‘Hawaii Five-0’: Ready player one

Hawaii Five-0
“He Moho Hou”
October 7, 2016

Retired FBI profiler Alicia Brown wakes up in a pool of blood – but it’s not hers. She jerks upright to reveal a corpse laying in bed next to her. There’s a chess piece in the dead man’s mouth. Alicia is now part of the game.

Dead guy in your bed. Better or worse than a horse’s head?

Five-0’s next call of the morning is to the Akamu residence. The camera pulls back as McG, Caano, and Grover walk to the backyard, and we see the giant honking hole in the home’s roof. Show is all about the artful reveals this episode. The homeowner is dead on the ground with a hole in his chest.

Grover directs their attention to the house. He says a second body – or what’s left of it – is upstairs. Cause of death for DEA Special Agent Frank Evers is blunt force trauma from 10,000 feet. Sadly, the ground did not want to be friends with him.

Agent Evers was working undercover to build a case against a Cali cartel player, Hector Frontera. Frontera learned the DEA was about to move against him, which is why he ditched out of a small plane while toting $10 million dollars. They don’t know where Frontera is, but they do have a location on the man he was coming to meet, Orlando Sanchez.

Running through the parking deck. Running through the parking deck. Running through the parking deck. Moonlight and Caano pursue Sanchez the wrong way down a ramp, dodging cars as they go. When McG makes to follow Sanchez as he shinnies down a drain pipe, Caano calls foul because liver.

simpsons-liver

Drink every time Caano mentions the damn liver.  You’ll need a transplant of your own by the end of the season.

Shinny, shinny, shinny. Caano strolls up the elevator and punches the down button. Sanchez jacks a car. Moonlight chases him down the ramp. Running, running, running. DING! The elevator reaches the ground floor. Caano steps in the path of the speeding car and puts two bullets through the windshield. Work smarter, not harder.

McG pulls Caano aside in the blue room of interrogation. He says they need to pretend to disagree.  A fakegument, if you will. They conclude their performance and Caano tries to impress upon Sanchez that he does not want McG to take over the interview.

“Things get messy. Expensive suits get ruined. The drain gets clogged.” And never mind McG, the DEA has already put the word out that Sanchez has been picked up. “The milk in my fridge has got more time than you do.” Help them help him.

Sanchez gives up the source of the leak, Agent Raine. She’s been on the case from the beginning, starting as Evers’ handler. Now she’s Frontera’s lover. When the team move to take them in, Frontera shoots Raine and runs, leaving behind his big black bag of cash.

Moonlight pushes pause on the B-case to meet Alicia at the morgue. She had Detective Lau’s body exhumed to prove her theory that he was murdered. Called it! McG agrees to open a case, but first asks how Alicia convinced the coroner to dig up Lau. Alicia admits she lied that the order came from McG and then forged his signature on several official documents.

Moonlight is like, ‘Seems legit.’

Alicia is going to fit in just fine with the Five-0 team.

In the C-plot, Boomer spends the day with an old surfing rival, Rosie Valera. Rosie was picked up on a drunk and disorderly charge, and Boomer was the only person she could think of to call.

A year after Boomer blew out her knee, Rosie enlisted in the Army. Her career service father never approved of surfing, but after 9/11, he was particularly disappointed in her. Two years later she lost both of her legs to an IED in Iraq. Now she’s estranged from her family and living in a homeless encampment.

Rosie insists the path she’s on is one she has to follow alone. If Boomer is truly her friend, she’ll respect that. Boomer agrees, but only if Rosie promises to get back on a board. Which she does in a lovely moment of bonding and friendship which the Oahu Tourism board is more than happy to sponsor.

Back to Sanchez. He arranges an extraction and Five-0 move in to intercept him first. He’s kidnapped right in front of them by a cartel hit squad. Caano is like, well our work here is done, and leaves.

byeeeee

Later, in a weird bit of editing, Moonlight and Caano are back in the car together. Duke patches through a call to McG. The hit squad wants to make a deal. Frontera – and what he knows about the cartel’s dealings – in exchange for the $10 million Five-0 recovered.

Caano puts the caller on hold. He and Moonlight are both insulted by bad guys’ lack of loyalty and honor these days. But McG agrees that Frontera could be a valuable asset to the DEA. He makes the deal.

Moonlight arrives alone at the exchange point. Frontera is brought out. McG pulls the big black bag out of the truck and places it on the pavement. He carefully zips it open and holds out several stacks of cash. The cartel guy is satisfied. Moonlight takes Frontera in. Cartel guy walks over to the bag and opens it.

At this point you might be expecting Boomer to snipe all of the cartel guys. And she does … FROM INSIDE THE BAG!!

h50_kono-in-the-bag-1

h50_kono-in-the-bag-2

Oh, silly, silly show. Please don’t ever stop being ridiculous.

Boomer – still standing in the bag – tells Moonlight to please don’t ever ask her to do that again. Moonlight agrees. I think he’s officially a little bit scared of her.

scared-and-horny

Moonlight gets another call from Alicia. She interviewed Lau’s captain and learned the detective was seeing a police shrink. Alicia hopes the therapist might know something about Lau’s investigation.

While they wait, Moonlight tells Alicia that CSU is almost done processing her home. Alicia says they can take their time. She’s checked into the Hilton indefinitely – or at least until the job is over.

“So when you get the bill for the robe just pay for it. I deserve it.”

Moonlight says he was going to offer her his couch, “but now that I know you’re a klepto that’s off the table.”  McG is a little hurt that she doesn’t laugh, but Alicia is focused on the shrink’s bookshelf and the large volume on the history of medieval chess.

The doctor comes in and oh noes! ADA Southerland from Law + Order is totally the serial killer! Oh, Serena. Jack would be so disappointed!

law-and-order_arrest-this-woman

This is Whitney, inviting you to be with us next week. Be here, Friday at 8:00 p.m. on CBS.  Aloha.

Whitney is also watching Supernatural and Timeless. Follow her on twitter @Watcher_Whitney.

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