Jimmy Kimmel spoke powerfully last night about the horrific school shooting in Broward County that happened on Wednesday, killing 17 people — 14 students and 3 teachers — and injuring 15.
Every day, I place my middle schooler on a bus to go to his large public school. He drives from our affluent neighborhood through another affluent neighborhood to the affluent neighborhood where his school is located. My point is, I worry about a lot of things for my middle schooler: bullying, his grades, whether or not his heart is being broken by some crush, and yes, school shootings. But I never worried about his bus ride.
But then in September 2016, at the same time my child was headed to school, a mad man put on a Nazi uniform, walked out to the street that my child’s bus goes down, and began randomly firing upon cars with a submachine gun, injuring 10 people, until the police arrived and killed him 20 minutes later. My child was never actually in danger, but that morning, I had a tiny tiny taste of the fear that the vast majority of parents at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School felt Wednesday afternoon waiting to hear that their children were safe. I hopefully will never know what those 14 parents who received much worse news felt. I hope no other parent in this country ever knows what they felt.
But someone, somewhere will, and probably sooner rather than later.
This is a complicated, hard issue whose roots go deeper than just, “LET’S TAKE EVERYONE’S GUNS AWAY,” as comedian Michael Ian Black so eloquently tweeted:
And he’s not wrong. We need to have this conversation. I try to have this conversation with my sons because I know that it’s not enough for me to champion movements like #MeToo, I also am responsible for raising emotionally healthy men who would never dream of hurting a woman or shooting a crowd of innocent people out of some misplaced fear or rage.
But we also need to talk about the guns and the fact that after every horrific shooting, the GOP — not “Washington,” not “Congress,” this is not a both sides issue — tells us it is too soon to politicize the event before clamming up and waiting for the news cycle to change so that we’ll move on to some other shiny object and forget that the vast majority of us want gun control laws passed. Now.
(Meanwhile, not one member of the GOP appeared anywhere but Fox News yesterday because they are fucking cowards.)
And I don’t know what the answer is. Left to my own devices, I would be the mean mommy and take everyone’s guns away, because we clearly can’t play with our toys nicely. For a number of reasons, not least of which is the Constitution, we can’t do that, and no matter how much we might wish it so, we will never be Australia.
That said, there are so many things we could do that would not violate the Second Amendment: expanded and vastly improved background checks; putting mentally ill people, domestic abusers and those on the terrorist watch list into the national database perventing them from buying guns; giving the FBI more time to investigate problematic buyers; allowing the CDC to study gun violence; closing the gunshow loophole; outlawing bumpstocks; requiring gun owners to carry insurance; requiring people to keep their guns in safes so that children don’t get a hold of them, and if their children DO get a hold of their guns and kill themselves or someone else, fully prosecuting the gun owner; requiring manual safeties; promoting more smart guns — or at the very least not making them ILLEGAL; banning high capacity magazines — or implementing a high tax per bullet; allowing gun maufacturers to be sued just like any other company that creates a consumer product; raising the age limits for gun ownership; requiring more training for gun ownership; not making it easier for an 18-year-old to purchase an AR-15 than a handgun; and creating a national database of gun owners.
We could also just ban the AR-15, the weapon that keeps being used in these horrific events. It’s been done before and while it didn’t prevent Columbine from happening, mass shootings went down both in actual number and number of victims in the ten years that it was enacted. It worked. It didn’t take anyone’s rights away, and it worked. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. And I’m guessing that the people mourning their children today, the people mourning the victims of the Texas church shooting, the 600 families who are related to someone shot in Las Vegas, the families and friends of the victims in Charleston, Fort Hood, Sandy Hook, San Bernadino, the Pulse massacre, I am guessing they would have taken the odds on a ban on these horrific weapons if it meant they had a chance that their families and friends wouldn’t have been literally torn apart.
