Let’s start the week by reliving Anderson Cooper telling Jeffrey Lord that Lord would defend Trump if Trump took a dump on his desk

While you were trying to figure out why the hell conspiracy theorists weren’t collectively setting their hair on fire over Trump and the King of Saudi Arabia rubbing their hands all over a sinister glowing orb of doom, Anderson Cooper spoke some truth to Trump surrogate Jeffrey Lord on Friday night, saying that Lord would defend Trump if Trump “took a dump on [his] desk.”

What Cooper said was not hyperbole but just cold hard fact. However, Cooper felt compelled to apologize for it, saying that it was unprofessional. I mean, maybe, but it doesn’t make it any less accurate, Anderson. But maybe the people who you should be taking this up with are your bosses who insist on keeping this worthless sycophant on your network.

Speaking of news coverage and Trump, a Harvard study suggests that 93% of Trump coverage has been negative. But let’s be clear: “negative” ≠ “inaccurate.” (Also, that 7% of positive coverage? All Jeffrey Lord.)

Meanwhile, during his father’s eulogy, Roger Ailes’ 17-year-old son said, ““I want all the people who betrayed my father to know that I’m coming after them and hell is coming with me.” He seems nice.

Billy Bush has decided it’s OK for him to come out of hiding and talk about the Access Hollywood tape now. I firmly disagree. If Billy Bush remained in hiding for the rest of his life, it would still be TOO SOON. So do not get me started on this bullshit new show he wants to star in that is “designed to show audiences a deeper and more empathetic side to him.” Fuck that noise.

In Other TV News

The new 2017-2018 shows are overwhelmingly white and male, in other words, it’s “Trump Era TV.” Gross.

milania-eye-roll-rhonj

The story behind Twin Peaks‘ “Laura Palmer’s Theme” is fittingly eerie.

Speaking of Twin Peaks, these folks analyzed the most famous TV dream sequence ever. It’s not half-bad!

Jorah Mormont says that this upcoming season of Game of Thrones is going to be the best yet. Also, too, that he is basically going to sacrifice himself for Daenerys which does not count as a spoiler because NO DUH.

Here is just a very good interview with Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the creator and star of Fleabag, and if you have not watched Fleabag, you need to fix that. Oh, and it is sounding like she’s working on a season two.

And here is just a very good interview with Martha Kelly from Baskets and American Gods. We love Martha Kelly.

Bryan Fuller grew up in a town that was menaced by the Snake River Killer and everything makes so much more sense now.

Neil Patrick Harris is the only person who liked the How I Met Your Mother finale.

Now Netflix is just straight-up remixing their shows? I’m actually ok with this. (Also, if you haven’t watched the “San Junipero” episode of Black Mirror yet, go do so. Also, “Men Against Fire,” if you are looking to be terrified.)

So, I watch General Hospital — DEAL WITH IT — and they introduced this whole storyline about one of the characters having a very specific form of blood cancer with a whole lot of fanfare, and PSAs about how if you have this very specific form of blood cancer you should discuss it with your doctor and here are all of these resources for this very specific form of blood cancer and it was weird, because they didn’t do this with other conditions or cancers. Turns out? It was all to promote a particular drug. Oh, GH.

disappointed monkey

Here is what you need to know about your new hero, America, Backpack Kid. (I admit it, I love him.)

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

WATCH THIS

The Bachelorette: Oh Rachel, you are so much better than this. But I am not better than all the box wine which I will be drinking while you do this to yourself. Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC

The Late Late Show Carpool Karaoke: Katy Perry and Jennifer Lopez buckle up for an all new special. 9 p.m., CBS

Jane the Virgin: Will Rogelio and Xo make it down the aisle? It’s a telenovela so there is a good chance that the answer is no. Season finale.  8 p.m., The CW

Princess Diana: Her Life, Her Death, The Truth: A look at the investigations into the Princess’ death. 7 p.m. CBS

Suite Francaise: Michelle Williams stars in this film based on the Irène Némirovsky about a woman in Occupied France who falls in love with a German soldier.  9 p.m. Lifetime

Supergirl: “Nevertheless, She Persisted.” Season finale. 7 p.m., The CW

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Chelsea Handler, Mo Rocca, Cheat Codes featuring Demi Lovato Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kyle Chandler, Michaela Watkins, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Come From Away” Matt Frazier The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Rachel Maddow, Ben Platt The Late Late Show with James Corden: Lionel Richie, Jenna Dewan Tatum Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jim Carrey, Rachel Lindsay, Bush Conan: Justin Theroux, Don Lemon, Seaton Smith Watch What Happens Live: Hilary Swank, Kate Mara

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing with the Stars
(new)
The Bachelorette
(new)
CBS Princess Diana: Her Life, Her Death, The Truth
(new)
Carpool Karaoke
(new)
CW Supergirl
(new)
Jane the Virgin
(new)
Local
FOX Gotham
(new)
Lucifer
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
Running Wild with Bear Grylls
(new)

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