President Squatter is daring us to drag him out of the White House by his hair.

It’s Friday, and we’re close to a holiday break — if that even counts for anything anymore.

Two doggo videos for you today:

This poor Beagle is getting used to his new snow boots. Girl, same.

And this dog hates junk mail with a passion (my Ridgeback is actually the exact same way, but it’s less cute and more UTTERLY TERRIFYING for our poor mailmen).

Political Crap

Here’s a fun supercut of the Right moving the goalposts for when the election actually counts:

We are clearly at the “no date but January 20th really counts” phase of the mass denial which brings me to this story: So, apparently, the pardon asks are flooding the White House and like everything else associated with this administration, it’s a shitshow.

“It’s turned crazy,” one person familiar with the efforts said. “There’s a lot of activity.”

Because Trump has shown little interest in using the Justice Department’s Pardon Attorney system for assessing requests for executive clemency, petitioners are approaching the White House directly, calling or emailing senior adviser Jared Kushner, chief of staff Mark Meadows or White House counsel Pat Cipollone — when they can’t get ahold of Trump himself.

Obviously, he’s looking at pardoning his cronies, and those who could get him in trouble, like Allen Weisselberg, the chief financial officer of the Trump Organization, and, you know, himself. I don’t know, Joe Exotic, but it sounds like your pardon might be at the bottom of the pile.

But! The best part of this story is this delicious nugget:

Yet even amid the intractable movement of the transition and the hurried lame-duck activity — some of which he is participating in himself — Trump is steadfastly refusing to acknowledge that he lost.

In his moments of deepest denial, Trump has told some advisers that he will refuse to leave the White House on Inauguration Day, only to be walked down from that ledge. The possibility has alarmed some aides, but few believe Trump will actually follow through.



You probably won’t be able to buy your way onto the team that drags him out of the White House, but you can place a bid to be the person who demolishes the Trump Atlantic City Casino … the building will be demolished on January 29, bidding ends on January 19.

And then there is the delightful story about how his Palm Springs Mar-A-Lago neighbors don’t want him moving in. Back in the 90s, President Conman signed an agreement that prevented Mar-A-Lago from becoming a residence or residences. 

The current residency controversy tracks back to a deal Trump cut in 1993 when his finances were foundering and the cost of maintaining Mar-a-Lago was soaring into the multimillions each year. Under the agreement, club members are banned from spending more than 21 days a year in the club’s guest suites and cannot stay there for any longer than seven consecutive days. Before the arrangement was sealed, a Trump attorney assured the town council in a public meeting that his client would not live at Mar-a-Lago.

However, he’s flaunted this rule, spending 130 days there during his presidency and the city’s residents didn’t kick up a fuss at the time, possibly undermining their arguments now that he shouldn’t be allowed to live there. Still! Godspeed, Palm Springs!

A short list of things to be worried about: the Russian hack was more extensive than we previously thought and President Traitor could not give a fuck; his cronies in the Pentagon have canceled meetings with the Biden transition team; and just as the two sides were nearing closure on a stimulus deal, the Republicans suddenly demanded that the Federal Reserve not be allowed to participate in loan programs as a means to hobble the future Biden economy (this is a last-minute demand that had not been part of the conversation until now and it is some Grade-A bullshit).

A shorter list of things to be optimistic about: January 20 is only 33 days away.


I haven’t written much about the Georgia Senate runoff because, well, it gives me too much anxiety, honestly, and because I’m not in Georgia, and I don’t know that many of you are either. What can I do other than give money and cross my fingers? That said, I’d be remiss to not include this sequel to the “Get Your Booty to the Polls” video, featuring male strippers urging Georgia voters to get their “Pole to the Polls.” And if you are in Georgia, please for the love of Christ, vote. VOTE, I’m begging you, my mental health depends on it.

Going Viral

One million more Americans were infected — over the course of five days. After our first case here was discovered on January 21, it took three months to hit the million mark. Exponential growth is a bitch.

Mike Pence and his wife Karen both received the vaccine on television this morning, and Nancy Pelosi just received it a moment ago. Which is great! Now, let’s please get Joe and Kamala jabbed immediately.

Andy Slavitt was the Administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services under President Obama. This is a long Twitter thread — and a grim one — but it’s required reading.

Meanwhile, look at these assholes.

Leslie Odom Jr. is self-isolating after being near Ellen DeGeneres.

ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt has tested positive.

Slovak Prime Minister Igor Matovic has also tested positive.

The entire University of Houston men’s basketball team roster has tested positive.

Apparently, production on Mission Impossible 7 has taken an early holiday after Tom Cruise’s meltdown, and honestly? It’s probably the safest thing for everyone involved for multiple reasons.

The Morning Show and Shameless both had false positive scares.

The Big Leap, a Fox pilot, had to shut down after positive tests.

So, Joel McHale found this video, and Jimmy Kimmel was so amused he invited him on his show last night. But listen to this kid, he knows what he’s talking about:

All Other TV News

Oh sweet Jesus, President Two-bit Game Show Host is reportedly talking about bringing The Apprentice back once he’s out of office. On the one hand, FUCK ME, ABSOLUTELY NOT. But on the other hand, hey … at least he’s talking about leaving the White House, so that’s progress?

