The Kansas City Chiefs won the Super Bowl last night, and Donald Jenius Trump congratulated the wrong state, because our idiot president is an idiot. Not coincidentally, #TrumpIsAnIdiot is trending on Twitter right about now.
Someone on the staff saw his mistake, deleted the tweet and replaced “Great State of Kansas” with “Great State of Missouri,” finally answering for me something I’ve long wondered about. When the Dimwit-in-Chief tweets out something stupid, is it because he is actually that dumb, is it actually possible that the most powerful man on Earth is THAT DUMB, or does he deliberately make mistakes, misspell words, use creative grammar, whathaveyou, so as to troll the libs and make people like me explode with fury while at the same time appeal to his base that he’s just like them and not some dumb egghead elite? The thing about this mistake, confusing Kansas City, Missouri as being in Kansas (and yes, save your comments: I know that there is a Kansas City, Kansas, but even my completely disengaged from all sports teenage son knows that the Chiefs play for Kansas City, Missouri), is that he stands to alienate his base with this dumb mistake, not win any points. So, yes, he is exactly that dumb.
I urge the people of Kansas and Missouri to think about this in November. He doesn’t know who you are. He doesn’t know where you live. He doesn’t know anything about you. pic.twitter.com/cDE7woZXxH
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) February 3, 2020
That said, I’m obligated to note that this mistake won’t actually alienate anyone in his base in Missouri or Kansas, just as his insistence that Hurricane Dorian was making a straight line for Alabama didn’t lose him any voters in Alabama.
BREAKING: The Senate just voted 53-47 that Kansas City is actually in Kansas. #TrumpIsAnIdiot #StoneColdIdiot
— NightShade 🖲 (@NightShade31415) February 3, 2020
Aside from politics, other things I guess we should talk about from last night’s game: Jennifer Lopez and Shakira’s halftime show was something. Personally, I thought it was fun and fierce, surprisingly political and for women who are 50 and 43 respectively, pretty spectacular, but I’ve seen others who found it over-sexualized and anti-feminist. It’s an argument for the ages and one we will not settle here.
If you somehow missed it:
And yes, that was Jennifer Lopez’s 11-year-old daughter, Emme, on stage with her to sing “Born in the USA” while Lopez donned a Puerto Rican flag coat. In addition to making a statement of support of Puerto Rico, it was also intended to be a tribute to Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna. As for Shakira’s performance, here is a good breakdown of all the Middle Eastern references she included, from belly dancing to the use of mijwiz and derbeke to the zaghrouta.
Then there were the ads: I’m not going to go through all of them, but the consensus seems to be that the Groundhog Day Jeep ad with Bill Murray …
… and the super creepy/weird/funny Rocket Mortgage ad featuring Jason Momoa:
… were among the best. See more Super Bowl commercials here. Oh, and here are all the movie trailers that made their debut yesterday.
Finally, this has nothing to do with TV, exactly, but Kansas City Cheifs DT Derrick Nnadi celebrated yesterday’s win by paying all of the adoption fees for the dogs at the shelter he partners with. THAT IS A GOOD MAN.
A confession: though it was one of my favorite shows, I did not watch the series finale of The Good Place in real time. One part of it was I knew I would turn into a sobbing mess and I just wanted to do that alone thankyouverymuch and one part of that is that somehow, my husband is not a fan of the show — I don’t know how we’re still married, either — and I didn’t want to force him to watch it, while I sobbed like a crazy person over things he wouldn’t understand. I did watch it on Friday, it was perfect, I cried and cried, and I’m grateful for the four-season ride. ~THAT WAVE METAPHOR, YOU GUYS.~ Anyway, once you’ve walked through to the other side, here is a good collection of all the hidden jokes in the finale, and this is a deeper explanation of some of them.
And I wasn’t the only one who cried: Damon Lindelof found the series finale “exquisite:” “I definitely cried. It was very elegant and understated. It didn’t feel manipulative, which I most certainly would have done. There would have been much more overtly teary goodbyes. And I loved how understated it was, and how much it trusted the audience.”
In that same piece, Lindelof addresses the question of more Watchmen. The short answer, probably not, but never say never. The long answer:
“I understand that the culture writ large wants a firm answer,” he said. “Is there going to be more, isn’t there going to be more. And unfortunately, the answer is: ‘probably not.’ I’ve been pretty consistent about that since we premiered the show at Comic-Con.”
“When I first pitched the show to HBO, where I looked at it as, in the model of ‘Fargo’ and ‘True Detective,’” he added. “I think there’s a very high likelihood that there will be more ‘Watchmen.’ I think the likelihood of me being involved as showrunner starts to drop off. I would love to see more, and I think I’d love to see television shows like ‘True Detective’ or ‘Fargo’ where other visionaries can come in and take their run at it. I didn’t create ‘Watchmen,’ so I think it’s hypocritical for me to say I’m the only one who can do it. But I also want to leave space for, if three or four or five years from now I have that ‘eureka’ moment that we could do another one.”
The Writers Guild of America held its awards ceremony this weekend. Winners in the Television category included:
New Series: Watchmen
Long-Form Original: Chernobyl
Long-Form Adaptation: Fosse/Verdon
Short-Form New Media: Special
Comedy/Variety Talk Series: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
Comedy/Variety Sketch Series: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
Daytime: The Young and the Restless
Terry Crews has apologized to Gabrielle Union. About damn time, Terry.
I hear you, I respect you and understand you. I am sorry and I am here to support you. I spoke from my own personal point of view without first taking into consideration someone else’s experience.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 31, 2020
@itsgabrielleu, I want you to know it was never my intention to invalidate your experience— but that is what I did. I apologize. You have been through a lot in this business, and with that I empathize with the struggle toward fairness and equality in the workplace.
