It’s Friday. Here’s a sea otter pup.
Little Lincoln, Prince of Sea Pups, joined our sea otter family one year ago today after he was rescued by @MontereyAq. pic.twitter.com/H4QV9Ki1Kn
— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) December 11, 2018
Political Crap
Welcome to another long weekend of Republicans attempting to set fire to democracy as we know it on behalf of Donald Fucking Trump of all people.
First of all President Loser lost two more times today, in Wisconsin and Michigan.
So, you know that dumb-dumb lawsuit Texas attorney general and target of an FBI investigation, Ken Paxton, filed in the Supreme Court suing states that voted for Biden? A couple more amicus briefs were filed in support of it by two very unserious groups:
1. A pair of imaginary states:
Texas now getting support from entities that are trying to carve new states out of California and Nevada. And of course they repeatedly misspell the name of Calif Gov Newsom. pic.twitter.com/zIpKlievPF
— Greg Stohr (@GregStohr) December 11, 2020
2. And 126 House Republicans, including minority leader Kevin McCarthy. Only 70 House Republicans have not signed on to this fantasy. This is who the GOP is now.
Breaking on @MSNBC: 126 House Republicans now want to overturn the will of the people, including Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy. 20 more GOP names now back the Texas lawsuit to overturn the election. The mass delusion continues.
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) December 11, 2020
Hopefully, the Supreme Court will punt this nonsense into the stratosphere sooner rather than later — maybe even by tonight — because it is starting to not being funny, and starting to just be irritating.
Literally, I was about to hit publish when:
DENIED! pic.twitter.com/6lBlTgbuzX
— Chris Lu (@ChrisLu44) December 11, 2020
LOL: “Texas has not demonstrated a judicially cognizable interest in the manner in which another State conducts its elections. All other pending motions are dismissed as moot.“
I certainly hope Ken Paxton got his promise for a federal pardon in writing because President Treason is going to be in NO KIND OF MOOD to be magnanimous after this.
But once this lawsuit disappears, there are still other ways for the Instigator-in-Chief can stir up trouble. On Monday, the Electoral College will vote (under police protection in some states because we’ve all lot our damn minds) and they will cast 306 votes for Joe Biden, electing him the 46th President of the United States, which hooray! Then, the results will be taken to Congress on January 6 where they will “count” the votes and declare Biden president. But! If one member of the House and one member of the Senate challenge a state’s vote, the entire Congress must vote in their separate chambers as to whether to challenge the results.
First of all, the Republicans haven’t found that Senator to challenge the results yet, but Loeffler is being pressured to do so, ad she’s certainly spineless enough to go along with it (even though the vote in her state elevated her to the runoff but WHATEVER). But even if they find a Senator to help, there’s no way the House would vote to challenge Biden’s win. So, while they may perform this bit of political theater to placate President Baby, it’s going nowhere.
“It’s just simply madness,” Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) said. “The idea of supplanting the vote of the people with partisan legislators, is, is so completely out of our national character that it’s simply mad. Of course the president has the right to challenge results in court, to have recounts. But this effort to subvert the vote of the people is dangerous and destructive of the cause of democracy.”
Indeed.
— Chris Hall (@mrwyomingmi) December 10, 2020
Meanwhile, President Slob is having a normal one today:
The Swine Flu (H1N1), and the attempt for a vaccine by the Obama Administration, with Joe Biden in charge, was a complete and total disaster. Now they want to come in and take over one of the “greatest and fastest medical miracles in modern day history.” I don’t think so!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 11, 2020
I just want to stop the world from killing itself!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 11, 2020
Now that the Biden Administration will be a scandal plagued mess for years to come, it is much easier for the Supreme Court of the United States to follow the Constitution and do what everybody knows has to be done. They must show great Courage & Wisdom. Save the USA!!!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 11, 2020
But at least the right-wing is handling his loss well:
Rush Limbaugh: “I actually think that we’re trending toward secession. I see more and more people asking what in the world do we have in common with the people who live in, say, New York?” https://t.co/tmQocGVoi4
— Eric Kleefeld (@EricKleefeld) December 9, 2020
Hang tight, friends, it’s getting crazier out there. In fact, in relation to my Bachelorette recap, I found this Psychology Today article and it’s very relevant: “When the Narcissist Fails: A cautionary examination of how narcissists react to failure.” It was written in July, but it could have been written yesterday.
