Reminder: Ted Cruz is a fucking idiot who doesn’t understand ‘The Simpsons’

Another day, another right-wing idiot getting pop culture ALL WRONG. Yesterday at CPAC, the annual conservative political orgy of nihilism, misogyny, and racial hatred, Ted Cruz said the following very dumb thing: “I think the Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson, and Republicans are happily the party of Homer and Bart and Maggie and Marge.”

First of all, does Ted Cruz truly not understand that Lisa Simpson is the most intelligent character on The Simpsons and serves as the show’s true moral core? So, at least in that respect, Ted Cruz is correct: his party is completely divorced from reason, a respect for intellectualism, knowledge and empirical fact, and empathy.

And I will gladly give Ted Cruz and the GOP Homer and Bart, but trying to take claim of Marge who voted for Jimmy Carter twice and who had this nightmare in 2016:

… and Maggie — WHO IS A FUCKING INFANT — seems like a bit of a stretch.  Simpsons’ creator Al Jean agrees:

But second of all, Lisa Simpson famously becomes the President of the United States after Trump WHO LEAVES THE COUNTRY IN FINANCIAL RUIN.

This, of course, is not Ted Cruz’s first pitiful overture to The Simpsons. Recall his horrifying Simpsons‘ impersonations that he did while running for President in a woefully misguided attempt to woo the kidzzz:

Ultimately what this story, and yesterday’s story about the NRA and Parks and Recreation, demonstrate is that the right-wing is desperate to be pop culture relevant, and yet everything they stand for is what pop culture rallies against. They are the villains who think they are the heroes, but fortunately, those writing the stories know the difference.

In Other TV News

Hollywood is pressuring Amazon to drop NRA TV from Prime Video. GOOD. FUCK THOSE GUYS.

And as another illustration of my point above, Dana Loesch once pitched a sitcom about herself: “A hot young mom who does far-right radio show.” No one took her up on the idea because she’s disgusting.

As for that CNN town hall, Jake Tapper calls it the toughest thing he’s ever done at CNN.

Also, a Marjory Stoneman Douglas student claims that a question he had prepared for the town hall was re-written by CNN, thus making him drop out of the project. Trump latched on to this story, calling CNN —  all together now — “FAKE NEWS.”

CNN, however, disputes this:

The Looming Tower will debut on Hulu next week. And like The Handmaid’s Tale, it’s more important than ever that we watch. From Lawrence Wright, the author of the original book: “A lot of the anxiety that floats around America stems from the fears we all have. The paranoia, the militarized security state we are building for ourselves—all of that comes out of 9/11. I’m not going to say that Donald Trump might not have been elected under different circumstances, but it’s clear to me that, in many respects, the world we’re in is defined by what happened on that day.”

Oh no, the Russians are all hurt because a Russian actor from the upcoming McMafia had some negative things to say about their — and his — country. My heart bleeds.

I had every intention of blogging The Bachelor Winter Games, I really did, and maybe once I get my life back from the Olympics, I’ll find the time to do so. (Note: I will never find the time to do so.) But apparently, Clare finally found love and a proposal? And Ashley I. finally went to a fantasy suite? So will they stop crying at raccoons now?

Good Omens is going to be faithful to the book, according to David Tennant, at least.

Jason Lews is Team SJP, so I guess we can stop talking about this now?

QUINCY JONES, DON’T YOU APOLOGIZE FOR A DAMN THING.

Sex Monsters

Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, is disgusting towards women. He says he’s sorry, but gross, Handler. Gross.

Harvey Weinstein is also sorry that his lawyers dragged Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lawrence into his lawsuit. OK.

This is an enlightening account of being a female writer on late night — specifically in this case for David Letterman. (Special guest appearance by Matt Lauer.)

The Television Academy has revised its code of ethics and standards of professional conduct.

BBC is launching a sweeping review of their policies to try to “sweep away” barriers for women.

Wall Street is bracing for #MeToo. GOOD. THEY SHOULD BE.

