Coup Watch, Day Ten: Still no coup.

Welcome to Monday! Only 65 more days of this clown show, no matter what the President Head Clown has to say about it!

Political Crap

Well, it’s been a weekend.

It was announced on Saturday that the mastermind behind Four Seasons Total Landscaping would be put in charge of President Loser’s legal strategy to throw the election. It’s going exactly as well as one might expect: the “Sharpiegate” lawsuit in Arizona has been dropped; a judge has rejected an effort to audit the election in Michigan and throw out more than 300,000 votes; six cases in Pennsylvania have been thrown out; and President Frivolous Lawsuit’s lawyers removed a big part of their complaint in Pennsylvania that would lead to 600,000 votes being invalidated. ADDITIONALLY, other lawsuits brought by voters in four states have been dropped by the plaintiffs.

From Politico:

Yet for all of this, Trump’s campaign and his supporters are continuing to push on with more lawsuits, leading veteran election law lawyers like Kenneth Gross to speculate that he’s using the lawsuits to raise money or process the grief of his loss.

“There are all these stages of grief — anger, denial, bargaining etc. — and it seems to me he’s experiencing all of them simultaneously instead of linearly, except for acceptance,” Gross said. “Keeping multiple balls in the air that we know are not going to land in a good place could be partially to assuage his psychological issues of getting over the loss of this and giving his fans some thin reed of hope. But they’re being misled.”

Psychologically unstable grifters gonna grift.

But there have also been some signs that President Second Place is starting to maybe accept — or at the very least understand that he lost. In an address from the Rose Garden about last week’s vaccine news, he let slip the possibility that he lost: Whatever happens in the future, who knows which administration it will be,” Trump, less animated than usual, said in remarks in the Rose Garden. “I guess time will tell.” (In the same address, he suggested he was going to withhold vaccine from New York State because he’s still a goddamned dick.)

And then, Saturday morning he tweeted the following:

Excuse me, he WHAT? Did you just admit Biden won the election, President Conceder?

Someone in the White House soon alerted President Dumbass that he just conceded that he lost on Twitter because a few minutes later came this toddler scream:

He then soothed his own hurt feelings by doing this multiple times in the past 24 hours:

Still, I believe we’re edging ever closer to the endgame. According to Geraldo Rivera on Friday:

So here’s the thing: Every state has to certify their votes by December 8 and the electoral college makes it official on December 14. Those are hard and fast dates that President Shrieking Into the Void can do fuckall about. But more than that, the certifications started becoming official as of last week.

Some important dates:

November 20: Georgia certifies its results.

November 23: Pennsylvania and Michigan certify their results.

November 24: Minnesota certifies its results.

November 30: Arizona certifies its results.

December 1: Nevada and Wisconsin certify their results.

Basically, this is all over in a week from today once Georgia, Pennsylvania, and Michigan make it OFFICIAL official that Biden won. There is still the possible faithless elector lane, but considering that of the states above, only Pennsylvania and Georgia do not have laws on the books binding the electors to the vote, and considering that Pennsylvania has a Democratic governor who will never sign off on such shenanigans, the bottom line is that it is over in a week unless something truly insane happens.

And so that’s why my only real question left is when does President Worst President Ever fuck off to Mar-a-Lago to never return? Does he fuck off to Mar-a-Lago for Thanksgiving and never returns? Or does he come back and then fucks off for Christmas and never returns? After all, the electoral college doesn’t vote until December 8, so he might return after Thanksgiving just to continue making a stink for another week or so. But maybe, just maybe, he cuts his — and our — losses by next week.

One can hope, right?

Going Viral

Bad news: We went from 10 million cases to 11 million cases in 6 days.

Great news: Another vaccine seems to be on the horizon. Moderna announced that their vaccine is 94.5% effective and unlike Pfizer’s, can be stored in much warmer temperatures.

But moderating news: It won’t be widely available until this spring, however, so we must continue social distancing and wearing masks. In fact, even after the vaccines are widely distributed, Dr. Fauci is urging us to continue social distancing and wearing masks.

Meanwhile, in a real-life example of Goofus and Gallant:

I’m sure I didn’t even need to tell you that President Superspreader hasn’t been to a COVID Task Force meeting in over five months — you just knew that instinctively, I’m guessing.

The GSA is still refusing to order the transition to take place to placate President Emporer’s hurt feelings, which could make a mess of a vaccine roll-out early next year. So that’s cool.

And then there are all the people who — WHILE LITERALLY DYING FROM THE VIRUS — deny the existence of the virus. We have a lot of work to do come January 20, 2021.

