The Screen Actors Guild nominations came out yesterday and you guys, I only thought the Golden Globes were bad. LISTEN TO ME, EVERYONE WITH VOTING PRIVILEGES IN HOLLYWOOD: YOU HAVE TO STOP IT WITH THE KOMINSKY METHOD, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Alright let’s look at this hot mess:
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Limited Series
- Antonio Banderas: Genius: Picasso (National Geographic)
- Darren Criss: The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (FX)
- Hugh Grant: A Very English Scandal (Prime Video)
- Anthony Hopkins: King Lear (Prime Video)
- Bill Pullman: The Sinner (USA Network)
First of all, I continued to be baffled by everyone ignoring The Looming Tower which I genuinely thought was one of the best limited series of the year, and in which Jeff Daniels and Tahar Rahim gave wonderful performances. And Peter Sarsgaard was over-the-top in all the right ways.
But also, too, The Sinner? Not a limited series. This second season was a continuation of the story and characters from the first season so while I love Bill Pullman and his performance on this show is woefully underappreciated, he belongs in Best Drama not Limited Series.
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Limited Series
- Amy Adams: Sharp Objects (HBO)
- Patricia Arquette: Escape at Dannemora (Showtime)
- Patricia Clarkson: Sharp Objects (HBO)
- Penelope Cruz: The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (FX Networks)
- Emma Stone: Maniac (Netflix)
But if we’re going to count The Sinner as a limited series, WHERE THE FUCK IS CARRIE COON? The rule is, if Carrie Coon is in a project that year, SHE IS NOMINATED FOR THE PRIZES.
And even more galling, Regina King appears nowhere on this list for her performance in Seven Seconds.
But also, too, if we’re going to nominate Amy Adams and Patricia Clarkson for Sharp Objects — which I don’t disagree with! — where’s Eliza Scanlen who gave one of the most terrifying performances this year? Why does Eliza Scanlen keep getting shut out of nominations even though she made that miniseries?
Also, no one watched The Little Drummer Girl, it seems. Sorry, Florence Pugh, you just keep getting the shaft.
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
- Jason Bateman: Ozark (Netflix)
- Sterling Brown: This Is Us (NBC)
- Joseph Fiennes: The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)
- John Krasinski: Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan (Prime Video)
- Bob Odenkirk: Better Call Saul (AMC)
Matthew Rhys? Jeremy Strong? Cousin Greg? Billy Porter? Come on, guys.
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
- Julia Garner: Ozark (Netflix)
- Laura Linney: Ozark (Netflix)
- Elisabeth Moss: The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)
- Sandra Oh: Killing Eve (BBC America)
- Robin Wright: House of Cards (Netflix)
UM EXCUSE ME BUT Y’ALL SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED KERI RUSSELL AND JODIE COMER. AND THE ENTIRE CAST OF POSE.
Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
- Alan Arkin: The Kominsky Method (Netflix)
- Michael Douglas: The Kominsky Method (Netflix)
- Bill Hader: Barry (HBO)
- Tony Shalhoub: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime Video)
- Henry Winkler: Barry (HBO)
And now I know y’all are just fucking with me. Look at this list. The average age — and this is not an exaggeration, this is true — of the nominees on this list is 67. SIXTY-SEVEN.
Where is ANYONE from Atlanta? LITERALLY ANYONE?
A few others who could have been nominated over the octogenarians of The Kominksy Method: Glenn Howerton for AP Bio, Marc Maron for GLOW, Ted Danson for The Good Place, William Jackson Harper for The Good Place, Manny Jacinto for The Good Place.
Also, and I know that the awards circuit tends to reward new shows — just look at that list above — but I really think it’s a shame we are overlooking Rob McElhenny for his performance on It’s Always Sunny this year. He’s really elevated the show and the character of Mac and he deserves all the recognition for it.
Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
- Alex Borstein: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime Video)
- Alison Brie: GLOW (Netflix)
- Rachel Brosnahan: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime Video)
- Jane Fonda: Grace and Frankie (Netflix)
- Lily Tomlin: Grace and Frankie (Netflix)
Oh my God. So I tried to give this awards ceremony the benefit of the doubt by saying they tend to reward newer series, but Grace and Frankie IS IN ITS FOURTH SEASON, WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?
