It’s Tuesday and in 71 days, Major and Champ will be the First Dogs:
This is Major and Champ. They are the dogs of @JoeBiden and @DrBiden. Champ has already been to the White House, but Major hasn’t yet. Champ can’t wait to show him around. Both 14/10 would be an honor to pet pic.twitter.com/Zwqmx7X6FB
— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) November 7, 2020
Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to tell you some things that you should be worried about, and then I’m going to tell you why you shouldn’t be all that worried, and then I’m going to tell you what you should REALLY be worried about.
Things to be worried about: though Joe Biden is the projected President-Elect, President Denial refuses to concede and he and his cronies are setting fires everywhere:
Mitch McConnell has announced that it’s totally cool for President Wounded Pride to challenge Biden’s win, and undermine our entire electoral system.
Bill Barr released a memo to the DOJ, granting the prosecutors authority to investigate voter fraud. One Justice Department official, Richard Pilger, who oversaw voting-fraud-related investigations as the director of the Election Crimes Branch, stepped down from his position in disgust.
President Twatter fired Mark Esper, the Defense Secretary via tweet. Alarmingly, the thing that put Esper on the outs with President Fascist was his unwillingness to use troops to quell the protests in the summer. It is expected that FBI Director Christopher Wray and CIA Director Gina Haspel will also be Twitter-fired at any moment, opening up the possibility that our national security could be compromised in the transition period.
And then there are the lawsuits. President Soiled Diaper is launching a flurry of lawsuits all over the country in an attempt to not just invalidate votes, but to throw out some states’ entire electoral college votes, specifically Pennsylvania.
President Loser’s legal team has argued most recently that all of Pennsylvania’s electoral votes should be tossed in the garbage because: 1. mail-in ballots were different than in-person ballots and thus treated differently; 2. their poll watchers weren’t allowed to sit in the laps of the poll workers while they did their jobs; 3. ballots that were postmarked on Election Day but arrived after shouldn’t be counted; and 4. because in some Democratic counties, people who needed to cure their votes were notified to do so, whereas in Republican counties, they didn’t bother to mention it. If they succeed with this lawsuit, it could open up a very dangerous avenue in which other states’ electoral college votes could be challenged, or mail-in votes could be thrown out altogether. Foolish Watcher’s legal advisor is taking an alarmingly pessimistic position, worrying that if this case in particular gets in front of the Supreme Court, Judge Alito has already signaled his enthusiasm for throwing out perfectly valid votes.
They are also suing in Michigan claiming a lack of transparency in vote counting; in Arizona over a false conspiracy theory about votes made in Sharpie being thrown out; in Georgia on a false claim that late ballots were mixed in with legitimate ballots; and in Nevada where they don’t want machine verification of signatures, and wanting to throw out some mail-in ballots because some came from non-Nevada addresses: specifically, military voters who live on military bases outside of Nevada, you know, like soldiers sometimes are forced to do.
Now, as promised, why I think you shouldn’t worry all that much:
Pompeo and Emily Murphy are just cowards who don’t want to be the first people in the administration to say President Grunt lost the election; Mitch McConnell is giving the voter fraud conspiracies air because he wants to win the Senate races in Georgia that are vital to maintaining his majority; and Bill Barr’s memo is not meaningless — it says a lot that a long-time prosecutor would resign over it — but the fine print suggests that it might be toothless, noting that “specious, speculative, fanciful or far-fetched claims should not be a basis for initiating federal inquiries.” And “specious, speculative, fanciful or far-fetched claims,” friends, is all President Grasping at Straws has right now.
As for those lawsuits:
I kneel before my fellow Chicago lawyer’s explanation here. pic.twitter.com/WPCE4gYIyh
— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) November 8, 2020
And that’s the thing that keeps me calmest about these lawsuits, is that even if President Dipshit gets some relief from the courts, if he gets recounts or even certain votes thrown out — like the late-arriving ballots in Pennsylvania — the numbers to flip the states just still are not in his favor:
Trump campaign loudly touted a lawsuit claiming there was a "large scale" problem in Maricopa county where voters did not have the chance to fix potentially overvoted ballots.