Obama tweeted out his favorite movies and TV shows of the year and it’s just a very good list:

Russian Doll: the perfect metaphor for 2020.

Yous guys: Dina Manzo’s ex-husband, Thomas Manzo, brother of Al, had a member of the Lucchese crime family beat up Dina’s new boyfriend, and then gave him a discount on a wedding at the Brownstone. MAYBE I NEED TO START WATCHING REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY AGAIN.

Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix are being sued over their cocktail recipe book which is terribly unsurprising.


In Development

  • An L.A. Law reboot starring Blair Underwood is in the works at ABC.
  • Little Shells, a friendship comedy, is being developed at CBS.
  • The Cipher, a thriller starring and produced by Jennifer Lopez, has been optioned at Netflix.
  • Yellowjackets, a survival drama, has been picked up at Showtime.
  • Good Griefa comedy based on the life of comedian Heather McMahan is coming to Peacock.
  • The Bridge, a limited series, is being developed at Amazon.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • The Book of Boba Fett, a Mandalorian spinoff that was essentially announced in the post-credit scenes, will debut sometime in 2021.
  • Letterkenny returns on Hulu on December 26.
  • Hip Hop Uncovered will debut on FX on February 12.
  • Dream Home Makeover returns on Netflix on January 1.
  • I Survived a Crime will premiere on A&E on February 17.
  • A House Divided returns on UMC on December 23.
  • Insomnia will premiere on Crackle on January 1.
  • HBO Max released a sizzle reel:
  • Wonder Woman will air on TBS, TNT, and Cartoon Network on December 20 to get people excited about Wonder Woman: 1984 on HBO Max on December 25.
  • Snowfall will return on FX on February 24.
  • Flack (season one) will debut on Amazon on January 22. (It originally aired on Pop, but season two will debut on Amazon later in 2021.)
  • Life Below Zero will return on National Geographic on January 19.
  • When Calls the Heart returns on Hallmark on February 21.
  • Muppet Babies returns on Disney Junior on January 4.
  • Unseamly: The Investigation of Peter Nygard will debut on Discovery+ on February 12.



Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom: Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Glynn Turman star in this drama about a blues singer in the 1920s who battles her white manager over control of her music, and her trumpeter who has his own ambitions in the music industry. Netflix

The Grand Tour: A Massive Hunt: In this feature-length special, Clarkson, Hammond, and May search for treasure in Madagascar. Premiere. Amazon

El Cid: The story of the legendary Spanish knight and mercenary who became a national hero. Series premiere.  Amazon

Creepshow: A Creepshow Holiday Special: Anna Camp and Adam Pally star in this Creepshow special in which Santa hunts werewolves. Premiere.  Shudder

On Pointe: If Tiny Pretty Things didn’t deliver enough ballet for you, this new docuseries goes inside the School of American Ballet (SAB) in New York City and follows the young students who study there. Premiere. Disney+


Saturday Night Live: Kristen Wiig and Dua Lipa 10:30 p.m., NBC

Wendy: Devin France stars in this take on the Peter Pan story, but set in rural Louisiana. 7 p.m., HBO

Global Citizen Prize: Individuals who have taken action to try to end global poverty are celebrated. 7 p.m., NBC

Letters to Satan Claus: In this spoof of a typical Lifetime/Hallmark Christmas movie, a big city reporter accidentally writes a letter to Satan instead of Santa, and has to return to her small hometown to prevent catastrophe. 8 p.m., Syfy


The Sound of Music: Hey, remember when being anti-Nazi was an unquestionably good thing? 6 p.m., ABC

Garth & Trisha Live! A Holiday Concert: The couple performs a holiday concert. Here’s to hoping Chris Gaines makes an appearance! 7 p.m., CBS

22nd Annual A Home for the Holidays: Gayle King hosts this annual celebration of adoption and foster care. 8:30 p.m., CBS

Gay Chorus Deep South: 300 members of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus travel into the Deep South to confront religious prejudices one concert at a time. Premiere. 8 p.m., Logo & Pop


Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Olivia Colman, Lucas Hedges, Barry Gibb, Jhené Aiko, Nas
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Jon Batiste
  • Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Kandi Burruss, Dr. Wendy Osefo

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Olaf’s Frozen Adventure Shrek the Halls 20/20
CBS MacGyver
Magnum P.I.
Blue Bloods
CW The Christmas Caroler Challenge
World’s Funniest Animals
FOX Pac-12 Football Local
NBC Weakest Link

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
CBS College Football
FOX College Basketball
NBC Global Citizen Prize
The Wall
Saturday Night Live
Saturday Night Live
(Kristen Wiig and Dua Lipa)

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Sound of Music
CBS NFL Football 60 Minutes Garth & Tricia: A Holiday Concert
The 22nd Annual A Home for the Holidays
The CW Local Masters of Illusion
The Outpost
FOX The Simp-sons
Bob’s Burgers
The Moodys
Bob’s Burgers
Family Guy
NBC Sunday Night Football

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