Watch this 1950s TV Western that predicted a fraudster named “Trump” who wanted to “build a wall.” No, really.

We will begin with our daily Trump watch:

If you missed this week’s black-ish episode, “Lemons,” addressing Trump, you should click right here and watch it in its entirety. It was smart, moving and generous, and will go down as one of the best episodes of television of 2017. Here’s the monologue everyone is talking about:

This is actual dialogue from an actual show that actually aired in the 1950s:

Narrator: The people were ready to believe. Like sheep they ran to the slaughterhouse. And waiting for them was the high priest of fraud.

Trump: I am the only one. Trust me. I can build a wall around your homes that nothing can penetrate.

Townperson: What do we do? How can we save ourselves?

Trump: You ask how do you build that wall. You ask, and I’m here to tell you.

Of course, this fictional Trump owned his baldness, and said nothing about Mexico paying for his wall, so. 

The news media is coming to terms with the fact that Trump press conferences are going to be … different. Saints preserve us.

News analyst Andrew Tyndall suggests to reporters that in the future, journalists — ALL JOURNALISTS — should agree that all questions to Trump “will be single-part, will require yes-no answers or will seek specific factual information and will be easily followed up by repetition in the face of evasion.” For instance:

“Which is the most recent year for which your taxes have been audited?
Will you veto a bill to repeal Obamacare that does not include its replacement?
Did your campaign have any contact with the Kremlin?”

YES TO THIS.

A dumb Congressman from Texas (I’M SO SORRY, REST OF THE COUNTRY), wants CNN to fire Jim Acosta for arguing with Trump at the press conference. And Sean Spicer has demanded an apology from Acosta. This is not OK. NOT. OK.

Here’s Seth Meyers’ take on Trump’s war with the press and his conflicts of interest. Seth Meyers, he and Rachel Maddow are increasingly the only people at NBC willing to call Trump out:

And in this upside-down topsy-turvy world we live in now, Rudy Giuliani said this on Hannity last night: “It is refreshing and it is very good for our democracy that we have a president that is trying to get us back to a free press.” OH MY GOD.

This is an exceptionally well-written and well-thought-out piece about how understanding reality show tropes can help you understand Trump.

Chuck Lorre used his vanity card to ask Julian Assange to hack Trump at the end of Mom last night:

An Open Letter to Julian Assange

Dear Jules,

Belated congrats on your whole Mr. Robot thing. You promised to use the Internet to expose and bring down all the corrupt bastards ruining our world, and boy did you almost follow through. Julie baby! Boychick! The job’s only half-way done! You need to show us you’re not just another gun for hire and hose down the other mosh pit. You know what I’m talking about. The tax returns, the out-takes, maybe even some freaky-deaky-golden-leaky beauty pageant video action. Time to step up, J-man. If you wanna be a cyber Fidel, or a digital Che, or a virtual Ho, you’ve gotta stop stuffing your face with arroz con pollo and get to work. It’s time to go all Talking Heads on this situation. Burning down the house, bubelah! You’re one wikiwacky-leak away from being a hero. Or maybe a martyr. Ecuadorean potato soup, Ecuadorean puhtahto soup, they’re usually the same thing.

Hugs to Vlad,
Chuck

P.S. Love your hair, very nouveau Morlock

The Americans were going to include Putin as a character — until Donald Trump won the election. Chew on that.

Alec Baldwin wants to take his Donald Trump impersonation on the road and troll the Petulant-elect across the country. DO IT. I WILL PAY FOR THIS.

Can we just discuss how ridiculous it is that we are at a place now that we have to make it clear that R. Kelly will not be performing at the Inauguration despite his appetite for pee play?

In case you didn’t know, the funniest person responding to Trump on his twitter account happens to be Bess Kalb, a writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Not Trump, but political: 60 Minutes landed Obama’s final interview as President. I still can’t believe he is actually leaving.

Oh, and Omarosa is going to ruin one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

FX’s TCA panel was yesterday:

As I mentioned yesterday, American Horror Story has been renewed for seasons 8 and 9, but what do we know about season 7? Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters are going to be back. As will Jessica Lange, because it is going to involve “Freak Show” characters. It will be set in “modern times.” The roll out “will still be shrouded in super secrecy yet another really innovative idea.” And it may have a nautical theme:

https://twitter.com/AHSFX/status/799100237734244352/video/1

Feud: Bette and Joan will not be a campfest despite it being from Ryan Murphy and being about Bette Midler and Joan Crawford when they filmed the eternally campy Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Ok. Ryan Murphy also joked that American Feud season two could be about Katy Perry and Taylor Swift, but I would TOTALLY watch that.

The third season of Fargo will be set in modern times and deal with social media, apparently.

Lady Gaga will NOT be playing Donatella Versace in American Crime Story in the biggest casting mistake ever. What are you thinking, Ryan Murphy?

They are apparently rebooting Man Seeks Woman instead of just throwing the whole dumb mess away.

Sorry, comic nerds, Legion won’t be doing any crossovers with the X-Men films.

As for other television news:

Arrested Development season five is very close to being real, reportedly within a “couple of weeks” of nailing down deals with the cast. Let’s hope they can actually get the cast together on the set this time around.

