Ted Cruz is out here fantasizing about some weird shit.

by Therese Odell, posted in Uncategorized

BONK.

an adorable seal being derpy from AnimalsBeingDerps

All Other TV News

Netflix had its Q1 investors’ meeting yesterday, and it did not go great. In that first quarter, the streaming service that has been at the vanguard of the industry, lost 200,000 subscribers and projects to lose another 2 million this quarter (!!!). It is the first time the streaming service has lost subscribers in 10 years.

To combat this bleed, Netflix is going to crack down on password sharing about a year from now; and do the unthinkable: add an ad-supported subscription level.

These changes didn’t do a lot to quell investor fears, and the stock price plummeted 35% on opening this morning, losing $50 billion in value. And Elon Musk is out here talking shit. Yep! “Wokeness” is what the problem is and not a sudden ton of competition from other streaming services and inflation pinching people’s wallets.

Anyway. Two other bits of interesting information out of yesterday’s meeting: Bridgerton season two has somehow outpaced Bridgerton season one; The Tinder Swindler is now Netflix’s most-watched documentary.

In other not surprising news, The Kardashians is Hulu’s most-watched premiere.

HERE’S AN IDEA ON HOW TO GET SUBSCRIBERS BACK TO NETFLIX: RENEW MINDHUNTER FOR SEASON THREE.

When Donald Glover is jealous of your show? You’ve made a good show.

Black-ish‘s series finale aired last night, and the Johnson family makes a big move. You can read what happened here if you don’t feel like watching. There was supposed to be a B-plot line involving Junior that would have set up his decision to go back to college (which then leads into his joining grown-ish next season) but they had to cut it for time.

OK, this is fun:

Add Jerry West to the list of people who are REALLY UNHAPPY with HBO’s Winning Time. He’s going so far as to demand an apology for his portrayal in the season.

Liza Minnelli’s friend Michael Feinstein claims that she didn’t need to be in a wheelchair at the Oscars, that the producers forced her to use it moments before going on stage. Minnelli reportedly has a bad back and wanted to use a director’s chair, but when the producers changed their minds, it left her “discombobulated,” and seemingly out of it. What a mess.

Ron DeSantis is calling for Florida to repeal Disney’s special district designation at their Walt Disney Resort in Orlando because they exercised their First Amendment rights to criticize his dumb and bad “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Leaving aside this potential legislation is specifically targeting one company for their constitutionally protected viewpoint, if Florida goes through with this, it will actually cost Florida taxpayers millions when they have to fund all the services that Disney is currently paying for. As the saying goes, fuck around and find out, Ron.

Meanwhile, Ted Cruz has lost his goddamned mind:

Does Cinemax regularly show animal porn?

Wimbledon has banned Russian and Belarusian players from the Grand Slam tennis tournament as a response to the invasion of Ukraine. GOOD. The Russians are calling it “unfair.” CRY MORE.

Bill O’Reilly had a full Karen meltdown on some poor Jet Blue employee because his flight was delayed. This is on-brand.

Ezra Miller has been arrested in Hawaii again. I hope they get the help they clearly need.

Going Viral

Last Week:

New York Times

This Week:

New York Times

H’oh boy. And you know what has me concerned is not just the rise in case numbers  — though that’s not great — it’s that the downward trend of hospitalizations is slowing way down. Keep an eye on those numbers, because if they start trending positive again, so will the deaths. I just worry it’s going to be another rough summer.

And just in time for the mask mandate to be lifted on domestic flights! Listen, I agree that we can’t keep the masks on forever. But the abruptness of the judge’s order to lift the mandates — immediately — did not give people (who might be immunocompromised or unvaccinated for health or age reasons) time to plan. People literally ripped their masks off mid-flight when the order came in. That’s not great!

And COVID is still out there in a big way:

New York City DJ Kay died of COVID.

Barry Manilow had to miss the opening night of a musical he wrote because he was positive. “This just might be the cruelest thing that has ever happened to me: 25 years waiting for this show to premiere in New York and I can’t attend.”

Jenna Bush Hager tested positive last week.

Julianne Hough has tested positive and will miss her Broadway debut in POTUS: Or, Behind Every Great Dumbass Are Seven Women Trying to Keep Him Alive.

Broadway’s Macbeth cast is so riddled with COVID that the director of the play had to take the stage last week.

Fortunately, Broadway isn’t stupid and keeping their mask policy in place through May.

Aaron Paul was supposed to make a cameo in the upcoming movie Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, but couldn’t because he tested positive.

And you know what really chaps my hide is that the only reason this virus has become less of a threat is because of the prevalence of the vaccine. So of COURSE these two assholes are out here undermining them:

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Shoresy will premiere on Hulu on May 27.
  • Red Table Talk returns on Facebook Watch today.

  • Who Killed Sara? will return on Netflix on May 18.
  • Ghost Adventures: House Calls will premiere on Discovery+ on May 19.
  • Prehistoric Planet will debut on Apple TV+ on May 23.
  • A La Carte will premiere on ALLBLK on May 12.
  • Origins of Hip Hop will debut on A&E on May 30.
  • Welcome to Eden will premiere on Netflix on May 6.
  • Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous returns on Netflix on July 21.
  • Cyber Hell: Exposing an Internet Horror will debut on Netflix on May 18.
  • Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045 Sustainable War will premiere on Netflix on May 9.
  • Showtime 1958 will debut on Netflix on May 3.
  • The Orville returns on Hulu on June 2.
  • The Chi will return on streaming on June 24 and on Showtime on June 26.

 

R.I.P.

Mercedes Angelica LeAnza, Lead creative producer at Amazon

WATCH THIS

Russian Doll: The wildest (and best) Groundhog Day take is back this time with 100% more time travel. Season premiere. Netflix

The Real World New Orleans: Homecoming: I was living in New Orleans when this season filmed, that’s how old I am. Series premiere. Paramount+

So Criminal It’s Dumb Hosted by Snoop Dogg: Comedians host crime clips and surveillance videos in this new rip-off of The Soup. Series premiere. Peacock

Freddie Mercury: The Final Act: A look back at the end of Freddie Mercury’s life and the tribute concert Queen threw after his death. 7 p.m., The CW

Captive Audience: This documentary explores the true story of the Stayner family: one brother was abducted as a child, and miraculously returned; the other brother led a much darker life. Premiere. Hulu

Betsy & Irv: A woman was raped by a Penn State football player four decades ago, and became a social pariah for speaking out. However, she found support in an unexpected place: another football player on the team told her he believed her and became her protector. Their story is told in this extraordinary documentary now streaming on ESPN+

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Marlon Wayans, Natasha Lyonne, Dove Cameron
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kaley Cuoco, Aasif Mandvi, Amyl and the Sniffers
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Alexander Skarsgård, Jack White
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Pete Holmes, Lucy Boynton, Jay Jurden
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Nicolas Cage, Vanessa Bayer, Noah Cyrus
  • The Daily Show: Gabriel Iglesias
  • Watch What Happens Live: June Diane Raphael, Brooklyn Decker

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)		 The Wonder Years
(new)		 The Conners
(repeat)		 Home Economics
(new)		 A Million Little Things
(new)
CBS Survivor
(new)		 Beyond the Edge
(new)		 Good Sam
(new)
CW Freddie Mercury: The Final Act (2021)
(new)		 Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)		 Domino Masters
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(new)		 Chicago Fire
(new)		 Chicago P.D.
(new)

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