Let’s give ABC exactly what they want by being outraged by their casting Sean Spicer on ‘Dancing with the Stars’

I know that I’m falling directly into ABC’s trap, and giving them publicity for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars, but we can’t let this go without comment. Dancing with the Stars has announced its cast for this season, and … y’all.

  • Lauren Alaina – country music star
  • Christie Brinkley – supermodel
  • Ally Brooke – pop star
  • Hannah Brown – “The Bachelorette”
  • Karamo Brown – TV host
  • Kate Flannery – TV star
  • Ray Lewis – NFL Hall of Famer
  • Kel Mitchell – comedian/actor
  • Lamar Odom – two-time NBA champion
  • Sean Spicer – former White House press secretary
  • James Van Der Beek – TV icon
  • Mary Wilson – The Supremes

Make no mistake: ABC is rehabilitating a public liar who screamed at us to not believe our own eyes about the inauguration crowd size, who claimed that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower, who asserted that there were three million fraudulent votes in the election, A MAN WHO DEFENDED HITLER. And ABC is all, “Yep! Perfect! Let’s make him do the jive!” Jesus Christ, this country.

THE HOST OF DANCING WITH THE STARS IS CALLING ABC OUT:

Of course, Spicer joining DWTS is keeping in his long, storied tradition of lying:

Oh, and just to add insult to fucking injury, Spicer will be paid $125,000 for the opportunity to spit-shine his image. Coooool.

The New York Times‘ James Poniewozik gets it:

To treat Spicer, and his reason for notoriety, as a harmless joke is to whitewash the harm of what he did, which was to say things so absurdly false that he invited his political side to join him in denying their own eyeballs, to encourage people to believe that facts don’t matter if they hurt your team.

To put him on a silly reality show is to say that he committed a silly offense and that you’re silly if you still make a big deal about it — everybody lies, everybody does what they’ve got to do to get by, everything’s a joke, just stop being such a fussbudget and enjoy the show.

Letting Sean Spicer tango onto prime time this fall is not the largest disgrace of all time. But it’s still a disgrace. Period.

In more positive Disney news, Jon Favreau’s description of The Mandalorian sounds kinda cool: “I’m trying to evoke the aesthetics of not just the original trilogy but the first film. Not just the first film but the first act of the first film. What was it like on Tatooine? What was going on in that cantina? That has fascinated me since I was a child, and I love the idea of the darker, freakier side of Star Wars, the Mad Max aspect of Star Wars.”

Netflix is on top right now, but analysts predict some subscriber erosion once Disney+, Apple TV+ and HBO Max go live. How much erosion is the question.

OK, this is fascinating for Bachelor fans: so Virgin Bachelor Colton Underwood and his famous fence jump happened because this dodo thought he could outsmart the Bachelor producers. SOOPER JENIUS.

And while we’re talking Bachelor crap: Jojo the Unicorn and Aaron Rodger’s Brother are going to finally get married sometime in 2020.

Ghost Hunters returns tonight — but only with one-half of TAPS, Grant Wilson. Here he explains why the band didn’t get back together.

SOAP OPERA NERDS: All My Children‘s Michael E. Knight is joining General Hospital in a “mystery role.” YAY!

Tucker Carlson continues to shed advertisers. GOOD.

Brian Karem, that Playboy reporter and CNN contributor who got into a fight with Sebastian Fascist Gorka in the Rose Garden, is suing to get his White House press credentials restored. GOOD.

And since we’re on the subject, the man who stole the White House has had — even for him — a remarkable 24 hours. First, in the White House yesterday, in response to a question about aid to Israel, President Good People on Both Sides said, ““I think any Jewish people that vote for a Democrat, I think it shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty.” Suggesting that Jews are “disloyal” is an anti-Semitic trope that says Jews are inherently distrustful because they have dual loyalty to both the United States and Israel.

Then, he doubled down on … everything … by quote-tweeting some maniac calling him the “King of Israel” and the “second coming of God.” NOT AN EXAGGERATION.

THEN, out on the lawn, he doubled down on the disloyal Jews thing today …

… before literally calling himself “The Chosen One.” 

In addition to all of this batshittery, he claimed the FAKE NEWS is trying to cause a recession and President The Whole World is Laughing at Us announced on Twitter that he was canceling a state visit to Denmark because the Prime Minister refused to sell Greenland to him before going out on the lawn and calling her a “nasty” woman.

Renewals

  • Succession has been renewed at HBO for a third season.
  • Into the Dark has been renewed for a second season at Hulu.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • The I-Land will debut on Netflix on September 12 and it looks like The Fyre Festival + LOST. I’M SOLD.
  • Marriage Story will debut in theaters and on Netflix this fall.
  • Room 104 returns on HBO on September 13.
  • Travel Channel has released a teaser trailer for their ‘Ghostober’ programming. IT’S MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAAAAAR …
  • Grey’s Anatomy returns on ABC on September 26.
  • Animal Kingdom will return on TNT in 2020.

WATCH THIS

Ghost Hunters: Alright, so it’s not the entire TAPS team, it’s just Grant. In fact, Jason, Dave, and Steve are going to be staring in their own ghost series, Ghost Nation, over on Travel Channel in October, and I have A LOT of legal questions about how this all went down, but the bottom line is GHOST HUNTERS IS BACK! (SORTA!) Series premiere. 7 p.m., A&E

Psychic Kids: So, people who used to be psychic kids mentor other kids who have psychic abilities in this new series. Sort of like that old show: Psychic Kids: Children of the Paranormal. Series premiere.  9 p.m., A&E

This Way Up: Hey, it’s another British comedy produced by the wonderful Sharon Horgan (Catastrophe), but starring and written by Aisling Bea. Hulu

Hyperdrive: Like American Ninja Warrior but with cars. And produced by … Charlize Theron? OK. Series premiere. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Conan: Fred Armisen
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Arturo Castro

 

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
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