‘Supernatural’: No one cares

Supernatural
“The British Invasion”
April 6, 2017

THEN: “Who you gonna call? Douchebusters!”

NOW

The boys walk into the Bunker to find Mick sitting in the library waiting for them. He invites them to come and have a drink with him. They boys are like, this place is supposed to warded against every evil. How did you get in? Mick is a Man of Letters. Their fortaleza is his fortaleza. Also, did they know their key opens every Chapterhouse in the world?

These boys need to change the locks. Now.

Mick isn’t there for a social call though. There’s urgent business afoot! He tells them a rare cosmic shockwave was recorded by the home office. Sam is like, it’s a nephilim and every hunter we know is working the case. Bye, then. Mick is appalled that they knew and didn’t report it, and apoplectic that they didn’t put a bullet in Kelly’s head when they had the chance.

“Why, because that’s what you would have done? Because you’re so big on second chances and all.”

Mick admits that it wouldn’t have been easy, “but the Code demands it.”

It’s the same Code that demands that school boys murder each other in order to advance to the next level at the Kendricks School.

Mick is awakened from fitful sleep and troubled dreams by a call from the Home Office. Dolores Umbridge tells him that something big and bad is on its way and they need the American situation settled. Now. Time is running out.

“Assimilate or eliminate.”

Dean is face down at the kitchen table sawing logs. One hand clutches a coffee cup. Sam trudges into the room and says Dean looks like crap. “Yeah, you look crappier.” Sam does not dispute this statement. Dean says he has to hand it to Mick.

“That guy can drink. I mean, we can drink, but he’s got like the ‘can-drink’ gold medal.”

That’s a bold statement coming from Dean.

SPN_Can you even get drunk

Dean slurps his cold coffee. Sam asks if he’s talked to Mary lately. Mick strides in and says they shouldn’t worry about her. She and Ketch make quite the team.

“Would you want your mom working with him??”

Mick is like, I wouldn’t know I’m an orphan but thanks for asking. He says he was living on the streets until the Men of Letters found him. He picked a member’s pocket hoping for a few pounds, but he ended up with a cursed Babylonian coin instead.

SPN_Wishful Thinking Bear Why.gif

Good times.

Kelly insists that Dagon take her to an OB, her baby is probably a monster, the delivery is going to kill her, and scene. Some blah blah with Crowley and Lucifer and I don’t care. Mary and Ketch have the sexy times.

spn_dean-gross-no-thank-you

Dean scoops up Kelly using information provided by hunter Eileen Leahy and drives her to an undisclosed location. Sam is waiting there with Eileen. They are super cute together and I would be happy with them becoming a thing.

Mick arrives with his new minder, some douchebag Percy Weasley wannabe fresh off the overnight from London who needs to die and die soon. Douchebag Percy calls Eileen “banshee girl,” asides that they have a file on her, and smugly notes that the hunters have no formal training. He was top of his class at Kendricks. Eileen cuts him off.

“No one cares.”

Catherine Tate_Fucking True

Sam blah blahs at Kelly that they’ll “figure something out,” even though she knows full well none of them want Lucifer’s child born. Dagon shows up and Sam drops the Colt. BUNGIE! Eileen picks it up and Dagon does us all a solid by pulling a vintage YED move and evaporating. The bullet hits douchebag Percy in the heart instead, killing him instantly.

Y’all, are we sure Dagon is evil? Because she can kill BMoL all day long and I won’t be mad.

Eileen however is devastated. So is Mick – not by douchebag Percy’s death, but by what his death now requires Mick to do. He draws down on Eileen.

“She killed a Man of Letters. She has to die.”

Dean tells Mick to screw the Code. Sam is more diplomatic. He says Mick doesn’t have to blindly obey. He only has to answer to himself and do what he knows is right. “You only have to answer to your own code.” Mick lowers his gun and tells them to go.

If Eileen doesn’t make it out of this season alive, I am going to flip some tables.

SNL_Table Flip

Mick is surprised to find Professor Umbridge waiting for him at the BMoL compound. He didn’t think she left London. She says she doesn’t, but the rapidly deteriorating situation required it. She’s wearing a black suit with white piping that is straight out of The Prisoner. Mick is not a free man. He is a number.

But Mick has had a taste of Team Free Will. He gives an impassioned defense of Sam and Dean. He reminds Professor Umbridge of the lives they’ve saved and the monsters they’ve destroyed, guided by their sense of what’s right. And that’s what guides Mick now. He rejects the Code. He says he will no longer obey.

“I choose to do the right thing.”

And then Ketch shoots him at close range in the back of the head.

shrug

I mean, Mick was fine, but I’ve been done with the BMoL since Lady Cardboard mind raped Sam in “Mamma Mia” so, meh.

Ketch circles Mick’s body, observing it like it’s an interesting bug. Professor Umbridge declares the grand experiment to recruit American hunters an utter failure. The only thing to be done is to exterminate them.

“Every. Last. One.”

I always expect Buckner and Ross-Leming episodes to be shades of bad, but this was worse – I was bored! I fast-forwarded through the Crowley and Lucifer scenes because I don’t care. FF through Mary and Ketch because no. No thank you. Do not want. And even after getting Mick’s seriously messed up backstory I wasn’t emotionally invested enough to care about his death.

Show has proven that it’s still more than capable of knocking out episodes that take risks like “Baby” or are emotionally satisfying like “Asa Fox” and “Regarding Dean“. But even so, the last season or so I’ve started to worry that Supernatural might reach a point where I end up hate watching and recapping it ala TWoP’s Demian during Charmed‘s (or CANCELLED!) last season.

This recap is a quarter the length of what I normally write. Hating Supernatural would be better than just not caring anymore.

This season just doesn’t seem to have a sense of purpose or momentum.  I’m deeply, deeply bored by the power struggles in Hell.  The British Men of Letters plot is a half-baked idea that’s been poorly executed.  It’s a C+ term paper.  And I’ve repeatedly complained that Show hasn’t known what to do with Cas for seasons.  The one story I am interested in is the one Show has been half-hearted in telling – Mary and her boys.

I get that Supernatural isn’t a family drama … but isn’t it? I started watching because I needed something to fill the void that Buffy left in my life when it ended.  A show inspired by American urban legends seemed like the ticket.  And that might be why I started watching (“Bloody Mary” hooked me hard), but I stayed because of the relationship between Sam and Dean.  Season 1’s “Home,” “Asylum,” “Scarecrow,” and “Faith” were the defining arc for me because of what they revealed about the brothers.  These episodes made me care about them.

And these boys have, in essence, had their whole lives defined by their mother’s absence! So if Andrew Dabb is going to bring her back – do something with her!  Mary’s sense of alienation and grief over what she’s lost is a profound thing.  But other than the beautifully brutal scenes from “The Foundry” and “The Raid“, Show hasn’t done much to explore it.

I wish we’d gotten a chance to see Mary’s trip through John’s journal and filling in the blanks of the past.  What does she know about her boys’ lives after she died?  What does she know about who they are now?  I want to see Mary actually getting to know her giant adult children and connecting with them at a level that’s deeper than beer and burgers. Fuck it Show, be This Is Us with monsters! Because that might actually hold my attention.

Supernatural airs Thursday at 8:00 p.m. (Eastern) on The CW.  Follow Whitney on twitter @Watcher_Whitney.

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