If you are feeling powerless or angry or heartbroken or all of the above, try getting in touch with one of the following organizations to find out how you can make a difference:
Moms Demand Action for Gun Safety
Americans for Responsible Solutions
Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence
And before you vote in your primaries and in November this year — because of course you’re going to go vote in your primaries and in November this year — be sure to check out who has been bought by the NRA. And then don’t vote for that asshole.
Because the thing is, I just want to be able to put my kid on the bus in the morning and have my only worry be about how he does on his math test that day. But that will never happen until we unfuck this situation, and the only way we unfuck this situation is to throw out the fuckers who fucked it up and now refuse to fucking do anything about it.
Meanwhile, on the heels of the news (which will now distract us from Broward County) that Mueller has indicted a whole shitload of Russians for interfering in our election, TICK TOCK, ASSHOLE:
Ooh, FCC Chairman Ajit Pai is under investigation by the FCC inspector general for shenanigans with Sinclair broadcasting. GET ‘IM, GENERAL.
Rex Tillerson has a sense of humor. Huh.
Fox & Friends think that Joy Behar must be Jewish because they can’t wrap their heads around the idea that a Christian might criticize Mike Pence. Jesus, what idiots.
This is big TV news: The CW is expanding to a sixth night, just like a real network!
GOD DAMN IT, GEORGE R. R. MARTIN, SIT DOWN AND WRITE.
I guess we’ll have to get our Game of Thrones fix from Altered Carbon SINCE NO ONE ELSE WILL GIVE IT TO US.
Top Chef is going to be in Kentucky next season, so prepare yourself for so many bourbon references.
Admit it, you’re a little curious about Cobra Kai, the Karate Kid sequel:
I wonder how often Sony thinks about this and shakes their fist at the sky?
Make it easier for blind people to look up what’s on TV, guys.
I love Brandi Glanville, I am not even going to lie.
A bunch of reality-TV people in trouble news:
Survivor’s Jenna Morasca bit a cop.
A guy from 90-Day Fiancé was arrested for nearly 300 pounds of pot.
A bunch of happy reality-TV related news:
Amazing Race stars Cody and Jessica are engaged. Whoever they are.
Former Big Brother contestants Daniele Donato and Dominic Briones are expecting.
Bachelor in Paradise‘s Carly and Evan had a baby girl.
Sex Monster Check-In
Bobby touched upon this in his Olympic post, but GOD DAMMIT SHAUN WHITE. And calling it “gossip?” Gross, dude. Just … guh.
Transparent has officially dropped Jeffrey Tambor, and he’s being a real bitch about it. And the Stalin movie poster has removed him in a classic Stalin move.
Alexander Polinsky is accusing Scott Baio of physical assault and mental abuse during Charles in Charge. Baio is denying everything.
Nelly is under criminal investigation for sexual assault.
Miranda Vee has filed charges against Guess co-founder Paul Marciano.
Tom Ashbrook has been fired from NPR for creating a hostile work environment.
WOMEN MAKE UP ONLY 21% OF THE RECORDING ACADEMY ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
Eric Bolling went on Morning Joe, and everyone is surprised that the sexual harassment allegations against him were off-limits, but have you watched what Mika has had to say about the #MeToo movement lately?
Minnie Driver is done with you, Oxfam.
Renewals
- So You Think You Can Dance has been renewed for season 15.
- Midnight, Texas has been renewed for a second season by NBC.
- Grace & Frankie has been renewed for a fifth season at Netflix.
- Carpool Karaoke has been renewed for a second season at Apple.
Cancellations
- The Kathy Bates pot comedy, Disjointed, has been canceled by Netflix.
In Development
- TNT has greenlit Deadlier Than the Male and it is going to star the AMAZING Lily Rabe.
- Michael Showalter, the creator of Search Party and a writer on The Big Sick, is going to direct CW pilot, In the Dark, so I’m on board.
- NBC has picked up Kenya Barris’ Bright Futures as a pilot.
- Comedy Central is working on animated series Betches.
- Lena Waithes’ Twenties is being developed as a comedy at TBS.
- Robert Rodriguez and Michelle Rodriguez are working on The Limit for STXSurreal.