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 31, 2020
@itsgabrielleu You are a role model to the entire black community and In my desire to be professionally neutral as your co-worker, I should have at the very least understood you just needed my support.
Sincerely, Terry Crews
— terry crews (@terrycrews) January 31, 2020
And David Schwimmer has apologized to Erika Alexander for not recognizing the existence of Living Single.
— schwim (@DavidSchwimmer) January 29, 2020
Damn: Disney is about to reveal they have some 25 to 30 million subscribers to Disney+. That’s huge.
The Bachelor Live On Stage is a thing that is happening, and probably happening near you since it is going to 65 cities. You can find tickets here.
WAIT, THERE WAS ACTUALLY SOMEONE FAMOUS ON THE MASKED SINGER?? Here are some guesses as to the identity of the other singers. I assure you, neither Tina Turner nor Dolly Parton is doing this nonsense.
Love is dead. Again.
R.I.P. TV by the Numbers. This was a very handy little site that kept track of ratings and analyzed what they meant in a great guessing game column called Cancel Bear. I had noticed that the Bear hadn’t made any predictions in months, and sure enough, they announced that today was their last day. Pour one out for the Bear.
Well, the Senate did what the Senate was always going to do: they voted against calling witnesses or subpoenaing evidence, and on Friday, the Yam Sham officially became a sham for a yam.
Today, both sides are giving their closing arguments, which are about to end as I type this. Following the closing arguments, senators will be able to deliver their own statements on impeachment. Senators Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, and Michael Bennett — who is apparently still running for President, who knew?! — will be among those to give their statements today before flying out to Iowa for the caucus. Tomorrow, other senators will give their statements, and President Can’t Find Missouri on a Map will give his State of the Union address without the benefit of an acquittal he can do a victory lap on. This is the one bright spot of all of this.
But that acquittal will arrive on Wednesday when the Senators finally vote — Politico has confirmed that he has the 34 votes he needs to stay in office.
And the truth is, I’m neither surprised nor even disappointed. After the way the Republicans handled the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, the way they provided a mock “investigation” into the allegations against him, and the way they abused Dr. Ford, all in defense of a man they could have replaced with any number of other conservative judges who hadn’t been accused by multiple women of despicable behavior, after all that, I came to fully appreciate that the Republican party as it stands today will do absolutely anything to maintain their power, and will never give an inch. In some ways, it’s a relief, friends, to no longer keep that flame of hope alive that someone, anyone in the GOP will put country over party. Disappointment has been painful for me in the past, but I find myself no longer disappointed, just looking forward to November.
If you do find yourself disappointed this week, I suggest you help someone register to vote or find a candidate you believe in to support and knock on doors for, or that you become that candidate yourself. We won’t remove this fucker through this trial, but we can remove him in November. I refuse to give up hope on that.
- Soundtrack has been canceled after one season on Netflix.
- The Lost Boys and Maverick have both been given pilot orders at The CW.
- Siempre, Luis, a documentary about Lin-Manuel Miranda’s father, has been bought by HBO.
- Heartbeats, a comedy, has been ordered at Quibi.
- Top Gear is moving to BBC One.
- Hulu is close to buying the horror film Bad Hair.
- Netflix is close to buying the film The 40-Year-Old-Version.
- Paget Brewster has joined Blood & Treasure on CBS.
- Jen Tullock and Zach Cherry have been added to the cast of Severance on Apple TV+.
- Fiona Dourif is joining The Stand on CBS All Access.
- Lauralee Bell has been cast in the upcoming V.C. Andrews movies on Lifetime.
- Sarah Minnich has been cast in Briarpatch on USA.
- Rachel Boston and Tim Chiou will join SEAL Team on CBS.
Mark Your Calendar
- Disney+ aired a teaser trailer for upcoming Marvel series. Note, the earliest premiere date for any of these series is The Falcon and the Winter Soldier which will debut sometime in fall 2020. The rest are all expected to debut in 2021:
- Flipped will premiere on Quibi in April.
- The Fugitive will premiere on Quibi in April.
- Elba vs. Block will premiere on Quibi in April.
- P-Valley will debut sometime this summer on Starz.
- This is a great list of programming scheduled for Black History Month.
- Vegas Chef Prizefight will debut on Food Network on March 5.
- Coyote Peterson will premiere on Animal Planet on February 9.
- Eating History will premiere on History Channel on March 11.
Mary Higgins Clark, Best-selling author
Monique Van Vooren, Actress
Andy Gill, Guitarist for Gang of Four
The Bachelor: Three hours. Three hours ON TOP OF ANOTHER EPISODE ON WEDNESDAY. Lord, give me strength. 7 p.m., ABC
McMillion$: Hey, remember the Monopoly game at McDonald’s from way back? Yeah, the whole thing was corrupted by the mob, and this documentary series lays out the entire crazy story. Series premiere. 9 p.m., HBO
Desus & Mero: David Letterman is their guest. Season premiere. 10 p.m., Showtime
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Andy Samberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Finneas
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Fran Drescher, Dean-Charles Chapman, Paul Krugman, Ilan Rubin
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Taylor, Rob McElhenney, Moses Sumney
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: TBA
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Will Arnett, Hot Country Knights
- The Daily Show: Daniel Ricciardo
- Conan: Antonio Banderas
- Lights Out with David Spade: Dana Gould, Cristela Alonzo, Pete Holmes
- Watch What Happens Live: Arden Myrin, Adam Glick
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Ilana Glazer
|Bob Hearts Abishola
|FOX||9-1-1: Lone Star
|NBC||America’s Got Talent: The Champions