Insane Clown Posse, 42 workers who lived in a factory, a bunch of hilarious stuntmen, ‘Saturday Night Live,’ and other unexpected heroes of this moment.

Please please please please watch this amazing video, even if you think, “I don’t care about stuntmen or stunts, I’m not going to waste two minutes of my COMPLETELY ENDLESS DAY” — you know what? maybe watch this especially if you think that. It will make your day, I promise:

Saturday Night Live is going to do another “At Home” episode this weekend. And I’m great with that. While the first “At Home” wasn’t exactly a perfect episode, it was better than I had hoped and we could all use a laugh right now.

Jeff Zucker is saying that the CNN staff won’t be returning to the studios until September at the earliest. Whoa. Meanwhile, a Fox News contributor compared the CNN anchors who contracted the virus to reality show participants — suggesting, I think? that they inserted themselves into the story in a way that isn’t appropriate for journalists? Uh, no, dude, that’s not what happened here.

Meanwhile, Fox News executives are trying to rein in their personalities and order them to remind their viewers to social distance at lockdown protests. GOOD LUCK GETTING THAT HORSE BACK IN THE BARN, ASSHOLES.

YouTube is launching a slate of ten new COVID-19-related series: Celebrity Substitute, The Creator Games Presented by Mr Beast, Stay At Home With: Yungblud, #MoveWithMe, #StreamWithMe, The Secret Life of Lele Pons, BookTube: Read With Me, Locked Down, Untitled Juanpa and Luisito Project and Create Together #WithMe. Click on the link for more details and dates.

Coronavirus, Explained will debut on Netflix on April 26.

Daymond John, one of the sharks on Shark Tank, has been accused of trying to sell N95 masks to Florida at three times the price. NOT NOW, ASSHOLE.

Crackle has launched a “Homeschool Channel,” for the likes of Nick Thune and his son Townes here.

Elizabeth Warren’s brother, Donald Reed Herring, has passed away from the virus. This is only going to fuel this fire:

Joel Rogosin, a producer of the original Magnum P.I. and Knight Rider, has passed away from the virus. He is the fifth resident of the Motion Picture Television Fund’s home to die of the virus.

Marianne Faithful has recovered from COVID-19, thank goodness.

If you have not seen the COMPLETELY INSANE Anderson Cooper interview with the mayor of Las Vegas, buckle up because it is a ride:

As for the federal response, a few fun stories:

1. Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar made a guy named Brian Harrison the head of the COVID-19 response. Before joining the government, Harrison’s job was running Dallas Labradoodles. He was a dog breeder. Heckuva job, Azary. Now, don’t get it twisted, while this is obviously incredibly dumb, this story is also clearly the opening salvo of the White House throwing Azar directly under the bus. They need a scapegoat and fast, and it looks like Azar fits the bill.

2. Dr. Rick Bright, the head of the agency in charge of HHS, was pushed out because he wanted to use the money Congress allocated for treatments be used for scientifically-proven treatments and vaccines, not President My Uncle Taught at M.I.T.’s pet drug, hydroxychloroquine. He is now calling for an Inspector General to look into his dismissal. GOOD.

3. Mitch McConnell thinks the states should go bankrupt rather than provide a federal bailout. Cool plan, Tortoise Face.

Insane Clown Posse has canceled the Juggalos Gathering because even the guys who don’t understand how magnets and giraffes “work” GET THAT THIS IS A DEADLY VIRUS THAT IS TRANSMITTED WHEN PEOPLE GET TOO CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER, SOMETHING THAT OUR PRESIDENT AND A NUMBER OF GOVERNORS AND A FEW PEOPLE I KNOW ON FACEBOOK DON’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO GRASP.

“The bottom line is that we REFUSE to risk even ONE Juggalo life by hosting a Gathering during these troubling times.” I MEAN, LOOK AT THAT! IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD, DAN PATRICK?

Furthermore — FURTHERMORE — ICP donated 300 shirts to be turned into masks for health care workers. “And that’s when she knew it was the end of the world: when she had more respect for Insane Clown Posse than an entire political party …”

Riot Games has canceled their League of Legends tournament.

Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse has been pushed back to the fall for release.

Good News:

Beyoncé has donated $6 million for mental health relief efforts.

