The case against Former President Inciter is air tight. Too bad the Republicans couldn’t be fucked to do their job and hear it.

It’s Friday and it is entirely too cold here and it’s only going to get colder. Pray for us here in Texas, we know nothing about cold. 

I need Pixar to make a movie about this turtle who is in love with a manatee:

Political Crap: Impeachment corner: Impeachment 2: I still know what you did last summer

Yesterday’s impeachment proceedings found the House Managers wrapping up their case against Former President Kindling, reemphasizing some powerful points that they had made the day before. It wasn’t repetitive, per se, but it did feel like they were trying to hammer home for the Republican Senators that this was not something that we can just move on from and pretend it didn’t happen.

But it’s a delicate dance, right? They are trying to win over Republican votes, but some Republicans — looking at you, Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley — were complicit with what happened on January 6th and don’t want to be made to feel guilty or uncomfortable or like a traitor to their party. To that end, it felt like they tried to show the Republicans that this is not a typical political fight, this is not an “us vs. you” situation — they were all targeted by Former President Thugs domestic terrorists, their own Republican Vice President was being hunted down, and that this had broader foreign policy implications even, putting the entire country at danger.

Of course, it would have been helpful if the Republicans had actually shown up to hear these arguments but it’s been reported that some 15 Republican Senators — jurors! on a trial! — didn’t attend yesterday’s presentation and 3 met with Former President High Fructose Corn Syrup’s attorneys.

But as unlikely a conviction is at this point thanks to bad faith Republicans whose minds are already made up, it is still important this trial is taking place, it is still important that this becomes part of the record of this country, it is still important that we, the American people, understand what really happened last month.

The presentation yesterday began with the words of the insurrectionists themselves, demonstrating that they were there on the Former Instigator-in-Chief’s behalf:

“We were invited by the President of the United States.”

Furthermore — and even more importantly considering how long it took him to do so — they only dispersed when he told them to.

The House Managers then repeated the argument that Former President Knock the Hell Out of Them knew exactly how violent his supporters are, and that he praised and encouraged their willingness to use violence. They focused on how the Michigan capitol was invaded in the spring and how Former President Lawless never condemned the violence but instead urged Governor Whitmer to negotiate with the rioters — people who were literally planning to kidnap and murder her, as we learned later. It was a dry run for January 6th, and the insurrectionists were emboldened by Former President Importan Joe’s praise and encouragement. 

After the kidnapping plot against Whitmer was revealed, Former President Menace went to Michigan where he held a rally and the crowd chanted “lock her up.” I mean.

Representative Ted Lieu discussed how Former President Pathological Narcissist never sent help and showed no remorse for what happened (still hasn’t) — and in fact, defiantly insisted that his conduct was “totally appropriate.” It is this defiance that is particularly dangerous — if he is not punished for what happened on January 6, for what he incited on January 6, he will learn a terrible lesson: that what he did is permissible. (Just like the lesson he learned from the first impeachment acquittal was that interfering in an election is totally cool and allowed. We can see now how well that worked out for all of us.)

Rep. Lieu also showed a long list of statements from Republicans calling the violence unacceptable and laying it directly at the feet of Former President Deplorable.


Representative Diana DeGette gave a presentation on how the insurrectionists were emboldened by the “success” they felt they had on January 6th and how they made plans to return for the inauguration, were looking for Former President Fomenters instructions, and how they remain a threat to all of them today and into the future.

Representative David Cicilline discussed how the mob was looking to take out the line of succession, and how the attack traumatized the staff and officers, injuring many, and leading to the deaths of three Capitol officers.

Representative Joaquin Castro focused on the foreign security issues related to the attack: both that it diminished our nation as a symbol of democracy around the world and in a less metaphorical sense. One woman in the mob allegedly stole a laptop from Nancy Pelosi’s office with the intent to give it to the Russians. In fact, even if you are some crazed white nationalist who dismisses the very notion of domestic terrorism, you have to ask yourself, who was in that mob? Were they all Americans? Or could there have been foreign agents among them?

Representative Joe Neguse and Representative Jamie Raskin then countered any arguments that Former President Ferret Hair might make about exercising his first amendment rights, before summarizing their argument that Former President Domestic Terrorist incited a violent insurrection against the government, and leaving the Republicans with some questions:

  • “Why did President Trump not tell his supporters to stop the attack on the Capitol as soon as he learned of it?”
  • Why did President Trump do nothing to stop the attack for at least two hours after the attack began?”
  • “As our constitutional commander in chief, why did he do nothing to send help to our overwhelmed, besieged law enforcement officers for at least two hours on January 6th after the attack began?”
  • Why did President Trump not at any point that day condemn the violent insurrection and the insurrectionists?”

These are good questions. Too bad the Republicans are plugging their fingers in their ears and refusing to consider them.

Former President Pee Tape’s lawyers are presenting while I write this, and so far their arguments have included, “Democrats don’t like Former President Emoluments,” “Democrats also say the word ‘fight,'”

… and “in this one photoshoot of Rep. Raskin, he’s looking at some fake tweets on a computer screen.”

