Judge rules that President Joffrey is not a king after all.

Impeachment Corner!

You might think that we are able to finally take a breath in this breakneck impeachment process: after all, Congress is in recess, President Mar-a-Lago is about to retreat to Florida for the holiday and all through the Capitol, everyone is settling down for a long weekend.

Except … right before they were able to go home, a federal judge threw a curveball in the proceedings. Yesterday, Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson of the Federal District Court for the District of Columbia ruled that former White House Counsel and the only man who saved President Collusion from himself in the Mueller mess, Don McGahn, must testify before Congress about President Dumbass’s attempts to obstruct the Mueller investigation. And Judge Jackson, she was not feeling the White House or Justice Department’s arguments to the contrary:

“Presidents are not kings,” wrote Judge Jackson, adding that current and former White House officials owe their allegiance to the Constitution. “They do not have subjects, bound by loyalty or blood, whose destiny they are entitled to control.”


Of course, this case does not only apply to Don McGahn — it could apply to other folks both in the Mueller investigation who have previously given Congress the finger and to people in the middle of this Ukrainian mess. LOOKING AT YOU JOHN WAR WALRUS BOLTON.

~And before we move on, let’s just pause here to play my favorite game: What if Obama did it? Go back to 2015, and just try to imagine what the response from the Right would have been if President Obama ordered Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to not testify in the Benghazi hearings. JUST. TRY. TO. IMAGINE.~

woman with hair on fire upset angry screaming.gif

However, as I noted, this is a curveball, not just for the White House, but for the House Democrats as well. The problem is, while this arms the Democrats to serve a whole SLEW of people with subpoenas, the Department of Justice is not just going to lie down and take this ruling. They are already appealing the ruling, and this thing could drag out through the summer. The Democrats don’t want to wait until summer — they want to vote on impeachment by January so as to get out of the way of the election season. And so they are left with this dilemma: move on to impeachment without testimony from people like John Bolton who could really put the nail in President Felony’s coffin, or wait until the courts definitively rule that these people have to testify, while also giving them some “executive privilege” wiggle room.

It’s looking like they are taking option number one, Bob.

While President Wait, How Many Days Has it Been Since He’s Played Golf Since That Weird Trip to Walter Reed Hospital? heads to Florida for his KFC Thanksgiving, the House Intelligence Committee is going to be writing up their report to deliver to the Judiciary Committee who will then be tasked with drafting Articles of Impeachment.

And just a moment ago, the House Judiciary Committee announced that their first impeachment hearing will be held ~checks calendar~ HOLY SHIT, NEXT WEEK:

Meanwhile, a new CNN poll shows that the numbers are not moving in President No One Likes Me’s favor:

And did I mention the part where 60% of women believe he should be impeached and removed? Because that helps explain the last couple of days of activity from President Can’t Even Do Publicity Stunts Right, in which he tried to pander to two demographics with whom he has historically not done well: women and dogs.

He managed to bungle both.


As for the other clowns in this circus: Rudy Giuliani is somehow in even more trouble now dragging a Venezuelan oil guy into it. Devin Nunes is threatening to sue CNN and The Daily Beast for revealing that he was doing his own “investigating” into the Bidens. Tucker Carlson “joked” that he was pro-Russia.

And after insisting on Fox News that he believed it was the Ukrainians who interfered in our election, not the Russians, formerly respected Louisiana senator John Kennedy went on CNN to state he was wrong about that:

Two things about this: 1. I find it curious that after making the erroneous comment about Ukraine on Fox News where the Trump base would hear it, Kennedy would correct himself on CNN where the Trump base will not hear it, but other media types who had previously lamented that this once-respected senator would say such a thing would hear it. 2. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT SENATOR KENNEDY WENT TO RUSSIA OVER THE 4th OF JULY LAST YEAR? HAVE WE ALL JUST FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT?

crazy pills

~deep deep deep breath~

And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to just go stare at a wall for three hours.

In Other TV News

Stations across the country are planning Friends marathons on Thanksgiving. Here’s where you can watch if you are in a major market. The rest of you will just have to depend on Netflix.

Y’all, there was a Sopranos convention last weekend. I am very disappointed to only be learning about this now.

Speaking of Netflix, they recently purchased the iconic Paris Theater in New York City, a single-screen movie theater. In part, it is to “preserve” the theater, but in practice, it is a way to work with the Academy of Motion Pictures’ rules about movies only being eligible for Oscar consideration if they have played in theaters first, streaming after. More and more theater chains are uninterested in helping Netflix with this process as they feel streaming services are killing their industry. So.

Watchers on the Wall, a wonderful Game of Thrones site, has a preview of an extra that will be on the Season 8 DVDs: an animated history of The Greyjoy Rebellion as narrated by Euron and Jaime Lannister.

Between Hallmark and Lifetimes 70 holiday movies, not one features an LGBTQ couple as the lead. OF course, I use the word “holiday” when I actually mean “Christmas,” because even when the movies are supposed to be about Hanukkah, they’re actually about Christmas.

Fans of Schitt’s Creek have been leaving reviews of the Rosebud motel on Google maps, and it’s pretty cute:

So how much did Bachelorette Hannah earn for winning Dancing with the Stars? Wait, is that a spoiler? I don’t care.

Alejandro Sandí, a telenovela star was kidnapped by robbers who hijacked his car in Mexico. But it’s fine — he and another kidnappee, a French tourist, were rescued by authorities.

Love might not be so dead after all.

You guys: what is happening with Papa John?



In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Dispatches from Elsewhere will debut on AMC in 2020 and IT LOOKS GOOD:
  • 68 Whiskey will debut on Paramount Network on January 17.
  • The Bachelor returns on ABC on January 6. Ugh.
  • The Walking Dead will return on AMC on February 23.
  • grown-ish will return on Freeform on January 16.
  • Michelle Wolf: Joke Show will debut on Netflix on December 10.
  • Retro Tech debuts on Youtube on December 2.


Frank Biondi, Former head of Viacom and Universal Studios

John Simon, A controversial New York Magazine theater critic:

Simon famously, or infamously, mocked Barbra Streisand’s nose, disparaged Diana Rigg’s build and said on Charlie Rose that New York Times critic Ben Brantley had an “affection” for “the homosexual play” because Brantley was gay. He compared Liza Minnelli to a dog, and once told Time Out New York, “I don’t like ugly women. I don’t like ugly women in parts that call for beauty.” In 1980, an ad in Variety signed by 300 people said his reviews were racist.


Dolly Parton: 50 Years at the Grand Ole Opry: Dolly Parton’s benevolent reign continues with a celebration of her first performance at the Grand Ole Opry. Performances by Dierks Bentley, Emmylou Harris, Chris Janson, Toby Keith, Lady Antebellum, Margo Price and Hank Williams Jr. 8 p.m., NBC

Lindsey Vonn: The Final Season: A look at the life and career of downhill badass Lindsey Vonn. 9 p.m., HBO

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?: Who’s hungry for rat? 7 p.m., TCM

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Sen. Bernie Sanders, Katherine Langford, Gary Vaynerchuk
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Oscar Isaac, Casey Wilson, Jon Pardi
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Paul Rudd, Adrienne Warren
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Kathy Bates, Billy Eichner
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Laura Dern, Andrew Yang, Bishop Briggs
  • Watch What Happens Live: Helena Bonham Carter, Victor Garber
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Esther Povitsky, Brenda Song


TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Conners
Bless This Mess
NCIS: New Orleans
CW The Flash
FOX The Resident
NBC The Voice
Dolly Parton: 50 Years at the Grand Ole Opry

Leave a Reply