I am still laughing about the Tulsa rally, guys.
How to empty seat pic.twitter.com/SxDJ5M1sdN
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 22, 2020
Macy’s, unable to hold a traditional fireworks extravaganza because of the Rona, has announced that, instead, they would hold five-minute fireworks shows in each of New York City’s five boroughs over the course of five nights, and SURPRISE! they won’t be announced beforehand so as to prevent crowds from gathering.
HEY, MACY’S. I get that you feel like you need to do some fireworks and COVID-19 has put a real hink in your plans, BUT NO ONE IS ASKING FOR SURPRISE FIREWORKS SHOWS. AND NO ONE IS ASKING FOR A WEEK OF SURPRISE FIREWORKS SHOWS, JESUS CHRIST. READ THE ROOM.
For those of you who didn’t know, there is a weird thing going on in New York City in particular but also Los Angeles and Oakland where people are shooting off fireworks in the middle of the night and there is a lot of suspicion that it could be a coordinated effort by cops to disorient people — particularly people of color. Others think this is all just a wacky conspiracy theory, and that people are just bored and cooped up. I was leaning towards that line of thought myself until I saw this completely insane video from Harlem a couple of nights ago:
— Jeo (@fromzerotojeo) June 22, 2020
What. The. Actual. Fuck. But also? NO SURPRISE FIREWORK SHOWS. 2020 DOES NOT NEED SURPRISE FIREWORK SHOWS.
🎶Look at the fireworks🎵
🎶Look at the fireworks🎵
🎶Actually thats enouuuugh🎵
-Heights 2020 rewrite
— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) June 23, 2020
COVID-19 numbers are skyrocketing here in the States and we are now looking at up to 145,000 dead Americans by July 11. At that rate, we could have 200,000 dead by early September. This is absolutely horrifying and infuriating and for the LOVE OF GOD, my fellow Texans, STAY THE FUCK HOME. AT THE VERY LEAST, WEAR A GODDMANED MASK.
Jacksonville doesn’t want your death convention, GOP. I’ve mentioned it here before, but may I suggest again: cruise ships. If y’all are so determined to spread this shit around, why not do it in the most efficient manner possible? And on the flip side, if you’re not willing to have it on a cruise ship, why not?
Homemade, a short-film anthology from directors all around the world including Larraín, Paolo Sorrentino, Ladj Ly, Naomi Kawase, Sebastián Lelio, Ana Lily Amirpour, Kristen Stewart, and Maggie Gyllenhaal made in quarantine, has been set at Netflix.
The British soap Coronation Street will address coronavirus in this next season. (I mean, it’s right there in the title.)
MLB is going to go with a shortened 2020 season, it looks like. We will see.
Tennis star Novak Djokovic has tested positive for COVID-19. And I would say this is highly ironic considering he announced he wouldn’t take a vaccine if one comes along and then ORGANIZED A TENNIS TOURNAMENT that spread the virus to a bunch of players and attendees, but that’s not ironic, that is 100% PREDICTABLE. What a fucking idiot.
Apple Watches will now help you wash your hands for the full recommended 20 seconds.
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run is skipping theaters altogether and will be available on VOD in early 2021.
Fandango is going to begin offering COVID-19 safety information about theaters on their app and website.
Black Lives Matter
“As we strive to do the work and do better in regards to race in America, we believe that these episodes featuring actors in race-changing makeup are best taken out of circulation,” Fey wrote in a letter to each of the platforms. “I understand now that ‘intent’ is not a free pass for white people to use these images. I apologize for pain they have caused. Going forward, no comedy-loving kid needs to stumble on these tropes and be stung by their ugliness. I thank NBCUniversal for honoring this request.”
Bowen Yang addressed Megan Amram’s racist tweets in a long, thoughtful, and forgiving tweet thread that he has since taken down. I can only assume he was met with less thoughtful and forgiving responses.
Kids, Race & Unity: A Nick News Special, a special on race, will be hosted by Alicia Keys and air on Nickelodeon on Mondy.
All Other TV News
And speaking of, you guys, I don’t know why this keeps needing to be said, but it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY there will ever be another season of Watchmen. And, y’all? THAT’S FOR THES BEST.
Floor is Lava is the most-watched title on Netflix right now, but do you know what it dethroned? Hint: It’s Polish.
