The big TV news over the weekend (I almost said the big news of the weekend, and then I remembered that it was revealed this weekend that the President of the United States was being investigated by the FBI for being a Russian asset and that he destroyed the interpreters notes after meeting with his handler Putin, so I think I have to qualify this as the big TV news, because, JESUS CHRIST) is that HBO finally announced when Game of Thrones will be returning for its final six-episode season. This comes at the perfect moment for yours truly because I just made a gallery of the return dates of your favorite shows. YES, I KNOW MOST OF THE SHOWS HAVE ALREADY COME BACK BUT MOMMA NEEDS A HOLIDAY BREAK, TOO.
The point is, a lot of shows return this week and for the next few months and therefore there are a solid 50+ slides in here that might be relevant to your interests.
As for that Game of Thrones announcement, it arrived last night in this chilly teaser trailer. If you can’t watch video for some reason, winter arrives on April 14.
As for the teaser itself, a couple of quick notes:
Bran is obviously not in the teaser so now everyone is CERTAIN that he is the Night King. (Note: He is not the Night King.) (Note to the note: I could go into a whole thing about this, but for the sanity of those of you who don’t give a flying flip about Game of Thrones, I’ll save it for the recaps.)
The feather is from the pilot episode: while visiting the Stark tombs, King Robert left a feather in the hands of Lyanna’s statue.
Speaking of Lyanna, the first words in the teaser, “You have to protect him,” was what Lyanna said to Ned about Jon when he was born.
If you, like my husband, were confused by Catelyn saying, “All this horror that has come to my family. It’s all because I couldn’t love a motherless child,” that came from the season three episode, “Dark Wings, Dark Words.” In the episode, she explains to Robb’s wife that she blames herself for her family’s misfortune because she never fulfilled a promise to the Old Gods to make sure Jon was legitimized by Ned. (Of course, Ned could have just done that his damn self, but whatever.) It should be noted that there is not — at least to my knowledge — a statue to Cat in the Stark tomb as I believe you have to be a blood Stark to merit one.
The final words are from Ned himself, telling Jon, “You are a Stark. You might not have my name, but you have my blood.” So, obviously, this season is going to be largely driven by the news that (SPOILER! EXCEPT NOT AT ALL!) Jon is both a Stark and a Targaryen AND the legitimate heir to the Iron Throne. Look out, Dany.
In Other TV News
Netflix is being sued over Black Mirror: Bandersnatch for trademark infringement by Chooseco, LLC, the company that owns “Choose Your Own Adventure.” There are a number of ways this could go. I’M SORRY, I COULDN’T RESIST. Speaking of “Bandersnatch,” there are scenes you’ll never be able to access no matter what which is the most Black Mirror thing ever.
Maroon 5 is officially the Super Bowl Halftime act and will perform along with Travis Scott and Big Boi.
Megyn Kelly and NBC have finally, officially broken up. And she is getting alllllll her money.
Look at this guy over here defending True Detective season two. Oh, honey, no. It wasn’t bad because season one was good, it was bad because IT WAS BAAAAAAD.
Meanwhile, here are some allusions you might have missed in the first couple of episodes of True Detective, and the three real murder cases that influenced the show.
I thoroughly enjoyed Dirty John and I’m not ashamed to admit it. If you watched it, too, here is an update on the real people involved.
Here’s what season three of The Handmaid’s Tale is going to focus on, if you want to be a teeny bit spoiled.
That time Saved by the Bell compared Donald Trump to Freddy Krueger and Jason from Friday the 13th.
Korean TV is taking American TV by storm — if “by storm” you mean two popular-(ish) shows, The Good Doctor and The Masked Singer are both based on Korean series. Anyway, here are some other Korean series that might be popular over here.
Count me as among those who would be interested in buying a Pineapple Slut t-shirt.
There’s at least one stand-up comedian who hasn’t gone to Netflix, and he explains why. It does beg the question, how much are comedians being paid for these specials?
CBS announced their 2020 Election team and people noticed that it lacked … something.
Congratulations, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger!
Looks like Arie and that Lauren he dumped Becca for are either married now or about to be married.
Now Roseanne Barr is blaming her firing on anti-semitism.
Pull it together, Tom Sizemore.