Dominic West has Ruth Wilson’s back. It’s obscene that she is paid less than him for The Affair. Obscene.

Oh, fuck off, James Woods. No one wants to hear from you anymore, you creep.

In the worst idea that has ever worsted, professional asshole David Mamet has written a play about Harvey Weinstein. “I don’t understand,” my husband said, “aren’t all Mamet’s plays about Harvey Weinstein?”

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Nashville will return for its final season on June 7 on CMT.
  • Killing Eve, the psychopath thriller from Phoebe Waller-Bridge, is going to air on BBC America on April 8. I already have my DVR set.

R.I.P.

George Kaufman, Chairman of Kaufman Astoria Studios. Kaufman Studios has a fascinating history — having started off in the 20s and was home to the Marx Brothers, only to fall into disrepair before Mr. Kaufman saved it in the 70s and 80s and brought film and TV production back to New York City. (It’s also a fascinating place to visit — they don’t have actual tours, but some friends and I went there a couple of years ago and visited the costume department which was AMAZING. It’s right next door to the Museum of the Moving Image, which is a MUST VISIT for any TV fan.)

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

Mute: Alexander Skarsgard, Justin Theroux, Paul Rudd and Sam Rockwell all star in this futuristic thriller directed by David Bowie’s son. Intriguing. Netflix

Seven Seconds: A new anthological crime drama that stars Regina King who can do no wrong. Series premiere. Netflix

The Olympics: Alpine skiing, snowboarding, bobsled and speed skating. 7 p.m., NBC

SATURDAY

Notes from the Field: Well, this sounds uplifting: “Anna Deavere Smith’s portrayal of 18 real-life characters dramatizes the accounts of students, parents, teachers, and administrators who are caught up in America’s school-to-prison pipeline.” 7 p.m., HBO

Drag Me To Hell: The best Sam Raimi movie you’ve never seen. 8:45 p.m., Cinemax

The Olympics: Figure skating gala, bobsled. 7 p.m., NBC

SUNDAY

The Walking Dead: Carl dies. Mid-season premiere. 8 p.m., AMC

The Bachelor: The Women Tell All: Wait, if this is happening on Sunday, does this mean this season is going to wrap up BEFORE I go on my ski trip? PLEASE BE SO. Look, I’ve got The Walking Dead and the closing ceremonies and I am going to be swamped, but it will be worth it if I don’t have to worry about dumb Arie while I’m trying to get my ski on. 7 p.m., ABC

Ash v. Evil Dead: Ash’s peaceful life comes to an abrupt end. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Starz

Big Brother: Celebrity Edition: Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS

The Olympics: Closing ceremonies. BYE, OLYMPICS. SEE YOU IN ABOUT 22 MONTHS. 6 p.m., NBC

Late Night: Jimmy Kimmel Live (Friday): Saoirse Ronan, Kyle Chandler, Joey Dosik Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Nene Leakes, Marlo Hampton

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Wreck-It Ralph 20/20
(new)
CBS Celebrity Big Brother
(new)
Blue Bloods
(repeat)
CW The 3rd Annual Howie Mandel Stand-Up Gala
(repeat)
Whose Line is it Anyway/
(repeat)
Local
FOX Showtime at the Apollo
(repeat)
Local
NBC The Winter Olympics
(new)

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball News/Local
CBS Celebrity Big Brother
(new)
48 Hours
(repeat)
48 Hours
(repeat)
News/Local
FOX UFC Fight Night
(live)
News/Local
NBC The Winter Olympics
(new)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)
The Bachelor
(new)
Shark Tank
(new)
CBS 60 Minutes
(new)
Celebrity Big Brother
(new)
NCIS: Los Angeles
(repeat)
FOX Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(repeat)
Bob’s Burgers
(repeat)
The Simpsons
(new)
Ghosted
(new)
Family Guy
(new)
LA to Vegas
(new)
Local/News
NBC The Winter Olympics
(new)
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