As with many personality disorders, those who are severely flawed of character, but especially the narcissist, when they face public disgrace, when they are outed as criminals or for their misbehavior, or when they fail in a very public way—that is when they become metastable, placing us as family, friends, co-workers, corporations, the public, or a nation in greatest danger.
- They will falsely claim that everything is fine and that there is nothing wrong. They will try to first misdirect us or claim there is nothing to the allegations or circumstances.
- If evidence is presented, they will seek to have it invalidated or claim that it is false, fake, or a product of vague conspiracies, but most certainly not true.
- Any evidence presented, and those that present it will be attacked aggressively and vindictively. The better the evidence the more aggressive the attack. Individuals who are doing the right thing by reporting criminal acts, unethical behavior, or failings are to be discredited, humiliated, hounded and bullied—not even their families are to be spared if need be. The narcissist will engage supporters or enablers to simultaneously attack those who offer proof or evidence, even if it embarrassingly exposes their poodle-like behavior as that of spineless sycophants.
There are 11 more points in this article that will give you real-time PTSD. Enjoy.
In the meantime: give to a good cause, sit in on an Elf table read.
And enjoy the fact that Time Magazine named Joe Biden and Kamala Harris their Person of the Year and just really relish
Black Lives Matter
I hope you’re sitting down for this breaking news, but cisgender white men are overrepresented on television, to the exclusion of women of color. I’m shocked. This is my shocked face.
Good going, Cartoon Network:
Black inventors, heroes, and leaders are often left out of history. Ask yourself as you're learning…who is the focus? Why? Question the story ✊🏿✊🏼✊🏾✊✊🏻✊🏽💖
The Crystal Gems say BE ANTI-RACIST! Visit https://t.co/5ukinriWYO to learn more. pic.twitter.com/gNLYLO9PER
— Cartoon Network (@cartoonnetwork) December 3, 2020
Going Viral
More Americans have died of COVID-19 than died in all of World War II.
US coronavirus data for Thursday, Dec. 10, according to @NBCNews count:
• Cases: 229,928 (record)
• Deaths: 3,110 (record)US is averaging 2,316 deaths/day over the last week, up from 1,329 deaths/day four weeks ago.
— NBC News (@NBCNews) December 11, 2020
US coronavirus deaths (weekdays):
Nov 23: 1,164
Nov 24: 1,925
Nov 25: 2,073
Nov 26: 1,239
Nov 27: 1,558
–
Nov 30: 1,316
Dec 1: 2,380
Dec 2: 2,777
Dec 3: 2,802
Dec 4: 2,669
–
Dec 7: 1,789
Dec 8: 2,271
Dec 9: 3,103
Dec 10: 3,110 (record)— NBC News (@NBCNews) December 11, 2020
The FDA is expected to approve the Pfizer vaccine tonight, which is wonderful news! However, it’s not going to stop or slow down the death toll for at least 60 days, and the worst is yet to come. Also, the White House threatened to fire the head of the FDA if he didn’t announce the approval tonight instead of tomorrow, so, who knows what to make of that …
Dick Hinch, the incoming Republican New Hampshire Speaker of the House, died of COVID-19 a week after the state’s in-person and mostly maskless swearing-in ceremony. Most Democrats did not attend in person.
Tom “Tiny” Lister, Jr., actor and former WWF wrestler, known for his work in the Friday movies, as well as Star Trek: Enterprise, Nash Bridges, and The Dark Knight, died after experiencing COVID symptoms. Alarmingly, he tested positive five months ago, too.
Kim Ki-duk, award-winning South Korean director, has died of COVID.
Carrie Ann Inaba has tested positive for the virus.
You’re going to want to wear a mask under that face-shield. Sorry.
Through infrared cameras, the Washington Post shows how easily this virus spreads. Related: we are gross.
The pandemic might be changing the way men interact with each other — for the better. And the Fox News piece screaming about how men are being emasculated should air in 3 … 2 …
Here’s a reason to get the vaccine, guys.
NBCNews.com has turned over their entire front page to COVID stories today.
Is Disney World photoshopping masks on the faces of maskless visitors? Maybe!
AMC Theatres has announced that they will run out of money as of January and they are super mad at Warner Brothers for the whole HBO Max thing.
