The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Rage on My Ass”
September 25, 2016
We begin this episode exactly where we left the last: with Teresa telling her cugini that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with them, but, confusingly, that her “door is always open.” Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Take a lap”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Cut the Cancer Out”
September 18, 2016
And the most depressing season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey keeps chugging along.
Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: All happy famiglie are the same”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Swimming with Gefilte Fishes”
August 21, 2016
Ugh. Dolores. Does anyone actually care about Dolores? SHOW OF HANDS: Who cares about Dolores? Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Famiglia time”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Dinner Interrupted”
August 14, 2016
For an episode billed as A GRANDE FIGHT BETWEEN TERESA AND JACQUELINE, I can not begin to stress how much of this episode is actually devoted to Melissa’s kids being in a dumb fashion show, yous guys. If I had to break it down, this episode was 5% Siggy giving her kids grief, 1% something about Dolores and a gym that I DO NOT CARE ABOUT, 8% Teresa and Jacqueline having a fight and 9,000% Melissa and this dumb kids’ fashion show. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: The more things change”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“A Life to Envy”
July 31, 2016
Yous guys. I haven’t watched ahead, so I honestly do not know the answer to this, but is this season going to improve? I know I’m waaaaaay behind, but I don’t know that I can take an entire season of the Follettos bitching at each other about Melissa’s dumb boutique, which is pretty much what this entire episode was. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: Signore Mom”
OH, MY AMICI! Where have I been? Why haven’t I been keeping up with my favorite dumb felonious goombahs? I don’t even know!
The truth is, my Meatballs and Folletttos were somehow misplaced during the move from Tubular, and I’m only just now finding them and catching up. And while I might have to abbreviate some of these entries, I swear on my legitimate citizenship and my own — not my twin’s — driver’s license that I will catch up. As Madonna is my witness, I will catch up, yous guys. Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: New year, new yous”
The Real Housewives of New Jersey
“Gym Rats”
June 23, 2013
Over a post-flu pancake breakfast, Melissa tells Folletto all about his beloved niece’s birthday party that he was too sick/bitter to attend. Melissa whines that The Hated Kim D confronted her about not visiting Teresa and Folletto’s father in the hospital, which she did! Totalmente! Sure, it might have taken her a day or two to get to the hospital, but she thought she might be coming down with strep throat (she was not) and also, who’s counting? Dai! Continue reading “‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’: GO SCRATCH, Part Two: The Scratchening”