YOU GUYS: D’ARCY CARDEN FOR THE GOOD PLACE, KRISTEN BELL FOR THE GOOD PLACE, JAMEELA JAMIL FOR THE GOOD PLACE. Also, Rachel Bloom for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Betty Gilpin for GLOW, and Zasie Beats for Atlanta.
Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
- The Americans
- Better Call Saul
- The Handmaid’s Tale
- This Is Us
Succession and Pose are both better shows than Ozark. Sorry, it’s just true.
Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
- The Kominsky Method
- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Well, finally, Atlanta gets the recognization it deserves. Shame it will lose to a show that is mostly made up of prostate jokes.
DAMN, SAG, YOU’RE SOMEHOW WHITER THAN THE OSCARS. And older. And more out-of-touch. Great job, everyone.
In Other TV News
“You’re going to need therapy,” she teased. “I think just the show ending is going to send all of the world into professional help.” — Gwendoline Christie on the finale of Game of Thrones. WELL, TERRIFIC. THAT’S JUST GREAT.
Jason Momoa performed a haka at the Aquaman premiere, and I am posting this as a reminder that he landed the role of Khal Drogo by performing a haka in his Game of Thrones audition. I am also posting this because Jason Momoa, don’t tell my husband.
After 10 years, Jeffrey Dean Morgan IS returning to Supernatural! He is going to appear in the 300th episode which will air on February 7.
“We’re incredibly excited to have Jeffrey back for this milestone episode, and think fans will love what we have planned for his character… and a few other surprise guest stars,” executive producer Andrew Dabb said in a statement.
WAIT, WHAT OTHER SURPRISE GUEST STARS? WHO? zomg who.
Here’s everything we know about Disney+ so far. On the one hand, I am not a natural customer for this streaming service: I don’t care about anything Disney or Marvel. On the other hand, Pedro Pascal in The Mandalorian. On the other other hand, Disney+ will be entirely PG and G, so Pedro Pascal will not be doing the sexytimes in The Mandalorian. So.
As for the potential of moving the Netflix Marvel series onto Disney+, there is apparently a clause in the deal Marvel made with Netflix that prevents the characters from appearing in any other project for at least two years after cancellation. So, Daredevil, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist won’t be showing up on Disney+ until at least 2020.
A Million Little Things is threatening to get rid of someone by the end of the season. Don’t click on this if you haven’t watched last night’s episode — seriously, there’s a big spoiler in the very first sentence.
YOU GUYS, I’M SORRY IS ON NETFLIX. STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND GO STREAM IT, IT’S HILARIOUS.
Love Actually is leaving Netflix in January. Oh no. What a pity. I am so upset.
Sesame Street is exploring the issue of homelessness with a new muppet who is not Oscar the Grouch.
TV Insider makes some suggestions for who should replace Kathie Lee Gifford on The Today Show, and … Margaret Cho? Are you sure? Have you been hitting Gifford’s Chardonnay stash?
Joe Arpaio is suing CNN and a bunch of other people for calling him a “convicted felon” when the crime he committed was actually a misdemeanor. And Roy Moore is suing Sacha Baron Cohen for tricking him. OK, GUYS, GOOD LUCK WITH BOTH OF THESE.
The White House is canceling their White House Press Christmas Party … LOLOLOL OF COURSE THEY ARE.
Ryan Kadro, the executive producer of CBS This Morning, is stepping down. This news comes one day after CBS News settled with three of Charlie Rose’s accusers. CBS is saying the two things aren’t connected, but come the fuck on.
Speaking of, CBS is abuzz over the leak of the investigation report to the New York Times, wondering who did it and why. Some people are SO MAD about it, but I suspect there are plenty of lower level employees who are just fine with the story coming out in all of its horrific glory.
LONG HEAVY SIGH. Look, I am not defending Mike Pompeo for defending a murderous dictator, but calling him a “wannabe dictator’s butt-boy” is not OK. It’s straight-up homophobic language and we can do better. MIKA.
- Jersey Shore Vacation has been renewed for a third season on MTV.
