It’s Tuesday, and we’ve suffered a second horrific mass shooting in less than a week. I have so many thoughts and feelings — mostly fury at how stubbornly ineffectual our country is and cynical dread that this will change absolutely nothing — and I don’t have the words yet. So here’s a handful of a baby goat.
*hands u this* hey hey hold this for a sec pic.twitter.com/KkR7ZWGEEx— krissy ༘♡ (@doIIydisorder) March 12, 2021
All Other TV News
John Oliver tore Meghan McCain a new asshole on Sunday for brushing off Trump calling COVID-19 “China Virus” and “Kung Flu,” and then turning around and doing performative lip service about racism against Asians following the Atlanta shootings. She’s sorry, y’all.
I condemn the reprehensible violence and vitriol that has been targeted towards the Asian-American community. There is no doubt Donald Trump’s racist rhetoric fueled many of these attacks and I apologize for any past comments that aided that agenda.— Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) March 22, 2021
We have a title for American Horror Story‘s 10th season:
LOL, Rudy Guiliani tried to get the Borat crew arrested for “extortion,” and the crew had to hide tapes in their pants to protect the footage.
Bethenny Frankel is FINALLY divorced after an 8-year court battle. She’s been trying to divorce this asshole for more than half of the time Real Housewives have existed.
Someone is writing a book about The Apprentice five years too late.
Were any of the millions of physicians who *didn't* promote harmful policy on FNC not available?— Patrick Claybon (@PatrickClaybon) March 22, 2021
Do not hold your breath for an “Ayer” cut of Suicide Squad. (Of course, they said the Snyder cut of Justice League would never happen, too, so …)
Get better soon, Chevy Chase, you old crank.
It turns out sex monsters don’t take vacations from being sex monsters.
14 lawsuits have been filed against Houston Texans quarterback, Deshaun Watson, accusing him of sexual assault, and according to lawyer Tony Buzbee, as many as 22 women have similar stories. The lawsuits involve massage therapists who claim Watson exposed himself, forced them to touch him, and groped them. Watson denies all the accusations and has blamed COVID in a roundabout way. The NFL is investigating.
Armie Hammer is being investigated for rape in a 2017 incident by the Los Angeles Police Department. A wild Vanity Fair piece about Hammer and his insanely rich and crazy family was published a week before this news broke. It’s … a whole lot.
Harding said Middleditch made lewd sexual overtures toward her and her girlfriend. She turned him down, but he kept pursuing her, groping her in front of her friends and several employees, including the club’s operations manager, Kate Morgan.
Morgan said she asked her bosses to kick Middleditch out and ban him, but they didn’t seem to take it seriously.
“I felt like they dismissed it,” she said. “I told Adam that he needed to listen, that this was not OK.”
Harding has Instagram direct messages from Middleditch, seen by The Times, saying, “Hannah I had no idea my actions were that weird for you … I know you probably want to just put me on blast as a monster … I don’t expect you to want to be my friend or anything … I am so ashamed I made you uncomfortable.”
Middleditch had raised some eyebrows back in 2019 when he gave an interview to Playboy, revealing that he and his wife were swingers, though the way he presented it sounded like he pressured his wife into the lifestyle: “To her credit, instead of saying ‘F*** you, I’m out,’ she was like, ‘Let’s figure this out.’ To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage.” Spoiler alert: his wife filed for divorce 9 months later.
“Like, there’s a difference between assault and just kind of strange sex. You don’t want to live in a world where it’s just so stiff that there’s no, I don’t know, something? I don’t know where I’m going with that, but I don’t really know enough about [the allegations against T.J. Miller] to comment on. Just don’t know about it, really. But it is tricky, you know. It’s weird. It’s like we live in a world where currently the climate, let’s say, is where a j’accuse will really turn your world upside down.
“I think that’s the tricky thing with all this stuff. Speaking as a guy, as a man, as a male human, it’s kind of scary, with this fervor that’s surrounding it, where an allegation can just pop up and then it’s really incumbent upon you to fervently defend your character. I’m not gonna dive into what’s real or not. I’m just saying it’s a little bit scary for a man.”
Yep! It’s definitely a scary time to be a guy. Terrifying.
