Thanks to the French, we (probably) know the lengths of the final Game of Thrones episodes: 60 minutes for the first two, 80 for the final four. I mean, this doesn’t allow any insight as to what will actually happen in those 60 or 80 minutes and is pretty meaningless in the whole scheme of things, but we will take any Game of Thrones information we can get these days.
And Ser Davos is here to remind you of your own fleeting mortality.
The Walking Dead is going to include a very memorable scene from the comics and SPOILER it won’t end well for some of your favorites. Don’t click on this if you don’t want to be spoiled.
Hulu is going to be cheaper for some of you; more expensive for others.
Netflix has joined the MPAA on the heels of its record Oscar nominations. Here’s what that means (basically it helps them break into the China market). Meanwhile, AMC and Regal cinemas are not going to be screening Roma ahead of the Academy Awards.
Greg Berlanti is being honored by publicists for making all of the TV shows. Seriously, go check out his IMDB page, it’s the entire CW schedule.
The Other Two, the new Comedy Central comedy from former SNL head writers, Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider, was inspired by Justin Bieber’s hosting gig. Whereas all the performers claim he was the worst host of all time, these two had a different, more generous takeaway, and come off seeming like nice kids. Also, this one is getting some strong reviews, so heads up.
Someone is making a documentary about The Office, and we know because of Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration.
Speaking of The Office, Mindy Kaling thinks that Kelly Kapoor is probably in jail for having murdered Ryan. Fair.
John Bernthal is bracing for Netflix to cancel The Punisher.
Elsewhere, The Simpsons will probably be renewed for the 31st and 32nd seasons, but there’s a chance it might be complicated thanks to the Disney/Fox deal.
Gina Rodriguez said some dumb things about pay based on race and she is VERY SORRY YOU GUYS.
NEED. ESPECIALLY THE LINDA ONE:
I use closed captioning ALL THE TIME. In no small part it’s because I’m getting older and my hearing is failing, but there are some shows where the actors are mumbling terribly or the sound quality is rough — I’m looking at you, Manifest.
Viacom has bought a streaming service in its biggest move to date in entering the streaming wars.
Channel Zero might be dead, but the show’s creator, Nick Antosca has created his own production company. Still, won’t someone pick up Channel Zero? Shudder, I’m looking at you.
Bill Geddie, the co-creator of The View and Barbara Walter’s longtime producer, will be Tamron Hall’s producer on her new daytime talk show.
An Egyptian TV host has been sentenced to a year of hard labor for interviewing a gay sex worker. What is ironic is that the host himself has expressed anti-LGBTQ sentiments and the sex worker was expressing regret over his sexuality, and yet the government accused them of promoting homosexuality. I suppose in Egypt (and large parts of the Middle East) even acknowledging homosexuality exists is the same thing as promoting it?
90 Day Fiancé can’t film because of the government shutdown.
One of the stars of Roma will probably not be able to attend the Oscars thanks to visa issues thanks to our shitty shitty administration. Fucking monsters.
Oh no, get better soon, Bob Barker!
Wait, The Mooch is already out on Big Brother: Celebrity Edition? Like his stint in the White House, that didn’t take long.
OH SHIT, MARK BURNETT IS NECK DEEP WITH THE RUSSIANS, TOO. TL;DR: Burnett tried to introduce a banker with deep Russian ties to Thomas Barrack, the guy in charge of Trump’s inauguration. But also, Deadline reminds us that back in 2015, Burnett said he wanted to turn Putin into the next big reality star, and claimed that if anyone could convince Putin to do a show, it would be him. ORLY? WHY, MARK? He also signed a deal with Russia at the beginning of the century to make a reality show about the Mir, but it didn’t come to fruition when the Mir had to be put out of its misery. But all these Russian ties explains so much, including why he won’t release The Apprentice tapes.
Sex Monster News
The Atlantic ran a big expose on Bryan Singer and the men who have accused him of sexually abusing them when they were underaged. The allegations are horrific, and unsurprising as this has been an open secret for years now. For his part, Singer claims the article is a “homophobic smear piece” designed to take advantage of Bohemian Rhapsody‘s success. A reminder: being gay doesn’t make you a predator. If he sexually abused these kids and then shielded himself from criticism with his homosexuality, he’s a goddamned sociopath. Fuck this guy, and fuck the monsters who protected him.
Another bad man who can fuck right off: Johnny Depp.
Chris Brown was arrested in Paris on rape and drug charges, but the police released him and his bodyguard without any conditions. And now he’s suing his accuser.
Harvey Weinstein has hired one of Rose McGowan’s former lawyers — the one who represented her when she was arrested for a cocaine charge that she claimed was all a set-up by … Harvey Weinstein. Wait, how can this be possible?
John Dick Winters, a comedian you’ve probably never heard of, took the brave step of refusing to perform in a gig where Louis C.K. was performing on account of his own policy against working with “fucking creeps.” As a result, Tig Notaro reached out to him and invited him to open for her. From his interview with the Pittsburgh Current on his decision:
One thing I take incredibly seriously as someone who books upwards of 200 shows a year at my own venue and comedy festival, is not working with people who are fucking creeps. And there are a lot of them out there, lemme tell ya, at all levels of comedy. It’s one thing to have these progressive, liberal beliefs but they mean literally zero if you won’t act on them when needed. As a straight white guy who has some power in my field, I take my role as an ally seriously. I want my shows to be a comfortable place for women, PoC, LGBTQ, and anyone else to perform. In the past, I’ve shut down shows, banned comedians and stood my ground as far as drawing a line in the sand concerning who I will and will not work with.
