We need to talk about Adam Levine’s nipples.

The FCC released the 94 pages of complaints they received about the Super Bowl — complaints that included how scary the Us trailer was, that Travis Scott had a potty mouth, and that Adam Levine, like every mammal, has nipples.

A few of my personal favorites:

“I witnessed the exposure of nipples during the halftime show of the super bowl. My children were watching. If I wanted them exposed to the trash I would let them go hog wild on pornhub. Adam Levine and the NFL need to be punished for such indecency.”

“I find it offensive to see Adam Levine without his shirt, showing his nipples, during the halftime show.”

“I am offended and troubled by the actions taken during the Super Bowl half time show. I am stunned that I was forced to see a topless man gyrating and gesticulating during the show. How can it be appropriate that a man expose himself that way during a family program. It is offensive and sexual and I do not believe CBS endorses this type of unannounced nudity”

“Why must America be subjected to the disgusting display of nipples exhibited during the super bowl. It was disgusting and offensive to see nipples flaunted so brazenly!”

To be fair to the American people, I believe that most of these comments were meant sarcastically, designed to point out the double standard that punished Janet Jackson for her infamous “wardrobe malfunction” 15 years ago, but turns a blind eye to this brazen display of nipplery, which is a point others made explicit:

“It is completely unacceptable for you to allow Adam to show his nipples at the half time show for the super bowl and to fine Janet Jackson! Either fine Adam twice as much or apologize to Janet and reimburse her!!!”

“During the halftime show, Adam Levine removed his shirt and revealed two nipples. When Janet Jackson revealed only one nipple, CBS was fined $550,000. I imagine you will treat Adam Levine in the same manner and not support double standards.”

“Adam Levine removed his shirt and exposed his nipples during the halftime show. If Janet Jackson got banned for a wardrobe malfunction that exposed one nipple, he should be for purposely exposing both of his.”

“During the NFL’s SuperBowl halftime show, Adam Levine chose to purposefully take over his shirt during his performance, exposing his chest area and both nipples to the millions of people watching. His indecent exposure was witnessed by countless untold young children during this family-oriented broadcast. The FCC chose to levy a $550,000 fine against CBS for Janet Jackson’s breast/nipple exposure and the same thing needs to happen in this case, lest you appear to display hypocrisy and double standards.”

FREE THE NIPPLE!

Here are the Daytime Emmy nominations. (Go, General Hospital!)

The Dummy-in-Chief is still talking shit about John McCain — this time complaining OUT LOUD, WHERE PEOPLE COULD ACTUALLY HEAR HIM that he was never thanked for McCain’s funeral, and YES, THIS IS REAL LIFE — and Meghan McCain, again, was forced to address it on The View. STOP. MAKING. ME. SYMPATHIZE. WITH. MEGHAN. MCCAIN.

Meanwhile, the weirdness of Kellyanne and George Conway’s marriage continues afoot, this time with Kellyanne defending her boss against her husband on national television OUT LOUD, WHERE PEOPLE COULD ACTUALLY HEAR HER.

“What’re the chances of Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin getting prison time?” Zero. Also, “what’re” is the stupidest contraction I’ve ever seen.

John Mulaney reveals the next subject of his SNL musicals, and believe it or not, I have a tribute to it hanging in my dining room. I think this qualifies as a shoutout.

WAIT, THE NARRATOR ON JANE THE VIRGIN HAS A CONNECTION TO THE FAMILY?!?

That time Mel Brooks told Rachel Bloom that he wouldn’t be on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend because “I’m not going to be on your fucking show. It doesn’t do anything for me…I am so famous.”

Lee Daniels opened up a little about the “pain and anger and sadness and frustration” the Empire family is feeling in the wake of the Smollett story on an Instagram post:

Following the Disney buyout of Fox, Fox ran a greatest hits video. Interestingly, and maybe tellingly about its chances for renewal (??), Empire features prominently:

Netflix officially has more originals than acquired shows and movies.

