m not sure if it’s the replacement you’re looking for, but it’s there.
TV productions that have been postponed (I know, I know: I should just post “ALL OF THEM” and be done with it already):
- The Bachelorette
- Stranger Things
- The Walking Dead
- The Witcher
- Family Feud
- America’s Got Talent
- The Handmaid’s Tale
- The Neighborhood
- The Late Late Show
- Last Man Standing
- The Orville
- The Talk
- Fear the Walking Dead
- The Goldbergs
- Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
- The Lord of the Rings
- Tamron Hall
- Power Book II: Ghost
- Power Book III: Raising Kanan
- Tooning Out the News
- Genius: Aretha
- Jimmy Kimmel Live!
- General Hospital
- The Righteous Gemstones
- Y: The Last Man
- For All Mankind
- Lisey’s Story
- Mythic Quest
- The Big Sky
- The Brides
- The Big Leap
- Harlem’s Kitchen
- Home Economics
- Kids Matter Now
- My Village
- Ordinary Joe
- Untitled Kapnek/Holland
- Valley Trash
- Work Wife
- Home & Family
- And all Hallmark movies
- Love Island France
- The 55th Academy of Country Music Awards
Meanwhile, The 100 completed filming of their series, and The Crown intends to keep on filming.
Will The Bachelorette be canceled altogether this season? Well … it’s not looking good.
The pilot season is in chaos — usually networks film pilot episodes right now and then decide which of them to pick up for full seasons, which they then announce during the upfronts in May. All of this is out the window now. Some pilots have completed filming, but not many, which bodes poorly for new series being bought — but is probably good news for existing series.
Us: 2020 is gonna be our year
*3 months later* pic.twitter.com/M73neen4bp
— Randy Emillio (@RandyEmillio) March 11, 2020
The sports world and networks are looking at almost unimaginable financial losses — in the multi-billions.
The NFL is still going to hold the draft, but all public events related to it have been canceled.
Stay at home as much as possible. Listen to the experts, ignore the morons (foreheads). We will get through this together. pic.twitter.com/FRg41QehuB
— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) March 16, 2020
A few people who have the virus: Idris Elba; Impeachment Attorney Daniel Goldman; Olga Kurylenko; CBS News foreign correspondent Seth Doane; Richard Wilkins, an Australian TV host who had contact with Rita Wilson; Universal Music Group chairperson and CEO Sir Lucian Grainge; maybe Heidi Klum, who struggled to get a test.
Other celebrities who are self-quarantining: Orlando Bloom; Katy Perry; and Tori Spelling.
And President Patient Zero claims he took a test and it was negative but no one believes him.
Thanks to the Helpers. Let’s take care of ourselves and each other. Hanx pic.twitter.com/09gCdvzGcO
— Tom Hanks (@tomhanks) March 15, 2020
Here’s a fun local Houston clip which features a guy who seems really nice who is here blaming Miya Shay — a news reporter — for reporting on the news:
The White House press corps had to be tested for fever before being allowed to attend the White House press conferences.
Remember Trish Regan, the idiot Fox Business News host who claimed that the media coverage of the virus is all about trying to impeach the President again? Yeah, her show got pulled from the air at least temporarily.
Voting in Ohio has been postponed. And by the by, can we just talk about how this is the Worst Case Scenario for the general election? Don’t think it can’t happen. It can DEFINITELY happen.
The Supreme Court has postponed oral arguments, THANK GOD. PROTECT RBG AT ALL COSTS. WRAP HER IN BUBBLE WRAP.
Movie theaters are cutting their capacity some 50% if they haven’t been shut down altogether like in Los Angeles and New York. Alamo Drafthouse has pledged to continue paying their employees because they are a good company WHO I WISH WOULD OPEN A THEATER INSIDE THE 610 LOOP HERE IN HOUSTON ALREADY.
Movies that have delayed production include: The Matrix 4 (which my cousin was just about to leave for Berlin to film; sadface emoji here); Jurassic World: Dominion; The Batman; Hypnotic; Red Notice; Samaritan; and The Card Counter– and director Paul Schrader is NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. Here are the other movies I might not have mentioned.
There was some question about whether or not studios would just release delayed movies on streaming services: why not just release Mulan on Disney+, for instance. Just as this piece was published explaining that it ain’t gonna happen because making a big splashy theatrical release is actually often very profitable, Universal announced that The Invisible Man, The Hunt, Emma and Trolls will be available on video on demand. Movies are going to be expensive: $19.99, but considering entire families can watch at that price, it’s maybe not that bad? Is this the future?
Comcast, AT&T, Charter, Verizon and dozens of other internet providers have pledged to allow customers to keep their internet access even if they can’t afford it for at least the next 60 days.
Watching the videos from Italy 🇮🇹 inspired me. Entertainers must offer hope & humor to their neighbors in this time of quarantine. pic.twitter.com/ohrsBtuqzu
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) March 16, 2020
It’s way past time to take this seriously. Socially distance yourself, wash your hands, don’t touch your face, listen to the health officials (not the politicians). Listen to the guy who created World War Z, and is just trying to protect his dad:
— Max Brooks (@maxbrooksauthor) March 16, 2020
Don’t be Ben Carson.
Ben Carson opens his remarks by coughing into his hand at the podium. pic.twitter.com/enUEPmfTUD
— Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) March 14, 2020
Ignore this bullshit:
And listen to Scrubs:
LOVE AND STAY SAFE.
Mark Your Calendar
- Atlanta’s Missing and Murdered will debut on HBO on April 5.
- A special 20/20 is airing tonight instead of The Good Doctor.
- Uncorked will debut on Netflix on March 27.
- Selling the Big Easy will debut on HGTV on April 10.
- Good Eats: Reloaded will return on Cooking Channel on April 13.
Netflix has released the dates of a number of documentary release dates — read all about them in the link:
- A Life of Speed: The Juan Manuel Fangio Story will debut on March 20.
- Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution, March 25.
- How To Fix A Drug Scandal, April 1.
- The Innocence Files, April 15.
- Circus of Books, April 22.
- A Secret Love, April 29.
- Murder to Mercy: The Cyntoia Brown Story, April 29.
- Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics, May 11.
- Trial by Media, May 11.
- Spelling the Dream, May 23.
- Lenox Hill, June 10.
- Father Soldier Son, June 19.
- Athlete A, June 24.
- Mucho Mucho Amor: The Legend of Walter Mercado, July 8.
- Street Food: Latin America, July
- David Attenborough: A Life on Our Planet, Sometime in 2020.
- Dick Johnson Is Dead, Sometime in 2020.
- Unsolved Mysteries, Sometime in 2020.
- Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich, Sometime in 2020.
Lorenzo Brino, 7th Heaven star
Beatrice, The French Bulldog on Modern Family
— Jesse Tyler Ferguson (@jessetyler) March 15, 2020
Genesis Breyer P-Orridge, Artist and musician
Allen Bellman, Captain America artist
Supernatural: Billie surprises everyone with a visit to the bunker. 7 p.m., The CW
The Plot Against America: A crazy alternate history in which a dangerous racist becomes President of the United States. Can you even imagine? Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
9-1-1: Lunch ends in disaster in the mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Roswell, New Mexico: Season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
My Brilliant Friend: Second season premiere. 9 p.m., HBO
Y’all, it’s all reruns for the foreseeable future. Dark times.
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|Roswell, New Mexico