Meanwhile, the Guillermo del Toro film, Antlers, has been pushed from its February release date.
Denis Villeneuve, the director of Dune, is SO MAD about it streaming on HBO Max on the same day it will premiere in theaters. And I understand his frustration, but, dude. Simmer down. It’s going to be OK. Your movie will still be in theaters (well, if they still exist …) and the people for whom watching the movie in the theater is important will still do so, especially if we get this virus under control by October. Chill.
Disney news
Disney held its investor meeting yesterday and dumped a literal SHITTON of news in our laps. I’m going to try to organize this by category, and some news falls under FX or Hulu news, which I’ve included in the usual categories below.
ALRIGHT. SO.
First of all, Disney+ now has nearly 87 million subscribers. Fun fact: Disney originally hoped to have between 60-90 million subscribers by 2024. So, well done, guys.
Also, your subscription price is about to go up. Disney+ is going to go up a dollar, and will cost $7.99 beginning in March. In better news, they are going to offer a new bundle with Disney+, Hulu, and ESPN for an ad-free Hulu experience for $18.99 a month. Previously, the bundle was only available with the ad-supported Hulu platform.
But with that price increase comes a TON of new content.
Star Wars
Lando, a series focused on young Lando Calrissian from Dear White People creator Justin Simien, is coming. Unclear if Donald Glover will star.
The Mandalorian will be receiving two spinoff series: Ashoka will focus on Ahsoka Tano (Rosario Dawson) and the other will be about the Rangers of New Republic. Ashoka is set to debut Christmas next year.
Ahsoka, a new Original Series, starring @RosarioDawson and set within the timeline of #TheMandalorian is coming to #DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/SH78By0Id3
— The Mandalorian (@themandalorian) December 10, 2020
Rangers of the New Republic, a new Original Series set within the timeline of #TheMandalorian is coming to #DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/HxAumWruMX
— The Mandalorian (@themandalorian) December 10, 2020
Rogue One character Cassian Andor will receive his own series. It is set to debut in 2022.
“Everything I did, I did for the Rebellion.” Andor, an Original Series set in the Star Wars universe, is streaming in 2022 on #DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/q2IT2qzEeR
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 10, 2020
Hayden Christensen will appear as Anakin Skywalker in the upcoming Obi-Won Kenobi series starring Ewan McGregor.
Star Wars: The Acolyte, is a mystery-thriller from Russian Doll co-creator Leslye Headland. It’s coming to Disney+ “soon.”
Star Wars: The Bad Batch, an animated Star Wars series is coming soon on Disney+.
A sneak peek at Star Wars: The Bad Batch, an all-new animated Original Series from Lucasfilm Animation, coming soon to #DisneyPlus pic.twitter.com/V0jQc4XNIe
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 10, 2020
Star Wars: Visions is a series of anime films set in the Star Wars universe. It will premiere on Disney+ in 2021.
Star Wars: Visions, an Original Series of animated short films, celebrates the @StarWars galaxy through the lens of the world’s best Japanese anime creators. Coming in 2021 to @DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/lmCZGSHEhY
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 10, 2020
Patty Jenkins, the director of Wonder Woman, is directing Rogue Squadron, a Star Wars movie. It will premiere in 2023.
— Patty Jenkins (@PattyJenks) December 10, 2020
Marvel
Loki will premiere this summer on Disney+.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier will debut on Disney+ on March 19.
WandaVision will debut on Disney+ on January 15.
What If? … will debut on Disney+ in the summer.
Ms. Marvel will debut on Disney+ in the summer.
Ms. Marvel, a newer character to Marvel comics has grabbed the world's imagination and we are excited to announce Iman Vellani as Kamala Khan.
Ms. Marvel, an Original Series from Marvel Studios, is coming late 2021 to #DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/ArHe8vMCXd
— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) December 11, 2020
The Fantastic Four is getting another movie.
Jon Watts will direct the new feature film for Marvel's First Family, Fantastic Four! pic.twitter.com/4EswhPLM2w
— Marvel Entertainment (@Marvel) December 11, 2020
Black Panther II is set to premiere in theaters in July 2022. They will not recast Chadwick Bosman.
Black Widow is still going to premiere in theaters, in May.
Disney and all the Rest
Chip ‘n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers, an animated/live-action hybrid movie featuring the voices of John Mulaney and Andy Samberg will premiere on Disney+.