Happy 40th, Nickelodeon!

We need to have a talk about the psychological toll reality television has on its participants.

We have season 8 key art, and it’s pretty cool:

I’m still not at a place where I can think the ice dragon is cool. TOO SOON.

From Last Week

Details about The Sopranos prequel movie have come out: It’s going to be called The Many Saints of Newark, it’s going to be released on September 25, 2020, it’s going to focus on Dickie Moltisanti, Christopher’s father, and will be set during the Newark riots of 1967 in which 26 people died and 700 more were injured.

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Sean Bean revealed that no one ever told him who Jon’s real parents were, talks a little about some of the scenes that were cut from the pilot, and we learn Ned’s beheading was apparently a laugh riot on the set.

Two months later, Netflix finally gets around to removing footage of an actual tragedy from Bird Box.

Blake Bortles is no longer on The Jaguars; WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR JASON?

LOL, I forgot this happened last week:

Sex Monster News

From Last Week

President Grabby can’t outrun the Summer Zervos lawsuit. GOOD.

Full Frontal tackled harassment in the animation industry with this wonderful piece. It’s funny, inspiring and touching and worth six minutes of your time:

Paul Haggis has withdrawn his lawsuit against the woman who has accused him of raping her.

The only thing surprising about this report that suggests 64% of diverse TV writers have experienced discrimination and harassment on the job is that the number is so low.

Renewals

From Last Week

Ratings

  • The Passage‘s chances aren’t looking great according to The Cancel Bear. (I’m more optimistic, just based on some of the positive reviews it’s received.)
  • A.P. Bio is a likely cancelation which isn’t surprising BUT YOU SHOULD REALLY WATCH IT ANYWAY. I promise, this show is going to gain a cult following once it hits Netflix.
  • For the People is ABC’s most vulnerable series.
  • Ransom is CBS’ lowest-performing series, but will its Saturday night spot be what saves it?

In Development

From Last Week

Casting News

From Last Week

Mark Your Calendars

  • Krypton will return on Syfy sometime this year.
  • The Society debuts … sometime … on Netflix.

From Last Week

  • Absentia will return on Amazon on June 14.

R.I.P.

From last week:

George Morfogen, Actor and producer. He appeared in a number of series, including Oz, the original V, and Damages.

Jim Raman, Contestant on The Amazing Race.

WATCH THIS

Supernatural: Sam and Dean come up against a monster they’ve never heard of and here’s where I would make a joke about the monster being a person who doesn’t know how to load a dishwasher or the person who blocks the entire grocery aisle when you’re just trying to get through, but having just disembarked from an airplane, I think we can all agree that the real monsters are those people who are traveling in a huge family group and who will already get on the plane between the A and B groups when family boarding is called because they have small children, but go ahead and use their grandpa — who can WALK JUST FINE — to preboard the entire group, all 17 family members, because they are more important than everyone else. MONSTERS. 7 p.m., The CW

Legacies: Landon uncovers secrets from his past. OK. 8 p.m., The CW

Critters: A New Binge: Children of the 80s will be excited to learn these little monsters are back for a whole new series. Series premiere. Shudder

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Joel Kinnaman, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Ain’t Too Proud”
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Andrew Rannells, Carla Lalli Music
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Michael Keaton, Retta, Jenny Lewis
  • The Daily Show: Dr. Leana Wen
  • Conan: Gad Elmaleh
  • Busy Tonight: Courteney Cox
  • Watch What Happens Live: Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, Willie Geist

 

THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Grey’s Anatomy
(new)
Station 19
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For the People
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CBS NCAA Basketball
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CW Supernatural
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Legacies
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News/Local
FOX Gotham
(new)
The Orville
(new)
News/Local
NBC Superstore
(new)
A.P. Bio
(new)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(new)
Will & Grace
(new)
Law & Order: SVU
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