Take just a minute to stop rage scrolling. Look at puppies. Breathe. pic.twitter.com/5XlyZg2EbQ
— Blue Heron Farm (@BlueHeronFarmTX) May 3, 2022
“The unborn” are a convenient group of people to advocate for. They never make demands of you; they are morally uncomplicated, unlike the incarcerated, addicted, or the chronically poor; they don’t resent your condescension or complain that you are not politically correct; unlike widows, they don’t ask you to question patriarchy; unlike orphans, they don’t need money, education, or childcare; unlike aliens, they don’t bring all that racial, cultural, and religious baggage that you dislike; they allow you to feel good about yourself without any work at creating or maintaining relationships; and when they are born, you can forget about them, because they cease to be unborn. You can love the unborn and advocate for them without substantially challenging your own wealth, power, or privilege, without re-imagining social structures, apologizing, or making reparations to anyone. They are, in short, the perfect people to love if you want to claim you love Jesus, but actually dislike people who breathe. Prisoners? Immigrants? The sick? The poor? Widows? Orphans? All the groups that are specifically mentioned in the Bible? They all get thrown under the bus for the unborn.”
As you well know by now, a draft of a 5-4 opinion to overthrow Roe v. Wade written by Supreme Court Justice Alito was leaked to Politico last night, suggesting that the Court is prepared to overturn the right to a safe abortion that women in this country have had for the past (almost) 50 years.
The decision is not final — and let me be clear, abortion is still legal in this country as of right now (except in bullshit states like my own which has had an insane law on its books for the past seven months), so if you or someone you know is planning on having an abortion soon, you still have the right to do so.
While the right is setting their hair on fire about the leak and the “sanctity of the Court” (as if that wasn’t thrown out the fucking window when Mitch McConnell sat on Merrick Garland’s nomination), the real fucking issue is what this ruling — if it stands, which everyone believes it will — will do to women’s rights and bodily autonomy. This decision will lead to forced births, unnecessary deaths, unwanted and uncared for children, and untold trauma, especially among the poorest and already least supported people in this country. It is terrifying. It is infuriating.
Multiple states in this country have already written laws ready to go into effect the moment Roe v. Wade is overturned that will prevent abortions in the event of rape, incest, and even potentially fatal ectopic pregnancies. There are eight states where abortion will become a felony, including here in Texas.
"A child who is, in fact, living out part of his or her early life as an ectopic pregnancy is still a unique human being with its own DNA. I don't understand why we allow those children to be murdered."—Okla Sen. Warren Hamilton
— Kendall Brown (@kendallybrown) April 29, 2022
In case anyone forgot, if Roe v. Wade is overturned, abortion laws revert to state laws — and Wisconsin is one of eight states that makes abortion a felony, with penalties of up to six years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000.
(The law was written in 1849.)
— Allison Garfield (@aligarfield_) May 3, 2022
The second Roe is struck down, it will be a first degree felony—punishable by life in prison—for a Texas doctor to perform an abortion for a woman who was raped and impregnated by a family member. pic.twitter.com/cjAWkgMxAL
— Sawyer Hackett (@SawyerHackett) May 3, 2022
Also, a story just came out yesterday that the GOP is already talking about instituting a law banning abortion nationally in the event they take over the House and Senate. Alito’s draft ruling, which suggests that the abortion issue should be determined by legislatures, not courts, invites the GOP to do just that. So this won’t just be a Red State/Blue State debate. The GOP wants to control everyone’s uteruses.
And then there’s the disturbing part in the decision that suggests that gay marriage could be the next to go.
Alito's draft opinion explicitly criticizes Lawrence v. Texas (legalizing sodomy) and Obergefell v. Hodges (legalizing same-sex marriage). He says that, like abortion, these decisions protect phony rights that are not "deeply rooted in history." https://t.co/4690k0KG1F pic.twitter.com/urF7A02INU
— Mark Joseph Stern (@mjs_DC) May 3, 2022
Additionally, Griswold vs. Connecticut, the landmark case that ruled that married couples could purchase contraception without government interference, it’s on the table now, too. It served as precedent for Roe, so therefore by GOP logic, if the law isn’t right in Roe, then it doesn’t stand in Griswold. If the Supreme Court can yank one Constitutional right away from people, what is to stop them from taking others?