Pinocchio; Peter Pan & Wendy; Sister Act 3; Enchanted; Diary of a Wimpy Kid will all premiere on Disney+.
Big Hero 6, The Princess And The Frog, Moana, and Zootopia are all receiving the series treatment on Disney+. So are Up! and Cars.
A television remake of Swiss Family Robinson is in the works at Disney+.
Cheaper by the Dozen is being rebooted with Gabrielle Union to star. It will premiere on Disney+ in 2022.
Cheaper by the Dozen, a reimagining of the hit comedy from “Blackish” producer Kenya Barris, will debut on @DisneyPlus in 2022. The story centers on a blended family of 12, navigating a hectic home life and their family business. Gabrielle Union (@itsgabrielleu) is set to star.
— Disney (@Disney) December 10, 2020
Willow, the series will premiere on Disney+ in 2022.
Willow, an Original Series from Lucasfilm starring Warwick Davis, with pilot directed by @JonMChu, is coming in 2022 to @DisneyPlus. pic.twitter.com/pZSvG6T7cf
— Star Wars (@starwars) December 10, 2020
Raya and the Last Dragon, an animated feature, will premiere on Disney+ for an extra charge (ala Mulan) in March.
Hocus Pocus 2 will premiere on Disney+.
Lightyear, a Buzz Lightyear spinoff voiced by Chris Evans, will arrive in theaters in June.
Mighty Ducks: Game Changers is a spinoff series coming to Disney+. Emilio Estevez will return as Gordon Bombay.
And they’re remaking Three Men and a Baby with Zac Efron.
Welcome to Earth, a nature series starring Will Smith from Darren Aronofsky is coming to Disney+.
Martin Luther King, Jr. is your next Genius and the series is moving from Nat Geo to Disney+.
All Other TV News
It’s all Disney news, guys. Except for this:
Wendy Williams is shutting down her show for the rest of the year following the death of her mother.
Renewals
- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been renewed for FOUR more seasons on FXX, bringing it to season 18. That’s insane, but I’m grateful.
- The Handmaid’s Tale has been renewed for a fifth season on Hulu.
- Transplant has been renewed on NBC for a second season.
- Peyton’s Places has been renewed on ESPN+ for the third season.
In Development
- An Alien series from Noah Hawley is being developed at FX, just as has been long rumored. (Technically this and the Kardashian news below are Disney stories, but they aren’t “Disney” Disney stories, so.)
- The Kardashians have signed a deal with Hulu, so I guess we’re not done with them after all. (I also wonder if this doesn’t have everything to do with Ryan Seacrest of all people. Seacrest has been consolidating his relationship with Disney/ABC: American Idol is on ABC; he’s the co-host of Live with Kelly and Ryan!; he’s the new Dick Clark on New Year’s Eve … and Ryan Seacrest Productions was the producer of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I wonder if when it was time to renew Keeping Up With the Kardashian‘s contract with E! [which itself is part of the NBCUniversal family], the Kardashians didn’t demand an absurd amount of money with the intention of moving to Disney, which owns most of Hulu now.)
- The Bottoms, a crime drama set in Shreveport, Louisiana, created by and starring Jon Bernthal, is being developed at Amazon.
- Being Erica, a Canadian dramedy, is being remade with Allison Williams to star.
- Teachable, a public school teacher drama, is being developed at CBS.
- A limited series about The Rolling Stones is coming to FX.
- Crag Banyon P.I., an animated comedy, is being developed at Fox.
- Sonic the Hedgehog is being turned into a 3D animated series at Netflix.
- Ole White Sugah Daddy is being adapted into a series at Amazon.
- The Porter, a drama about the first Black union, is being made by CBC and BET+.
- Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion is being adapted for TV.
- Three Little Birds, a family drama, is being made at ITV.
- Katori Hall, the creator of P-Valley, has signed an overall deal with Lionsgate TV.
Casting News
- Chris Evans will join the cast of Don’t Look Up on Netflix.
- Rosie O’Donnell is joining the cast of American Gigolo on Showtime.
- Beth Broderick and Caroline Rhea will appear in the final season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix.
- Patrick Page, Douglas Sills, Amy Forsyth, Taylor Richardson, Kelley Curran, Ben Ahlers, and Bill Irwin have been added to the cast of The Gilded Age on HBO.