- A series is being developed based on Freeway Rick Ross: The Untold Autobiography.
- HBO is developing miniseries Stuxnet.
- TNT has greenlit Hackerville.
- Marie Kondo is coming to cluttered Netflix.
- The Science Channel has ordered Deadly Intelligence.
- Ian Bryce, a producer of a number of tentpole films, has signed an overall deal with Netflix.
- NBC just promoted two women to head scripted programming, so that’s cool.
- Kid series Charlie’s Colorforms City, Chico Bon Bon: Monkey with a Tool Belt and Go! Go! Cory Carson are joining Netflix.
Casting News
- Bradley Whitford is joining The Handmaid’s Tale.
- Guy Pearce is joining Netflix’s The Innocents.
- Don Johnson is going to star in Fox comedy pilot Daddy Issues.
- Bokeem Woodbine — who STOLE the second season of Fargo — has been cast as the lead in CBS’s pilot Main Justice.
- Michelle Gomez, Missy from Doctor Who, and Chance Perdomo are joining Netflix’s Sabrina.
- RuPaul is going to guest star on Grace & Frankie next season.
- Kate Dennings is going to be the lead in ABC’s comedy pilot How May We Hate You?
- Bonnie Soper and Maggie Sullivun are your new Princess Diana and Queen Elizabeth.
- Emmanuelle Chriqui has been added to the cast of The Passage.
- Ray Fisher is joining True Detective.
- Ser’Darius Blain will join the Charmed reboot.
- Kosha Patel and Kapil Talwalkar are joining ABC’s pilot False Profits.
- Zach Gilford and Duane Martin are going to co-star in Bad Boys.
- Janet Montgomery is joining the cast of Bellevue.
- Annaleigh Ashford is going to star in ABC’s pilot Three Rivers.
- Xavier de Guzman is cast in ABC’s Take Two.
- Andy Karl is joining ABC’s Staties.
- Raza Jaffrey has been added to The Enemy Within.
- Bruno Bichir is joining Titans as Dr. Niles Caulder.
- Romany Malco has been cast in ABC’s A Million Little Things.
- Titus Makin has been cast in ABC’s pilot, The Rookie.
- Jordan L. Jones is joining Fox’s comedy pilot Rel.
- Alyson Hannigan and Rob Riggle are adding their voices to Disney Junior’s Fancy Nancy.
Mark Your Calendar
- RuPaul’s Drag Race will return on VH1 on March 22.
- Jane will air on Nat Geo on March 27.
- Call the Midwife returns for a seventh season on PBS on March 25.
- Silicon Valley: The Untold Story will air on the Science Channel on March 19.
- Christine Amanpour: Sex & Love Around the World will debut on CNN on March 17.
- The Zoo returns for a second season on Animal Planet on March 10.
R.I.P.
Edward M. Abroms, Editor
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: In the season finale, Rebecca tries to make amends for her sins. 7 p.m., The CW
Mozart in the Jungle: Season four. Amazon
Everything Sucks!: Teens in the 90s come to grips with the fact that everything sucks. Series premiere. Netflix
20/20: Roseanne: The Return: A look at the reboot of the classic series. 9 p.m., ABC
Olympics: Figure skating, alpine skiing, freestyle skiing, skeleton. 7 p.m., NBC
SATURDAY
The House: I want an Amy Poehler/Will Ferrell movie to be amazing, but I hear it’s not so much. Proceed accordingly. 7 p.m., HBO
Olympics: Skiing, short track, skeleton, ski jump. 7 p.m., NBC
SUNDAY
Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver: He’s back! Season premiere. 10 p.m., HBO
The Joel McHale Show with Joel McHale: He’s back! Series premiere. Netflix
Olympics: Figure skating, freestyle skiing, speed skating, bobsled, cross-country skiing. 6 p.m., NBC
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Hawaii Five-0 (repeat) |
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Local |
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The x-Files (repeat) |
Local |
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Family Guy (new) |
LA to Vegas (new) |
Local/News |
| NBC | The Winter Olympics (new) |