Roe v. Wade was decided the same year I was born: I’ve never known an America in which women did not have autonomy over their own bodies. While that right to bodily autonomy has been fought viciously in my 49 years on this planet, it had never been fully pulled down until maybe now. I am furious, I am saddened, I am exhausted, but mostly, I’m scared. I am scared of what this decision means for every woman in this country, I am scared of what this decision could mean in the future for my gay child, I am scared of what this decision could mean for the stability of our country as a whole.
All I can say is be prepared to march and fight and call your representatives and, of course, vote. The midterms are coming and they are the most important of our lives.
She tweeted this from the lady’s room at the Met Gala. Could’ve been in the Oval with two judges she appointed on the Supreme Court. Elections matter. https://t.co/GBATfRlalZ
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) May 3, 2022
every year during the met gala someone compares it to the hunger games capitol but tonight's is getting a little too close to that vibe!!!
— morgan sung (@morgan_sung) May 3, 2022
gilded age? looks like the supreme court understood the assignment (i am hit by a throwing axe between the eyes)
— sara murder house flip on quibi (@boneysoups) May 3, 2022
ALL OTHER TV NEWS
Norman Reedus talked about the Melissa McBride departure from The Walking Dead spinoff, but he doesn’t say anything here that you didn’t already know.
Remember the Grey’s Anatomy writer who was suspended after it was revealed that she lied about her medical history — a medical history that served as inspiration on the show? Yeah, her story is MUCH darker than just lying about having cancer.
Some Peacock business: Bel-Air has become their most-watched show. Considering the publicity and marketing push, including debuting it on Super Bowl Sunday, it seems like Peacock knew they had a winner.
Something is happening over on the set of Saint X on Hulu. The crew members walked off the set claiming they haven’t been paid overtime, and Fear the Walking Dead star Alycia Debnam-Carey has replaced Victoria Pedretti as the star of the series. Messy!
American Idol winner Laine Hardy allegedly left a recording device in his ex-girlfriend’s dorm room to record her conversations following their breakup. He was arrested by Louisiana State University police last week. But don’t worry: his performance on last night’s American Idol aired anyway.
“I did something I thought was funny, and it wasn’t taken that way,” Murray said. “The company, the movie studio, wanted to do the right thing, so they wanted to check it all out, investigate it. and so they stopped the production. But as of now, we’re talking and we’re trying to make peace with each other. I think that’s where the real issue is, between our peace. We’re both professionals. We like each other’s work. We like each other, I think, and if you can’t really get along and trust each other, there’s no point in going further working together or making a movie as well.
“It’s been quite an education for me.
“And I feel like if I don’t see that, you know, the world is different than it was when I was a little kid. You know, what I always thought was funny as a little kid isn’t necessarily the same as what’s funny now. Things change and the times change, so it’s important for me to figure it out. And I think the most important thing is that it’s best for the other person. I thought about it, and if it’s not best for the other person, doesn’t matter what happens for me.
“How could I misperceive? How could I be so inaccurate and so insensitive when you think you’re being sensitive to some sensibility that you’ve had for a long time? So we’re talking about it. We’re, I think we’re gonna make peace with it. I’m very optimistic about that.”
MLB’s Trevor Bauer was suspended for two years following an investigation into claims he sexually assaulted a woman. Hours after the MLB’s decision was released, a third woman came forward claiming he had assaulted her, too.
90 Day Fiancé‘s Caroline Schwitzky survived a murder attempt by her boyfriend in full view of multiple witnesses.
Adrian Peterson is not facing domestic violence charges, having agreed to domestic violence and alcohol abuse counseling instead.
Megan Fox opened up about being ahead of the curve on the #MeToo moment, and how even though she was calling out abuses in 2008 and 2009, she also was never fully embraced by feminists.
Drew Barrymore had to apologize for comments she made about the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial, after calling it “a seven-layer dip of insanity.” She added: “I understand all the feelings, but they are actually offering up this information that nobody had to know. This is crazy!” While Barrymore shouldn’t have been so flip with the use of the words “crazy” and “insanity” in a case where both parties are clearly dealing with mental health issues, the truth is this is a completely unnecessary trial on Depp’s part (that he will probably lose) that is digging out a lot of damaging material on both parties. So blast me in the comments if you need to, but she’s also kinda not wrong. Also, Johnny Depp stans are delusional. ~runs away~
- Queer Eye has been renewed for season seven on Netflix, and they are headed to New Orleans. So if you know anyone who needs a makeover in NOLA …
- Bosch: Legacy has been renewed for a second season on Freevee.