It’s going to be a long few hours of whataboutism and nonsense, just so the Republican cowards can vote to acquit while claiming that the entire proceeding is unconstitutional (even though the Senate determined otherwise). The whole mess will probably be over with sometime this weekend, so I might post a little something here tomorrow or Sunday. Stay tuned.

All Other TV News

Bachelor contestant Rachel Kirkconnell, a.k.a. “Veronica from Riverdale,” has apologized for attending an antebellum-themed party in college. (This is somewhat spoilery, but I hear she’s a front-runner, so it’s not surprising she’s doing damage control.)

As for Matt James, he revealed how he really felt about Queen Asshole Victoria on last night’s Watch What Happens Live!

Ted Cruz is SO BAD at this:

Chappelle’s Show is back on Netflix because Dave Chappelle finally got the license to the show back and is actually getting paid for his work.

Shelley Duvall is doing OK, and that’s what matters.

One of the Bridgerton stars hints that bees will be a bit of an easter egg in the second season.

It’s cute that Hallmark included a gay couple in an ensemble cast of one of their holiday movies, but when are they going to have a same-sex couple as the leads in a movie? I mean, when Blue’s Clues is being more LGBTQ aware and inclusive than a network for grown-ass adults …

I dropped the ball on recapping all of the Real Housewives shows, but New Jersey — which I loved the most — I just couldn’t do it anymore. Something happened when Teresa’s life fell apart: even though she was making the choice to stay on the show and chronicle her many crises, it felt dark to write about her in my usual snarky tone. But it looks like she’s picking up her life, and I’m happy to see she’s found someone new. More upsetting was seeing this photo of Teresa with her daughters, all of whom are entirely too old now. I feel personally attacked.


  • Younger is probably going to end after this upcoming 7th season on Freeform.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Widower will air on NBC on February 18.
  • Wipeout will premiere on TBS on April 1.
  • Paradise PD returns on Netflix on March 12.


Larry Robins, Manager and producer

Katherine Creag, NBC New York reporter

Frank Moreno, Independent film executive who worked with everyone from Roger Corman to Ingmar Bergman

Robert B. “Bob” Steuer, Film production and distribution executive



To the Boys: Always and Forever: The third and final chapter of Laura Jean’s story. Premiere. Netflix

Marvel’s Behind the Mask: This documentary explores the origins of Marvel, and will feature the writers and artists who gave birth to the brand’s iconic characters. Premiere. Disney+

Hip Hop Uncovered: This six-part documentary series examines the unsung heroes of the hip hop music scene, and how the streets shaped the culture of the music industry’s most dominant genre. Series premiere. FX

Galentine’s Day Nightmare: A woman meets a man while hanging out with her gal pals, but it turns out 1. he’s her boss’s husband, 2. her boss is now dead, and 3. now this lady is the prime suspect. I dunno, but this all seems antithetical to the Galentine’s Day traditions that Leslie Knope created. Premiere. 7 p.m., LMN

MacGyver: It’s a Lost mini-reunion! And also a Hawaii Five-0 crossover (sorta)! A lot is going on here! 7 p.m., CBS


Saturday Night Live: Regina King and Nathaniel Rateliff. 10:30 p.m., NBC

Roots: A marathon of the original and groundbreaking 1977 miniseries. 11 a.m., Sundance


American Idol: The singing competition is back. Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

The Simpsons: Bart finds his teacher’s journal in the winter premiere. 7 p.m. Fox

The Great North: Wolf seeks the perfect anniversary gift for Honeybee in what is not the premiere, but somehow actually the third episode. This seems chaotic, Fox. 7:30 p.m., Fox

Bob’s Burgers: Bob and Linda put their own plans aside to cash in on the lucrative Valentine’s Day dinner market. Winter premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Family Guy: Brian bonds with his girlfriend’s son. Winter premiere. 8:30 p.m., Fox

Men in Kilts: Sam Heughan and Graham McTavish drive around Scotland in kilts, because how else do you do it? Series premiere. 8 p.m., Starz

The Luminaries: Evan Green stars in this new adventure mystery series that follows a group of prospectors looking to make their fortunes in New Zealand’s 1860s Gold Rush. Series premiere. 8:30 p.m., Starz

Grand Ole Opry: 95 years of Country Music: Brad Paisley and Blake Shelton co-host this two-hour special honoring the classic show and stage. 8 p.m., NBC


Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy: I think we’re all in the “Yes, please, show me Stanley Tucci eating spaghetti and mozzarella” stage of the pandemic now. Series premiere. 8 p.m., CNN

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Kenan Thompson, Lana Condor, Fireboy DML
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Loni Love, Kandi Burruss

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Shark Tank
CBS MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Blue Bloods
CW Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
FOX Friday Night Smackdown Local
NBC The Blacklist

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC NBA Basketball
CBS FBI: Most Wanted
48 Hours 48 Hours News/Local
FOX 9-1-1
Name That Tune
NBC Ellen’s Game of Games
Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live
(Regina King & Nathaniel Rateliff)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
American Idol
The Rookie
CBS 60 Minutes NCIS: Los Angeles
NCIS: New Orleans
The CW Local Batwoman
FOX Cherries Wild
Bless the Harts
The Simp-sons
The Great North
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC Weakest Link
The Wall
Grand Ole Opry: 95 Years of Country Music

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