— Sam Levine (@srl) November 10, 2020
Trump is losing to Biden by…
20,539 votes in Wisconsin
47,215 votes in Pennsylvania
12,567 votes in Georgia
14,746 votes in Arizona
36,274 votes in Nevada
These are not margins that get undone in recounts.
— Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) November 10, 2020
Basically, to overthrow this election, they are going to have to throw out the entire state’s votes, not just a few thousand here and there, and while Alito might be chomping at the bit to do just that, I find it hard to believe many other judges will be anxious to disenfranchise millions of voters. IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE. But it’s unlikely.
Finally, the things I think we really need to worry about: One is very literal, the other is more existential. If the lawsuits don’t pan out, the right is calling for Republican swing state legislatures to overthrow their voters’ choice and send electors to the Electoral College who will vote for President Cheater. It’s a super risky move that would alienate millions of voters from their local politicians, which makes me think it’s unlikely to happen. But, then again, these guys keep proving there is no low they won’t consider to maintain power. Basically, we have to keep holding our breath until the Electoral College convenes and officially elects Joe Biden on December 14.
But the bigger and more lasting danger to all of this mess is that every day the President of the United States sows doubt in his followers’ minds about this election, the more he erodes our Democracy.
This is simply insane.
Trust in the electoral process among Republicans has cratered from 68% before the election to 34% now.
The reason: Donald Trump can't accept that he lost.
This is the damage Trump is causing and almost every elected Republican is helping him do it. pic.twitter.com/rTO7xM0res
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) November 10, 2020
At this rate, no election won by a Democrat will ever be accepted as reality by the other side, and the suspicion and distrust not just of the government but of their fellow Americans will grow and continue to poison everything.
It’s a scary time, and Ken Dilanian is all of us right now.
Thank you, Ken Dilanian, for this. MSNBC realness on display here. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/EkhGIUGelZ
— Super Angry Attorney (@SuperAngryAtty) November 10, 2020
Johnny Depp has FINALLY been kicked off Fantastic Beasts for being an abusive piece of shit. But get this: he gets to keep his full pay despite having filmed only one scene.
A writer on the upcoming CW series Superman & Lois says she was fired after fighting for more representation and swatting down sexism in the writing:
Some personal news: Wednesday I got word that my contract on Superman and Lois won't be extended, my services no longer needed, my outline and draft subpar (obviously I disagree with that last bit lol). This, after months of me flagging #metoo jokes in dialogue 1/2
— Nadria✨👑 (@NadriaTucker) November 6, 2020
I've been assured by colleagues that I was great in the room, so I know I'm not nuts. I debated whether to post this but my own mental wellbeing demands that I do. The only way shit changes is to expose it. ❤️💙 /end
— Nadria✨👑 (@NadriaTucker) November 6, 2020
Hey, we’ve hit 10 million cases this past weekend, and Texas alone has over one million cases. Yee-haw.
Tyler Hubbard of Florida Georgia Line has tested positive ahead of the CMAs. Singer Lee Brice also tested positive. Both have pulled out of the awards ceremony.
All Other TV News
Jeopardy!‘s tribute to Alex Trebek in case you missed it yesterday:
Meanwhile, talk of replacements is already happening. Ken Jennings is obviously in the running but George Stephanopoulos is out here lobbying for the job.
RuPaul is getting his own ChiaPet head, and frankly, I can’t think of anyone who deserves one more.
George R.R. Martin swears he’s still writing and that things are moving forward nicely on The House of Dragons.
- The Umbrella Academy has been renewed for a third season on Netflix.
- Alex Rider has been renewed for a second season at IMDb TV.
- The Outsider has been canceled at HBO but will be shopped to other networks. (SOMEONE PLEASE BUY THIS.)
