Any day that begins with Roger Stone being arrested is a good goddamn day.

Good morning! And what a good morning it is as we all woke up to learn that Roger Stone, Trump’s dirty trickster, bucket of hagfish slime and possible (probable) connection to Wikileaks, was arrested by FBI and indicted for lying to Congress, obstruction and witness tampering –including threatening a dog, and methinks the fun is just beginning for Mr. Dick on his Back. Stone’s arrest was a long time coming, and while these indictments don’t put us directly inside the Trump campaign, we are AWFULLY close.

For instance, according to the indictment, “a senior Trump official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases and whatever other damaging information Organization I (Wikileaks) had regarding the Clinton Campaign,” and “On or about October 7, 2016, Organization 1 released the first set of emails stolen from the Clinton Campaign chairman. Shortly after Organization 1’s release, an associate of the highranking Trump Campaign official sent a text message to STONE that read “well done.”

According to news sources this Trump official was Steve Bannon, but note the language in the first quote: “WAS DIRECTED.” O RLY? BY WHOM?

CNN somehow got wind that an arrest was going to happen this morning and were at Stone’s house with cameras. There’s some pearl-clutching about the feds possibly leaking the arrest to the network as a means to humiliate Stone but two quick points about that: 1. actually, people paying attention to the Mueller grand jury had some idea that something would be coming today:

and 2. WHO CARES?! IT’S ROGER FUCKING STONE! THE MAN IS A GLEEFUL MONSTER WHO HAS NEVER EXPERIENCED SHAME IN HIS LIFE! FUCK HIM!

NERVOUS, DONNIE?

Anyway, watch Stone get arrested and keep in mind that these FBI agents were working without pay. Delicious.

In non-Russia investigation news, somehow I failed to mention that President Coward caved to Nancy Pelosi on the State of the Union and agreed to not have it until the government reopens. ART OF THE DEAL!

And speaking of the shutdown, first Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross said he didn’t understand why furloughed workers were going to food banks and not just getting themselves a loan. When asked about Ross’ completely – comment, Trump managed to make it worse:

“’Local people know who they are, when they go for groceries and everything else,’ Trump said after being asked about Ross’ statements. ‘And I think what Wilbur was probably trying to say is that they will work along,'” and “If you have mortgages, the mortgagees, the folks collecting the interest and all of those things, they work along.” DO THEY? DO THEY “WORK ALONG?”

LOL, these idiots are all going to jail.

In other TV news

THAT GOOD PLACE FINALE LAST NIGHT, Y’ALL, I’M STILL IN MY FEELS. Anyway, Kristen Bell was told how the series will end but has forgotten it. Sure you have, Bell.

Broad City returned last night, and here are the best recurring gags from the past four seasons. (Kirk Steele is my personal favorite.)

Killing Eve is — somehow — going to go darker in season two. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

The GLAAD Media Awards have released their nominees. Pose, Schitt’s Creek and Vida are among the first-time nominees.

I have actually been thinking for a while now that it’s weird that Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski aren’t in the same studio as the rest of the Morning Joe panel. So where are they? Read this Washington Post reporter’s Twitter thread to reveal the SHOCKING truth (Spoiler: it’s Florida.):

This tweet is not about an Outsiders remake, apparently. No word what it is about, though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The supposed cast list for the Breaking Bad movie includes Jonathan Banks, Jesse Plemons, Krysten Ritter and Bryan Cranston. INTERESTING.

Queer Eye is going to film some episodes in Japan. This is called a Reverse Kondo.

Here’s Duckie as Lex Luthor.

This is the medical marijuana ad you won’t be seeing during the Super Bowl. It’s very moving, actually.

Coca-Cola isn’t going to run any ads during the Super Bowl proper for the first time in 11 years.

And calm down, this isn’t a Big Lebowski sequel, it’s going to be a Super Bowl commercial:

IMPORTANT: Gigi and Bella Hadid have not had plastic surgery. Of course, they’re also like 24 and 22 years old and perfect, so this is hardly news.

Veronica’s mom on Riverdale is a super good person in real life.

Also a good human: Patton Oswalt. When he discovered that one of his trolls had crushing medical bills, he directed his Twitter followers to the man’s Go Fund Me page. Within hours, the man’s expenses had been paid by Oswalt and his fans. This is what compassion looks like, this is what a good man looks like. We can all be better.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • A.P. Bio returns on NBC on March 7.
  • The Enemy Within will premiere on NBC on February 25.
  • The Walking Dead returns on AMC on February 10.
  • Knightfall will return on History with 100% more Mark Hamill “soon.”
  • The Umbrella Academy will premiere on Netflix on February 15.
  • The Boys will debut on Amazon this summer.
  • Pearson, the Suits spinoff, will debut on USA sometime in 2019.

R.I.P.

James Frawley, Director who began his career with The Monkees and That Girl, directed The Muppet Movie, and went on to direct episodes of Cagney & Lacey, Judging Amy and Grey’s Anatomy among many many others.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: The final episodes, you guys. Season premiere/series finale. Netflix

Kingdom: A Korean zombie series set during the Joseon dynasty (which spanned between 1392-1897, so really anytime in there, I guess?). Anyway, it looks pretty and cool and pretty cool. Series premiere. Netflix

Polar: Mads Mikkelsen and Vanessa Hudgens star in this film based on the comic book of the same name about an assassin forced out of retirement. Netflix

Black Earth Rising: Michaela Cole and John Goodman star in this British series about the prosecution of international war criminals. Series premiere. Netflix

Strike Back: Season premiere. Cinemax

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: James McAvoy and Meek Mill 10:30 p.m., NBC

Tag: A bunch of grown-ass men play tag. That’s the movie. 7:15 p.m., HBO

Star Wars marathon: Let the force awaken. 7:30 a.m., TNT

SUNDAY

Rent: Vanessa Hudgens stars in this live production of the classic 90s musical. 7 p.m., Fox

The Circus: POLITICS. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Showtime

Outlander: Season finale. 7 p.m., Starz

The SAG Awards: Prizes for actors because actors can’t get enough prizes. 7 p.m., TBS & TNT

Pro Bowl: SPORTS. 4 p.m., ABC, ESPN & Disney XD

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Matt LeBlanc, Nikki & Brie Bella, Jo Firestone
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): John Goodman
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Jax Taylor, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Fresh Off the Boat
(new)
Speechless
(new)
20/20
(new)
CBS Big Brother: Celebrity Edition
(new)
Hawaii Five-0
(repeat)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW Dynasty
(new)
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
(new)
Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(repeat)
The Cool Kids
(repeat)
Hell’s Kitchen
(new)
Local
NBC Figure Skating
(new)


SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
(live)
News/Local
CBS FBI
(repeat)
48 Hours
(new)
48 Hours
(new)
News/Local
FOX PBC Fight Night
(live)
News/Local
NBC NHL All Star Game News/Local Saturday Night Live
(James McAvoy & Meek Mill)


SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(repeat)
America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
Big Brother: Celebrity Edition
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(new)
Madam Secretary
(new)
The CW Local Supergirl
(new)
Charmed
(new)
Local
FOX The Simpsons
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
Rent
(live)
Local/News
NBC The Titan Games
(new)
American Ninja Warrior
(new)
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