Billy Porter, Pete & Chasten Buttigieg, Rosie O’Donnell, Jonathan Van Ness, Brian Michael Smith, Ross Mathews, and Tyler Oakley are joining the Together in Pride: You are Not Alone online event to raise money for LGBTQ community centers.

The Office cast is doing an online hangout to raise money for relief.

Post Malone is going to do a bunch of Nirvana songs in a concert from home to raise money for COVID-19 relief.

Ansel Elgort’s elgort raised over $200,000.

Pussy Riot and Idles are playing a virtual concert on Minecraft to raise money for relief efforts.

YouTube is going to remove all unsubstantiated medical content. GOOD. NOW REMOVE ALL THE TEEVEE DOCTORS.

These 42 men lived in a Pennsylvania factory FOR A MONTH to make raw materials for PPE for health care workers. They saved lives — they’ll never know how many, but they saved lives.

An Australian boy named Corona wrote Tom Hanks a letter to see how he was feeling, and to tell him he’s been bullied because of his name. In response, America’s Dad wrote him back and send him a typewriter from his collection:

Hanks wrote him back, and sent along an aptly-named Corona-brand typewriter.

“Your letter made my wife and I feel so wonderful!” he wrote. “You know, you are the only person I’ve ever known to have the name Corona — like the ring around the sun, a crown,” the double Oscar winner wrote to the boy.

“I thought this typewriter would suit you,” he added, according to a picture of the letter aired by Channel 7 News. “Ask a grown-up how it works. And use it to write me back.”

Plus, he gave a little nod to “Toy Story” in a handwritten note at the end that said, “P.S. You got a friend in ME!”

Now all I want in the entire world is to bring Matilda and Big Poppa for a playdate together:

All Other TV News

Glad to hear the Succession cast received raises. In fact, HBO should pay the cast of Succession WHATEVER THEY DEMAND.

Here’s what to expect from the Elliot Stabler Law & Order spinoff, you know, besides rolled-up sleeves and lots of intense glowering.

You’ll be able to watch Quibi on your TV sometime next week, and they’ve nearly hit 3 million subscribers. Meanwhile, another executive has left just two weeks after the service’s launch. Hmm.

So how long until The Countess’ next bender?

There used to be a show on Logo, a spinoff of RuPaul’s Drag Race called RuPaul’s Drag U, in which cisgender women received drag makeovers which helped them unlock their own fabulousness. The new HBO show, We’re Here, which debuts today, sounds a lot like that idea, but taken on the road. I can’t wait.

No, Jussie Smollett, you may not sue Chicago.

Oh nooooooooooo

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill will premiere on Netflix on May 5.
  • Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian will premiere on Disney+ on May 4. (Obviously.)
  • Pokemon Journeys: The Series will debut on Netflix “soon.”
  • White Lines will debut on Netflix on May 15.
  • Grant will premiere on History on May 25.
  • A Secret Love will premiere on Netflix on April 29.
  • The Split returns on SundanceTV on May 21.

Watch This

Will & Grace: Series finale (again) followed by a half-hour special. 8 p.m., NBC

We’re Here: Bob the Drag Queen, Eureka O’Hara, and Shangela Laquifa travel the country and dragifiy it in this new series. Series premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

Superstore: Dina tries to help Amy keep a secret from Jonah in the season finale. 7 p.m., NBC

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: A massive blackout hits Brooklyn in the season finale. 7:30 p.m., NBC

Law & Order: SVU: The SVU faces setbacks in a number of cases in the season finale. 9 p.m., NBC

NFL Draft: Hahahaha, it’s sweet to pretend there is going to be an NFL season. 7 p.m., ABC

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Alex Rodriguez, Rhett & Link, Tones and I
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Bill Gates, Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Hugh Jackman
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
  • Conan: Kaley Cuoco
  • Watch What Happens Live: Wendi McLendon-Covey, Leah McSweeney
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC NFL Draft
(live)
CBS Young Sheldon
(repeat)
Man With a Plan
(new)
Mom
(repeat)
Broke
(new)
Tommy
(new)
CW Katy Keene
(new)
In the Dark
(new)
News/Local
FOX Last Man Standing
(new)
Last Man Standing
(repeat)
Mental Samurai
(repeat)
News/Local
NBC Super-store
(new)
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(new)
Will & Grace
(new)
Law & Order: SVU
(new)

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