Welcome to the pandemic! Now WASH YOUR HANDS.

Viral Madness

HOW ARE YOU FEELING? DO YOU HAVE A FEVER? A COUGH? Sorry for screaming, but things are getting serious around here: The World Health Organization just declared the virus officially a pandemic, and Dr. Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, told the House Oversight Committee that “it’s going to get worse.”

So be careful out there, think about those who are immune-suppressed and can’t defend themselves from this virus, avoid big gatherings and crowds and, for the love of God,  WASH YOUR HANDS.

UPDATED: we just shut down the Houston Rodeo. Why it wasn’t canceled before this is a whole other question.

Meanwhile, your idiot President has no idea how any of this works and is doubling down on his rallies and shaking hands to prove that he has the greatest, most terrific, most luxurious immune system of all time? To show the world that this is no big deal so as to not tank the stock market (which hasn’t been working as it is down 1200 points when I just checked) and his re-election chances? Or maybe it’s as simple as he doesn’t want his own businesses to be hurt by the crisis and he’s trying to put a good face on it for the sake of Doral and Mar-a-Lago?

Also, the administration has ordered health officials to treat their coronavirus meetings as classified, thereby hampering the government’s response to the pandemic SO THAT’S COOL. WHAT A VERY COOL WAY TO DIE.

And because this is a TV blog, here’s what the creator of Chernobyl has to say about this decision:

Sex Monster News

Harvey Weinstein just received 23 years in prison for being a raping monster. He had hoped for five years.



Ahead of his sentencing, over 1,000 pages of court documents were unsealed, revealing that he called himself a “sex addict” and claimed that he had PTSD. He also whined that he was merely a womanizer and cheater, not a rapist. He apparently said that Jennifer Anniston should be “killed” after he believed she had complained about him. And his brother Bob, he not only believed that Harvey attacked all these women, but he also had no sympathy for his brother, writing in an email:

“U deserve a lifetime achievement award for the sheer savagery and immorality and inhumanness, for the acts u have perpetrated. Oh I forgot. They were all consensual. Then what are u in rehab for? Sex addiction. Don’t think so,” Bob Weinstein wrote in an email (via Vulture). “You wouldn’t have harassment, assault and rape charges u have now received, from 82 women for active consensual sex. U must be being treated for something. I guess sexual predator comes to mind.”

“U have been a sexual predator and abusive person for over fourty [sic] years,” Bob Weinstein also wrote. “F— u Harvey Weinstein. I pray there is a real hell. That’s where u belong. I suppose being you, is its own hell, if u could feel it, but no chance. OJ, didn’t kill Nicole Simpson and u had consensual sex with all those poor victimized women.”

Corey Feldman released his documentary, (My) Truth: The Rape of Two Coreys, and in it he accused Alphy Hoffman, and actor Jon Grissom of abusing him as a teenager, and Charlie Sheen of raping Corey Haim on the set of Lucas. Sheen has denied the claims.

Dear U.S. Soccer: Fuck you. Signed, All Women.

In Other TV News

Mike Schur, the creator of The Good Place, is writing a book on how to be good. Step one: WASH YOUR HANDS.

Chris Rock sounds really excited about his role on Fargo, comparing it to his Tony Soprano moment. Fargo returns on April 19, and not a moment too soon.

We have our first American Horror Story season 10 tease:

View this post on Instagram

Things are beginning to wash up on shore…

A post shared by Ryan Murphy (@mrrpmurphy) on

So, some sort of shipwreck story? Ok.

Here’s a fascinating fact: The Outsider had better ratings than Watchmen AND True Detective. So why wasn’t it buzzier? I really enjoyed the series and recommended it to everyone I talked to and on this blog countless times, but it didn’t feel like it had the same cultural relevance as either of those two shows. I wonder why?

TV Guide has a nice little refresher on what to remember about Westworld before it returns this weekend.

Don’t hold your breath for Song of the South to be added to Disney+.

Quibi is being sued for technology theft.


  • Impulse has been canceled after two seasons on YouTube.
  • The Deed has been canceled at CNBC.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Altered Carbon: Resleeved will debut on Netflix on March 19.
  • Crip Camp will debut on Netflix on March 25.


R.D. Call, Actor on Last Man Standing, Into the Wild and Born on the Fourth of July


On My Block: The complete third season. Netflix

Dirty Money: This is an investigative series that explores corporate greed (that I’m sure the Sanders campaign wish had been released maybe a couple of weeks earlier). Complete second season. Netflix

The Funny Dance Show: Comedians compete in a dancing competition. Really, the title pretty much says it all. Series premiere. 9:30 p.m., E!

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Aaron Paul, Angela Bassett, Isabel Hagen
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Nick Offerman, D Smoke featuring Davion Farris, Steve Ferrone
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hank Azaria, Suzy Nakamura
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Emily Blunt, Sam Heughan, Niall Horan
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: David Spade, Eiza González, Grace VanderWaal
  • The Daily Show: Mayor Bill de Blasio, Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd
  • Conan: Marshawn Lynch
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Tony Rock, Cristela Alonzo, Jim Jefferies
  • Watch What Happens Live: Casey Wilson, Dolores Catania
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Rob Corddry, Pete Holmes


WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Modern Family
Modern Family
Modern Family
Modern Family
Modern Family
Modern Family
CBS Survivor
CW Riverdale
Nancy Drew
FOX The Masked Singer
LEGO Masters
NBC Chicago Med
Chicago Fire
Chicago P.D.

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