One of his Silicon Valley co-stars:
Tried to warn you all about Middleditch but noooooo not everyone’s favorite tinyman who looks like he lives in a clock!— Alice Wetterlund (@alicewetterlund) March 21, 2021
We haven’t forgotten about Andrew Cuomo! A sixth accuser came to light last week — a current member of his staff. Interestingly, she wasn’t the one to report the incident, other members of his staff did. Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand have called for Cuomo to resign. The New York State Assembly is opening an impeachment inquiry into Cuomo’s behavior and President Biden said Cuomo should resign and be prosecuted if investigations confirm he harassed these women.
Meanwhile, Cuomo is blaming “cancel culture.” OK, dude.
Andrew Cuomo says he’s not going to resign, saying people know the difference between “playing politics, bowing to cancel culture, and the truth.”— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) March 12, 2021
Says he was not elected by politicians but the people pic.twitter.com/9m0Q73VQbc
The documentary filmmakers who made Allen v. Farrow have said Woody Allen is welcome to tell his story to them anytime and denies his claim that he wasn’t given a proper chance to respond to the documentary’s allegations. Meanwhile, a local politician returned a donation Allen and his wife, Soon-Yi made because fuck off, predator.
Demi Lovato has opened up about the night she nearly died of an overdose, claiming that her drug dealer raped her and left her for dead. She also revealed that she was raped when she was 15 and a Disney star. Just heartbreaking.
A woman has come forward claiming that YouTube star David Dobrik and his Vlog Squad, a group of fellow YouTubers, drugged and raped her and taped the whole thing. Dobrik has offered an apology twice now.
Former Dr. Phil guest Danielle Bregoli detailed abuse she experienced at Turn-About Ranch, the ranch Dr. Phil sends troubled teens. A fellow Dr. Phil guest, Hannah Archuleta, accused one of the staffers of sexual assault.
This man who abruptly quit the private-equity firm he co-founded paid Jeffrey Epstein $158 million for “tax advice.” Note: Jeffrey Epstein was a college dropout with no training in tax or estate planning. NOT SUSPICIOUS IN THE LEAST.
Britney Spears’ dad says that she can end the conservatorship “at any time.” LOL, OK. BBC Two is working on a documentary of their own about this whole mess.
The NCAA came under fire when women’s basketball player Sedona Price revealed the shocking disparities between the women’s weight room and the men’s at the March Madness competition:
Let me put it on Twitter too cause this needs the attention pic.twitter.com/t0DWKL2YHR— Sedona Prince (@sedonaprince_) March 19, 2021
So they slapped together a new weight room REAL FAST:
The women reportedly also had shittier COVID tests and hotel rooms, shocking absolutely no one. These are clear violations of Title IX and someone honestly should sue.
No Republican ever suggests that prayer is the solution for the issues that they want the government to control.— Schooley (@Rschooley) March 23, 2021
There was a minute there last week when people were SO MAD at Former President Injectible Bleach for not making any effort to encourage people to get the vaccine — especially since that asshole got the vaccine himself and didn’t tell anyone. The thinking was that he might be able to convince vaccine-reluctant Republicans to get the shot, and by not speaking out he was not just being negligent, he was also playing politics with people’s lives (again). And I get it! I look for any reason to be mad at that bloated pig, too.
But I found this story about Republican pollster Frank Luntz’s panel with a bunch of Trump voters who are skeptical about the vaccine to be insightful: the people on the panel who changed their minds about receiving the vaccine were convinced by a doctor who told them an overwhelming number of physicians have received the shot and that the vaccine was developed using 20 years of research — it didn’t just spring out of the blue last year. They were irritated by any politicization of the vaccine, including messaging using Former President Seditionist, and said their doctor or spouse would be a more convincing messenger. This is why I thought President Biden’s response to the criticism of Former President Smooth Brain, in which he said doctors and preachers would have more impact in changing skeptics’ minds was not only accurate, but it avoided further politicizing the vaccine by pitting President Biden against Former President Dickknuckle.
So, of course, in an interview with Maria Bartiromo, Former President Malignant Narcissist did come out and tell people to get the vaccine — while in the same breath telling them they didn’t have to if they didn’t want to:
“I know that you received the vaccine,” Bartiromo said, referring to news reports that emerged only after Trump was out of office. “Mrs. Trump also got the vaccine. Would you recommend to our audience that they get the vaccine, then?”
“I would,” Trump replied. “I would recommend it.”
