The TCA’s are still happening, and yesterday was ABC’s big day. We will get to all of the “news” they broke, but first, a long whiny complaint.
The Olympics will begin next month on NBC and ruin my life for over the period of more than two weeks, and I had all but officially decided that I was not going to blog ABC’s counter-programming, some sort of winter version of Bachelor Pad. WHO NEEDS IT. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR IT. I am already going to be blogging The Bachelor, trying to keep up with Real Housewives of Wherever and blogging 8,000 hours of people ice skating, bobsledding and that thing where they stomp around in snowshoes and shoot snow bunnies or whatever all the while terrified that it could end at any moment in a nuclear blast SO I AM GOING TO BE A LITTLE BUSY NEXT MONTH.
But then, yesterday, ABC announced the cast and GOD DAMMIT, Foolish’s friend and former Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise contestant, Michael Garofola, is going to be on this dumb thing.
THIS GUY. WILFORD BRIMLEY HERE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR RUING MY FEBRUARY. I MEAN, IT’S ONLY GOING TO BE FIVE EPISODES BUT STILL. GUH. DAMMIT, MICHAEL. I KNOW IT WAS A FREE TRIP TO VERMONT TO GO HANG OUT WITH SOME HOT SWEDES, BUT I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS, BUDDY.
Here’s the rest of the cast. There are a bunch of “international” Bachelor contestants, and by “international” I mean “a bunch of Australians,” and the concept here is a sort of Bachelor Olympics, in which contestants participate in sporting events to win date cards. I guess I can’t wait for some Bachelor ski jump and Bachelor curling.
In other ABC TCA news:
It sounds like ABC’s version of American Idol is going to be a kinder, gentler one. The showrunner promises they will not be using bad auditions to laugh at contestants, and Katy Perry says she “can’t be mean because [she’s] a woman.” Oh, honey, we need to talk. And in what I can only construe as a shot over The Voice‘s bow, everyone involved says that if they don’t discover a star, they’re wasting their time. THE SHADE.
On the Roseanne front: Barr revealed that Roseanne Conner will be a Trump supporter in this reboot: “I have always attempted to portray a realistic portrait of American working class people, and it was working class people who elected Trump. So it was very real and something that needed to be discussed.” This is actually an interesting statement, and I wonder how much this had to do with ABC’s decision to bring the show back. Related: Barr herself is a Trump supporter, though she says she’d be a better president than Trump, Oprah or Susan Sarandon. Of course, my idiot dog would be a better president than Trump so that’s not exactly a high bar. And as for Dan’s death in the original series finale? He didn’t really die. (Except he totally did?)
Shonda Rhimes insists that no one should freak out about her moving to Netflix because she’s still at ABC. (For now.) In other Shondaland news: The Grey’s Anatomy spinoff still doesn’t have a title because coming up with a title is “hard.” The new series intends to show the gender diversity in the world of firefighting. For the People will depict workplace romances because it wouldn’t be a Shondaland series if it didn’t.
As for why The Mayor and Ten Days in the Valley didn’t work out? The Mayor didn’t “connect” with audiences, maybe because of political fatigue, and no one knew Ten Days even existed. In other news, Inhumans still isn’t canceled. Not yet. And neither is Once Upon a Time. Not yet.
Critics are worried that ABC is going to cancel the upcoming sci-fi drama The Crossing just as they start to care about it and ABC is like: ~shrug~. They seemed less concerned about Deception, the show about the FBI-helping magician.
In non-TCA news
The Versace family has declared The Assassination of Gianni Versace a pile of trash ahead of the January 17 premiere.
This is a very good piece about the women writers in late night and how they are changing the genre.
Eurovision will go to an all-female host lineup for the Song Contest next May.
Black Mirror has some thoughts on that automated Pizza Hut delivery vehicle.
Hey, remember Bam Magera? Get some help, Bam.
