It’s a busy day filled with all sorts of bad men doing bad things including sex ogres, President ShitFerBrains and Kevin Hart, but hey, we also got a ‘Game of Thrones’ teaser, ‘The Good Place’ was amazing last night and Bob Mueller is coming to town so it’s not all terrible!

The other day my editor over at Chron.com suggested that I update my sex scandal gallery that I built for them last year, and I was all, “Sure, I mean, I could do that, but I don’t know that I have much to add.” Oh, what a sweet, naive idiot I was. Turns out I had about 30 more slides to add because THERE ARE SO MANY SEX MONSTERS. Anyway, here’s the gallery if you want to remind yourself just how gross this world is.

The lawyers who have been investigating CBS have revealed that 60 Minutes was a fucking mess and has a fucking mess for a long time.

Jeff Fager, the head of the news series who was fired after threatening a reporter who was looking into his shitty behavior (which is an excellent way to get yourself fired, by the way), was really bad according to the lawyers, sexually harassing women and looking the other way when his producers were acting like complete assholes.

The investigators wrote that Mr. Fager had behaved inappropriately with colleagues in several instances. They said they believed that he had “engaged in some type of sexually inappropriate conduct” toward a CBS employee who alleged in 2009 that he had groped her. Another CBS News employee alleged that Mr. Fager had tried to kiss her with an open mouth at a corporate event about six years ago. The report also said a female employee had been instructed to drive him and other producers to a legal brothel while reporting a story in Nevada.

The investigators found that Mr. Fager had failed to respond appropriately to accusations of bullying against Michael Radutzky, a former senior producer on “60 Minutes,” and harassment against Ira Rosen, currently a producer on the show.

Mr. Radutzky, they wrote, was “abusive, screamed and threw objects at other ‘60 Minutes’ staff.” The lawyers noted that while many people at “60 Minutes” were aware of the conduct, Mr. Fager tolerated it because he viewed Mr. Radutzky as an “extraordinarily talented” producer.

Mr. Rosen, the investigators wrote, “occasionally made inappropriate sexual comments to his female subordinates, such as asking them to twirl and encouraging them to use their sex appeal to secure information from sources.”

But the kicker is that the lawyers were like, “And shit was bad at 60 Minutes, under Jeff Fager, but it wasn’t as bad as it used to be”:

“We note that the misconduct of individual ‘60 Minutes’ employees, including Mr. Fager and Mr. Rosen, should not have been tolerated, but we find that it was not as severe as the media accounts or as severe as the sexual misconduct that occurred during the Don Hewitt era at ‘60 Minutes,’” the investigators wrote.

The settlement involving Mr. Hewitt in the 1990s was reached after CBS investigated allegations that he had sexually assaulted a female employee. The alleged abuse had carried on over a period of years, the lawyers wrote in the report, and derailed the woman’s career.

CBS determined more than 20 years ago that her allegations were credible, and agreed to pay her a $450,000 settlement. Since then, CBS has renegotiated six amendments to her agreement, each time agreeing to pay additional money in exchange for her silence. The settlement has exceeded $5 million in total, plus annual payments of $75,000 for the rest of her life, according to the report.

GOOD GOD, DON HEWITT, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO THIS WOMAN?

Meanwhile, the head of CBS is whining about all of the leaks to the press about the investigation. Ha. OK, dude.

Gene Simmons is being sued by a woman who said he touched her inappropriately. Shocked, I’m shocked.

Hahaha, Tucker Carlson had a woman on his show last night who said feminists are trying to “disappear males.” 1. No, but 2. IF WE WERE, ~gestures at … everything~ WHO COULD BLAME US?

In Other TV News

Speaking of shitty men, Kevin Hart. So it was announced he was going to host the Oscars and immediately people started pointing out that Kevin Hart has a history of making homophobic “jokes” both in his routines and on Twitter. The Academy approached him and were like, “Hey, could you just make a cheap apology to the LGBTQ community so that we can make this story go away, please?” And this asshole was like, “NOPE.”

