We should ban James Corden from all public spaces, frankly.

Here are some bad birds:

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

We can rank the new network shows based on ratings, and frankly, the biggest surprise to me is how low Quantum Leap is on this list. I mean, I get it: CBS is going to dominate because The Olds. But still.

@hbomax

I’ll take one of each. #houseofthedragon

♬ a negroni sbagliato w prosecco l hbo max – hbomax

A negroni … sbagliato … with prosecco in it has taken over the internets. Here’s how to make it.

HEY HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THE ASTROS ARE IN THE ALCS? BECAUSE THEY ARE. Let’s just hope none of the games go quite as long as Saturdays, right? Here’s the MLB League Championship Games schedule. You might have noticed that I didn’t include the games on my weekly recommendations, but that was just because of the unknown nature of the schedule ahead of time. Now that we are on the verge of knowing who the Astros will be playing tomorrow, things have solidified.

Selma Blair left Dancing with the Stars last night due to health issues related to her multiple sclerosis. “I had these MRIs and the results came back and it just all adds up to… I can’t go on with the competition,” she said. “With a chronic illness, you do have special considerations, and my body is definitely taking a hit. It’s way too much for the safety of my bones. There’s just intensive bone trauma and inflammation … I could do extensive damage that, of course, I do not want.” She and her partner performed a “gentle” waltz, and revealed that before the show, she had pretty much been on bed rest for the past ten years.

Why is there so much incest on TV these days? Because it’s taboo, duh. Next question.

Don’t think of it as a “password crackdown,” think of it as a “profile transfer!” Whatever that means!

Alan Moore, who still hasn’t watched Damon Lindelof’s Watchmen series, has a lot of thoughts about Damon Lindelof’s Watchmen series. All of his thoughts are very very wrong because, again, he didn’t watch the series and he doesn’t know what he’s actually talking about:

“When I saw the television industry awards that the ‘Watchmen’ television show had apparently won, I thought, ‘Oh, god, perhaps a large part of the public, this is what they think ‘Watchmen’ was?’” Moore said of the disconnect between the content and its reception. “They think that it was a dark, gritty, dystopian superhero franchise that was something to do with white supremacism. Did they not understand ‘Watchmen’? ‘Watchmen’ was nearly 40 years ago and was relatively simple in comparison with a lot of my later work. What are the chances that they broadly understood anything since? This tends to make me feel less than fond of those works. They mean a bit less in my heart.”

Moore explained that “Watchmen” is a “critique of the superhero genre,” along with “Marvelman” (also known as “Miracleman”).

“They were trying to show that any attempt to realize these figures in any kind of realistic context will always be grotesque and nightmarish. But that doesn’t seem to be the message that people took from this,” Moore said. “They seemed to think, uh, yeah, dark, depressing superheroes are, like, cool.”

Every single thing he said above is totally wrong, and he would know that if he had actually watched the series.

God bless Simu Liu:

There was a Very Important Crisis yesterday, in which Kevin McNally, the owner of New York’s famed French restaurant, Balthazar, announced that he was banning James Corden from his restaurants. McNally wrote on Instagram: “James Corden is a Hugely gifted comedian, but a tiny Cretin of a man. And the most abusive customer to my Balthazar servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago.” He then went on to detail what, exactly, Corden did to earn his banishment:

This whole Balthazar story left some people very confused about one particular element:

But the story of Corden being an ass to servers was not news to many of us, as Corden has long had a reputation for being a complete shithead:

<blockquote
class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none"><p lang="en"
dir="ltr">Obviously those stories are anecdotal but I found it so
telling when Corden couldn’t name any of his cameramen during a segment
on his own show. These are the guys who he owes his image + livelihood
to! <a
href="https://t.co/NlmX522xGK">https://t.co/NlmX522xGK</a></p>&mdash;
Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) <a
href="https://twitter.com/sbstryker/status/1582115655452532737?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October
17, 2022</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"
charset="utf-8"></script>

THAT PLANE STORY THOUGH.

Anyway, Corden immediately apologized, and now he can go back to Balthazar, BISTRO CRISIS OVER.

#MeToo

Kaalan Walker, rapper, and actor in SuperFly, has been sentenced to 50  years to life for raping three girls, and four women.