If you are one of the six people who watched the recap of Ben Higgins season of The Bachelor last night, you might be interested to know what happened to some of the more memorable contestants. Here ya go.
Melissa King is the best chef on Top Chef ever, and I will not entertain arguments to the contrary.
They once considered crucifying Michael Scott on The Office, which is really only a step below riding a horse off of Niagra Falls, so.
Oh great, Hulu is promising to make interactive ads.
As I have mentioned here before, Georgia is second only to California in the number of productions that take place in their states, thanks to a generous tax credit. This creates a few problems, however, when the red state’s politics bump up against blue state values. See: Heartbeat Abortion Bill. Anyway, the legislature is rethinking the tax credit now that the state is facing budget cuts thanks to COVID-19, so Hollywood might not have to worry about choosing between protecting liberal values and saving money much longer.
An old clip of Megan Fox talking about how Michael Bay sexualized her as a 15-year-ol has found new life recently.
clip from 2009 where megan fox tells a story about michael bay sexualising her as a 15 y/o
the crowd laughs, and kimmel makes gross jokes
teen girls being preyed on by older men has never been taken seriously and still isn’t pic.twitter.com/t1rF80UTj1
— liz w 🧸 (@reservoird0gs) June 21, 2020
- It’s FINALLY official: Lucifer has been renewed for a sixth and final season at Netflix.
- Animated series The Great North has been renewed for a second season at Fox before the first season has debuted.
- Amphibia has been renewed for a third season at Disney Channel.
- NBC is very close to ordering to series two of their pilot orders: Debris and La Brea. They announced they will film pilots of Langdon; Night School; Ordinary Joe; Grand Crew; and American Auto when production can begin again. Pushed to next year are pilots At That Age; Echo; Crazy for You; Jefferies; and Someone Out There.
- I’m a Virgo, a series from Boots Riley, is in development.
I have a show
about a 13-ft tall Black man who lives in Oakland.
It’s called I’m A Virgo.
Jharrel Jerome is playing the lead.
I’m doing this w Michael Ellenberg’s Media Res. We haven’t decided on the network/streamer.
It’ll be dark, absurd, hilarious, and important. pic.twitter.com/pzOGDxMaaO
— Boots Riley (@BootsRiley) June 22, 2020
- American Horror Stories; Y: The Last Man; and Only Murders in the Building, a series from Martin Short and Steve Martin will all be on FX on Hulu instead of FX because they seem DETERMINED to diminish the value of FX for some reason.
- The first two seasons of Cobra Kai will be moving to Netflix from YouTube later this year. The third season will premiere on Netflix.
- Last Chance U: Basketball has been ordered at Netflix.
- The Anarchy is being developed into a TV series.
- We Were There, Too, a coming of age movie, is in the works at HBO.
- A Chicken Run sequel is being developed at Netflix. Mel Gibson’s character is going to be recast for obvious reasons.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Babysitters Club will premiere on Netflix on July 3.
- P-Valley will debut on Starz on July 12.
- Foundation will debut on Apple TV+ in 2021.
- Over the Moon will debut on Netflix in the fall.
- The Circus will return on Showtime on August 16.
- Backyard Envy will return on Bravo on August 4.
- Cannonball will air on NBC on June 29. It officially premieres on USA on June 9.
- Helter-Skelter: An American Myth will debut on Epix on July 26.
- Last Chance U will return on Netflix on July 28.
Steve Bing, Producer and Screenwriter (this is easily the cruelest headline for his obituary)
Eric Andre: Legalize Everything: The hilarious (and strange) comedian has his first Netflix stand-up special. Netflix
Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel: The sports talk show is back with a hard look at the impacts of COVID-19 and police brutality on the world of sports. Season premiere. 9 p.m., HBO
Celebrity Show-Off: Celebrities compete to make the best content from home or something. SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE US FROM COVID TELEVISION. Series premiere. 9 p.m., TBS
Greenleaf: Lady Mae and Bishop seek a sign from God in the season premiere. 8 p.m., TBS
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Lin-Manuel Miranda, Kenya Barris, Michael Stipe & Big Red Machine
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Chelsea Handler, Andrew Rannells
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: John Bolton, Leslie Odom Jr.
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Will Ferrell, Billy Porter, Phoebe Bridgers
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Antoni Porowski, Tan France, Karamo Brown, Bobby Berk, Jonathan Van Ness
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