If you don’t want to play the video, he says: “So, I just got a call from The Academy and that call basically said, ”Kevin, apologize for those tweets of old, or we’re going to have to move on and find another host. Talking about the tweets of 2009/2010. I chose to pass. I passed on the apology. The reason why I’ve passed is because I’ve addressed this several times. This is not the first time this has come up. I’ve addressed it. I’ve spoken on it. I’ve said where the rights and wrongs were. I’ve said who I am now, versus who I was then. I’ve done it. I’ve done it. I’m not going to continue to go back. And tap into the days of old, when I’ve moved on and I’m in a completely different space in my life. The same energy that went into finding those old tweets can be the same as into finding the response to the questions that have been asked years after years after years. We feed the internet trolls and we reward them. I’m not going to do it, man. I’m going to be me. I’m going to stand my ground. Regardless, Academy, I’m thankful and appreciative of the opportunity. If it goes away, no harm no foul.”

OK! So let me get this straight, Kevin Hart, while you acknowledge that what you’ve said in the past was shitty, you refuse to apologize for it even if it costs you a job you called your “dream job.” Got it.

But THEN! HILARIOUSLY! Kevin Hart went and apologized on Twitter. Or, I should say, Kevin Hart’s public relations guy wrestled the phone out of Kevin Hart’s hands and explicitly apologized to the LGBTQ community:

The irony is, of course, that if he had just tweeted this out in the first place, he’d be hosting the Oscars in two months.

But we’re still not done because this motherfucker just compared himself to Martin Luther King, Jr.:

OK, Kevin Hart, that is enough out of you, thanks.

Meanwhile, Twitter has some ideas on who should replace Hart:

CNN had to be evacuated last night after a bomb threat was called in to the network’s New York headquarters during Don Lemon’s show. Some people thought it had something to do with this charming tweet that went out at roughly the same time, though the NYPD later clarified that the bomb threat came in before Trump rage-tweeted:

While this tweet may not have been the thing that pushed the person who threatened CNN last night over the edge, it’s not like this tweet is the first of its kind or that it exists in a vacuum, so. Also, and I know it’s been busy and there’s been a lot of news, but it was only 6 weeks ago that CNN received AN ACTUAL PIPE BOMB FROM A TRUMP SUPPORTER. Christ, what an asshole.

Oh, and I didn’t mention the part where this dumbfuck tweet was part of a complete and utter meltdown President Thumbs was having on Twitter that began last night and continued on this morning because Bob Mueller is clearly closing in on him and his entire grifter family ~pauses to check the news to see if anything has broken, sees that no one has been arrested, is disappointed~ but again, I would have to devote a whole separate blog post to adequately express my feelings about the Mueller investigation so we’ll just keep our focus on TV for the time being.

Elsewhere, President Couch Potato is nominating a former Fox & Friends co-host to be the Ambassador to the United Nations. Yep, that’s on brand.

Sacha Baron Cohen has invited Sarah Palin to be his date to the Golden Globes which I suppose is appropriate since neither of them belongs there.

And Candace Bergen thanked Trump for her nomination. She ain’t wrong.

HEY, GOLDEN GLOBES, THIS IS WHAT A SERIOUS LIST OF NOMINEES LOOKS LIKE.

THAT GOOD PLACE EPISODE LAST NIGHT THOUGH. First of all, if you haven’t watched don’t click on anything, but second of all, THIS, GOLDEN GLOBES, IS WHY D’ARCY CARDEN DESERVES ALL OF THE PRIZES, YOU NITWITS. Ugh. so good. SO GOOD.

But also, Mike Schur is a goddamned gem.

I was originally going to lead this post with this Game of Thrones teaser trailer, but then other stuff happened. Anyway, here it is, and it either is FILLED WITH IMPORTANT CLUES or it’s just really cool looking, who can say.

Interesting: Channing Dungey, the head of ABC who is leaving the network soon, might be going to Netflix.