#MeToo
God dammit, Jeanne Garofola. Here are some awful things she said on a podcast last week about #MeToo and Louis C.K. that made some people very angry (and for good reason):
On #MeToo:
When it comes to the #MeToo movement, I think it’s okay to question the source. It should transcend gender. It’s human rights. Cause if you don’t, anyone can be accused of anything at any time. And if you’re not allowed to question that — I can say right now ‘I’ve got pictures of you molesting a child. Don’t question me!’ You know what I mean? Don’t question the questioner! Then it’s a ‘Twilight Zone’ episode. And I think in any movement, for human rights, you’ve got to transcend gender, and you’ve got to consider who’s making the accusation and why and when, because it matters.
On Louis C.K.:
Leave Louis C.K. alone. Enough with that. And again, there are so many issues we gotta be motivated on. He’s been my friend — and I stand by that — he’s been my friend since 1985, and I think he has suffered. And when he performs at the Comedy Cellar and people get all irate, if nothing else, care about his daughters. If nothing else — if you can find no compassion for him, which I think you should — think about how his daughters, who hear all of this stuff, feel. Why don’t you leave him alone for them if you’re so women-empowering?
And when the hosts of the podcast called her out for these comments on Louis C.K., things got tense!
This is like talking about Israel. But I do believe when you’re a friend with someone, and if you think that they have suffered — I don’t believe in kicking a person when they’re down.
I mean, you can still be friends with someone but you can also still acknowledge what they did.
It’s not mutually exclusive. Did I say I didn’t acknowledge what they did? I’m just saying — and also, are there no other issues?
We can multitask…
But the thing is, why? Why? What is your stake in it that people wanna keep going back?
To let people know they can’t just rip their dick out in front of people because they can! That is the stake. When I …[crosstalk] …in a room and you have a bigger position than me, you don’t just get to wag your dick at me because you can.
Okay, first of all, that’s not what he did. And also, you weren’t there … This is so unfair, because it’s another thing where people get bullied.
Holy God, this is a lot of bullshit to wade through. First of all: 1. I have yet to hear of a single famous man’s life or career being ruined by the #MeToo movement who didn’t fully deserve it. Take John Lasseter for instance. Everyone agrees he was a gross creep who hindered the careers of women who worked for him, but he’s already been hired by a new studio. How has he been hurt? And then there’s Louis C.K. who has been busily booking gigs after admitting to the allegations against him. I’m just not seeing a pitchforks and torches situation emerging here. And as Pajiba points out: remember when that conservative troll Jacob Wohl tried to gin up false sexual harassment allegations against Robert Mueller, and Mueller’s response was not “WHERE IS THE DUE PROCESS?!??” but instead, “Hey, FBI, please investigate these allegations.” Because I remember that.
As for Louis C.K. and the “THINK OF THE CHILDREN” crap that Garofalo is spewing here, you know who should have been thinking about Louis C.K.’s kids in this whole mess? LOUIS FUCKING C.K.
And for “bullying” and “kicking people when they’re down,” all that is happening here is that Louis C.K. has decided that is it time that he emerge from his self-imposed exile and other people think that it isn’t time and feel like he should have done a lot more self-examination and are saying so. No one is preventing him from working, no one is preventing him from doing his hideously ugly stand-up, and — louder for the folks in the back — CRITICISM IS NOT BULLYING.
Finally, FINALLY, yes, Jeanne, that is what he did. He did rip his dick out in front of people because he could. He did wag his dick at women because he had more power than them and he could get away with it. He admitted as much. Wrap your brain around this, baby, deal with it, accept it, and maybe then you’ll hear how ridiculous your fake concern for his daughters and him being bullied actually is.
In good news: The Rock didn’t say those things about the “snowflake generation!” He DOES get it! And I’m sorry for being duped by the story and helping to spread it. Fake news indeed.
In better news: RCA is not going to release or produce any of R. Kelly’s new music. For now.
In not great news: Billy Bush is in talks to return to Extra! On the one hand, Billy Bush is a gross asshole who doesn’t deserve a platform. On the other hand, it’s remarkable that he got fired (and stayed unemployed for 2+ years) but the other person in the Access Hollywood video, the one actually bragging about grabbing women by their genitals, is the President of the United States.
Rajkumar Hirani, an acclaimed Bollywood director, has been accused of sexual harassment.
Renewals
- The Walking Dead has been renewed for a tenth season at AMC.
- Ben 10 has been renewed for a fourth season on Cartoon Network.
In Development
- Michelle Yeoh’s Star Trek character is receiving her own spinoff.