- Demi-God, a hybrid live-action and animated series, is in development at Fox.
- Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical! starring Matthew Morrison, is coming to NBC.
- Max, a dark comedy, is in the works at HBO Max.
- Hägar the Horrible is being turned into an animated series.
- (In)Visible Portraits has been acquired at OWN.
- Generation 56K, an Italian comedy, has been ordered at Netflix.
- Kathryn Hahn will co-star in The Shrink Next Door on Apple.
- Ruth Wilson and Andrew Scott have been cast in Oslo on HBO.
- Luis Gerardo Méndez, Alberto Guerra, Luisa Rubino and Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio (aka Bad Bunny) have joined Narcos: Mexico on Netflix.
- Marnee Carpenter, Jayne Atkinson, Shawn Doyle, and Tim Guinee have joined the cast of Clarice on CBS.
- Maya Hawke and Camila Mendes will star in Strangers on Netflix.
- Scarlett Estevez, Daniel Sunjata, Alexis Carra and Priscilla Lopez will star in Christmas Again for Disney+.
Mark Your Calendars
- Happiest Season will debut on Hulu on November 25.
- The Mystery of D.B. Cooper will premiere on HBO Max on November 26.
- Stylish with Jenna Lyons will debut on HBO Max on December 3.
- The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again will debut on Netflix on November 19.
- Small Axe will premiere on Hulu on November 20.
- Holiday Home Makeover with Mr. Christmas will debut on Netflix on November 18.
- The Hardy Boys will debut on Hulu on December 4.
- Colin Quinn & Friends will premiere on HBO Max on November 12.
- TNT, TBS and True TV will each air HBO Max shows and movies over the four-day Thanksgiving weekend, including The Flight Attendant and Superintelligence.
- Wonderoos will debut on Netflix Jr. on November 24.
- Breaking Beauty will premiere on Crackle on November 19.
- The Mess You Leave Behind will debut on Netflix on December 11.
- Adventure Time: Distant Lands will premiere on HBO Max on November 19.
- Sesame Street returns on HBO Max on November 12.
- On Pointe will debut on HBO Max on December 18.
- A Creepshow Holiday Special will debut on Shudder on December 18.
- A Christmas For Mary will debut on Own on December 8; Cooking Up Christmas on December 15; First Christmas on December 22.
- MacGyver; Blue Bloods; and Magnum P.I. will all return on the CBS schedule on December 4.
- The Bachelor on January 4
- Celebrity Wheel of Fortune on January 7
- The Chase on January 7
- The Hustler on January 7
- To Tell the Truth on January 26
- American Idol on February 14
Fox has also announced their winter premiere dates:
- The Masked Dancer on December 27
- Call Me Kat on January 3
- Last Man Standing on January 3
- The Simpsons on January 3
- Bless the Harts on January 3
- Hell’s Kitchen on January 7
- The Resident on January 12
- Prodigal Son on January 12
- 9-1-1 on January 18
- 9-1-1: Lone Star on January 18
Ken Spears, Co-creator of Scooby-Doo
A Teacher: Kate Mara stars in this new series about a predatory teacher. Series premiere. Hulu
Dash & Lily: In this romantic YA holiday series, a young couple exchange notes in a book. It sounds like something out of a Jane Austen novel but OK. Series premiere. Netflix
The Cost of Winning: A docuseries that follows the St. Frances Academy Panthers football program in Baltimore, a team that perseveres against adversity. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Vince Vaughn, Lorraine Bracco, Gus Dapperton
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Demi Lovato, Edgar Ramirez, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Carter McLean
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hugh Grant, Sturgill Simpson
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Thomas Middleditch, Black Pumas
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Gillian Anderson, Emmanuel Acho, Ty Dolla $ign
- The Daily Show: TBA
- Conan: Zach Braff
- Watch What Happens Live: Reba McEntire, Darius Rucker
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