Hi! It’s Tuesday!
Whenever I mess up an experiment I just think of what a pigeon considers a successful nest pic.twitter.com/dgUNQeDINK
— Nick Chiappini 🏳️🌈⚗️ (@ndchiappini) April 12, 2021
All Other TV News
E.R. is going to have a cast reunion for Stars in the House, and yes, George Clooney will be there.
The Nevers was a hit for HBO Max, bringing in more viewers for the premiere than either Lovecraft Country and The Undoing.
Amazon is launching an official podcast for The Boys second season if you just can’t get enough.
The CW released their first look at Powerpuff. And by “first look,” I mean a promo picture that tells us very little.
Congressman Matt Gaetz’s problems have not disappeared in the past week: in fact, he appears to be good and truly fucked. Last week, a report came out in The Daily Beast that claimed Gaetz used Venmo to pay for sex with underage girls:
Then reports started coming out that Joel Greenberg is likely cooperating with federal prosecutors, and considering he is facing 33 felony charges, Greenberg is well incentivized to start talking. And let me just stress that when people in legal peril begin cooperating with authorities, it’s not to take down little fish like, say, the sex workers involved or the guy who provided the Ecstasy. In short: Matt Gaetz better hire himself a good lawyer.
“I’m sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today,” Greenberg’s attorney told reporters. I AM SURE HE IS NOT.
This makes me think the answer is yes
— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) April 8, 2021
And it sure sounds like Matt Gaetz had an inkling that he might be in trouble months ago: According to The New York Times, in the final weeks of the Dipshit Presidency, Gaetz asked Former President Sex Crimer for “blanket pre-emptive pardons for himself and unidentified congressional allies for any crimes they may have committed, according to two people told of the discussions.” You know, like an innocent person does.
Clearly, such a pardon was never granted, and, in fact, aside from denying the pardon story — because that’s Former President FAKE NEWS!!1!!!1 knee-jerk reaction to any story about him in The New York Times — the Former Best-Friend-of-Jeffrey-Epstein-in-Chief has otherwise shunned Gaetz. In fact, there are plenty of stories about how aside from Jim Jordan and that lunatic Marjorie Taylor-Greene, no one in the GOP is touching Gaetz with a ten-foot-pole. Gaetz has reportedly personally reached out to the Former President Sex Pig asking for a meeting, but Former President Grimace’s people won’t let him near Gaetz.
Gaetz spoke at a Women for America First event this weekend, which would seem surprising for the group until you’re reminded that they are the organization that was behind the rally on January 6 that led to the storming of the Capitol. Also, Gaetz’s office released a letter defending him from “the women of the office of U.S. Congressman Matt Gaetz.” None of these so-called women actually signed said letter.
Oh, and this is just a side note: while I was pulling this together, I was reminded that back in January, Gaetz put out a press release offering to quit Congress so as to defend Former President Insurrectionist in his second impeachment trial. At the time, it felt like weird bluster — why would he have to quit Congress? if the House managers could serve as the prosecution in the impeachment trial without leaving their positions in Congress, couldn’t a Congressman also serve as the defense without having to quit? But now knowing that at the time he put out this press release Gaetz certainly knew the Department of Justice was looking into his relationship with the already federally-indicted Joel Greenberg, suddenly this all makes a LOT more sense.
The woman who first filed a lawsuit against Deshaun Watson came forward revealing her real name. She had originally filed her lawsuit under an alias out of fear of retribution and harassment. Watson has admitted to having sexual relations with some of his accusers but claims it was always consensual. Meanwhile, Nike has suspended their endorsement deal with him.
Harvey Weinstein has been indicted on 11 sexual assault cases in Los Angeles. His lawyer is arguing against extradition to California from the New York prison where he is currently serving a 23-year sentence, claiming that Weinstein is nearly blind, losing his teeth, and suffering cardiac and back issues.
Peter Dunn, President of the CBS Television Stations, and David Friend, Senior Vice President of News for the Stations group have been fired after they were both accused of sexist and racist behavior.