Just a little political news
During the Golden Globes, NBC tweeted a photo of Oprah with, “Nothing but respect for OUR future president.” They then deleted it, claiming it was a “joke.”
It turns out that that dumbfuck who spent months whining about football players kneeling during the National Anthem doesn’t even know the words to the “Star Spangled Banner.”
Jim Acosta has been promoted to Chief
Fake News White House Correspondent. And well deservedly!
John Dickerson is your new Charlie Rose (hopefully not in an icky way).
African-Americans watched more MSNBC than any other cable network. Not cable news network — cable network.
RT sent CNN a “Foreign Agent Holiday Care Package.” Check it for bugs.
Dylan Farrow has some questions for this whole #TimesUp movement. Namely why it doesn’t apply to Woody Allen.
And Rose McGowan thinks your whole “wearing all black to the Golden Globes” thing was bullshit.
Bella Thorne opened up on Instagram about being abused when she was younger.
Tavis Smiley is returning to television on the religious The Word network.
Roman Polanski will not be charged in the 1975 case involving a 10-year-old.
The former EP of The Cosby Show thinks that the show’s legacy should be separate from Cosby himself. OK, but HE PLAYED A GYNECOLOGIST WHO SAW HIS PATIENTS IN HIS BASEMENT. SO.
- Miz & Mrs. has been set at USA.
- The pilot episode of The Goldbergs‘ spinoff that was not picked up to series will air as a regular episode of The Goldbergs on January 24.
- The Cops, the animated series from Louis C.K.’s production company, has officially died at TBS.
- Nancy Kerrigan, sick of all the attention Tonya Harding is receiving, will guest as herself on Fresh Off the Boat.
- 9-1-1 debuted well at Fox and has a good chance of being renewed.
- Chicago Fire is the lowest rated of the “Chicago” series but is still likely to return.
- The Bear is confident Mom will be renewed.
- And The Bear is optimistic for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s chances. (I’m less so. It should hit 100 episodes after this season, and unless something changes dramatically, there is not much reason to keep it around — especially if ABC has a promising batch of pilots to choose from in the next month or so.)
- grown-ish is Freeform’s biggest comedy launch in years.
- Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen’s partnership brought in CNN’s highest numbers for their New Year’s Eve broadcast.
- Amazon revealed that their most watched show of 2017 was Grand Tour. Here are their other most watched programs.
Mark Your Calendars
- Several episodes A.P. Bio will be available on Hulu and the NBC app on February 2.
- Giant America, hosted by Tom Green, will premiere on the Travel Channel on January 15.
- May It Last: A Portrait of the Avett Brothers will debut on HBO on January 29.
- Blurt will premiere on Nickelodeon on February 19.
Donnelly Rhodes, Actor
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Kyle hosts a dinner party and the power is cut. LOL. 8 p.m., Bravo
America’s Next Top Model: Tyra is back to oversee this foolishness. Season premiere. 7 p.m., VH1
This is Us: The Pearsons go on summer vacation and I’m sure it’s perfectly fun and no one cries. 8 p.m., NBC
Major Crimes: Series finale. 8 p.m., TNT
Undercover High: In this new series, adults live my worst nightmare: they return to high school. Series premiere. 9 p.m., A&E
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Hugh Grant, Desus & Mero, A$AP Ferg, PJ Morton Late Night with Seth Meyers: Jordan Peele, Patrick Wilson, Lewis Black, Allison Miller The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Franco, Lena Waithe, Anderson East The Late Late Show with James Corden: Gillian Anderson, Sally Hawkins, Daya Jimmy Kimmel Live: Gary Oldman, Phil Rosenthal, Huncho Jack The Daily Show: Jason Mitchell The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Brian Stelter Watch What Happens Live: Lisa Vanderpump
|Fresh Off the Boat
|Kevin (Probably) Saves the World
|NCIS: New Orleans
|DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
|L.A. to Vegas
|NBC||Ellen’s Game of Games
|This is Us