- Emergence, a thriller, and dramedy Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist are being developed at NBC.
- Funny People, a comedy reality competition is being developed at Fox.
- The World’s Funniest Weather is a show that is being created for some reason. (Is weather capable of being funny?)
Casting News
- Jonathan Bennett, Tamar Braxton, Kandi Burruss, Tom Green, Lolo Jones, Kato Kaelin, Joey Lawrence, Ryan Lochte, Dina Lohan, Natalie Eva Marie, Anthony Scaramucci and Ricky Williams is the batshit insane cast of Celebrity Big Brother this season.
- Hong Chau is joining Watchmen.
- Noah Centineo and Camilla Mendes will star in the Netflix rom-com The Perfect Date.
- James Lesure is joining the cast of HBO’s Divorce.
- Jesse L. Martin is returning to The Flash.
- Jake Busey is joining L.A.’s Finest (which is that Bad Boys spinoff series that only airs in Canada).
- Katherine Moennig will join grown-ish on Freeform.
- Sarah Shahi will recur on The Rookie.
- Hailie Sahar is joining the cast of Good Trouble on Freeform.
- Mary Steenburgen and Drew Tarver will provide voices for Fox’s animated series Bless the Harts.
Mark Your Calendar
- The Walking Dead returns on AMC on February 10.
- Shameless returns on January 20th on Showtime.
- Billions returns to Showtime on March 17.
- Whiskey Cavalier will premiere on ABC after the Oscars on February 24 before moving to its regular time slot on February 27. You’ll have to stay up late (or set the DVR) to catch it.
- Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood will debut on Starz on February 11.
- American Chopper will return on Discovery on February 12.
- Shadowhunters will return on Freeform on February 25.
- MasterChef Junior will return on Fox on February 26.
- Inside My Heart will premiere on Starz on March 4.
- Of Fathers and Sons will debut on Starz on March 11.
- White Boy will premiere on Starz on April 8.
- Antonio Lopez 1970: Sex, Fashion & Disco will debut on Starz in May.
- Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials 2019 will on CBS on January 29.
R.I.P.
John Falsey, Co-creator of St. Elsewhere and Northern Exposure among others.
Jo Andres, Filmmaker, artist, and wife of Steve Buscemi
Mark Urman, Indie film distributor
WATCH THIS
The Bachelor: Nick Offerman and Meghan Mullally offer their advice To Colton. OH NO! DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? RUN! RUN AWAY! 7 p.m., ABC
Manifest: Ben helps clear Captain Daly and discovers that GASP! the conspiracy might go all the way back to WHEN THE PLANE DISAPPEARED! WHODA THUNK! 9 p.m., NBC
The Passage: Based on the novel series of the same name (and written by a former Rice University professor) The Passage is about a government experiment that goes out of control and turns people into vampires, and the young girl who might be able to save humanity. Lots of strong reviews for this one, and as a fan of horror, I’m very excited. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Daughters of the Sexual Revolution: The Untold Story of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: A documentary about the heyday of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and how they were caught in a weird place, trapped between the patriarchy and feminists. It looks fascinating. 8 p.m., Starz
Sidelined: RELATED: This documentary is about a scandal that ensued when some NFL cheerleaders posed in Playboy in 1978. 9 p.m., Lifetime
The Neighborhood: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Resident: Mid-season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Magnum P.I.: Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Bull: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
The Good Doctor: Mid-season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Happy Together: Season finale. (Possibly series finale.) 7:30 p.m., CBS
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Samuel L. Jackson, Judd Apatow, Mo
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Allison Williams, Ryan Eggold, Sam Richardson, Jason McGerr
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James McAvoy, Sonequa Martin-Green, Kane Brown
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Claire Foy, Andie MacDowell, Freya Ridings
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Anne Hathaway, Colton Underwood, Jacob Banks
- The Daily Show: Derek Waters
- Busy Tonight: Susan Kelechi Watson
- Watch What Happens Live: Kim Kardashian West, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Bachelor (new) |
The Good Doctor (new) |
| CBS | The Neighborhood (new) |
Happy Together (new) |
Magnum P.I. (new) |
Bull (new) |
| CW | The Fourth Annual Howie Mandel Stand-Up Extravaganza (new) |
Local |
| FOX | The Resident (new) |
9-1-1 (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | America’s Got Talent: The Champions (new) |
Manifest (new) |