The number of top-performing films featuring a female protagonist dropped from 40% in 2019 to 29% in 2020, marking a decline after two years of positive growth. (That said, 2020 was a WEIRD year for movies thanks to the pandemic, so it’s hard to really say what’s going on here.) The study also reveals some good news: the number of female directors has gone up, as have the number of Black and Latina characters with speaking roles in films. However, the number of female characters over the age of 40 is nearly non-existent: “unless your last name happens to be Street or McDormand, chances are you’re not working much in film,” says the study’s author, Martha Lauzen, executive director of the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State University.
Speaking of, Carrie-Anne Moss was offered the role of a grandmother the same day she turned 40. For fuck’s sake, you guys.
An untouched photo of Khloe Kardashian in a bikini escaped onto the internet and she and her lawyers attempted to claw it back, thereby invoking the Streisand Effect (directing more attention to the very thing you are trying to distract attention from). I, for instance, would not have seen this photo if a story hadn’t erupted around it cause by her attempting to stifle it. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Khloe then released a self-pitying statement about being judged by unrealistic beauty standards. BITCH, I KNOW A KARDASHIAN IS NOT OUT HERE COMPLAINING ABOUT UNREALISTIC BEAUTY STANDARDS. SIT YOUR ASS DOWN.
A reminder that men are sexually harassed and assaulted, too, but are often expected to laugh it off or act as though they are being complimented.
Virginia has become the first Southern state to ban the gay and trans panic defense — the actual defense that says the victim’s sexual orientation or gender identity caused the perpetrator to commit the crime against them. YES, THAT IS A THING. And only 12 states have banned it. 12! Which means 38 states say it’s fine to use this as a defense! (Including Texas, obviously.)
Speaking of trans panic, against the advice of physicians and overriding the Governor’s veto, Arkansas passed a law prohibiting doctors from providing gender-confirming medical care to children under 18. Many celebrities have decried the law, including most of the cast of Supergirl. And here in Texas, lawmakers have proposed a bill that would tear trans kids from their families and put them in foster care if they seek gender-confirming medical care. This is hideous.
Today’s big COVID-19 news is that the CDC and the FDA are recommending that the Johnson & Johnson vaccine be put on pause while they investigate a very rare blood clot issue associated with it. There have been 6 instances of women between the ages 18-48 developing dangerous blood clots some two weeks after receiving the vaccine, but this is out of nearly 7 million vaccines that have been administered — so, again, an extremely rare side effect. Still, one woman has died and another is in critical condition, so it is prudent to study the issue.
While this development should be a reassurance that our safety is paramount to the government and the scientists, instead, I worry, this will just give the anti-vaxxers “proof” that the vaccines aren’t safe, and more reasons for the hesitant to avoid being vaccinated. A gentle reminder: both the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines are safe, and the Johnson & Johnson vaccine is probably very safe, too, and the best vaccine to get is the one that is first available.
Yeah, The Walking Dead didn’t prepare me for a pandemic, either.
Los Angeles’s Arclight theaters are closing and Hollywood folks are freaking out about it.
The Met Gala will be held in two parts this year: one in the fall with COVID protocols in place, and one in the spring in the more traditional approach.
Robert Durst’s trial will resume next month after being delayed for a year. Nature is healing.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 12, 2021
- Bridgerton has been renewed for seasons three and four at Netflix.
- Double Shot at Love has been renewed at MTV for season three.
- Call the Midwife has been renewed for seasons 12 & 13.
- NBC has ordered two female-led drama pilots: one untitled bank heist/FBI drama; and Getaway, about a resort that is taken hostage by a group of dangerous criminals.
- A live-action Gundam is in the works at Netflix.
- Watch the Sound with Mark Ronson has been ordered at Apple TV+.
- Save Our Squad, a reality series starring David Beckham, is in the works at Disney+.
- Trap Queen, a drama set in Puerto Rico, is in development at Freeform.
- From, a sci-fi horror drama, has been greenlit at EPIX.
- Black & Blues, a documentary about Louis Armstrong, is in the works at Apple.
- The Drowning has been acquired by Acorn and Sundance.
- Rich Dad Poor Dad is being adapted into a series.
- Slumber Party Massacre is coming to Syfy.
- Jude Law’s production company has signed a first-look deal with New Republic Pictures.
