No, ‘The Muppet Show’ has not been canceled, you stupid pheasants.

It’s Monday and I have electricity and wifi and drinkable water and am a full functioning member of the 21st century again, and I have a new favorite dog:

@mortythemisfit

Dinner Patrol 😎 #mortythemisfit #hustler #kneestochest #fancyfeet #shuffle #dogsoftiktok #rescueloverepeat #adoptdontshop #chihuahuafanclub #happydog

♬ Jump in the Line (Shake, Senora) – Harry Belafonte

Texas is still digging out, though. If you would like to help, please consider donating to the following organizations here in Houston:

Interfaith Ministries, which runs a number of helpful programs, including Meals on Wheels and Animeals, which helps to feed seniors’ pets.

The Houston Food Bank

And West Houston Assistance Ministries which is distributing food, and providing people with clothing and blankets.

Thank you for keeping all of us in your thoughts. Houston has had a rough go of it in the past few years, and I’m not going to lie, it’s been traumatic. Even those of us who have had a relatively easy go of it compared to our neighbors did suffer. Knowing that there are people out there who are worried and thinking about us helps, truly.

All Other TV News

The Muppet Show aired from 1976 to-1981 — which for those of you keeping track is 40 years ago. And in the past 40 years, we as a society have become more aware of certain cultural sensitivities, like, “Actually, the Confederate flag sucks” and “try not ot make broad generalizations about entire races of people.”  As a result, instead of pulling episodes of the 40-year-old puppet show that featured jokes or references at the expense of certain communities, when they recently added The Muppet Show to their streaming service, Disney+ chose to post a disclaimer at the beginning of 18 episodes :

But apparently putting this simple, “yeah, we know it’s uncool now, sorry” statement ahead of these shows — which, again, they are streaming and not keeping locked up in a vault somewhere — is what conservatives think “canceling” is:

So the next time you hear someone whinging about being “cancelled” or “cancel culture,” recognize that what they are really saying is that they think they have a right to spew their casually racist or misogynistic or homophobic or just generally biased bullshit without being criticized or having anyone pointing out that it might be offensive. 

And here’s what I’ve never understood about conservatives’ screaming about cancel culture, is that for people who fetishize capitalism, they don’t seem to appreciate that corporations doing things like putting mild disclaimers ahead of older, dated programming, or having their employees say, “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” is ultimately all about the bottom line and maximizing profits. And while conservatives might believe White Christians are the center of the cultural universe, that is less and less true every day. The fact is, no business wants to offend a potential customer or customer base. Jewish people are spending money in December for holiday gifts, too, so why go out of your way to make them feel excluded when instead you could use a friendly all-inclusive greeting at your store? That’s not a war on Christmas, that’s a welcome sign for more customers. Similarly, Black people, Asian people, Native Americans, Disney wants them to all be subscribers to Disney+, so the least they can do to make them feel acknowledged is to put a gentle disclaimer on an old series. Those customers now feel more welcome to spend their money on Disney+ and other Disney products at the cost of a few hurt feelings of some old White racists who refuse to adapt with the times. And if it gins up a little controversy that makes other people aware that their childhood favorite show is now available on Disney+? It seems like a pretty solid business plan to me.

A Los Angeles Times piece revealed that the group that runs The Golden Globes, The Hollywood Foreign Press Association, GASP! is a scam used to funnel money to its members and give them access to celebrities and fancy handouts from studios. And guess how many Black members the HFPA has? Did you guess 0? Because they have 0 Black members.

Oh, and remember how everyone was super pissed about Emily in Paris being nominated for a Golden Globe when I May Destroy You wasn’t? Maybe the studio who made I May Destroy You should take some notes:

In 2019, more than 30 HFPA members flew to France to visit the set of the new series “Emily in Paris.” While there, Paramount Network treated the group to a two-night stay at the five-star Peninsula Paris hotel, where rooms currently start at about $1,400 a night, and a news conference and lunch at the Musée des Arts Forains, a private museum filled with amusement rides dating to 1850 where the show was shooting.

“They treated us like kings and queens,” said one member who participated in the junket, which was also attended by other non-HFPA media. (A freelance contributor to The Times also visited the show’s set and interviewed its creator, Darren Star.)

Again, for the folks in the back: THE GOLDEN GLOBES ARE BULLSHIT AND NO ONE SHOULD TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY.

Senators Kings froze to death in their castles, same as the shepherds in their huts. Except for those kings who fled to Cancun.

Thank you, Kacey Musgraves:

And one last Ted Cruz bit of business — our community welcomed him home.

