Netflix found its cool cat to play Joe Exotic. Maybe 2020 doesn’t hate us after all.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

Netflix has cast Joe Exotic for its scripted series, and holy shit, you guys … it’s perfect. Because it’s Nicolas Fucking Cage. There is not a more bonkers actor for the most bonkers role. And apparently, this will be Nicolas Cage’s first TV role. WELL, YOU CLEARLY WERE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT PART, SIR.

Oh, and the American Vandal showrunner is the one helming the show, so, I mean …

lucille-excited

And I agree, Michael Keaton twenty years ago would have also been great casting, but since we don’t have a time machine, Nic Cage and his batshit energy is JUST GOING TO HAVE TO DO.

And y’all. Leave Carole Baskin alone.

Well, here’s an amazing rabbit hole to go down: hours and hours of early MTV, including commercials, are now available to watch.

A STABLER AND BENSON REUNION IS HAPPENING, YOU GUYS. I mean, this is not entirely surprising, but it’s nice to have it confirmed.

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer sent Cecily Strong a bunch of Michigan beer after Strong drank a Canadian Labatt in the sketch she did about Whitmer. I love Governor Whitmer.

Technically, Daredevil could come to Disney+ this fall, but don’t hold your breath.

Freeform has launched a virtual talent search: if you’re 18-25 and want to act, now’s your big chance.

The Mountain’s still got it.

Apparently, Quibi is in trouble.

You can get HBO Max for a discount for a limited time. It will also be available on Hulu, and for free to HBO subscribers.

Tyler Cameron is not going to be on Bachelor in Paradise. Of course, NO ONE is going to be on Bachelor in Paradise because it’s not happening this year.

Extraction is Netflix’s biggest film-debut and I’m sure it has nothing to do with the combination of Chris Helmsworth’s abs and everyone in the world being trapped in their homes.

Here’s Ken Burns looking down his nose at The Last Dance.

No, Rose Byrne wasn’t calling Phyllis Schlafly a feminist in seriousness, come on.

One Life to Live actors are going to reunite on The Locher Room on YouTube in a story that will only appeal to me, I’m guessing.

Do better, Chris O’Neal.

OH NO, GET BETTER SOON, JOEY PANTS!

Take this with a grain of salt, but it sounds like The CW has signed multi-season deals with some (all?) of their shows that film in Vancouver (which is practically all of them).

Going Viral

Hello, friends in the internet! Today is May 4th. Go ahead and get that Star Wars geekery out of you now, I’ll wait.

…

Alright, feel better?

Today we are going to start with the song that has taken the internet by storm. It’s the jam of the quarantine:

And here’s a great remix, but honestly, the original is so brilliant, I’m not sure it actually needs it:

This is interesting: Warner Bros. TV presidents had a conference call with showrunners and producers to discuss moving back to production and what it would eventually look like. No timetable for when filming would resume was given, but interestingly, when it does, love and fight scenes are in danger. Also a thing of the past (for the short-term): day actors and guest stars, and crowd scenes will NOT be happening.

The NFL is still planning on starting their season on time. And I’m not saying that things won’t be better by then and that this is perfectly realistic, but I am saying it doesn’t actually matter if things are better or not — the NFL will happen and it will happen on time. Because if you think the anti-lockdown protests are bad now, just IMAGINE how those assholes would respond if you took the NFL away from them.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s reunion is going to be virtual, which — how does that EVEN WORK? I mean, I get the technical side of it, but the whole group dynamic will be off. Or it will make for great TV, who can say.

There was a Good Omens sequel, you guys!

Love Island UK has been suspended until 2021.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan thinks The Walking Dead finale will air sometime in August or September.

Everyone is watching cable news right now but HGTV is also really popular, probably because people want to see rooms other than ones in their own home.

I NEED CHRISTINA AGUILERA’S ALLIGATOR LAMP.

So many more news bloopers now that everyone is broadcasting from their living rooms.

Matteo de Cosmo, a director on Emergence, The Punisher and Luke Cage, has died of COVID-19.

Lesley Stahl revealed on 60 Minutes that she has recovered from the virus, and that it SUCKED.

Piers Morgan has stopped going to work as he has symptoms.