“And,” he continued, “I would recommend it to a lot of people that don’t want to get it. And a lot of those people voted for me, frankly.” The escape hatch: “But I — again, we have our freedoms, and we have to live by that. And I agree with that also. But it’s a great vaccine. It’s a safe vaccine. And it’s something that works.”
Here in Texas, all adults will be eligible for the vaccine as of Monday of next week! GO GET IT!
Texas to open #COVID19 vaccination to all adults on March 29.— Texas DSHS (@TexasDSHS) March 23, 2021
With every dose, Texas gets closer to normal and protects more lives from COVID-19 hospitalization and death.
For more info, read the #TexasDSHSNewsRelease: https://t.co/7eXWP1eM4Q#COVID19TX #HealthyTexas pic.twitter.com/HNOugKRdXh
The Oscars will be in person, but they’re canceling all the other traditional Oscar events, like the Governors Ball and the Oscar Nominees Luncheon. They’ve also clarified that there will not be a single host and that they are reaching out to people to be presenters.
Shakespeare in the Park will return to Central Park this summer.
Regal Cinemas are reopening and despite all the hysteria over Warner Brothers simultaneously releasing their 2021 movies in theaters and on HBO Max, in 2022, their movies will open exclusively in theaters with a 45-day window.
Fox News has announced they’ll be returning to the offices in September. Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson continues pushing anti-vaxx nonsense on his show in primetime.
Survivor is set to start filming again, after having to put production on hiatus.
Bunny costumes are flying off the shelves, suggesting that people are planning to celebrate Easter together.
- Snowfall has been renewed for a fifth season on FX.
- 1,000-lb Sisters has been renewed for a third season on TLC.
- Peppa Pig has been renewed through 2027.
- Tyson, a limited series about Mike Tyson starring Jamie Foxx (are you sure?) is in the works.
- A spinoff of the Hawkeye series is being developed at Disney+.
- The Big D, a dating competition series hosted by JoJo Fletcher and Jordan Rogers, has been greenlit at TBS.
- Black Magic, a comedy produced by the Lonely Island guys, has been given a pilot order at CBS.
- The Zone of Silence, a sci-fi drama is being developed at Peacock.
- Everybody Hates Chris is getting an animated reboot at CBS Studios.
- I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That) is being turned into a relationship competition series. ok.
- Barbie Fashion Battle, a reality competition show about designing clothes for Barbie, is in the works.
- The Mound, an animated comedy is being developed at OWN.
- Verlaque & Bonnet is being adapted into a series by the Harlots team.
- Maddaddam is being developed into a series at Hulu.
- Zombies 3 has been greenlit at Disney Channel.
- Walking Tall, a series remake of the 1973 film starring Charlotte Flair, is in the works at USA.
- GameStop: The Wall Street Hijack is being made at Discovery+.
- Panther Baby, a drama about the Black Panther movement, has been ordered at Starz.
- Shtisel, a popular Israeli drama, is receiving an American remake.
- Monsieur Spade, a drama starring Clive Owen, is being shopped around.
- We Children From Bahnhof Zoo is coming to Amazon.
- Painted with Raven, a makeup reality competition hosted by Raven and produced by RuPaul has been ordered at WOW Presents Plus.
- Ari Aster and Lars Knudsen have signed a first-look deal with A24 Television.
- Blumhouse Television has struck a deal to make horror films for Epix.
- Warner Bros. TV has signed an overall deal with Dr. Phillip Atiba Goff, the Carl I. Hovland Professor of African American Studies at Yale University and Center for Policing Equity co-founder and CEO.
- Pete Browngardt has signed a deal with Warner Bros. Animation and Cartoon Network Studios.
- Elisha “EJ” Williams is the new “Kevin” (but his name is “Dean”) on The Wonder Years reboot pilot at ABC.
- Keanu Reeves will star in Netflix’s BRZRKR, a series based on the comic book created by Reeves.
- Jane Lynch will star in Bucktown, an ABC comedy pilot.
- Forest Whitaker will co-star in the Netflix action film Havoc.
- Tom Hiddleston will co-star in The Essex Serpent on Apple TV+.
- Y’lan Noel will star in The Spook Who Sat by the Door, a drama pilot on FX.
- Andrea Savage will guest star in A Million Little Things on ABC.
- Demián Bichir will star in the Let The Right One In pilot on Showtime.