Mark Your Calendar
- The Midnight Sky will premiere on Netflix on December 23.
- 30 Coins will premiere on HBO on January 4.
- Godfather of Harlem will return on Epix in April.
- The Watch will debut on BBC America on January 3.
- A Creepshow Holiday Special will premiere on Shudder on December 18.
- Painting with John will debut on HBO on January 22.
- Nature Gone Wild will premiere on A&E on January 6.
- The Real Blac Chyna will debut on WE tv on January 7.
- The Netflix Afterparty: The Best Shows of the Worst Year will begin streaming on Netflix on December 13.
- Love & Hip Hop: Secrets Unlocked will air on VH1 on January 4.
- Master Distiller returns on Discovery on December 29.
- The Jane Doe Murders will premiere on Oxygen on January 3.
- Monster Garage will debut on Discovery+ on January 4.
- 100 Day Dream Home will return on HGTV on January 4; House in a Hurry on January 6.
R.I.P.
Dame Barbara Windsor, British actress in EastEnders and the Carry On films
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
The Prom: Ryan Murphy adapts the 2018 Broadway musical which features an all-star cast including: Meryl Street; James Corden; Nicole Kidman; Keegan-Michael Key; Andrew Rannells; Ariana DeBose; Kerry Washington; and Jo Ellen Pellman. Netflix
High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Holiday Special: The holiday special features the cast as themselves — not their characters — as they sing holiday songs and share special holiday memories. Premiere. Disney+
Adult Material: This British comedy follows pornstar Jolene Dollar as she juggles her work and the difficulties of motherhood. Series premiere. HBO Max
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live: Timothée Chalamet & Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band 10:30 p.m., NBC
The Bee Gees: How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?: The story of the Gibb brothers rise through fame and fortune, beginning in the 60s and eventually taking them to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 7 p.m., HBO
Love, Lights, Hanukkah!: A woman discovers through a DNA test that she is Jewish which leads to “a new, unlikely romance over eight crazy nights” in this new holiday film. This is part of Hallmark’s “Countdown to Christmas,” by the way. 7 p.m., Hallmark
SUNDAY
The Walking Dead Holiday Special: And why SHOULDN’T a zombie series have a holiday special? Give me one reason. AMC+
Couples Therapy: The Covid Special: When we come out of all of this, it will be fascinating to see what the divorce rate is. Premiere. 7 p.m., Showtime
Groundhog Day: Tomorrow, the electoral college will vote for Joe Biden as the 46th President of the United States despite the current occupant of the White House’s efforts to prevent that from happening, mostly in the form of losing again and again and again and again. Anyway, this is just a classic and I’m not recommending it for any particular reason. 10 p.m., Sundance
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Kristen Bell, Sienna Miller, Kelly Clarkson, Brett Eldredge
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Stephen Colbert’s Return To New Zealand: A Magical Land Where Hugs Still Happen
- Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Kenya Moore, Ziwe Fumudoh
FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | Shark Tank (new) |
20/20 |
CBS | MacGyver (new) |
Magnum P.I. (new) |
Blue Bloods (new) |
CW | The Christmas Caroler Challenge (new) |
Local |
FOX | Friday Night Smackdown | Local |
NBC | Weakest Link (repeat) |
Dateline |
—
SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
ABC | College Football (live) |
News/Local |
CBS | Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (repeat) |
Frosty the Snowman (repeat) |
Frosty Returns (repeat) |
48 Hours | News/Local |
FOX | MLS Cup (live) |
News/Local |
NBC | Ellen’s Game of Games (repeat) |
The Wall (repeat) |
Saturday Night Live (repeat) |
News/ Local |
Saturday Night Live (Timothée Chalamet & Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band) |
—
SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
ABC | The Disney Holiday Singalong (repeat) |
Supermarket Sweep (new) |
Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? (new) |
Card Sharks (new) |
CBS | 60 Minutes | Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (repeat) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (new) |
NCIS: New Orleans (new) |
The CW | Local | Pandora (new) |
The Outpost (new) |
Local |
FOX | The OT (live) |
The Simp-sons (new) |
Bless the Harts (new) |
Bob’s Burgers (new) |
Family Guy (new) |
Local/News |
NBC | Sunday Night Football (live) |