- Lauren Ash has signed an overall deal with NBCUniversal.
- Natalie Portman will star in The Days of Abandonment on HBO.
- Michael Cera will co-star in Life & Beth on Hulu.
- Sharlto Copley is joining the cast of Russian Doll on Netflix.
- Jenna Dewan is joining Come Dance With Me on CBS as a judge.
- Asjha Cooper is joining the cast of Chicago Med on NBC.
- Josh McKenzie and Chloe De Los Santos have joined the cast of La Brea on NBC.
- Mia Isaac will co-star in Don’t Make Me Go on Amazon.
- Tatanka Means, Michael Abbott Jr., Pat Healy, and Scott Shepherd have joined the cast of Killers of the Flower Moon at Apple.
- Iman Benson, Larsen Thompson, William B. Davis, Crystal Balint, and Patricia Drake have been added to the cast of The Midnight Club at Netflix.
- Mckenna Grace and Lexi Underwood have joined Just Beyond on Disney+.
- The Oscars have announced their presenters — but are calling them the “cast” for some dumb reason.
Mark Your Calendars
- Army of the Dead will begin streaming on Netflix on May 21.
- Shrill will return on Hulu on May 7.
- Chadwick Boseman: Portrait of an Artist will debut on Netflix on April 17.
- Searching for Sheela will debut on Netflix on April 22.
- Fatma will premiere on Netflix on April 27.
- Pet Stars will premiere on Netflix on April 30.
- Exposure will debut on Hulu on April 26.
- Revealed: The Hunt for Bin Laden will debut on The History Channel on May 2.
- Set the Record Straight: The Jam Master Jay Case will premiere on ABC station apps on April 15, and Hulu on April 20.
- The Daily Show with Trevor Noah Presents: Jordan Klepper Fingers The Pulse – Into The MAGAverse will air on Comedy Central on April 19.
- OWN Spotlight: Viola Davis will air on OWN on April 16.
- Retro Tech premieres on YouTube today.
- Match Me If You Can will premiere on MTV on April 21.
- Lisey’s Story will debut on Apple TV+ on June 4.
- The Kings will debut on Showtime on June 6.
- Cinema Toast will premiere on Showtime on April 20.
- War of the Worlds will return on EPIX on June 6.
- The History Channel will air the following September 11 specials on September 10 & 11: 9/11: Four Flights; Rise and Fall: The World Trade Center; and 9/11: From the Ground Up.
- Capital One College Bowl will debut on NBC on June 22.
- Clipped will stream on Discovery+ on May 12.
- Race to the Center of the Earth will debut on Disney+ on May 14. (It is currently airing on Nat Geo.)
- Derbez Family Vacation will debut on Pantaya on May 20.
Gerren Taylor, Star of Baldwin Hills
Richard Rush, Oscar-nominated writer and director of The Stunt Man
Giannetto De Rossi, Special effects makeup artist
The Resident: So, I don’t watch The Resident, all I know is that it is a medical drama. So imagine my confusion upon reading this line in the description of the spring premiere: “Upon hearing surprising news from Princess Nadine, Devon contemplates the future of his love life.” The hell? Spring premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Big Sky: In the two-hour spring premiere, Cassie and Jenny have officially teamed up, and that lunatic Ronald is still on the loose. 8 p.m., ABC
Prodigal Son: Because Prodigal Son isn’t campy enough, now we’re adding Alan Cumming to the mix. Spring premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Our Towns: James and Deborah Fallows tell the story of 8 American towns to explore the American experience as we are living it right now in this new hopefully documentary. Premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
My Love: Six elderly couples from around the world tell the story of their enduring love in this sweet documentary. Premiere. Netflix
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Phoebe Robinson, Celeste
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Denis Leary, Cristin Milioti, Patrick Radden Keefe
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Daniel Kaluuya, Lucy Dacus, Taylor Swift
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Vanessa Kirby, Darren Criss
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: John Stamos, Katheryn Winnick, Easy Life
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Conan: Jeffrey Dean Morgan
- Watch What Happens Live: Tiffany Moon, Isaac Mizrahi
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Maitreyi Ramakrishnan
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