And if that’s not terrifying enough, in Michigan and Wisconsin, the states are shutting down indoor gatherings. Here’s how Scott Atlas, the White House COVID-19 Herd Immunity Expert responded:

I would remind Dr. Atlas that Governor Whitmer was the target of a kidnapping plot not a month ago. These people are so fucking dangerous.

Here’s a handy tool to assess your risk of gathering for Thanksgiving. In years past, I had two Thanksgivings every year: one at a friend’s house that would include sometimes up to 60-70 people, and then I would go to my family’s which would usually be around 20-25 people. Neither of these will be happening this year, and it is a bummer — but it might be the thing that allows us to have a Christmas with my family next month.

Ivanka and Jared’s kids got thrown out of their school because their parents have been publicly flouting COVID guidelines, lol. This is just the beginning, you ghouls.


Singer Jeremih is currently hospitalized with COVID-19.

Also hospitalized: Richard Schiff. Yikes.

Soumitra Chatterjee, an Indian actor who had appeared in more than 300 films, died of COVID complications.

Ben Platt revealed on Twitter that he had the virus earlier in the year.

Alaska Representative Don Young who mocked concerns about the virus has tested positive.

Boris Johnson is self-isolating after having been exposed to the virus.

Bosch had to suspend production for a week after a positive test.

Kelly Clarkson Show staffers have tested positive.

Crew members on the American Music Awards have tested positive ahead of next week’s show.

All Other TV News

HBO Max is FINALLY coming to Amazon Fire. (Just in time for Christmas, I see.)

Peacock has launched a Saved by the Bell channel ahead of the reboot.

Here’s who won the People’s Choice Awards last night. There are some admittedly interesting choices (Never Have I Ever? Well done, people!)

A little bit more about American Horror Stories, the companion series to American Horror Story from Ryan Murphy: “We are doing 16 one-hour stand-alone episodes delving into horror myths, legends, and lore…many of these episodes will feature AHS stars you know and love. More to follow…”

No one wants a miniseries on “cancel culture,” David Fincher. What we want are more seasons of Mindhunter, David Fincher.

This will surprise you, but MAGA types don’t really get social satire and commentary:

This is just a very good list of Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants who have alleged producer manipulation and editing shenanigans. I’m sure it could be much, much longer.

HBO Max is “working on” saving Venture Bros. — but nothing is imminent, so temper any excitement.

Wait, Kamala and Montel? WHAT?

Claudia Conway, daughter of Kellyanne and George, is auditioning for American Idol because absolutely. Why not. 

This has very little — if anything — to do with television, but the Baltimore Museum of Art has named their bathrooms for John Waters after he donated a bunch of art to them. Perfection.

The host of HGTV’s Good Bones has had her house pooped on more than once.

LOVE IS DEAD. (Legit boo on this one.)

The monster who attacked Canadian national treasure Rick Moranis has been arrested.

Oh no, recover quickly, Sinbad!

Feel better soon, Al Roker!

Get better soon, Tommy Lasorda.


  • Space Force has been renewed for a second season at Netflix.


  • The Order has been canceled at Netflix after two seasons.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Servant will return on Apple TV+ on January 15.
  • Let Them All Talk will premiere on HBO Max on December 10.
  • 9-1-1 will return on Fox soon.
  • The Great British Baking Show: Holidays will debut on Netflix on December 4.
  • Sugar Rush Christmas will premiere on Netflix on November 27.
  • Alien Worlds debuts on Netflix on December 2.
  • Safety will premiere on Disney+ on December 11.
  • Stillwater will debut on Apple TV+ on December 4.
  • Canvas will debut on Netflix on December 11.


Walter C. Miller, Director and producer of the Grammys, Tonys, and CMAs

Lynn Kellogg, Broadway actress

Paul Hornung, NFL star and MVP

Doug Supernaw, Country singer


His Dark Materials: Lyra and Will explore a new world in the season two premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

The Neighborhood: A member of the Butlers’ and Johnsons’ community is the victim of racial discrimination. Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

Bob ♥ Abishola: Bob buys an engagement ring in the season premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS

All Rise: Lola is detained during a protest. Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Bull: Bull and his team try to navigate a virtual court system. Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Erin Andrews, Chance the Rapper, G Herbo
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kaley Cuoco, Cazzie David, Valerie Franco
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jake Tapper, BENEE
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Maria Bakalova
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Ryan Phillippe, David Cross, Wallows
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Ricky Gervais
  • Watch What Happens Live: James Hough, Elizabeth Frankini

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing With the Stars
The Good Doctor
CBS The Neighborhood
Bob ♥ Abishola
All Rise
Big Brother
CW Whose Line is it Anyway?
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
FOX L.A.’s Finest
Filthy Rich
NBC The Voice
Weakest Link


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