We will get to jacked Chidi, but first let’s talk early voting.

Hi! Early voting begins in Texas today and if everything goes to plan, I will be casting an early ballot for the first time in my life. I have always voted on Election Day itself — it made it feel special. However, I can’t risk something happening between today and November 6 that might prevent me from voting. This election is just way too fucking important. Also, it will be satisfying to vote against everything President Clownface represents on the same day he happens to be defiling my hometown. GTFO TRUMP. AND TAKE TED CRUZ WITH YOU.

Anyway, here’s a charming and funny video teaching you how to vote:

For instance: this administration is trying to erase the existence of transgender individuals, defining gender as a person’s biological sex at birth, despite this not being consistent with science.

Also, not only is Trump not backing down from his disgusting comments about Greg Gianforte’s attack on Ben Jacobs, his idiot son, Eric, went on Fox calling the comments “fun.”

“He wasn’t the guy that body slammed anybody. He can have fun. By the way, this is actually exactly why my father won,” Eric beamed.

“Because so many people were so sick and tired of the little caged, the perfect, the perfectly scripted politician who memorized their little sound bite and went out there and had no crowds, and they weren’t any fun, and they had no charisma, they had no personality. Hey, to go out and say, as a guy who is a little bit — who is un-PC, and probably won because he’s un-PC.”

Oh, and McSweeney’s is compiling lists of all the shitty things Trump has done. Horrors 1-112 were published last week, 113-192 will come out later this week. It’s easy to forget some of this, there’s just so much. 

Time to show these asshats how we feel in the voting booth. 

In other TV news

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone that Chidi was so jacked: they told us as much in the first season.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was given the honor she is due this weekend. The Mark Twain Prize ceremony will air on PBS on November 17.

Jensen Ackles is NOT your new Batman. Sorry.

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina‘s Salem the cat is better behaved than my children.

Here’s something I have not given one second of thought to, but is actually interesting when you hear it stripped out of context: the music on the Real Housewives series.  “This is like, you know, on a much smaller scale what George Martin did with the Beatles.” OK.

The Grand Duchess Maria of Russia and the Chancellery of the Head of the Russian Imperial House does not care for Matthew Weiner’s The Romanoffs. “Dullness may be disagreeable, but it seldom causes offence or insult. Alas, to the series creator’s great discredit, ‘The Romanoffs’ manages to do both.”

Last week’s episode of It’s Always Sunny was a thing of genius — and not just for the Seinfeld nod.

The Simpsons made another correct prediction some 13 years ago.

Blumhouse Studios is trying to break into the TV game. (I knew they produced Into the Dark and The Purge, but I didn’t realize they produced Sharp Objects. Interesting.)

The Guest Book returns this week, and to celebrate, creator Greg Garcia is going to give away money to one viewer’s favorite charity:

If you’re a fan of pictures of people at table reads, the Timeless cast is here for you.

Two NFL players almost got into a fight during yesterday’s Panthers/Eagles game over the NFL kneeling situation.

Charlie Collier, the former head of AMC, is the new CEO of Fox Entertainment.

Ugh, a man who appeared on Wife Swap with his family killed his mother and brother.

#MeToo

Ayissha Morgan, the woman who accused Catfish’s Nev Schulman of sexually harassing and assaulting her, says that MTV closed the investigation into the incidents without talking to her. She reportedly filed a police report against him here in Houston.

Bella Thorne has contended that Freeform executives called her “ugly” on the set of Famous in Love.

The owner of the Comedy Cellar still doesn’t get it.

The Baltimore PD gets it. (And by the way, IndieWire, the cops weren’t “flirting,” they were sexually harassing.)

A Crazy Ex-Girlfriend director has accused the DGA of discrimination for not recognizing her directing partner.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Black Monday debuts on Showtime on January 20. (If like me you needed to know what that song is, it’s Lil’ Wayne’s “Uproar.”)
  • The Magicians returns on Syfy on January 23.
  • Leah Remini: Scientology The Aftermath will have a special focusing on Jehovah’s Witnesses this season. It will debut on November 13 on A&E.

R.I.P.

Danny Leiner, Director best known for Dude, Where’s My Car and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, but he also directed episodes of Arrested Development, The Tick, Party of Five and The Office (among a number of episodes of the hated Mind of the Married Man) and others.

WATCH THIS

Manifest: We finally learn what happened to the people who didn’t disappear on a magic airplane. 9 p.m., NBC

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow: Constantine informs the team of a new magical threat in the season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

The President Show: A President Show Documentary: The End of Donald Trump: Oh, how I wish. 10 p.m., Comedy Central

Half the Picture: A documentary about how women dominate directing in Hollywood. LOL, JK, IT’S THE EXACT OPPOSITE. 8 p.m., Starz

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Savannah Guthrie, Hoda Kotb, Juliette Lewis, Joey Purp featuring Rza Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ike Barinholtz, Kiernan Shipka, Courtney Barnett The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Sarah Silverman, Scott Bakula, Transviolet The Late Late Show with James Corden: Dakota Johnson, Gordon Ramsay, Mike Posner Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jamie Dornan, Jovan Adepo, Jeremih & Ty Dolla $ign Watch What Happens Live: Mary McCormack, Gina Kirschenheiter

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing with the Stars
(new)
The Rookie
(repeat)
CBS The Neighborhood
(new)
Happy Together
(new)
Magnum P.I.
(new)
Bull
(new)
CW Arrow
(new)
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
(new)
Local
FOX The Resident
(new)
9-1-1
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
Manifest
(new)
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