Billy Eichner was right about Colton Underwood the entire time.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

It’s Wednesday.

Here’s an otter who politely plays with cat food and does not harass her owner while he enjoys his lunch.

Today’s big story is that our “Virgin Bachelor,” Colton Underwood, has been mislabeled this entire time. Underwood was interviewed by Robin Roberts on Good Morning America this morning where he came out as gay. Apparently, after some reflection and some painful reckoning, Underwood was able to come to terms with his truth which he denied for 29 years because of his fears of God, family, and football.

He described 2020 as a year of self-reflection, one that “probably made a lot of people look in the mirror and confront what they were running from or what they’ve been putting off in their lives.”

“I’ve ran from myself for a long time,” Mr. Underwood, 29, said in the interview. “I’ve hated myself for a long time. And I’m gay. And I came to terms with that earlier this year and have been processing it, and the next step in all of this was sort of letting people know.”

Underwood admitted that his struggle with his identity led him to suicidal thoughts, but now that he has embraced his sexuality, he’s healthier and happier than he has ever been, and his relationship with God is stronger as a result. His interview is genuinely moving:

BUT. We can not talk about Colton without talking about The Messiness. As you might remember, when Colton was The Bachelor, during the “Fantasy Suites” episode, he first went on an overnight date with Tayshia Adams where nothing happened between them.

This is the look of a disappointed woman who did not have sex the night before:

Supposedly, nothing happened because Colton was saving himself for the woman he really wanted to be with, Cassie Randolph. However, on their date, Cassie tried to break things off with Colton, who, in despair, jumped over a fence and ran off the set.

The producers convinced him to return, and he sent both Tayshia and the third woman on the dates, Hannah Godwin, home.

After the show, Colton convinced Cassie to date him again, and they were together for about a year. However, after they broke up in May 2020, Cassie accused him of stalking her and placing a tracking device on her car. She took out a restraining order against him in September, which she dropped in November after the two came to a “private agreement.”

The revelation that Colton is gay does not excuse any of this behavior, of course, but it does sort of help explain some of his choices. It seems clear, at least to me, that Colton had, for whatever reason, decided that Cassie was his path to a “normal” heterosexual life, and when she rejected him both on and off the show, it felt to him like his access to the life that God wanted for him — the life he felt was entitled to him — was being denied. He overreacted out of panic and despair, and it seems to me, took his anger at himself out on Cassie. Fortunately, he was able to come to terms with the truth before he hurt himself or anyone else.

What is interesting to me as someone who has written about The Bachelor for years now — and as someone who has chafed at its rigid, retrograde notions of what heterosexual relationships should look like — is this intersection of the show’s constant reinforcement of this idea of a “fairy tale” and the toxic culture that poisoned Colton into believing that there was a singular hetero path to happiness. 

While I am happy for Colton that he is able to publicly embrace who he is, and I do so hope that Cassie Randolph has found her own peace in the wake of what must have been a waking nightmare, I also hope this story gives the producers of The Bachelor pause in how they construct their shows going forward. I’m not sure if it’s some sort of weird synergy between ABC and its parent company Disney that the show frames its narrative as a fairy tale (and that they have literally marketed previous Bachelorettes like Disney princesses), or if it’s just our culture that has filled all of our heads with some nonsense about how love is magical and transformative and can be based on superficialities, but these messages are ultimately harmful to relationships and young people in general. I could — and have — written about things these shows could do to foster stronger relationships (notably: older contestants, more real conversations about sex, religion, and politics), but it’s up to the producers to make that happen.

Anyway, I hope Colton finds love when he is ready and that he enjoys his new Netflix series, and I hope his honesty helps any young people out there who are struggling to accept themselves — because God knows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette aren’t going to help them get there.

 

Shonda Rhimes was “shocked” by the reaction of Bridgerton fans that Regé-Jean Page wouldn’t return for season two. I mean, sure, she didn’t kill him off, but was she not paying attention to the fan reaction to Page? You can’t just create a star and then be surprised when people want more of him, Shonda.

Speaking of Bridgerton, the news came yesterday that Netflix has renewed it through season four. If the series follows the same trajectory as the novels, here’s what you can expect from seasons three and four.

Amazon, Netflix, Apple, ViacomCBS, Live Nation Entertainment, UTA, and a whole mess of celebrities are among hundreds of other corporations who wrote a very sternly worded letter urging states to not write shitty voter suppression laws. Now, whether or not they’ll actually back up this letter with action remains to be seen.

WHAT, THE COMMUNITY MOVIE MIGHT REALLY BE HAPPENING? (I mean, no. Yvette Nicole Brown is “hopeful” but there are no plans yet.)

Urkel now sells weed: the Purple Urkel, to be precise.

This is a long-form piece about the hows and whys of the infamous James Franco/Ann Hathaway catastrophe at The Oscars is pretty good.

Mr. Rogers’s home is up for sale in Pittsburgh if you have $855 thousand.

Renewals

  • Tough As Nails has been renewed for seasons three and four.
  • Warrior has been renewed for a third season and will move to HBO Max.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Generation Hustle will premiere on HBO Max on April 22.
  • The Hills: New Beginnings will return on MTV on May 12.
  • Grace will premiere on BritBox on April 27.
  • Ride or Die will debut on Netflix on April 16.
  • Godzilla Singular Point will come to Netflix in June.
  • Catfish: The TV Show will return on MTV on May 4.
  • El Baile de los 41 will debut on Netflix on May 12.
  • Move to Heaven will debut on Netflix on May 14.
  • Happily Wherever will premiere on HGTV on May 7.

R.I.P.

Lee Aaker, The child star of The Adventures of Rin-Tin-Tin

Edwin E. Aguilar, The Simpsons animator

Robert Fletcher, Costume designer on Star Trek

WATCH THIS

The Circle: The “social experiment” reality competition is back — but only the first four episodes, so sadly, no binging. Premiere. Netflix

Dad, Stop Embarrassing Me!: Jamie Foxx stars in this new sitcom based on his own relationship with his daughter. Series premiere. Netflix

Why Did You Kill Me?: A family uses MySpace to track down the killers of their 24-year-old daughter, blurring the lines between justice and revenge in this new true-crime documentary. Premiere. Netflix

Michael Phelps: Medals, Memories & More: This three-part series documents each race of the record-breaking swimmer’s Olympic career. Premiere. Peacock

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Allison Janney, Ṣọpẹ́ Dìrísù, Pooh Shiesty
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Gayle King, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Anderson East
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Willie Geist, Maria Bakalova
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Keith Urban, Jon Batiste
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Terry Crews, Corinne Foxx, Greta Van Fleet
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Howie Mandel
  • Watch What Happens Live: Willie Geist, Melissa Gorga
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Margaret Cho

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)		 Home Economics
(new)		 The Conners
(new)		 Call Your Mother
(new)		 A Million Little Things
(new)
CBS Tough As Nails
(new)		 United States of Al
(repeat)		 United States of Al
(repeat)		 S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Kung Fu
(new)		 Nancy Drew
(new)		 Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)		 Game of Talents
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(repeat)		 Chicago Fire
(repeat)		 Chicago P.D.
(repeat)

Leave a Reply