- Sorry for Your Loss, Five Points, Huda Boss, and Sacred Lies have been renewed by Facebook Watch.
- One Dollar has been canceled at CBS All Access.
- I Am Not OK With This is coming to Netflix and get this — the guy who gave us The End of the Fucking World is teaming up with an executive producer and director of Stranger Things to make it happen. It is going to be confused with …
- Everything’s Gonna Be Okay, from the guy who gave us Please Like Me, is coming to Freeform.
- Eli, a horror film, is coming to Netflix.
- See You Yesterday will stream on Netflix.
- An adaptation of The Velveteen Rabbit is in the works for TV.
- The Trial of the Chicago 7 from Aaron Sorkin has been postponed.
- Megan Mullally will be the host of the SAG Awards.
- Giancarlo Esposito, Carl Weathers and … Werner Herzog? are joining The Mandalorian on Disney+.
- Miley Cyrus will appear in the upcoming season of Black Mirror.
- Steven Yeun is going to be in an episode of the upcoming Twilight Zone.
- Joel McHale is your new Starman in the Stargirl series on DC Universe.
- Ian Ziering will join the cast of Swamp Thing on DC Universe.
- Netflix has cast its drama series The Letter for the King.
Mark Your Calendars
ABC has released its midseason schedule, and there are some things to note: DWTS is not returning in the spring (but is expected to return in the fall); and A Million Little Things is moving to Thursdays, pushing Station 19‘s premiere back to March.
- Schooled will debut on January 9.
- Match Game returns on January 9.
- Whiskey Cavalier will debut on February 27.
- American Idol debuts on March 3.
- For the People will return on March 7.
- The Fix premieres on March 18.
- Grand Hotel debuts on June 17.
- Reminder: Matt Damon is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.
- Tidying Up with Marie Kondo will debut on Netflix on January 1. And I’m going to binge it and I’m to cry along with the people on it and I am not going to throw away a GOD DAMN THING in my own home.
- 7 Days Out is a documentary that looks at the week that leads up to a variety of huge events: a Chanel fashion show, the Kentucky Derby, a satellite entering Saturn’s atmosphere — it’s a pretty good trailer.7 Days Out debuts on Netflix on December 21.
- Trigger Warning with Killer Mike will start pissing people off on January 18 on Netflix.
- 3Below: Tales from Arcadia will debut on Netflix on December 21.
- The Punisher will return on Netflix sometime in January.
- Lip Sync Battle will return on Paramount on January 17.
- Home Town returns on HGTV on January 14.
- My 600-Pound Life will return and Family by the Ton will debut on TLC on January 2.
- Dating #NoFilter will debut on E! on January 21.
- Dirty John: The Dirty Truth will debut on Oxygen on January 4.
- Milo’s Murphy’s Law will return on Disney and Disney XD on January 5. There will be a crossover special with Phineas and Ferb.
- Reelz has released their dates for early 2019.
Supernatural: The brothers prepare to fight Michael. 7 p.m., The CW
Legacies: Hope has to confront one of her darkest fears. 8 p.m., The CW
Disney Prep & Landing: It’s time for the elves. 7 p.m., ABC
Miracle on 34th Street: The original! 8:15 p.m., AMC
Sport’s Illustrated Sportsman of the Year: Look, sportsball and unnecessary awards ceremonies ain’t my thing, but they might be yours. 8 p.m., NBCSN
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Miley Cyrus, Regina King, Chloe x Halle Late Night with Seth Meyers: Natalie Portman, Adam Pally, Todd Sucherman The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Diane Kruger, Rep. Joaquin Castro, Julian Castro The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jason Momoa, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Gwen Stefani Jimmy Kimmel Live: Amy Adams, Jeff Ross, Dave Attell, Kurt Vile The Daily Show: Bob Woodward Watch What Happens Live: Jennifer Lopez, Leah Remini
|ABC||Disney Prep & Landing||Disney Prep & Landing 2: Naughty vs. Nice||The Great American Baking Show
|CBS||The Big Bang Theory
|FOX||Thursday Night Football: Chargers at Chiefs
|I Feel Bad
|Saturday Night Live Christmas Special