PETER.
This is Peter. He is 38 seconds into his first walk. Has officially decided that he is done with his first walk. 12/10 you did great pic.twitter.com/8Bhf7FcIvt
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) July 18, 2022
Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
Never underestimate the nerdiness and intensity of Game of Thrones fans: after there was some speculation about whether or not the Cat’s Paw dagger was in the trailer for House of the Dragon, the producers told Entertainment Weekly that it was not the same knife. But when fans were like “EXCUSE ME WHAT?” they had to clarify that it IS the Cat’s Paw dagger, just not the exact same prop from Game of Thrones. ALSO, yes, the Targaryen sigil has been changed slightly, and don’t think people didn’t notice.
A gunman interrupted Craig Robinson’s show in North Carolina this weekend. Robinson is fine, thank goodness, the man is a treasure. But add comedy clubs to the places where we aren’t safe from gun violence, I guess.
Send all your love to @MrCraigRobinson https://t.co/7uiGZdTmTB
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) July 17, 2022
PRO-TIP: Don’t use the 9/11 memorial for any of your promotional bullshit under any circumstances. HOW DOES THIS EVEN NEED TO BE SAID OUT LOUD?
Listen, LISTEN. FBoy Island on HBO Max. HUSH AND LET ME TELL YOU, it’s complete trash — complete unrepentant trash. But if you enjoy The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, whether guiltily, sincerely, or just to read my recaps, may I direct you to FBoy Island? It was created by a former executive producer of The Bachelor, and he gets it. All of the artifice of a show like The Bachelor is stripped away (this ain’t about love or marriage), it makes endless fun of its very dumb contestants, and at times, it is genuinely funny.
“FBoy Island” is a comedy. It’s an unscripted comedy, but it’s a comedy. Yes, it’s a dating show, but it’s also a game show. Can you learn something about people? Absolutely. Does it matter? Not at all. And we’re not going to pretend it does. We’re not gonna pretend that everything we’re doing is for the eventual relationships. We want people to find real relationships, but we’re making a comedy, and we want people to laugh and we want people to be free and express themselves fully. And I’d say that for the most part, most dating shows are melodramas. You know, the battle of the villains and the heroes and good and evil and “will love prevail.” And I love those shows. We want to make something f—ing ridiculous.
It ain’t award-winning television — just the opposite, but sometimes that is exactly what you’re looking for, most especially in a brutally hot summer. But strong caveat: if you don’t have time for trash like The Bachelorette — and who does, really? — do not waste your time on this. And if you do waste your time on this, do not come back and complain to me.
I…worked on this story for a year…and…he just…he tweeted it out.
— Jared Yates Sexton (@JYSexton) July 11, 2017
Matthew Modine is in severe denial about his character’s fate on Stranger Things. Dude, it’s over. Move on.
The Russo Brothers, who are promoting their upcoming Netflix movie The Gray Man, don’t have time for your reverence for the movie-going experience: “A thing to remember, too, is it’s an elitist notion to be able to go to a theater. It’s very fucking expensive. So, this idea that was created — that we hang on to — that the theater is a sacred space, is bullshit. And it rejects the idea of allowing everyone in under the tent.”
Gentleman Jack may not be dead after all.
Some business news: Netflix’s Q2 was not as catastrophic as predicted, and lost only 1 million subscribers, not the 2 million anticipated. Thanks, Stranger Things!
Also, and I read this as a positive development, but Casey Bloys has signed a 5-year deal to stay on as HBO’s chief content officer. This would be a given pretty much any other time: the man has delivered for the network in the seven years that he’s been in this role. But in the wake of the Warner Bros. Discovery merger, it wasn’t necessarily a given. Hopefully, this bodes well for HBO keeping its identity as one of the premiere content providers.
Heads up, Only Murders in the Building fans:
ESPN+ is about to become more expensive.
In non-news: here’s the house where they are not filming Jersey Shore 2.0.
Rafael Caro Quintero, the subject of Narcos: Mexico on Netflix, has been caught by law enforcement.
Here’s a handy chart for anyone about to make a TV show or film, and looking for someplace to film that might offer them some delicious tax incentives. Yes, Georgia is offering the most money, but this chart helpfully demonstrates that there are several other states offering tax breaks who have legalized abortion and won’t trample your female employees’ rights to bodily autonomy. May I suggest you consider your production look into one of those locations instead?
Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Affleck!
Cancellations
- Close Enough has been canceled after three seasons on HBO Max.
In Development
- Netflix is making more Fear Street films.
- The Man Who Broke The Bank is being developed as a four-part limited series for the U.K.
- Channel 4 is making a docuseries about Boris Johnson.
Casting News
- Jonno Roberts has joined the cast of La Brea on NBC.
- Rafael Casal is joining Loki on Disney+.
- Genevieve Angelson has joined The Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu.
- Zackary Momoh has joined The Driver on AMC.
- Takumi Kitamura will star in Yu Yu Hakusho on Netflix.
Mark Your Calendar
- The Idol will premiere on HBO soon.
- Surfside Girls will debut on Apple TV+ on August 19.
- Masaba Masaba returns on Netflix on July 29.
- Kevin Can F**k Himself will return on AMC on August 22.
- Central Park will return on Apple TV+ on September 9.
- Marvel’s Spidey and His Amazing Friends returns on Disney Channel on August 19.
R.I.P.
Jak Knight, Comedian and voice actor and writer on Big Mouth
Bobby East, NASCAR driver
Martine Marignac, French film producer
WATCH THIS
The Bachelorette: The men are objectified and then there are one-on-one dates. 7 p.m., ABC
2022 Home Run Derby: Kyle Schwarber, Albert Pujols, Pete Alonso, Ronald Acuna Jr., Corey Seager, Julio Rodriguez, Juan Soto, and Jose Ramirez swing for the fences. 7 p.m., ESPN
The Captain: This docuseries explores the life and times of Derek Jeter, one of the greatest Yankees players in modern times. Premiere. 9 p.m., ESPN
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jane Fonda, Joe Keery, Saucy Santana
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Billy Bob Thornton, Nikki Glaser, Andrew Marshall
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Billy Crystal, Paul Hollywood
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Quentin Tarantino, Julia Garner, DOMi & JD Beck featuring Anderson .Paak, guest host Dana Carvey
- The Daily Show: TBA
- Watch What Happens Live: Lizzo
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Bachelorette (new) |
Claim to Fame (new) |
| CBS | The Neighborhood (repeat) |
Bob ♥ Abishola (repeat) |
NCIS (repeat) |
NCIS: Hawai’i (repeat) |
| CW | Roswell, New Mexico (new) |
In the Dark (new) |
Local |
| FOX | Don’t Forget the Lyrics! (new) |
Beat Shazam (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | American Ninja Warrior (new) |
Weakest Link |
My last movie theater experience: 2 guys showed up an hour into the movie. Were completely lost, talked over the movie endlessly, asked me what I’m gonna do about it when I asked them to be quiet. So I got the manager. They left. No refund. So I’m gonna have to watch Thor again when it’s on Disney +.
I truly enjoyed the Fear Street trilogy, but honestly think they should leave well enough alone. I’ll still tune in if they go through with it though.