Renewals
- The Magicians has been renewed by Syfy for a fifth season.
- Our Cartoon President has been renewed by Showtime for a second season.
- Carter was renewed for a second season on WGN America.
- 90 Day Fiancé has been renewed for a seventh season on TLC.
- Love After Lockup has been given an additional 10 episodes on WEtv.
- Saints & Sinners has been renewed for a fourth season on Bounce.
Cancellations
- Suits will end after season 9.
In Development
- A Lost Boys series, a Nancy Drew reboot and spinoffs of Jane the Virgin and Riverdale have all been ordered to pilot by The CW.
- Uninsured, a comedy about a family with economic anxieties, has been given a pilot order at NBC.
- Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant, a memoir by one of my favorite cartoonists, Roz Chast, is being adapted into a half-hour series.
- The Line Between is being developed into a TV series.
- Reborn, a comic sci-fi series, is being developed for Netflix.
- The Coop, some sort of interactive comedy series is being developed for something called Eko.
- Tarek El Moussa is working on a new pilot for HGTV.
- The BBC has ordered a documentary about Oscar Wilde.
- 25 Words or Less, a game show hosted by Meredith Vieira, will go into syndication this fall.
- Justice is coming to Netflix. It’s the streamer’s first series from the UAE.
- Kade’s Dark Embrace and Damon, two vampire novels are being turned into TV series.
- Emily Kapnek, the creator of Splitting UP Together, has signed an overall deal with ABC.
Casting News
- Chandler Riggs is joining A Million Little Things in a recurring role.
- Kate Winslet will star in HBO’s Mare of Easttown.
- Kristen Scott Thomas and Fiona Shaw will guest star in Fleabag.
- Joan Collins will guest star on Hawaii Five-0.
- Joanna Garcia Swisher will star in the ABC pilot Happy Accident.
- Jennifer Esposito will be joining Law & Order: SVU.
- David Nykl is joining The Sleepers on HBO Europe.
- Bradley James will star in Netflix’s animated World War II series, The Liberators.
- Michael Gandolfini, James’ son, will play a young Tony Soprano in the Sopranos prequel movie. This is perfect.
Mark Your Calendars
- Song of Parkland will air on HBO on February 7.
- Bless This Mess will debut on ABC on April 16.
- Broad City will return on Comedy Central tomorrow.
- Ray Romano: Right Here, Around the Corner will debut on Netflix on February 5.
- Into the Dark: Down will debut on Hulu on February 1.
- Paris is Us will debut on Netflix on February 22.
- Fosse/Verdon will debut on FX on April 9.
- Dr. Pimple Popper: The Poppy Bowl will air on TLC on February 3. Gross.
- Larry Charles will debut on Netflix on February 15.
- Studio 54 will debut on A&E on February 11.
- Tigerland will debut on Sundance on January 27 on Discovery.
- Presidents at War will premiere on History on February 17.
- Hot Streets will return on Adult Swim on February 24.
- Very Cavallari and LadyGang will debut on E! on March 3.
- The Green Book: Guide to Freedom will air on Smithsonian on February 25.
R.I.P.
Kevin Barnett, Comedian, co-cretor of Rel and writer for Broad City. He was only 32, and this one is hitting the comedy world pretty hard.
Kaye Ballard, Comedian and actress known for the 60s sitcom, The Mothers-in-Law
WATCH THIS
Supernatural: Sam has to make “an unimaginable choice.” 7 p.m., The CW
Legacies: Hope and Alaric search for Landon in the mid-season premiere. Whitney’s been catching up with recaps if you need a little reminder of where we’ve been so far. 8 p.m., The CW
The Good Place: “Various events occur, in a certain specific order.” Personally, I’m excited to see if they do any interesting casting with the four new humans. Season finale. 8:30 p.m., NBC
Broad City: It’s Abbi’s thirtieth birthday in the final season premiere. DON’T GO. 9 p.m., Comedy Central
The Other Two: This new series is from Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider, the former SNL head writers (back when SNL was pretty good a couple of seasons ago). In it, two older siblings try to figure out their own place in the world when their 13-year-old brother becomes a teenybopper sensation. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., Comedy Central
Confessions of a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes: TED BUNDY BE SCARY. Premiere. Netflix
Siren: The mermaids are back. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Freeform
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jada Pinkett Smith, Steve Coogan, Backstreet Boys
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ellie Kemper, Young the Giant, Venzella Joy
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Michael Moore, Ken Marino, Dermot Kennedy
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Neil Patrick Harris
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Chris Pine, Lena Headey, Kellen Erskine
- The Daily Show: Chuck Todd
- Conan: Matt LeBlanc, Gary Gulman
- Busy Tonight: Josh Radnor
- Watch What Happens Live: Anne Hathaway, Matthew McConaughey
THUR | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | Grey’s Anatomy (new) |
A Million Little Things (new) |
How to Get Away with Murder (new) |
CBS | The Big Bang Theory (repeat) |
Young Sheldon (repeat) |
The Big Bang Theory (repeat) |
FAM (new) |
S.W.A.T. (repeat) |
CW | Supernatural (new) |
Legacies (new) |
News/Local |
FOX | Gotham (new) |
The Orville (new) |
News/Local |
NBC | The Titan Games (new) |
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (new) |
The Good Place (new) |
Law & Order: SVU (repeat) |