- The Freak Brothers has been renewed for a second season on Tubi.
- Game Theory with Bomani Jones has been renewed for a second season on HBO Max.
- This Joka has been canceled at Roku after one season. Though it was produced by Will Smith, reportedly the cancelation had nothing to do with The Slap, and everything to do with contractual issues.
- A new Jackass series is in the works at Paramount+.
- Obliterated, a comedy series from the producers of Cobra Kai, is coming to Netflix, having originally been ordered at TBS.
- The Water of Life, a documentary about the Scottish whisky industry, is coming to PBS
- Peacock has signed a deal with Lionsgate to stream their films on the platform beginning in 2024.
- Roku has signed deals with Martha Stewart, Emeril Lagasse, and Christopher Kimball.
- And here are a bunch of shows Freevee is picking up.
- Dead End: Paranormal Park is coming to Netflix soon. It’s one of a number of kids animated series coming to Netflix. More here.
- Pictionary, a syndicated game show hosted by Jerry O’Connell, has been picked up in 90% of the U.S. markets.
- The Wonder Twins film that was previously announced at HBO Max has been canceled. Another casualty of the Warner Bros. Discovery development.
- Jeff Daniels will star in A Man in Full on Netflix.
- William Fichtner will co-star in the ABC drama pilot The Company You Keep.
- Caroline Day is joining the cast of Riverdale on The CW.
- Kate Walsh is joining the Greg Garcia comedy Sprung on Freevee.
- J. Smith Cameron, Poorna Jagannathan, and Maliq Johnson have joined the cast of Turtles All the Way Down on HBO Max.
- Louis Partridge has joined the cast of Disclaimer on Apple TV+.
- Teri Hatcher and James Denton will guest star on Fantasy Island on Fox.
Mark Your Calendars
- Iron Chef: Quest will debut on Netflix on June 15.
- George Carlin’s American Dream will debut on HBO on May 20.
- All Rise returns on OWN on June 7.
- Trixie Motel will premiere on Discovery+ on June 3.
- Supernature will premiere on Netflix on May 24.
— Netflix Is A Joke (@NetflixIsAJoke) May 2, 2022
- Hollywood Stargirl will premiere on Disney+ on June 3.
- The Valet will premiere on Hulu on May 20.
- Hollywood Houselift with Jeff Lewis will debut on Freevee on June 10.
- Yo! MTV Raps premieres on Paramount+ on May 24.
- Mamas premieres on Roku on May 6.
- The Life and Movies of Ersan Kuneri will debut on Netflix on May 13.
- The Ultimate Fighter: Team Pena vs. Team Nunes will debut on ESPN+ on May 3.
- The Great Food Truck Race returns on Food Network and Discovery+ on June 5.
- Baby Drivers premieres on Discovery+ on May 23.
David Birney, Actor who starred in Bridget Loves Bernie, the TV adaptation of Serpico, and St. Elsewhere
Jerry VerDorn, One Life to Live and Guiding Light actor
Kailia Posey, Toddlers and Tiaras star, known for this gif:
Ron Galella, “Godfather of Paparazzi”
Holey Moley: The Muppets visit the course in the season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
The Chase: Brandon “The Lightning Bolt” Blackwell joins the show as a new Chaser. Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC
Who Do You Believe?: This new series explores true crime cases from two different perspectives, challenging the viewer to determine who is telling the truth. 9 p.m., ABC
This Is Us: Miguel’s story is finally told. 8 p.m., NBC
Spring Awakening: Those You’ve Known: This documentary chronicles a 15-year reunion concert with the original cast to benefit The Actor’s Fund. Premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Benedict Cumberbatch, Sydney Sweeney, Father John Misty
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Bill Hader, Minnie Driver, Hernan Diaz, Kristina Schiano
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: José Andrés, Ron Howard, Lucius featuring Sheryl Crow
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Tom Cruise, Monica Barbaro, Teddy Swims
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Mike Myers, Mike Birbiglia, the Black Crowes
- The Daily Show: TBA
- Watch What Happens Live: Elisabeth Moss, John Benjamin Hickey
|Who Do You Believe?
|FBI: Most Wanted
|CW||Superman & Lois
|Name That Tune
|This Is Us