Today’s free advice: Do not start a Twitter fight with the guy who created ‘The Wire,’ it won’t go well for you.

It’s Wednesday, and I’ve never taken a photo as good as either of these photos of this possum:

 

Major League Baseball has chosen Denver as the host of this year’s All-Star Game after pulling it out of Georgia in response to the passage of their voter suppression bill. Some right-wing dummies are whinging that Colorado’s voting laws are similar to the new Georgia laws, but that just is not true. Allow White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki explain it to you very slowly, Peter Doocy:

Meanwhile, Mitch Motherfucking McConnell has the GALL to warn corporations to stay out of politics, while simultaneously holding out his hand, demanding contributions from those same corporations. He literally said, “stay out of politics,” before adding, “I’m not talking about political contributions.” Because the only acceptable way for a corporation to express their First Amendment rights is through dark PAC contributions.

I don’t know how it is that after all this time I can still be shocked at McConnell’s complete lack of principles, but here I am, again.

Unsolved Mysteries’ episode on the mysterious death of Alonzo Brooks has led to a new homicide investigation into his death. Good.

Shameless comes to an end this Sunday, and Showtime will host a post-finale panel with the cast.

AMC+ has now launched on YouTube TV.

Some actor I’ve never heard of — Zach Avery? also known as Zachary Horwitz? ~shrugs~ — has been arrested in a $227 million Ponzi scheme which involved him faking emails from HBO Max and Netflix about film distribution deals that never existed. $227 MILLION! 

Tyler Perry and Kim Kardashian are now officially billionaires. And say what you will about them, they didn’t even use a Ponzi scheme to get there!

Dear Piers Morgan:

Do not step to David Simon, creator of The Wire, because you will not win. Seriously, though, you’re just making us all cringe.

Signed,

Everyone.

P.S. Aaron Sorkin isn’t half the writer that David Simon is.

Going Viral

Ugh, yesterday we had 907 deaths here in the United States, which is far from the all-time high of over 4,000 in one day, but is also nearly twice as many deaths as we had on Monday, and more than three times as many as were recorded on Sunday. Stay vigilant.

California is trying to be positive — in a good way — and Governor Newsom announced the state would open back up by June 15. But unlike our stupid state, masks will still be required and there is no timeline for ending the requirement. Why is that so hard?

Also in good news: Tyler Perry is ending the quarantine bubble at his Georgia studio, now that his crew, their friends, and family have been vaccinated in a mass vaccination event. Have to say, Tyler Perry has handled this entire pandemic really well and other studios should take note.

NBA star Karl-Anthony Towns received the vaccine close to the anniversary of his mother’s death from the virus.

About 80% of K-12 teachers and staff have been vaccinated with at least one dose, thank God.

Once we get the virus under control here in the States, we need to make sure the rest of the world gets vaccinated, too, not just for their health and safety, but also for our own. However, according to Vanity Fair, the contracts that the previous administration drew up with the vaccine makers strictly prohibit the surplus of vaccine here to be distributed outside of the United States. The deal protected the vaccine makers from liability, and it allowed Former President Go It Alone to project his whole “America First” bullshit. Of course, viruses don’t give a shit about international borders, but try to explain that to people on the far right of the spectrum.

60 Minutes ran a segment suggesting that Florida Governor Ron DeSantis showed favoritism to a corporate donor in how he handled the vaccine rollout, and DeSantis is all, “nuH-Uh.”

Oscar nominees apparently will qualify as “essential workers” to be able to attend the ceremony this year. I mean, OK. But who are we kidding?

Renewals

  • Duncanville has been renewed for a third season at Fox.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Pose returns on FX for its final season on May 2.
  • Those Who Wish Me Dead will debut in theaters and on HBO Max on May 14.
  • Jupiter’s Legacy will debut on Netflix on May 7.
  • Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street will be released in theaters and on VOD on May 7.
  • Monster will debut on Netflix on May 7.
  • The Mosquito Coast will premiere on Apple TV+ on April 30.
  • Michael Phelps: Medals, Memories & More will premiere on Peacock on April 14.
  • Life Under Renovation will debut on Discovery+ on April 28.
  • Spy City will debut on AMC+ on April 15.
  • Trash Truck returns on Nick Jr. on May 4.

R.I.P.

Midwin Charles, Legal analyst on CNN, HLN, MSNBC, Bloomberg TV, and TV One

Joe Krebs, A longtime Washington D.C. newsman

Mark Elliott, Voice actor who was the voice of most Disney trailers

Alcee Hastings, Former Congressman and civil rights activist

WATCH THIS

Home Economics: Topher Grace, Karla Souza, Sasheer Zamata, and Jimmy Tatro star in this new family comedy about three siblings who live in very different economic conditions. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC

Kung Fu: A remake of the 70s David Keith martial arts drama, but this time cast with actual Asians. What a concept! Series premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Exterminate All the Brutes: This docuseries is a look at how hate and bigotry have been institutionalized throughout history. Series premiere.  8 p.m., HBO

Dolly Parton: A Musicares Special: SHE IS AN ANGEL AMONGST US. Premiere. Netflix

The Wedding Coach: Comedian Jamie Lee helps engaged couples navigate the planning of a wedding with irreverent tips and hints. Premiere. Netflix

This is a Robbery: The World’s Biggest Art Heist: An examination of a notorious museum heist in Boston in 1990. Premiere. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Denis Leary, Cristin Milioti, Rod Wave
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Leslie Odom Jr., Michio Kaku
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Kenan Thompson, Julien Baker
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Luke Bryan, Katey Sagal
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Lil Rel Howery
  • Watch What Happens Live: Elizabeth Perkins, Margaret Josephs
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Amber Ruffin

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Goldbergs
(new)
Home Economics
(new)
The Conners
(new)
The Conners
(new)
A Million Little Things
(new)
CBS Tough As Nails
(new)
SEAL Team
(new)
S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Kung Fu
(new)
Nancy Drew
(new)
Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)
Game of Talents
(new)
News/Local
NBC Chicago Med
(new)
Chicago Fire
(new)
Chicago P.D.
(new)

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