The Office has paid off for Peacock: it’s been the biggest driver of subscriptions for the paid tiers.

The Simpsons paid tribute to Edna Krabappel and the actress who portrayed her in last night’s episode with Marcia Wallace’s actual voice.

Discovery+’s launch has been on track with what they expected: 11 million subscribers so far, and on pace to hit 12 million by the end of this month. Still, their cable subscribers are none too pleased that the networks seem to be putting all their new material behind the streamer’s paywall, and while I don’t blame them, I recognize that this is the future of television: the networks are trying to move all of us away from cable and into streaming. 

Someone is the queen of shade here, and I think it might be Meghan Markle.

Samantha isn’t going to be the only no-show in the Sex and the City reboot.

Pat Sajak done messed up. And in other Wheel of Fortune news — it’s not Vanna White’s first game show.

Oh god, Guy Fieri’s turning his kitchens into ghosts. There’s no escaping them now.

Devin Nunes’ stupid lawsuit against CNN has been tossed. Not that it is going to stop that blockhead from filing more frivolous lawsuits.

Love really truly is dead now.

Heal up fast, Justin Melnick!

Going Viral

No matter who is counting, we have at least 500,000 Americans dead from COVID-19 now. The good news is that the number of new cases fell below 100,000 for the first time in months — in fact, the 14-day average has dropped by 44% which is stunning — and hospitals are seeing the pressure ease. Keep wearing those masks, keep washing your hands, and please get the vaccine — when you can, whenever that will be — and ignore unscientific nonsense.

President Biden will be honoring the half a million lost tonight at the White House with a candle lighting ceremony. Imagine that: a President acknowledging and mourning our great loss.

The entertainment industry is begging the Senate for federal aid for pandemic insurance. Good luck with that.

This is some inside baseball but some of you nerds might be interested: thanks to pandemic-related shutdowns and slowdowns on production, Fox has the youngest viewer base — even younger than The CW — right now. It won’t last now that The CW’s programming is returning, though.

South ParQ The Vaccination Special will air on MTV2 on March 10.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Law & Order: Organized Crime will debut on NBC on April 1.
  • The Mosquito Coast will debut on Apple TV+ on April 30.
  • Mythic Quest will return on Apple TV+ on May 7.
  • Invincible debuts on Amazon on March 26.
  • Holmes Family Effect will air over two nights on Fox on March 16 and March 23.
  • The Gloaming will premiere on Starz on March 21.
  • Country Comfort will premiere on Netflix on March 19.
  • Secrets of Sulphur Springs will premiere on Disney+ on February 26.

R.I.P.

WATCH THIS

Beartown: In this Swedish series, a junior hockey team is at the heart of a dark secret that tears a small town apart. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

The Bachelor: The dreaded hometowns come to the resort. 7 p.m., ABC

Flags of Our Fathers: The anniversary of the day the U.S. soldiers raised the flag on Iwo Jima in that iconic photo is tomorrow. In case you were wondering. 5:00 p.m., HBO Zone West

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Shailene Woodley, Henry Louis Gates Jr., Kenice Mobley
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Pete Buttigieg, the Hold Steady, Raghav Mehrotra
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Bill Gates, Tune-Yards
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Kristen Wiig, Annie Mumolo, Masego featuring Don Toliver
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Hugh Grant, Teyonah Parris, Passenger
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Wanda Sykes
  • Watch What Happens Live: “Below Deck” Reunion Show
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Bob the Drag Queen

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)
Bob ♥ Abishola
(new)
All Rise
(new)
Bull
(new)
CW All American
(new)
Black Lightning
(new)
Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)
9-1-1: Lone Star
(new)
News/Local
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
(new)
Ellen’s Game of Games
(new)
The Wall
(new)

4 thoughts on “No, ‘The Muppet Show’ has not been canceled, you stupid pheasants.

  1. So this was interesting. We still pay Xfinity too much money and haven’t cut the chord yet. The Hitmans Bodyguard came on The Paramount channel over the weekend. I tried to record it so my boys could watch the edited version and it would not let me. In fact I cannot record anything from Paramount on my DVR.

    1. That is super weird. I poked around and it sounds like it’s not an Xfinity – Paramount issue, it’s a tech problem. Here’s a whole forum of people across the country complaining that their DVRs weren’t recording different cable channels beginning in November and going through this month. It looks like you might need an account reset?: https://forums.xfinity.com/t5/X1/Xfinity-DVR-refusing-to-record-shows/td-p/3387658

      Hope this helps!

      -T

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