Wait, where’s Chris Harrison?

It’s a Friday!

A girl plays a tune on her concertina and bewitches an entire herd of cows.

Magical song calms the Savage beasts from Animalsthatlovemagic

They remind me of the cows that we met in Ireland at Michael Collin’s childhood home who were VERY curious about who we were and what we were doing there. We’re city folk, if you couldn’t tell.

OH THIS IS INTERESTING: Chris Harrison is not quarantining with the cast of The Bachelorette who are gearing up to film in New Mexico. Is the show done with him or is he quarantining someplace else while they figure out if they’re bringing him back?

The article says that ABC isn’t rushing to a decision about Harrison’s fate, but my guess is that they are waiting to see how The Bachelor audiences respond to Emmanel Acho as host of the “After the Final Rose” special next week. Stay tuned.

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing, y’all. No one is being blocked from anything, it’s more like a minor scold from Netflix, but who knows when that might change.

The Simpsons‘ lifestyle is no longer attainable for a working-class family of five on one salary.

The Weeknd is boycotting the Grammys which are airing this weekend. Many have accused the Recording Academy of discriminating against Black and female artists and point to secretive and anonymous committees who have final say over the nominees.

HBO Max is aiming for a June debut of their ad-supported platform. HBO originals will not have ads.

Kamala Harris is going to speak at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards this weekend.

We were SO CLOSE to having a Senator Geraldo, but Fox News had to go and ruin everything.

Speaking of ruining everything: Tucker Carlson. This walking turd decided to attack women in the military, and the Pentagon stepped in and gave that prep school trust fund jackass who has never served a day in his life the finger.

Sharon Osborne defended Piers Morgan on The Talk, got into a fight with her Black co-hosts, and used her white lady tears as weapons. She has now apologized for being an asshole. Meanwhile, Piers Morgan remains an asshole:

Going Viral

Cases and deaths continue to tick downwards but we are still looking at around 1,500 deaths a day. We are about to hit spring break, a potential super-spreader event, so hold your breath. The good news is, we are averaging around 2.25 million doses of vaccine being administered a day. In his address last night, President Biden directed all states to make the vaccine available to all adults beginning May 1st, which is a HUGE deal, and one of his initiatives is to create a website that will help people locate a vaccination site near them. His hope is that we get to a limited sense of normalcy by July 4th, so let’s get those shots!

President Biden also demanded that the violence against Asian-Americans stop: “So many of them are fellow Americans, are on the frontlines of this pandemic trying to save lives – and still are forced to live in fear for their lives just walking down streets in America. It’s wrong. It’s un-American. And it must stop.”

Obviously, the right framed President Biden’s hopeful and emotional speech as “disgusting” and “propagandistic,” and they are SO MAD President Biden didn’t give Former President MEMEMEMEMEMEME any credit:

It must be exhausting to have to lie all the damn time about everything because reality doesn’t align with your outrage.

For the record, I do give the previous administration some credit for exactly one thing: lifting regulations so that pharmaceutical companies could fast-track the vaccines. That’s all they accomplished, and even that has an asterisk next to it, as Pfizer wasn’t part of “Operation Warp Speed.” That said, the previous administration had absolutely NO PLAN in terms of vaccine distribution: it was all about dumping the vaccine on the states without any sort of plan or money and wishing them good luck. It was basically going to be the PPE disaster of last spring all over again — but this time with fragile vaccines. So anyone whinging that President Biden owes Former President Shitknuckle anything can just fuck right the fuck off.

The CDC is negotiating with Dollar General to be a vaccination site, which is a fantastic idea that will make sure our rural communities have access. Let’s get this done.

But please do not get two doses of the vaccine in one day!

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert will do their own tribute to the year that was tonight:

Lester Holt says that COVID-19 will be the biggest story he’ll ever cover — but adds that he says that “very quietly.” BITCH, YOU BETTER SAY THAT QUIETLY. REMEMBER WHEN WE ALL THOUGHT 2016 WAS THE WORST YEAR WE’D EVER SEEN?

CGI spit, that’s what this virus has reduced us to. And by “us” I mean The CW show Walker.

This 8-year-old girl is a Goddamned American hero.

I know this is an obvious statement, but it’s been a rough year for movie theaters.


In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • This Is a Robbery: The World’s Biggest Art Heist will debut on Netflix on April 7.
  • The Day Sports Stood Still will premiere on HBO on March 24.
  • Our OWN Easter will debut on OWN on March 30.
  • Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous will return on May 21.
  • Infinity Train will return on HBO Max on April 15.
  • Madame Claude will premiere on Netflix on
  • Ted Lasso debuted on October 2, 2020. Does this mean we can expect season two around the same time? Maybe!


Cliff Simon, Actor best known for his portrayal of Ba’al on Stargate SG-1



The One: A DNA researcher creates a matchmaking service that promises to find people’s true loves — and love and lies spiral out of control in this new psychological thriller. Series premiere. Netflix

Isabel: This three-part miniseries explores the life of Chilean author Isabel Allende. Premiere. HBO Max

Own the Room: Five students from all over the world compete in the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards, for a chance at a $100,000 prize and the opportunity to change their lives and the world in this new docuseries. Premiere. Disney+


The 2021 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards: Chance the Rapper hosts. 6:30 p.m., Nickelodeon

Point Break & Speed: All your 90s Keanu Reeves needs taken care of in one double feature. 5 p.m., HBO


The 63rd Grammy Awards: Trevor Noah is hosting the music awards from the Staples Center in what I assume will be a virtual ceremony? Maybe? GOOD LUCK. 7 p.m., CBS

Allen v. Farrow: Series finale. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Nick Offerman, Hailey Bieber, Freddie Gibbs
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Dr. Anthony Fauci

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
CBS Oprah with Meghan and Harry: A CBS Primetime Special
CW Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC Shark Tank
American Idol
CBS Bob Hearts Abishola
The Unicorn
48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX Big East Basketball
Game of Talents
NBC Dateline Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
American Idol
Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?
CBS 60 Minutes The 63rd Grammy Awards
The CW Local Batwoman
FOX Cherries Wild
Bless the Harts
The Simp-sons
The Great North
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC The Voice
Ellen’s Game of Games
Good Girls

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