So, that episode of Urban Myths featuring Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson will never air after Michael Jackson’s family protested. While I understand and appreciate the concerns of having a white man in whitish black face, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, because COME ON. Tell me that you wouldn’t watch a depiction of a rumor that Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando rented a car after 9/11 and drove across the country together.

University of Texas at Austin will be receiving the Mad Men archives, including “script drafts and notes for all 92 episodes, costumes and props, as well as a collection of historical ads, magazines and other artifacts the producers used for reference and research.” I saw a Mad Men collection at the Museum of the Moving Image a couple of years ago, and it was ahmazong.

Here’s the Prison Break trailer that is blowing up on Facebook for reasons that I can’t even begin to fathom.

I should have just posted The Roots reenacting this scene from The Bachelor for my recap and been done with it:

Oh, and here’s a sneak peek at next Monday’s episode of the moment when the Bachelorettes learn that CorWin has a nanny. Bless her.

Cinemax has bought an animated series from Mike Judge: Mike Judge Presents: Tales From the Tour Bus.

And there is a L.A. Law reboot in the works. How many days before the Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere reboots are announced?

Ever wonder why the cast of The Walking Dead are paid so much less than other actors on other shows? Yeah, it’s pretty much because they could be killed off at any time and have no position from which to negotiate. (More interesting in this article is the fact that Rick and Daryl will definitely be sticking around through at least season 8, so put away the riot gear.)

That’s not OK, Steve Harvey.

Apple is planning to create their own shows — but not to compete with Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc. Instead, the content is supposed to boost Apple Music to compete against Spotify? Huh.

A former HBO employee has been sentenced to 30 months in prison for embezzling almost $1 million from the network:

Fired from HBO in September 2014, she was responsible for scheduling services – such as hairstyling, wardrobe and makeup – for actors associated with HBO shows. As part of her scheme, she set up a company called Shine Glossy, which she used to submit bogus invoices to HBO for style and makeup services. But according to court documents, the services never were provided, and HBO funds instead went directly into a bank account she had established. Through Shine Glossy, she submitted nearly 300 fraudulent invoices that led HBO to pay roughly $940,000.

She also admitted that she used a car service for herself, her family and her friends and provided HBO’s account information, which led the car service to bill HBO for the unauthorized rides. As this part of that scheme, she fraudulently obtained about $63,000 in car services that were paid for by HBO.

Ooh, girl.

IMPORTANT.

R.I.P. Tony Rosato, Saturday Night Live alum.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

A Series of Unfortunate Events: Neil Patrick Harris stars as Count Olaf in this new adaptation of the wickedly dark children’s books. Below is the opening credits, and theme song sung by Count Olaf himself. Series premiere. Netflix

Sneaky Pete: Giovanni Ribisi stars as a conman being hunted by the crime lord he hustled. Amazon

The Vampire Diaries: Stefan and Damon use an anger management group to stalk a victim, which doesn’t seem right. (Final) season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Hawaii Five-0: Max prepares to leave his Hawaii Five-0 family. 8 p.m., Friday, CBS

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: Felicity Jones and Sturgill Simpson. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Bridge of Spies: Didn’t this Tom Hanks movie win a bunch of Oscars or something? 6 p.m., Showtime

Money Monster: This is that George Clooney/Julia Roberts movie about the TV finance guy being held hostage by some nut who trusted the TV finance guy and then lost all of his monies. 8 p.m., Starz

SUNDAY

Homeland: SPOILER ALERT: Quinn lives! Season premiere. 8 p.m., Showtime

The Young Pope:  Because “Pope Lenny” just didn’t have the same ring to it. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

Victoria: Here’s PBS’s newest fancy pants costume drama. Series premiere. 7 p.m., PBS

The Simpsons: Taraji P. Henson, Keegan-Michael Key, Snoop Dogg, RZA and Common lend their voices in this hour-long episode. 7 p.m., Fox

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Claire Danes, J.K. Simmons, Sampha, Jake Clemons The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Cuba Gooding Jr., Rupert Friend, Gary Gulman Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Porsha Williams, Carson Kressley

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Last Man Standing
(new)
Dr. Ken
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS MacGyver
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(new)
Blue Bloods
(new)
CW The Vampire Diaries
(new)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
(new)
Local
FOX Rosewood
(new)
Sleepy Hollow
(new)
Local
NBC Grimm
(new)
Emerald City
(new)
Dateline NBC
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Grey’s Anatomy
(repeat)
Scandal
(repeat)
Scandal
(repeat)
News/Local
CBS NFL Playoff: Texans vs. Patriots
(live)
News/Local
FOX Lethal Weapon
(repeat)
Star
(repeat)
The Mick
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Dateline NBC
(new)
Saturday Night Live
(repeat)
News/Local Saturday Night Live
(Felicity Jones & Sturgill Simpson)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
To Tell the Truth
(new)
To Tell the Truth
(new)
Conviction
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
Elementary
(new)
FOX NFL Playoff
(live)
The Simpsons
(new)
Son of Zorn
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
Local/News
(new)
NBC Dateline NBC
(new)
The Celebrity Apprentice
(new)
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