- Eleanor Fanyinka will star in Epic, a romantic anthology pilot at ABC.
- Shane Paul McGhie, Aimee Carrero, and Maddie Phillips have been added to the cast of The Boys spinoff series on Amazon.
- Devere Rogers has been cast in the OK Boomer pilot at HBO Max.
- Rizwan Manji and Ari Afsar have joined the cast of Wedding Season on Netflix.
- Nicholas Gonzalez and Rohan Mirchandaney have been added to the cast of La Brea on NBC.
- Malcolm Goodwin, Willa Fitzgerald, and Chris Webster are joining Jack Reacher on Amazon.
- Ana Villafañe has joined Younger on Freeform.
- Shakira Barrera is joining Shameless on Showtime.
- Chrissie Fit will join I Know What You Did Last Summer on Amazon.
- Kelvin Hair is joining Ruthless on BET.
- Adjoa Andoh, Cassie Clare, Liz Carr, Graham McTavish, Kevin Doyle, Simon Callow, and Chris Fulton have been added to The Witcher on Netflix.
The Witcher Season 2 — meet the latest cast additions:— Netflix (@netflix) March 22, 2021
Adjoa Andoh as Nenneke
Cassie Clare as Phillippa Eilhart
Liz Carr as Fenn
Graham McTavish as Dijkstra
Kevin Doyle as Ba’lian
Simon Callow as Codringher
Chris Fulton as Rience pic.twitter.com/jkvgTYMfVv
Mark Your Calendars
- Them will premiere on Amazon on April 9.
- Made For Love debuts on HBO Max on April 1.
- Tenet will debut on HBO Max on May 1.
- Concrete Cowboy will debut on Netflix on April 2.
- Dolly Parton: A MusiCares Tribute will stream on Netflix on April 7.
- Rebel debuts on ABC on April 8.
- Rutherford Falls will debut on Peacock on April 22.
- The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers premieres on Disney+ on March 26.
- Women Making History will premiere on Lifetime on March 30.
- Luis Miguel, The Series returns on Netflix on April 18.
- Doing the Most with Phoebe Robinson will debut on Comedy Central on April 9.
- Wild ‘N Out returns on VH1 on April 6.
- Race to the Center of the Earth will debut on National geographic on March 29.
- Izzy’s Koala World is streaming on Netflix Jr.
- Magic for Humans Spain will premiere on Netflix on March 26.
- Have You Ever Seen Fireflies? will debut on Netflix on April 9.
- New Gods: Nezha Reborn will premiere on Netflix on April 12.
Yaphet Kotto, Actor who appeared in Homicide: Life on the Street, Alien, and Live and Let Die
Henry Darrow, Actor who appeared in The High Chaparral, Wagon Train, Bonanza, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Gunsmoke, and Daniel Boone. He was the first Hispanic actor to portray Zorro, and he won a Daytime Emmy for his work on Santa Barbara
Isidore “Izzy” Mankofsky, Cinematographer and director of photography and multiple Emmy nominee
Elgin Baylor, Legendary Lakers player
Barbara Rickles, Don Rickle’s widow and partner
Ronnee Sass, Warner Brothers publicist
G.W. “Skip” Mercier, Set, costume and puppet designer and Tony nominee
Pig Royalty: The world of Texas’ pig competitions is unveiled in this new docuseries. Series premiere. Discovery+
Superman & Lois: The Harvest Festival is celebrated in Smallville in the season finale. 8 p.m., The CW
Frontline: A look at how COVID-19 has changed the funeral business in New Orleans, a town known for its jazz funerals. 7 p.m., PBS
American Masters: Flannery O’Connor, the brilliant and comically dark mid-century Georgia writer, is explored in this documentary. (Confession: O’Connor is one of my favorite writers, and I’m mostly including this to remind myself to record this episode). 7 p.m., PBS
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Chelsea Handler, Russell Brand, Mary Beth Barone
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman, Sebastian Stan, Baratunde Thurston, Ash Soan
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Dana Carvey, Imagine Dragons
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bear Grylls, Middle Kids
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Lisa Vanderpump
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Ayesha Curry
|ABC||To Tell the Truth
|Soul of a Nation
|FBI: Most Wanted
|Superman and Lois
|FOX||Holmes Family Effect
|This Is Us