Over in “Bachelor Nation,” Peter Krause and Bibiana Julian are dating and while I approve, I also just find it so weird that the citizens of “Bachelor Nation” seem incapable of dating anyone but each other.

Charlie Cox, the actor who plays Matt Murdock on Daredevil, is down for playing the role again — if he is given the opportunity.

You people really love Friends.

As for a Friends reunion, you have to blame Chandler, Joey and Ross for it not happening.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

R.I.P.

Pete Shelley, Lead singer of the Buzzcocks, whose music was used in countless movies and TV shows.

Paul Sherwen, Tour de France commentator.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

RuPaul’s Drag Race: Holi-Slay Spectacular: Christmas comes early for your trusty blogger. 7 p.m., VH1

Nailed It! Holiday: The worst bakers in the country ruin Christmas treats. Season premiere. Netflix

Blindspot: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC

Icebox: A Honduran boy seeks asylum in the United States and finds himself trapped in our fucked-up immigration system in this original movie. 7 p.m., HBO

Dumplin’: Jennifer Anniston stars in this movie about a beauty queen and her daughter who enters a pageant despite not being traditional beauty pageant material. Netflix

Pine Gap: In this thriller, Australians and Americans spy on one another at the US/Australia joint defense facility. Series premiere. Netflix

The Hook Up Plan: A woman sets up her friend with a male prostitute to get her back into the dating world. Hijinks ensue. Netflix

The Ranch: This is back. Season premiere. Netflix

Christmas Movies

  • Christmas Lost and Found: 7 p.m., Lifetime

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Jason Momoa and Mumford & Sons 10:30 p.m., NBC

Ready Player One: So much CGI! 7 p.m., HBO

Christmas Movies

  • Homegrown Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • Santa’s Boots: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Memories of Christmas: 8 p.m., HMC
  • Rent-an-Elf: 8 p.m., Ion

SUNDAY

The Flash: It’s time for the annual DC Crossover episodes. The fun begins tonight with a special episode of The Flash that also somehow includes Clark Kent and Lois Lane. 7 p.m., The CW

Q85: A Musical Celebration for Quincy Jones: Oprah hosts this tribute to Quincy, with musical performances by Stevie Wonder, Brian McKnight, Meghan Trainor, John Legend, Patti Austin, Gloria Estefan, Charlie Wilson, Ledisi, Gregory Porter, Gladys Knight. 7 p.m., BET

Counterpart: Howard Prime hides in Howard’s life in the season premiere. 8 p.m., Starz

Dancing with the Stars Juniors: It’s finally time to put this nonsense out of its misery. Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC

Christmas Movies

  • Christmas with a Prince: 6 p.m., Up
  • A Christmas in Tennessee: 7 p.m., Lifetime
  • Welcome to Christmas: 7 p.m., Hallmark
  • A Snow White Christmas: 8 p.m., Ion
  • Time for Me to Come Home for Christmas: 8 p.m., HMC

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Ice Cube, Amber Heard, Elvis Duran The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Kathy Griffin Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Tameka “Tiny” Harris, Kandi Burruss

 

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Fresh Off the Boat
(new)
Speechless
(new)
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW Dynasty
(new)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
(new)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(new)
The Cool Kids
(new)
Hell’s Kitchen
(new)
Local
NBC Blindspot
(new)
Midnight, Texas
(new)
Dateline
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Great American Baking Show
(repeat)
The Alec Baldwin Show
(new)
News/Local
CBS Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Frosty the Snowman Frosty Returns 48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX MLS Cup: United vs. Timbers
(live)
News/Local
NBC Dateline Dateline Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Jason Momoa & Mumford and Sons)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Dancing with the Stars: Juniors
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
Shark Tank
(repeat)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
God Friended Me
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
The CW Local The Flash
(new)
Charmed
(new)
Local
FOX The OT
(live)
The Simpsons
(new)
Bob’s Burgers
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Rel
(new)
Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football: Rams at Bears
(live)
Advertisements

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