Madonna claims to have antibodies. OK.

girl same

Last night, President NPD held a town hall on Fox News, ostensibly about the pandemic. He was asked if maybe during the crisis he should tone down his attacks on the media, and this mother fucker, SITTING IN THE SHADOW OF THE STATUE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, said the following:

“I am greeted with a hostile press, the likes of which no president has ever seen. The closest would be that gentleman right up there [pointing to the David Chester French statue]. They always said, Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln. I believe I am treated worse.”

joe biden sarcastic blink sarcasm

Here are a bunch more lies he told at the town hall, FYI.

Oh, and of course he hasn’t toned down anything. He called for Comcast to open an investigation into Joe Scarborough based on a specious conspiracy theory that he murdered an intern when he was in Congress:

Scarborough essentially told him to fuck off.

He also went after Nicole Wallace, referring to her as a dog. Twice:

Meanwhile, Don Lemon:

Elsewhere, former President George W. Bush released an empathetic message urging compassion, an end to partisanship in this moment of crisis, and courage. President Dipshit took as a personal attack on him, because everything is obviously about him.

And President Redford doesn’t think much of Ding Dong’s response, either.

But hey! The administration itself believes that we are going to go up to 3,000 deaths a day this month. THAT IS A 9/11 EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR 30 DAYS.

This is fine.

NO, IT’S FINE.

EVERYTHING IS PERFECTLY FINE.

We’re all going to die.

The Television Critics Association’s summer tour is canceled.

The Fortnite World Championship has been canceled.

This guy tried to quarantine at Disney World and honestly, do you blame him?

And this is an interesting breakdown on Disney, and how it’s doing in general. As for when those parks can reopen? WHO EVEN KNOWS.

Has anyone checked in on Alex Jones’ neighbors recently?

Please FaceTime these eels.

Good News:

Tina Fey is going to host Rise Up New York!, a telethon to raise money for New Yorkers hit hard by COVID-19. It will air on CNBC on May 11. Governor Andrew Cuomo, Bette Midler, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Robert De Niro, and Spike Lee are among many guests and performers scheduled to appear.

Hey, at least this pandemic gave us this perfect moment.

Renewals

  • Insecure has been renewed for a fifth season at HBO.

Cancellations

  • Greenleaf will end on OWN after season five.

In Development

  • Lincoln Lawyer is NOT going forward at CBS despite it looking like a sure thing for the fall season.
  • Beth & Sam, a comedy, has been bought by HBO Max.
  • Downtown Sprouts, an animated series produced by Jessica Seinfeld, is in the works.
  • Annie Weisman has signed an overall deal with Apple TV+.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Lovecraft Country will debut on HBO in August.
  • NOS4A2 will return on AMC on June 21.
  • Have a Good Trip will debut on Netflix on May 11.

R.I.P.

Sam Lloyd, Actor known for his role on Scrubs

Matt Keough, Former MLB pitcher and husband on Real Housewives of Orange County

Gil Schwartz, Former CBS executive

Matty Simmons, A co-founder of National Lampoon, and producer on Animal House and Vacation, and the creator of The Diners Club, the first credit card

John J. Lafia, TV and film writer

Sue Bruce-Smith, Film4’s Deputy Director

WATCH THIS

Reno 911: The HILARIOUS cop comedy is back with the entire original cast, God bless them. Series premiere. Quibi

Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian: A documentary about the making of The Mandalorian to help you with your Baby Yoda withdrawal. Disney+

The Neighborhood: One-hour season finale in which Dave runs for city council. 7 p.m., CBS

All Rise: Real life invades the first season finale as Judge Carmichael has to try cases virtually due to the shelter-in-place order. 8 p.m., CBS

Bull: Season finale. 9 p.m., CBS

Creepshow: Shudder’s reboot of the classic horror series comes to AMC. Series premiere (on cable). 9 p.m., AMC

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: This comes to Disney+ today, so now the entire Skywalker saga is available for streaming. May the fourth be with you. Disney+

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Evan Rachel Wood, Annie Lennox
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ricky Gervais
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Anderson Cooper, Mark Foster
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Allison Janney, 5 Seconds of Summer
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Sandra Oh, Ellie Goulding
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Shailene Woodley
  • Watch What Happens Live: Adam Glick, Jenna MacGillivray
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Dr. Phil McGraw

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart
(new)		 The Baker and the Beauty
(new)
CBS The Neighbor-hood
(new)		 The Neighbor-hood
(new)		 All Rise
(new)		 Bull
(new)
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
(new)		 Whose Line is it Anyway?
(repeat)		 Roswell, New Mexico
(new)		 Local
FOX 9-1-1
(new)		 9-1-1: Lone Star
(repeat)		 News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)		 Songland
(new)

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