Look away from the Trump peetroversy for a second, because you need to see Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson in the ‘Urban Myths’ trailer.

If you can tear yourself away from the Trump Russian dossier — and I couldn’t blame you if you couldn’t … I mean, golden showers, GOLDEN SHOWERS! — the next most important thing you can look at today is Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson in this trailer for the upcoming British show, Urban Myths (which does not have an American debut date yet, BUT NEEDS ONE IMMEDIATELY). And then if you have a few minutes you should read this short story by Zadie Smith that is based on the same urban myth that will be dramatized by Joseph Fiennes in this British series. And after that you should just stop and ponder that this story about Michael Jackson very well might have happened, just like the stories in the Trump Russian dossier might very well have happened, and think about what a strange, wonderful, terrible world we live in.

Oh, did I mention the Russian dossier, a story that has nothing to do with television, here on a television blog? Here’s Seth Meyers interviewing Kellyanne Conway about it on television, so now it’s relevant. In the interview, Conway dodges Meyers’ questions, promises that Trump is going to continue to tweet, and claims that Trump didn’t know about the two-page memo about the dossier even though he sat through the intelligence briefing where it was supposedly presented. “This concerns me,” says Seth Meyers, while I go off looking for the lighter fluid for my hair.

The Onion Knight revealed two important things about the upcoming Game of Thrones‘ seasons: 1. the final season will only be six episodes long, which we kinda already knew but HBO hadn’t confirmed and 2. filming for season eight begins in September, so Winter will definitely have arrived and apparently The Onion Knight will live through season seven.

Speaking of Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin is now claiming that The Winds of Winter is going to be finished sometime this year, but WE’VE HEARD THIS BEFORE, GEORGE. LESS BLOGGY, MORE WRITEY.

Let’s talk about ratings!

… Especially since The Goldbergs‘ spinoff is moving forward. It will be set in the 90s and be about the teachers at the school the Goldberg kids attend, which, fun fact! is the school my husband attended. In fact, my husband was a couple of years older than Adam Goldberg so every time you see one of those home videos at the end of an episode, there’s a chance my husband is in there somewhere, as a gawky teenager.

Black-ish will be the first show to take on President Trump, which is only fitting since President Trump has already taken on black-ish.

In other ABC news, Secrets and Lies is all but canceled, but Grey’s Anatomy never will be, and Scandal isn’t going anywhere, either. Oh, and Modern Family and The Middle? Likely to be renewed.

The Catch is going to become a comedy?

amy-poehler-confused

Time After Time isn’t going to be all time-travelly, despite being a series about time travel, according to the showrunners.

When We Rise, the ABC miniseries about LGBT rights, is SHOCKINGLY! already being trolled by online monsters. WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT?

Here are ABC’s premiere dates. You’re going to have to wait until March for Designated Survivor to return, ohmygod. And don’t look for Still Star-Crossed, Shonda Rhimes’ “Romeo and Juliet” series, it’s not debuting this season.

Fox News paid a former anchor six figures to make a sexual harassment claim against Bill O’Reilly go away. Presumably this one doesn’t involve loofahs or falafel, but you never know.

Here’s Felicity Jones’ teaser for this week’s Saturday Night Live. WARNING: It involves a terrible Star Wars pun. It’s terrible. So terrible.

In awesome Saturday Night Live news, Aziz Ansari will be hosting next.

Hey, The Fosters has been renewed for a fifth season over on Freeform. And Beyond has been picked up for a second season.

Oh my God, Freeform is giving The Bachelor Twins their own show, and I might be powerless to resist.

The Coen Brothers are making a TV series, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, an Old West anthology. On the one hand, I love the Coen Brothers, on the other hand, I hate Westerns, especially when they don’t feature sexbots.

That Marc Cherry series starring Reba as the sheriff of a Southern town who suddenly has to work with a Middle Eastern FBI agent is getting a pilot order over at ABC. I’m calling it now: this will become a show.

In other development news:

Mrs. Channing Tatum will be the host of that new dance show from Jennifer Lopez.

The Duck Dynasty producers aren’t taking those fraud claims against them lying down.

GUS!

The Internet is a strange place.

WATCH THIS

Full Frontal with Samantha Bee: Sam explores deportation and detainment policies under the Obama administration and I bet we will look back on them fondly soon enough. 9:30 p.m., TBS

Schitt’s Creek: Season three premiere. 7 p.m., Pop

Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce: Abandoned babies, ruined weddings and romantic entanglements with bakers. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Michelle Obama, Stevie Wonder Late Night with Seth Meyers: Andrew Garfield, Mary Steenburgen, Colony House The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jude Law, Gabrielle Union, Thomas L. Friedman The Late Late Show with James Corden: Khloe Kardashian, Pharrell Williams, Cameron Dallas Jimmy Kimmel Live: Jessica Biel, Mahershala Ali, SOHN Conan: Jeff Goldblum, Coyote Peterson, Jimmy Eat World The Daily Show: Jonathan Chait Watch What Happens Live: Charlie Sheen, Craig Robinson

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)
Speechless
(new)
Modern Family
(new)
black-ish
(new)
Match Game
(new)
CBS Undercover Boss
(new)
Criminal Minds
(new)
Code Black
(new)
CW Arrow
(repeat)
Frequency
(new)
Local
FOX Lethal Weapon
(new)
Star
(new)
News/Local
NBC Blindspot
(new)
Law & Order: SVU
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)
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