Beck has exited the Arcade Fire tour after the allegations of sexual misconduct against Win Butler.

Cuba Gooding Jr. has avoided jail time for inappropriate touching after  six months of “alcohol and behavior modification counseling.”

Deshaun Watson is being sued by a new woman for sexual assault.

Abigail Breslin revealed that she is the survivor of domestic abuse.

Harvey Weinstein’s lawyers are going to claim that he had a consensual sexual relationship with Jennifer Siebel Newsom, and that it wasn’t sexual assault. OK.

Elsewhere, Kevin Spacey has denied the allegations against him by Anthony Rapp, and claims that his “white supremacist and neo-Nazi father” prevented him from coming out as gay.

And over in the Danny Masterson case, they have kept anyone who has seen Leah Remini’s show, Scientology and the Aftermath, from being on the jury.

Brad Pitt sure does have a lot to say about toxic masculinity all of a sudden now that he’s being accused of abusing Angelina Jolie and their kids. I’m not saying they’re related, of course, and not part of some attempt to promote himself as a feminist ally or anything.

You’re going to be shocked by this, but Meghan Markle wasn’t treated like she had a brain when she was a briefcase girl on Deal or No Deal.

It’s been a bad couple of weeks for Bill Murray. First, the story of him harassing a crew member on the set of Puck came out; then Geena Davis’ book came out; then Rob Schneider said Murray hated a bunch of his SNL cast members. Now Seth Greene has come out to say that when he was 9 and playing a small role on SNL, Bill Murray was mad that Greene was sitting on “his” chair. This grown man picked Greene up by his ankles, called him trash and dangled him over a trash can, causing Greene to go sob in his dressing room until Eddie Murphy and Tim Kazurinksy calmed him down. Pajiba has a thoughtful piece on Bill Murray, his mystique and how it’s suddenly being torn down.

In an interview with Elle Magazine, Issa Rae called out Hollywood’s lack of consequences for bad behavior, pointing specifically to Ezra Miller: “I’m gonna be real: The stuff that’s happening with Ezra Miller is, to me, a microcosm of Hollywood. There’s this person who’s a repeat offender, who’s been behaving atrociously, and as opposed to shutting them down and shutting the production down, there’s an effort to save the movie and them.”

Meanwhile, Miller has just pleaded not guilty to felony burglary in Vermont.

After he said that we should be listening to trans people on trans issues instead of celebrities like him, Graham Norton was chased off of Twitter by J.K. Rowling’s supporters. 

Renewals

  • Secret Sauce has been renewed for a second season on Channel 4.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Welcome to Chippendales will premiere on Hulu on November 11.
  • Echo 3 debuts on Apple TV+ on November 23.
  • Mammals will debut on Prime Video on November 11.
  • Rogue Heroes will premiere on EPIX on November 13.
  • The Suspect will premiere on Sundance Now on November 3.
  • Run for the Money will debut on Netflix on November 15.
  • “Heavy Metal Halloween” will air on AXS TV on October 29.
  • Slumberkins will premiere on Apple TV+ on November 4.
  • Teletubbies returns on Netflix on November 14.

R.I.P.

Mike Schank, Musician featured in the documentary American Movie

WATCH THIS

Unsolved Mysteries: The reimaging of the beloved mystery series is back with nine new episodes, to be released over the next three weeks. Season premiere. Netflix

La Brea: It sounds like the show will go back to a plotline that they completely forgot about last week: that impending tidal wave that is going to destroy 1988 Los Angeles. I hate this dumb show because it is dumb. 8 p.m., NBC

Halloween: The original. And then go stream Halloween Ends on Peacock which they swear, they PROMISE, is the end of this never-ending series. 7 p.m., AMC

Late Night:

  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: David Letterman; Tracy Morgan
  • The Daily Show: Soledad O’Brien, Amy Schumer

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Bachelor in Paradise
(new)
The Rookie: Feds
(new)
CBS FBI
(new)
FBI: International
(new)
FBI: Most Wanted
(new)
CW The Winchesters
(new)
Professionals
(new)
Local
FOX The Resident
(new)
Monarch
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
La Brea
(new)
New Amsterdam
(new)

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